fly pic








Someone who observes a situation without being noticed






Bzzzzz…bzzzzz…hey, look…over here!  Top left hand corner.  Yeah, that’s me – the fly on the wall.


That’s right – Musca Domestica, but you can call me Zip.  I’m a plain old housefly, but I’ve got ambition!  Maybe that’s why they’ve asked me to do the previews for next week’s Virtual Moonlighting episode.


I hatched a little over two weeks ago.  Saw my chance to live the lush life – dashed through the open door of a big-ticket nest in L. A.  This gorgeous blonde was holding the door wide open for me – well, actually, it was for her dog, but I felt like it was a personal invitation. And you know what they say about opportunity.


I thought, “I’ve got it made here”,  – nice big house, and only two people living there…well, two and the mutt.  There’s the blonde, and this sort of goofy, likeable guy who I guess is her husband…boyfriend…hard to tell.  They’re not all lovey dovey, kissy face like those Hallmark commercials  (TV – I’m just drawn to the screen!).  Kinda more like the boxing matches the guy watches, but with words.  No punches though…and it’s more fun to watch.


I’ll tell you what I’ve figured out about these people – they talk…A LOT !!  They talk loud, they talk at the same time, they talk and talk and talk.  Then, sometimes they stop talking – I think they might be doing the thing that makes little flies – my instincts tell me so, but since I have yet to hook up with a lady fly, my point of reference is limited.


Anyway, for a couple of days they were talking about a case…a case of what, I’m not sure.  I was hoping soda, they usually leave some in the bottom of the can…nice and sweet…except the blonde drinks that diet stuff.  Well, anyway, it wasn’t really interesting until the guy started talking about turning it into a weekend vacation. 


Quite frankly, that house hadn’t turned out to be a fly paradise  -- there was never any food around and the blonde kept swatting at me.  She was starting to get a little obsessed with removing me from the landscape.  Hey, I’ve seen RAID commercials – when she took out that big spray can, I got the hell out of there.  I jumped on that guy’s shoulder, and he and I did the ADIOS thing…right into a great little red Corvette! (At least I think it’s red...flies are color blind, you know.)


Talk about movin’ on up – great music, enough fast food crumbs to keep a whole swarm of my buds happy – and what a host – a real “live and let live” kinda guy.


So yesterday, he comes out with a big plastic bag, and a little sucking thing (he kept calling it a Dust Busta), and he does a job on the inside of the car…I hid in the ashtray.  Then he drives through a building full of rain, and the outside of the ‘Vette gets bright and shiny.  The blonde comes out and takes a look at the car when we get back, and she says, “IT LOOKS GOOD, BUT I BET YOU A HUNDRED DOLLARS IT NEVER MAKES IT TO SAN DIEGO.”  Then he says, “LET’S MAKE IT A LITTLE MORE INTERESTING THAN THAT, GOLDILOCKS.”  I lost track after that…all I can say is that those humans have some pretty strange ideas about what to do in the shower.


Meanwhile, I started to think with my enormous fly brain…I ask you, do any of you know the life span of the average fly?…OK, over there, you, lady in the fuzzy pink bathrobe with the big bowl of popcorn…hey, good answer, lady!  The average housefly lives about 20 days, and even though I consider myself above average, I’ve been around now for 17 days.  The most I can hope for is a long weekend… a chance for a little adventure before I head for that big pest strip in the sky.


So I guess I’m destined to spend the three days with these two…and their case…although I still haven’t seen a case of anything – a couple pieces of luggage that’s about it.  So, I guess we’re off to San Diego…to live and learn…or at least to learn.  I’m not looking to go out in a blaze of glory…just a nice comfortable three days, kicking back in the sun, maybe getting a little gourmet garbage, and taking a look at how these two live their lives.  What can happen in three days anyway?


Ok, so here they come…c’mon take a ride with us.  Something tells me these two can keep life interesting to say the least…and I’ll be signing in regularly to give you the “fly on the wall” perspective.


See ya on the flip side…  Zip.


Oh by the by…I forgot about the commercial.  This episode of Virtual Moonlighting will post on Sunday, May 4th, and I’ll give you a little insider info –


This episode contains Virtual’s second annual multi-media presentation :  Yeah, that's right!  A new video!


Hope to see you Sunday…we’re off, with a little help from the Chairman of the Board:


Come fly with me, come fly, let’s fly away ………….