Season 10 – Episode 1
What’s in a Name?
An early evening in late September
An unidentified bedroom
We open on a room that appears to be the childhood bedroom of a young man. It is decorated a bit haphazardly, but lovingly. There are posters on the walls, along with a cluster of photos and a framed high school diploma. There is an assortment of various sports equipment scattered about.
A woman in her mid forties sits on one of the twin beds. She appears to be lost in thought. She holds a baseball trophy in her hand and unconsciously strokes the small batter on top. Her expression is sad.
A man appears in the doorway and pauses to watch her for a moment. His expression mirrors hers.
He walks into the room and stands next to her. She looks up, as if seeing him for the first time. She leans into his body as he puts his arm around her shoulders. The man speaks.
Man: Lesley, we need to make a decision….a plan. It’s been three months.
Lesley looks up at him, eyes glistening.
Lesley: I know…….I know….
She starts to speak…stops…then starts again.
Lesley: I feel like we’re letting him go.
The man crouches by her side, and takes her hands.
Man: That can never happen…we will always have him with us. And now, he can help lead us to the truth…after all these years.
Lesley hesitates for a moment, then nods her head.
Lesley: You’re right, I know you are…but it’s hard, Matt.
Matt: For me too.
They embrace, holding on for precious minutes.
Matt: So, I’ll call the detective agency in the morning?
Lesley nods wordlessly, and he rises and pulls her to her feet. They both take a last look around the room and exit, closing the door behind them.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Act 1 Scene 1
The same evening
The Addison-Hayes residence
The Spare bedroom AKA “The Nursery”
The room is almost empty, save a painting on the wall, and a few items piled on the floor. The deep jewel tones of the painted walls seem jarring in the open space, and make the room seem small.
Maddie stands in the middle of the room, hands on hips, while David perches at the top of a ladder, trying to remove the picture.
Maddie has blossomed, showing every day of her seven months of pregnancy. She looks soft, rounded in all the right places. The look is a flattering one for her, even if she herself is not quite convinced. Yes folks, I’ve gotta say it…..she glows.
There is a commotion as David struggles with the painting. Maddie moves over to steady it, as David scampers quickly down the ladder.
Maddie: David, be careful. Don’t hurt it.
David, grateful to be on solid ground, pulls the painting from her, and leans it against the wall.
David: Hurt that? Who could hurt that? What is it anyway? It looks like a pile of scrambled eggs with a big green eyeball in the middle.
Maddie: It’s an abstract.
David: It’s an abomination.
Maddie: It’s fine art.
David: And the eyeball?
Maddie inhales and her face takes on an expression we all know…she prepares for battle.
Maddie: It’s not an eyeball. In fact, if you would take the time to…….
She trails off……looks at him, grins and speaks.
Maddie: What can I say? I like green eyes.
David walks towards her, laughing.
David: What was that?
Maddie: What was that?
David: Hayes caves…news at eleven! Giving up or giving in?
Maddie: Not worth arguing about….saving my strength for the important stuff later.
He pulls her towards him, hands around her waist.
David: Never underestimate the power of make-up sex.
She smiles winningly.
Maddie: Have I ever?
David: I get it. We’re skipping to the good stuff. I like that.
He starts to nuzzle her neck. Then, he pulls back a moment, staring at her middle.
David: Looks like someone objects. Lots of activity in there tonight. Hey little one, you doing the bunny hop?
Maddie: Feels like Bunny’s hungry.
David: The agenda for tonight just gets longer.
A thought crosses David’s mind.
David: Hey, why are we doing this anyway? Don’t we have “people” for this?
Maddie: Who do you think you are, a movie star? You…..me….we’re our people, David.
David: My kind of people.
Maddie: This is the end of it anyway. We just have to get the rest of this out to the garage, and then bright and early tomorrow, the painters come.
She looks at him thoughtfully.
Maddie: Are you sure you don’t want to know what the plans are? What the room’s going to look like? Have some input? Last chance.
David: I gave up when you shot down the idea of wallpapering with candy wrappers.
David: All kidding aside….
Maddie: That’ll be the day.
David: If I may continue…..don’t get me wrong…it’s not that I don’t care. It’s just that…I don’t care. From the moment you and Milo put your noggins together, it’s been your project. I’m happy to be surprised.
Maddie: You’re sure?
David: Absotively…..posilutely. Of course, we could trade one surprise for another…..just give me the skinny on the X or Y and we’ll call it even.
Maddie: Dream on, Addison. Not only did you agree to abide by the results of our bet, but you swore on your Sam Cooke records that you wouldn’t continue to nag me about it.
David: Spoilsport. I still think Dr. Weed could be bribed.
He leans down and addresses Maddie’s midsection.
David: Or I’ll go right to the source. C’mon, Bunny, tell Dad. One kick for boy, and two for girl.
Maddie looks at him with a half smile on her face, and then sighs.
Maddie: Bunny……I guess we have put that off long enough. The time has come.
David grabs her arm and starts to pull her towards the door.
David: And the lady swoops in and improves the agenda with one teeny weeny innuendo.
Maddie: Did you really want me to touch that teeny weeny line?
David: Well you could touch something.
Maddie: You’re changing the subject.
David: Trying to at least. What was the subject anyway?
Maddie: Baby names.
David: Really? That flew right over my head.
Maddie: Too easy. We could do a couple of pages on hair jokes.
David rolls his eyes at her.
David: Ok, baby names. So Bunny is definitely out, huh?
Maddie: Unless it’s a boy.
David: Funny, Hayes. Ok…no Bunny.
Maddie: So what do you think of family names?
David: Not David.
Maddie: Not Maddie.
David: Really? No mini-Maddie?
Maddie: When I hear you say my name, I want to know it’s me you’re talking to.
David: Mmmmmm, I like that.
Maddie: You’ll like it better later.
David: Underpromise and overdeliver, Blondie.
Maddie: Plan on it.
They exchange a teasing look, then Maddie is back to the business at hand.
Maddie: So, you don’t want a junior?
David: I AM a junior, remember. He would be a third….a trip…..
Maddie: He’ll be a trip, I bet. So you don’t want a namesake?
David: Nope…too much for the poor kid to live up to.
Maddie: I thought every man wanted a son named after him.
David: Since when have I ever been “every man”?
Maddie: Good point.
David: I think every kid deserves his own name.
Maddie: I am going to say something I am not sure I’ve ever said to you. I agree.
David: Alert the media!
Maddie: So, as I understand it…..no Virginia, no Alex….
David: No David the third, no Irma…..
Maddie: No Richard……
David: God, no……talking about a name to live down to.
Maddie: So what are your ideas? What do you like?
David: I have three requirements: I have to be able to say it, spell it, and utter it in public without embarrassment.
Maddie: You really need to get over that scene at the dog park.
David: Easy for you to say. You weren’t being mocked by a pack of ten year olds.
He does a spot on imitation.
David: Miss Meeeeeee…..Miss Meeeeeee…..kiss kiss……smoooch smoooch.
Maddie: And who named the dog anyway? Would that have been – YOU?
David: A momentary lapse…blinded by love.
Maddie: Well, luckily you’ve got me along with this decision. So we won’t be ending up with “Happy Moonbeam Hayes Addison”.
David: That’s a great name for a clown, but I get your point.
Maddie: Well, if our child decides to follow in its father’s footsteps, he or she can choose its own clown name.
David: How about this? We wait till the little nipper pops out, take a look and say, “Yo!....insert name here…welcome to the world!”
Maddie looks askance.
David: Genius, right?
David quirks his eyebrows at her.
David: What’s wrong with that?
Maddie: David Addison, of all the hundreds of things I don’t do spontaneously…….
Maddie: Of all of those, choosing our child’s name spur of the moment is certainly not one of them. It’s a very important decision that he or she will have to live with forever. It can shape his or her life.
David: Don’t you think you are going a little overboard here? Sure, we don’t want to pick a name that will get him beat up at the playground but…..well, I just kinda thought once we got a look at the baby, we might just know what his name should be.
Maddie: But we should have a few options available…names we both like. It’s important.
David: Guess you’re probably right – who knows if I’d even be here today if my Dad had gotten his first choice.
Maddie: Which was?
Maddie wrinkles her nose.
Maddie: Alfredo Addison? Sounds like dinner.
David: See why I am so sympathetic to poor little Americo Baldassare Viola? His name sounds like a doomed Italian battleship or something.
Maddie: He looks like a Mickey! Well, there is not much chance of our little one ending up with that kind of a name. I’ve done some research……
David: Well, there’s a shocker….
Maddie: Unless you’d like our baby to be a fatherless child, you’d better knock that off.
David is resigned. He’s been through this kind of thing before, and knows the path.
David: (mocking) Ok, Ok…..what kind of research, pray tell?
Maddie: Well I have the list of this year’s top ten baby names for each sex.
David: Ix-nay. If we want the name to be special, we are not going to herd her into the hordes of Jessicas and Ashleys – we’d never find her if she wanders away at the zoo.
Maddie: Well I also have the Big Book of Baby Names……lists of names with their meanings.
Maddie: Have you got a better idea?
Maddie: You’re gonna sing?
David: Think about it, Maddie……any name worth using will have a song written about it……guaranteed.
Maddie: So we’re supposed to sing until we decide on names? That’s so random.
David: Doesn’t have to be…..we can do it alphabetically. I’ll start with A.
Maddie: I’d better not hear one note of Annie’s Song come out of your mouth.
David grimaces at her and starts to sing.
David: I’m gonna take you by surprise and make you realize, Amanda……
Maddie: Old girlfriend?
David nods his head.
David: Angie, Angie...when will those clouds all disappear?
Maddie: Too Mick Jagger.
David: I love Mick Jagger. Ok…a little softer, maybe? And Aubrey was her name….
Maddie: These are all girls’ names.
David: Switch gears….When you get caught between the moon and New York City….
Maddie: You lost me there.
David: That’s Arthur’s theme.
David: Don’t like that one huh? What’s it all about….
Maddie fills in the blank.
She wrinkles her nose.
David: Has anybody here seen my old friend Abraham? There you go, three for one – Abraham, Martin and John.
Maddie: I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say the A’s are a bust.
David: But we haven’t even looked at your book yet.
Maddie: I’m too tired to go get it.
David looks over at her appraisingly.
David: You’ve said it. Long day, pretty mama. I can get the rest of this stuff out of here. How about we continue this conversation horizontally?
Maddie: Sounds good.
David: Want a lift? I could sweep you off your feet.
Maddie: I think I can navigate the ten feet down the hall.
David: I’ll be right back. Get comfy.
David exits, laden down with boxes and the picture, singing as he goes
David: C’mon and hear. C’mon and hear. Alexander’s ragtime band
Maddie looks after him smiling, then heads down the hall.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Act 1 Scene 2
The Hayes Addison Master Bedroom
Soft music plays as we pan the bedroom. Maddie has changed into a clingy nightgown that clearly accentuates her pregnancy. She stands in front of the full length mirror for a moment, thoughtfully, then twists and turns her body as if trying to get a view from all angles.
She has not noticed David quietly enter the room. He pauses to watch her for a moment, then speaks softly.
David: Watcha doing, Hayes?
Maddie turns around, a little embarrassed to have been caught.
Maddie: Nothing. Just trying to see if this nightgown looks all right.
David walks over behind her. He puts his arms around her, and pulls her close.
David: You even have to ask? It looks fine…beautiful. You look beautiful.
Maddie: That’s an awful lot of material. Wonder if Macy’s is looking for a float for the Thanksgiving parade?
David kisses her neck.
David: You’re going to be otherwise occupied around Thanksgiving.
Maddie: And two months bigger…not sure how that’s possible.
David: Honey, we won’t have to put an addition on the house. I love the way you look…….
He catches her look and hurriedly continues.
David: I always love the way you look. But now you’re softer, rounder….
He moves his hands across her swollen stomach.
David: I touch you so often ‘cause I feel like I want to memorize you…especially now. I guess I can’t believe I’m so lucky.
He looks at her seriously, his eyes glistening a bit.
David: You…and this baby…you’re the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. You’ve got rocks in your head, Blondie….how could you be anything but gorgeous?
Maddie turns in his arms and faces him. She kisses him thoroughly, and pulls his hand, leading him towards the bed.
Maddie: Show me.
She slides onto the bed, and pulls David to her. They begin to kiss as we start to pull back from the bed. Music plays as we…
FADE TO BLACK
When you look into my eyes
And you see the crazy gypsy in my soul
It always comes as a surprise
When I feel my withered roots begin to grow
Well I never had a place that I could call my very own
But that's all right my love
'Cause you're my home
When you touch my weary head
And you tell me everything will be all right
You say use my body for your bed
And my love will keep you warm throughout the night
Well I'll never be a stranger and I'll never be alone
Wherever we're together
That's my home
You're my castle
You're my cabin and my instant pleasure dome
I need you in my house 'cause you're my home
You're my home
You're my home
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Act 2 Scene 1
The Next Morning
Inside the Lexus
The radio plays softly in the background, early morning drive time…on the less chatty side. Maddie drives
while David slumps in the passenger seat. His eyes are heavy and he has a self satisfied smile on his face.
He looks over at Maddie.
David: Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?
Maddie: I’m fine. I’d like to enjoy driving while I can still fit behind the steering wheel.
David: Hey, hey – thought we banished all the “whale is me” talk last night.
Maddie: It’s not self pity, just a statement of fact that I’ve got to deal with. Sometimes it’s just easier
said than done.
David: Back to last night…better done than said. Good, better, best in fact.
Maddie gives him a sidewise smile, her eyes still on the road.
David: Although a bit challenging…..
Maddie: Challenging? Me?
David: You? Never…
David: No, my comments go to technique. Whoever would have thought that those contortionist’s lessons
would have come in so handy.
David: Maddie! Nothing to get embarrassed about. I’m sure that kind of improvisation goes back to the
Garden of Eden. At least we didn’t have to worry about a sneaky old snake watching.
Maddie: David, really!
David: Ok, Ok……I just wanted to acknowledge that we’ve still got it –despite the presence of Bunny’s little hutch.
We’d probably get a ten from the West German judge.
Maddie: Where there’s a will, there’s a way, I guess.
David: And you are a strong willed woman.
He perks up with a start, and starts drumming on the dashboard.
David: Hey listen! Babababababarann….Babababababarann…..Barbarannnnnnn take my hand
……Barbarannnnnn, you got me rockin’ and a rollin’, rockin’ and a reelin’….Barbarann…Babababarann
Maddie: Oh goodie, another day, another ten thousand off key renditions.
David: Nice, Maddie, very nice…you wound me!
Maddie: In the throat?
David: Never…..How about this? C’mon and marry me, Bill. I’ve got the wedding bell blues……
Maddie: (dryly) You’ll make a lovely couple.
David: Billie Jean is not my lover………
Maddie: Good thing.
David: Brandy, you’re a fine girl…
Maddie: And an excellent after dinner drink.
David: See what fun this is. We could do this all day. What a team.
Maddie shakes her head.
Maddie: Just like Simon and Garfunkel.
David: Cecilia, you’re breakin’ my heart, you’re shakin’ my confidence daily…
Maddie: Lord help me, I’m stuck in this musical nightmare.
David: Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown, he’s a clown, that Charlie Brown…
Maddie: (muttering) He’s not the only one.
David sings on, unphased.
David: He’s gonna get caught, just you wait and see.
He lowers his voice to a deep bass.
David: Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me?
Maddie: Oh who could possibly know? Are you seriously going to do this all the way to the Zs?
David: You raised the challenge, my dear.
Maddie: No, you roped me in.
David: Roped and tied, the way I love my women.
She punches him in the shoulder.
David: That’ll leave a mark. Guess you like your men branded.
Maddie: Right now, I’m thinking I’d like a particular man with laryngitis.
David: Be careful what you wish on my pipes. Wait, how about this one -- Oh Danny boy…or girl…
the pipes, the pipes are calling…
Maddie just groans.
David: Or if you’d like it more formal….Daniel is traveling tonight on a plane…
Maddie: Could you go with him?
David: My my my Delilah….why why why Delilah….
Maddie: Can we put a moratorium on this for the rest of the ride?
David: Sure, but remember, we’re only up to “D”.
Maddie: D for delirious. How could I forget?
She adroitly changes the subject.
Maddie: It will be so nice to have Agnes back this morning.
David: Never thought I would be saying this, but I really did miss her around the office. She’s irreplaceable.
Maddie: Lord knows we tried. How many temps did we end up going through?
David: Four or five, I think.
Maddie: More like eleven, I believe.
David: Let’s face it, Ms. Hayes. Our agency is not your run of the mill agency. It has that…how would you say it, “je ne sais quoi”?
Maddie: Je say cuckoo!
David: Personality, quirkiness….
Maddie: The hell you say. Anyway, it is liable to be a tough day for Agnes…..we will have to give her a lot of support.
David: Yeah, back to dealing with Bert 24/7.
Maddie: I meant leaving the baby for the first time all day.
David: Well, there is always Blue Moon Daycare – a new enterprise.
Maddie: We’ve got our hands full with the old enterprise.
She pulls into the parking garage.
David: Here we are…office, sweet office.
Maddie pulls into a parking spot labeled “Blue Moon Detective Agency”.
David: Let’s get this show on the road.
He exits the car, and reaches into the back seat to grab both their briefcases.
Maddie struggles a bit, but manages to pull herself out of the car without assistance. She grins triumphantly.
Maddie: See, I did it.
David: Told you we didn’t need to get a hoist.
He takes her arm, and looks at her with a twinkle in his eye.
David: Let’s go, Hayes. Don’t forget the beach ball.
They walk towards the elevator…..David singing softly….
David: Elvira, Elvira…my heart’s on fire for Elvira…..
Maddie: Oh, David……
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Act 2, Scene 2
Blue Moon Detective Agency
We see the early AM Blue Moon, much as we would expect it. There are a few employees, performing the usual routine type things – coffee, a little chat about the weekend, reading the newspaper.
At the reception desk sits Agnes DiPesto Viola, just as she did about six weeks ago …only decidedly slimmer. Her desk holds a beautiful floral arrangement in fall colors. In a position of honor is an 8x10 photo of a baby...an adorable little guy with a headful of black curls.
The door opens, and Maddie and David enter. Agnes looks up with a ready smile as she spots them, and the phone rings.
Agnes: Blue Moon Detective Agency
New next door neighbors been stealing your mail?
Driving on the freeway and think you’ve got a tail?
We’ll help you out of trouble, no matter how deep
‘Cause diapers and formula sure don’t come cheap.
Yes, sir. How can I help you? An appointment? This morning? Let me check my book.
Maddie catches Agnes’s eye and nods her head emphatically and affirmatively.
Agnes: Sure what would be convenient for you? 10 A.M.? Certainly we can work you in. Your name please? Thank you, Mr. Kramer. We’ll see you at 10.
Agnes hangs up the phone and jumps off her stool. She hugs Maddie and David enthusiastically.
Agnes: Mr. Addison, Miss Hayes. It’s so great to see you….so good to be back. Thanks so much for the welcome back flowers.
David grabs her arm and twirls her around.
David: Lookin’ good, Mrs. Viola. Back to your fighting weight, I see.
Agnes: Lots of yoga. I feel good.
She turns to Maddie.
Agnes: Miss Hayes, you look terrific. Are you feeling good?
David reaches out and runs his hand down her arm.
David: She feels good to me.
Maddie bats his hand away.
Maddie: I’m feeling just fine, Agnes. And you are doing OK?
She nods at the picture.
Maddie: That’s a great picture of Mickey. How was it leaving him this morning?
Agnes: I feel great and excited to be back. Mickey was amazing today. He took to the daycare like a champ.
Maddie: And you’re sure you’re doing well? If you need to leave for a little while, to check up on the baby, there’s no problem.
Agnes: I’m fine. I am very confident that they are taking good care of him. Mickey and I went together to the daycare all last week, and I got to see their routine, and how they reacted to all the children. They are good and caring, and I know he is in good hands.
David: Smart move, Agnes.
Maddie: Very smart move.
Agnes: Well, I wouldn’t be the best me I could be, if I were home in the house all day. It was nice for six weeks, but now I’m ready to get back to some real live detective work.
David: Well, welcome back. Where’s Bert?
Agnes: Well, Bert may be having a little more difficulty than I am.
On cue, Bert wanders back from the corridor, looking a bit forlorn.
Bert: Morning Miss Hayes, Mr. Addison. Agnes, did you tell the daycare that Mickey needs to sleep with that special blue blanket? Maybe I should call them.
Agnes: Bert, you have called them three times this morning all ready. They are going to take out a restraining order. He’s fine….now chill….and get to work!
David: Our little general is back! C’mon Bert, let’s get a cup of coffee and you can tell me all about your exciting weekend.
They head towards David’s office. David looks over his shoulder and rolls his eyes. Agnes gives him the OK sign and smiles appreciatively.
A few notes of song drift back from David:
David: Do you hear the bells, Fernando……
Maddie: (loudly) Ugh!
David tries again:
David: Frankie and Johnny were lovers…
Maddie makes a gesture like she is going to choke someone. David smiles, blows her a kiss, and he and Bert go into his office.
Agnes: Where did we find those two, Miss Hayes?
Maddie: Under the blue moon, I’m afraid.
Agnes whispers conspiratorially to Maddie.
Agnes: Bert really hates that Mickey is so attached to that blue blanket. It was a gift from Magillicuddy.
Maddie: That could be awkward.
Agnes: It’s a little funny. I don’t push it, but it makes me smile every once in a while. It gets “lost” all the time, if you catch my drift.
Agnes: Yeah, he’s a big ball of insecurities, but I do love him.
Maddie: That’s the important thing.
Agnes: Ok, back to work. That was a Mr. Kramer. He seemed quite anxious to see you. I set him up for 10.
Maddie: Did he say anything about the case?
Agnes: No, just that he wanted the earliest appointment possible.
Maddie: Ok, I’ll be in my office. See if you can pry Bert and Mr. Addison apart before they get here, will you?
Agnes: Will do.
She spontaneously hugs Maddie.
Agnes: It’s good to be back.
Maddie: It’s good to have you back, Agnes. Give me a buzz when Mr. Kramer gets here.
Maddie smiles at the photo of the baby.
Maddie: That really is a great picture.
She exits into her office.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Act 2, Scene 3
Later that morning
Blue Moon Detective Agency
Maddie sits at the desk. She reaches towards the paperclips at the far side of her desk. The girth at her midsection seems to be in the way. She finally stands and reaches them, muttering to herself.
David, standing in the doorway, watches with amusement.
David: I would have gotten that for you.
Maddie: Please…I don’t need you to stand around for two months reaching things for me.
David: Ok then, maybe we can do a little cutout in the desk…sort of a crescent shape?
Maddie: Do you want to get punched?
David: Only if it’s foreplay.
He pauses for a moment. He is just sort of wandering around the room. His face lights up, and he starts to sing.
David: Good Golly, Miss Molly….
Maddie: That’s not a G
David: Oh ho, Ms. Hayes. You are paying attention.
Maddie: Waiting in anticipation is more like it. Kinda like watching a car wreck.
David: You love it.
Maddie: So, you’ve skipped to the Ms. I love that.
David belts out a line.
David: Gloria, Gloria…you’re always on the run now…Gloria…
Maddie: Good for Gloria. Do they only write songs about really bad names?
David: Holly holy eyes…dream of only you…
Maddie: That’s better.
David forges on.
David: Hooray for Hazel, she put me down.
Maddie: You should have quit while you were ahead. Listen, David, can we not do this when the clients are here? Please?
David wanders over to behind her desk and stands behind her for a moment.
Catching her unawares, he starts to nuzzle her neck.
David: Of course, boss. Absolutely, Ms. Hayes. Nothing but professional, I cross my heart.
He quickly twirls her chair around, and they end up in a tangle on the chair, kissing with a bit of fervor.
There is a knock on the door.
David: Come in.
Agnes enters, looks and smiles, amused at catching the bosses. David takes his time getting to his feet. Maddie struggles to get to hers, the effort made more difficult by her embarrassment. David reaches down and pulls her up to a standing position.
Maddie is flushed, and tries to recover her decorum.
Maddie: Yes, Agnes?
Agnes: Mr. and Mrs. Kramer are here.
Maddie: Give us a moment, Agnes, then bring them in.
David: Yeah, we need some deep cleansing breaths.
Agnes grins, and exits the office.
Maddie: (sarcastically) Nice, Addison.
David gives it right back.
David: Thanks, Hayes. I liked it too.
He smoothes her hair.
David: You look very pretty with that flush in your cheeks and that twinkle in your eye.
Maddie looks him up and down.
Maddie: You’d better stay sitting for a while.
David feigns shock.
David: My goodness, Ms. Hayes…..
He is interrupted by a knock on the door. He sinks to a sitting position on the credenza behind Maddie’s desk.
Maddie: Come in.
Agnes enters the office with the Kramers. Maddie reaches out and shakes hands with both.
Maddie: I am Madolyn Hayes, and this is my partner, David Addison.
David keeps his seat on the credenza, giving them both a “nice to meet you” wave.
Maddie: How can we help you?
Matt: I am Matthew Kramer and this is my wife Lesley. We lost our only son, Dustin, about three months ago.
Maddie instinctively places her hands on her stomach.
Maddie: Oh, I am so sorry.
Matt: Thank you. It happened quite suddenly. He was 21 years old.
David: An accident of some kind?
Matt: No. He passed away in his sleep.
Lesley: He and his roommate went to the movies the night before. They had a pizza, and went to bed. We got a call the next day. Dusty never woke up.
Maddie: Oh my goodness.
David: We’re very sorry for your loss.
Lesley: Thank you. It is a tremendous loss. Dusty was our only child – our pride and joy. Everyone loved him…he was funny and smart, positive and patient. He had just started his junior year at Pepperdine.
Maddie and David remain silent, sensing the Kramers have more to say.
Matt: College was good for him – he thrived there. He was only about an hour or so away, but it was good for developing his independence. He often came home on weekends, and brought along friends who were far away from their own homes.
Maddie: He sounds like a good and caring young man.
Lesley: He was. He enjoyed so many things – baseball, soccer, music…all kinds. He considered music as a career at one point, but he decided on engineering, relating to the environment. He wanted to make a mark on the world, he said.
Her eyes fill with tears. Matt takes her hand and pats it softly.
Maddie and David exchange an agonized glance. Maddie finally speaks.
Maddie: Forgive me for asking if this is too painful, but has a cause of his death been determined?
Matt shores up his shoulders.
Matt: It is pretty much a mystery, although the doctors lean pretty much towards a problem with the heart. We gave them permission to do any tests necessary to find out what they could.
Lesley: In hopes that we could spare other families this kind of heartache.
David: That is very kind of you.
Lesley: We owed that much to our boy, Mr. Addison.
Matt: So, that gives you the background and leads us to why we’re here. During the testing, although the doctors could not find the reason for Dusty’s sudden passing, they did find something that totally threw us for a loop.
Lesley: They found out that there was no possible way that Dusty could be our biological son.
Her voice breaks a little.
Lesley: The child we had raised for 21 years was not of our blood – can you imagine how devastated we were?
David: I don’t think anyone could imagine that.
Matt: We had our attorney go back to the hospital where Dusty was born. There was only one other boy baby in the nursery during the time we were there. It appears to have been a simple mix-up.
David shakes his head angrily.
Matt: Well, remember, this was in 1972. Babies wore cute little beaded ID bracelets that slipped off and on – not quite like now when standards and security are so much different.
Lesley: I still can’t believe that I didn’t know he wasn’t my biological son. Everything about him was a perfect fit with us.
She reaches into her handbag and pulls out a photo of a handsome young man, smiling proudly in his graduation cap and gown.
Maddie: He is very handsome, and looks a lot like you.
Lesley: He does, doesn’t he?
David pauses for a moment, then plunges in.
David: You mentioned that you had an attorney involved.
Matt: We had him go to the hospital to find out the truth, and to get them to provide us with information about the other child.
Maddie: What will you do now?
David: I would say that the hospital owes you compensation for the mix-up.
Maddie shoots David a look.
Lesley: We are not looking for any compensation. In fact, we promised the hospital that we would not pursue any legal action, or look for any publicity. We just asked them to provide us with as much information as they could about the child.
David: And they agreed?
Matt laughs bitterly.
Matt: You can’t believe how quickly. I think they were relieved.
Maddie: They should have been.
Lesley: They gave us the name of our biological son: James Christopher. He was born the same day as Dustin, and left the hospital with his single mother, whose name was Maureen.
Matt: We have been agonizing over, praying over what we should do for three months now. Is it fair for us to try and find this boy, tell him what we know? We are well to do people, Miss Hayes…Mr. Addison. We could certainly provide him with some financial advantages and support.
Lesley: I think we have to try. I think it is what Dusty would want us to do. But we need your help.
Maddie: How can we help?
Matt: We would like you to find out all you can about James, his family, his life. We’d like you to try and meet him, and his mother – without them knowing why. And we would like to get your feedback on whether you think we should try to make this boy a part of our lives.
Maddie: But you hardly know us.
Matt: I have checked out your agency and found you are known to be honest and trustworthy.
Lesley: You strike me as compassionate people. It was almost a sign to me that you are waiting for a baby of your own, Miss Hayes. But I know it is a case that will hit close to home. Can you handle it….would it impact your home life…or your husband?
Maddie: When I introduced Mr. Addison as my partner, I meant in all possible ways. This is our child. If we take your case, we will work on it together.
David: Although I might be doing a little more of the leg work.
Maddie starts to comment, then stops.
Matt: So will you do it, take our case?
David: Would you give Miss Hayes and I some time to confer? Can we have our receptionist bring you some coffee?
Matt: We’re fine, thanks.
Maddie and David leave the office, Maddie with a look back at the grieving couple.
They enter the outer office which for once is blessedly, silently empty. Maddie looks at David quizzically.
David: Guess we missed coffee break.
Maddie: Totally strange. Even Agnes?
David: Agnes is in my office, expressing herself. Whatever that means.
Maddie: Expressing herself?
She realizes, and starts to laugh.
Maddie: Not expressing herself, expressing. You know, she’s breastfeeding.
David: In my office? Thanks, there’s a picture I may never get rid of.
Maddie: Too bad, it’s a necessary part of the process. Is Bert with her?
David: For all I know, Bert has dashed off to the daycare to make sure they know how to change diapers.
Maddie: Poor Bert, how is he going to get through today?
David: If it were my choice, it would involve a bottle of chloroform and a gag, just to be doubly sure of his silence.
Maddie: Back to the matter at hand….David, I feel so badly for those poor people. What are we going to do to help them?
David: Sounds like you have already decided we’re taking the case.
Maddie: I thought you suggested we come out here just because it’s what we do. Of course we are taking the case. How could we not?
David remains silent. Maddie looks at him and her eyes start to flare.
Maddie: David Addison…
David: Maddie Hayes…
Maddie: You cannot possibly tell me that you have any reasonable objection to taking this case.
David: Actually, I have several.
Maddie starts to smolder.
Maddie: Several? You’re kidding right? How could you possibly sit there and listen to their story and not want to……
David: If you’d put a leash on those rampaging hormones for one minute, and hear me out…..
Maddie’s eyes darken, and when she speaks, it is very low and serious.
Maddie: Don’t do that.
David: Don’t do what?
Maddie: Don’t make snide comments about hormones when I am the only one in this conversation reacting in the way a normal compassionate human being would react.
David: Ok..then, lets talk about compassion. What about compassion for this kid – how compassionate is it to blindside him, after 21 years with the only parent he has ever known? Not to mention the blow it will be to his mother. No, not the lady in there who gave birth to him, but the one who raised him, loved him, worried about him?
Maddie: But none of that will change.
David: You seriously believe that? How can you be so certain?
Maddie: Because I feel for the Kramers, I trust them. I am convinced that they are sincere about not wanting to blunder here…about wanting our evaluation. I really believe they want what is best for this boy.
David: I’m glad you do. It’s not as if we haven’t ever been duped before – by a variety of different characters. What if they want this kid ‘cause they’re shopping for a kidney….or bone marrow?
Maddie: That’s highly unlikely.
David: Stranger things have happened. It’s a risk. Only this time, we are gambling with the lives of this boy and his mother.
Maddie: But David, we are in control here. We get the information, we observe, and meet the woman and her son. Then we make recommendations. We can draw up a contract.
David: People make contracts every day…..almost as frequently, they break them.
Maddie will not be swayed.
Maddie: I want to do this, David. I want us to do this together. You can lay down any ground rules you would like. I don’t want you to fight me on this.
David: Then I won’t. You’re the boss.
We can almost see steam coming out of Maddie’s ears.
Maddie: Addison, when you are like this, I could just murder you.
David: Like what? Maddie, why are you so mad at me? You’re getting what you want.
Maddie: Because, speaking of scams….there is something very fishy about your whole approach on this. I know you, Addison…you are a good and compassionate man. I know you were moved by those people’s story. I know you want to help them. But you are resisting …and I want to know why.
David closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
David: I said I had several objections.
Maddie: So let’s hear them.
David: This might sound totally selfish, but I am concerned about how this case might affect us, affect you.
Maddie: Physically? Emotionally? What?
David: I watched you listening to those people, Maddie. Their story is tragic. We know how horrible losing a child is.
Maddie: All the more reason for us to help them.
David: All the more reason to be concerned. This should be the happiest time of your life, of our lives. We’re waiting for our baby, choosing names, decorating a nursery – all great things. I don’t want that joy to get swallowed up by the sorrow of these people. I don’t want the stress of solving their problem to cause any issues for you – physical, emotional, any at all! If that makes me a selfish or an uncompassionate man, then so be it.
Maddie stares at him for a moment, then leans towards him and kisses him softly.
Maddie: It doesn’t make you selfish or uncompassionate at all. It makes you the man that I love more every single day. But David, you’re wrong about something.
David: What’s that?
Maddie: Taking this case won’t make me sad. It will make me happy, make me feel like I am doing something to ease the pain of these people. And maybe, just maybe, we will find out that we can help this young man and his mother have a better life as well. I have a feeling, a strong feeling that that is going to be the case.
David smiles at her…she just used his magic word…happy!
David: Soooooo…where’s that feeling?
He places his hands on her stomach.
David: Right here?
Maddie: Exactly there.
David: Then I guess we gotta go with the gut. That makes it two against one anyway.
Maddie: Thank you, David. I promise, I am totally agreeable to any restrictions you want to set up
David: You’d better be. There are hefty penalties for noncompliance.
He leans over and kisses her, lingering a little.
Maddie: That seems more like a reward.
David: That comes later. Meanwhile…another little ditty just popped into my head. How about….I’m Henry the Eighth I am, Henry the Eighth I am, I am?
Maddie: I’m counting that as H and I.
David: I’ve been racking my brain, but I’ve got an I. Good night Irene, good night, Irene, I’ll see you in my dreams…
Maddie: Should have saved the cells. Let’s go and put together a contract for the Kramers.
They exchange smiles, and retreat back into Maddie’s office.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Act 3, Scene 1
Maddie and Agnes are working together in the seating area. Maddie is on the sofa, back against some pillows, and her feet propped up. Agnes is sitting on a chair that has been pulled close to the table. The table is holds some piles of papers and files.
Agnes: Is that better?
Maddie: Much. Did you have much trouble with lower back pain?
Agnes: Towards the end. I knew those pillows would be good. Need any more?
Maddie: No, I’m good.
David enters the room with his normal flourish. He is rumpled, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, and although he is “up”, he looks tired.
David: (singing) Hey Jude, I saw you nude….don’t try to fake it…I saw you naked….
Maddie: Oh my God, the torture returns….disguised as 5th grade humor.
David walks over to her, leans down, and kisses her softly.
David: But oh, what sweet torture. How you doing today, slim?
Maddie: I’m pregnant.
David: Alert the media. Hey Agnes, I just dropped your not-so-better half off at your house. Think he will sleep for a week.
Agnes: He’d better not. I had the 4 AM feedings for the last two nights. He is on the hook for the next couple.
David addresses Maddie:
David: And how did you sleep the last few nights without me?
Maddie: Were you gone? I didn’t notice.
David: Well, never fear, the Henderson stakeout is over…caput….finis. All that’s left is to develop the 8x10s and collect our inflated fee.
Agnes: Want some coffee, Mr. Addison?
David: No java for me, Agnes. Thanks. Just came to cop a gander at my best girl before I head home to dreamland.
Maddie: I’m so lucky.
David: So, no Jude, huh?
Maddie: Yes to John Lennon, no to Jude.
David: Here’s a little ditty ‘bout Jack and Diane …two American kids growin’ up in the heartland……
Agnes seems clearly befuddled.
Maddie: So glad we waited for the Js for a few days. Agnes, welcome to my nightmare. Mr. Addison is singing his way through the baby names alphabet.
David: And I’ve been waiting for the Js. I could sing the Js all day.
He takes a breath.
David: Go go go Johnny go…Go go Johnny go…Go go Johnny go…Go go Johnny go…Go Johnny B. Goode
Agnes: This is fun…like a concert.
David: It’s more like a sing along, Agnes. Jump right in.
A split second passes before Agnes begins belting
Agnes: Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene….
It turns into a singing contest.
David: Cantalope eyes come to me tonight, Judy in disguise….with glasses…
Agnes: Jennifer Juniper longs for what she lacks….do you like her? Yes, I do sir...would you love her? Yes, I would sir….
David: When Josie comes home, so good…she’s the pride of the neighborhood…
Agnes: Janie’s got a gun…
David: So I sing a song of love for Julia, Julia, Julia…
Agnes: Julie Julie Julie, do you love me?
David makes a buzzer sound.
David: Sorry Mrs. Viola, too close to the previous song. Besides…Bobby Sherman? Really? You blinked, babe.
Maddie holds her hands over her ears.
Maddie: Make it stop. I thought you were going home?
David: And I am. Just wanted to make sure you were doing all right with the Kramer case. That’s a K.
David: Kiss me, Kate……
Maddie ignores him…David tries again.
David: What's the story, morning glory? What's the word, hummingbird? Have you heard about Hugo and Kim?
Agnes: Ooooh…Bye Bye Birdie!
David: I have very eclectic musical tastes.
Maddie: People…the case! David, we’re doing fine. We’ve gotten lots of information. I guess the most important piece is that Maureen Christopher passed away a few years ago.
David: That’s tough. I know what it’s like losing your mom in your teens.
Maddie: And James has no other family. I think you are going to be very impressed with the information we have found out about him. I’ll catch you up later.
David: Look at that Agnes, she’s trying to get rid of me again.
He sings again.
David: And he shall be Levon, and he shall be a good man, and he shall be Levon, in tradition with the family plan.
Agnes claps her hands.
David: (exaggerated drawl) You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille…four hungry children and a crop in the field…..
David: Louie Louie, oh no…Me gotta go…Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said…Louie Louie, oh baby…Me gotta go
Maddie: You gotta go, all right.
David: Just one more. Lucy in the sky with diamonds…
Maddie: (louder) David!
David: No, wait, just one more…I promise.
He revs up.
David: I asked
her name and in a dark brown voice she said, "Lola"
L-O-L-A Lola, lo lo lo Lola…
Maddie: OK, you’re outta here. And listen, you and I are going to be going on a little undercover mission of our own.
David: Going to be going, huh? Fun or fine?
Maddie: You’ll just have to wait and see. Pack downscale.
David: Sounds kinky…….Okey dokey…I will take my leave since I am being unceremoniously chased out of here.
Maddie: You can have any ceremony you want, just go! We have work to do. Oh….and don’t go into the nursery…that’s supposed to be a surprise.
He salutes her, then kisses her goodbye. He drops a kiss on the top of Agnes’s head.
Agnes: Bye Mr. Addison.
David: Bye Agnes. And give a kiss to that little guy of yours. Not Bert. The other one. What’s his name again? Oh, I know.
David: M-I-C- see ya real soon…K-E-Y…..why, because we love you….
He is hit in the head by a pillow tossed with deadly accuracy by Maddie.
David: (singing) B-Y-E-E-E…….
He exits with a grin. Agnes giggles.
Agnes: Don’t you just love Mr. Addison? Well, of course you do.
Maddie: I do, but sometimes he gives me a headache.
Agnes: Me too…well, I mean Bert does.
Maddie: Ok. Let’s review what we have here. James Christopher is living in El Cajon, in the Shady Lane RV Park, where he lived with his mother.
Agnes: Right. From what I have been able to learn, it is a small residential RV park, with a small community feel. It is within the San Diego city limits.
Maddie: What about us getting in there?
Agnes: Well, I talked to the manager, and this is really a bit of luck…..he owns a trailer there that is vacant right now. He is willing to rent it for a few weeks.
Maddie: Well, hopefully, we won’t need it for that long, but we’d better take it while we can. Is it near to James’s home?
Agnes: That’s the great part. It is right on the same street.
Maddie: Perfect. And we have all the other information here about his schools, his employment and all the rest?
Agnes: It’s all here. I’ll put the files together so you can have them all organized to take with.
Maddie: Agnes, this is probably not the best of times to leave you and Bert to run the office. With the baby, you’ve really got your hands full.
Agnes: It’s a lot of work. But I called my mother, and for once she is not globetrotting. She’s going to come spend the rest of the week or so with us, and that will be a big help.
Maddie: That makes me feel better.
Maddie hesitates for a second…then speaks.
Maddie: Speaking of feeling better…I didn’t want to ask, but how is it leaving the baby each morning?
Agnes: Actually Miss Hayes, it has gotten a little harder each day. On Monday, it was new, and I was excited to get back to work. It still hurts a little to hand him over to somebody else. I know it’s something that hundreds of women do every single day, but it’s hard.
Maddie: I don’t mean to pry, and I would be devastated to lose you, but is staying home a possibility?
Agnes: I can’t say we didn’t consider it. But it’s wrong for us on a bunch of different levels. We just bought a house, we have a mortgage and the expenses a new baby brings.
Maddie: I know… I am cringing at the bills for the nursery.
Agnes: We have to get some kind of a financial base built up. We want Mickey to have brothers and sisters someday. But the most important reason is me. I love this job. I love you and Mr. Addison and all the people I work with. I’m not saying that someday I might not want to be a stay at home mom. I’m just saying, for me, that time is not now.
Maddie: Well, I am sure you know that anything you need, any support we can provide – we’re here for you.
Agnes: Thanks Miss Hayes…I know that. And while I am sure it might never get easy to leave Mickey every day, it will get easier. It just needs to get more routine.
Maddie: Thanks Agnes. Why do I have the feeling that you are going to be my own personal guide through birth and motherhood?
Agnes: Only ‘cause I went first. You’re gonna be great…and don’t forget, you have Mr. Addison.
Maddie: Well, he is certainly in touch with his inner child. And I mean that as a good thing. He gets along well with kids. Terri and Walter’s kids think he’s a god.
Agnes: I don’t think you have to worry at all. He’s rock steady…
Maddie: I agree. I think he tried to hide it from us …or himself…for a long time, but the secret is out.
Agnes: And you’re gonna be a great mom. You’ve got a huge heart…and you’ve gotten really good at letting it show.
Maddie: Thank you, Agnes. That is a wonderful compliment coming from you.
Agnes: Just look at this case. What we’re doing here….feels like a very maternal thing to do…to help these people find their lost son.
Maddie: It sounds like a fairy tale. I just hope we are finding the glass slipper and not opening Pandora’s box.
Agnes: I’ve got a feeling it’s all going to work out fine.
Maddie: Me too. So, are we finished here?
Agnes: I think so.
Maddie: OK, Mom, how about I treat you to lunch?
Agnes: I would love that. Let me make a phone call and check up on Mickey and I will be right with you.
Agnes walks towards the door, looking back with a smile
Agnes: And thanks to you….Mom.
Agnes exits and Maddie sits for a moment, hands on her stomach, and a smile on her face.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Act 3, Scene 2
Shady Lane RV Park
El Cajon, San Diego
David’s Corvette pulls up in front of a small trailer. The trailer does not appear neglected, more like unnoticed. It is a non-descript box of tin, with nothing to differentiate itself from most other RVs.
David jumps out of the driver’s side of the car, looks at the trailer and whistles.
David: Look at this, honey. We sure hit the jackpot this time.
He walks around to Maddie’s side of the car. She is struggling to get out. He takes her hand and pulls her up. As she rises, Miss Me sees her chance for escape and shoots out the door.
Maddie: Damned bucket seats. Miss Me, come here.
David scoops up the dog, and reaches into the back seat for her leash.
David: Settle down, beast. I’ll take you on a little adventure walk later.
He directs Maddie’s attention to the trailer.
David: Ain’t it bitchin’? Home sweet home.
Maddie: Is this down home folksy approach your attempt to get into character?
David: Too much?
Maddie: Just be yourself…or maybe yourself three or four years ago.
David: Point taken. Guess I have woken up in worse places.
David has a thought.
David: Sweet home San Diego…where our little Bunny got his or her start.
Maddie looks around.
Maddie: Not sure this is quite the same San Diego as the Hotel Del Coronado.
David (singing) I got my start in San Diego…Hey, can you use San or Diego as names?
Maddie: No. And you definitely can’t change the words to that song – pure blasphemy.
She looks back at their trailer.
Maddie: Well, this one could use a little loving care, but look over there.
Directly across the street there is an RV with a front lawn to rival South of the Border. It has every kind of lawn ornament known to man, from the lowliest pink flamingo to a large wooden posterior of a woman bending over, and giving us a peep at her panties.
David: I hope that none of that lights up, or we’ll be up all night.
Maddie: All in all, that home notwithstanding, this is much nicer than I expected. Look down that way, there are some sweet little places. And that one seems to have a very nice garden.
David: In the market to downsize, Miss Hayes?
Maddie looks back at their trailer.
Maddie: We’d better make sure I’m gonna get through the door.
David: Probably should have looked at the double wide.
Maddie smiles at him sweetly, but her voice contradicts her look.
Maddie: You could always sleep in the car.
David: I probably should. I’ll have to get up at 5 AM to make it to the office in time for that meeting.
Maddie: How could you have forgotten the annual Nakatomi Emergency Preparedness meeting?
David: Guess I wasn’t prepared. I know it’s every year on the anniversary of that big robbery plot gone wrong, but why would I remember the date? It’s not as if it changed my life or anything.
Maddie: Thankfully…but it did wake people up to some disaster management needs of the city.
David: So, I sit in rush hour traffic tomorrow, and snooze through the mandatory meeting. Sure you don’t want to come?
Maddie: I’ll be too busy making our little trailer a home…and maybe getting to know some of our neighbors.
David: Ok princess, let’s get to it. I’ll snag the luggage and you go check out the digs.
Maddie heads towards the door, and David starts to sing.
David: Michael, row the boat ashore, alleluia…..
He pulls open the trunk, reaches for the luggage, and switches gears.
David: Wake up, Maggie, I think I got something to say to you…
Maddie turns and smiles.
Maddie: I like that one.
David: This could be much more fun if you’d join in.
She screws up her face, and walks towards the door, but we hear the unmistakable tones of her voice.
Maddie: Michelle, ma belle, these are words that go together well…
David: And someone’s sneakin' ‘round the corner, Could that someone be Mack the Knife?
David enters the trailer and looks around. It is indeed a very small space. Maddie is looking into the bathroom in dismay.
Maddie: I’m not sure how I’m gonna get in here. And that’s a problem, considering how often I have to get in here.
David deposits the suitcases in the bedroom, and returns to the living area. The dog is wandering throughout the place, exploring. Maddie is seated on the loveseat. David walks to the telephone and picks it up.
David: Well, there’s a good thing. The phone works.
Maddie: Is that such a big deal?
David: Well, considering I am leaving you here tomorrow while I am in Los Angeles, I would think it is a very big priority.
Maddie: You will be gone for a few hours. I think I will be fine.
David: Of course you will. But it never hurts to think ahead. I sneaked one of those romance novels in your bag…you know, the ones you hide behind the Crime and Punishment dust cover.
Maddie: You never know, I may go all out and buy a couple of tabloids. There is a little convenience store on the entrance road. May as well get a little exercise, maybe meet a few of the neighbors.
David: There’s nothing we need to do here that can’t wait till I get back. Prowling around a strange neighborhood by yourself, especially in your condition….
Maddie: Addison, please. I’m not an idiot. I can take care of myself.
David: Of course you can. But I like taking care of you.
She reaches and pulls him down beside her.
Maddie: I like you taking care of me too….sometimes. But I’m pretty sure I don’t need a keeper.
David: Point made, Mama Mia. But the decision was – we do this together…so, we wait until the weekend, right?
David: Now where were we with those songs?
Maddie: Y, I think
David: Nice try…..I’ve got a terrible case on Nancy with the laughing face…
Maddie: Let’s move this along…Oliver, Oliver, never before has a boy wanted more…
David: Peggy Sue, Peggy Sue, pretty pretty pretty pretty Peggy Sue…
Maddie: I am not naming a child any name starting with a Q. I’ll do R…. Now my life is rosy since I found my Rosie, with a girl like Rosie, how could I be blue?
David: Rikki, don’t lose that number, you don’t wanna call nobody else….
Maddie: All I want to do when I wake up in the morning is see your eyes, Roseanna, Roseanna…
David starts to wail.
David: Roxanne…you don’t have to put on the red light…..
Maddie: Oh, there’s a sweet image for our child.
Maddie: Speaking of which, I think the two of us are going to take a nap.
David: Can I come too?
Maddie: We’d be happy to have you. But I am using the word nap in literal terms, sir.
David: Got it. Challenge number one. How are we both going to fit in that bed?
They exit to the bedroom. We hear only voices.
Maddie: David, wait a minute….let me get settled…wait, look out for the dog….this is really really small.
We hear a large crash and a yelp…followed by a moment of silence.
David: I can’t believe I fell out of bed.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Act 4, Scene 1
Friday morning, 9:30 AM
The trailer’s bedroom
Maddie rolls and stretches. Her eyes blink open and for a moment, try to focus on her unfamiliar surroundings. After a moment, she gets it, and smiles.
She reaches for her watch and remarks to herself.
Maddie: 9:30? Can’t remember the last time I slept so late on a weekday.
She pats her stomach and smiles.
Maddie: OK, little one, I’m hungry too. But first, I need to try and wedge myself into that bathroom….again. And then we need to call Milo and see how he’s doing with your nursery.
Maddie putters around, showering, dressing, doing morning things. She comes into the living room, casual in a pastel sundress, and looking quite relaxed. She heads for the phone. She dials. She chatters, pausing at proper intervals to listen.
Maddie: Milo? How are things back at Casa Hayes Addison?... You are?... You will? How wonderful!... How is the furniture?...It’s more beautiful than you imagined?... The bookcase? It sounds fantastic… By the end of today? Now I’m excited!...I can’t wait to get home…thanks, my friend. You’re a miracle worker.
She hangs up the phone.
Maddie: So little Bunny, your room is ready.
Maddie: And don’t tell your Daddy I’m calling you Bunny. That’s between us. Now let’s see what we can find to eat. C’mon, Miss Me.
She walks into the small kitchenette, and smiles. The table is set with melamine dishes with a happy daisy pattern. Her place has a cup and a chamomile teabag. There is also a bowl with a packet of Instant Quaker Oatmeal, and a note propped up against it.
Put the kettle on, Blondie. Sure you will like this better than oatmeal ala Addison.
Fruit in the fridge. I already walked the dog. Her food is on the counter.
Be back before you have a chance to miss me. Love, D.
She smiles and starts to reach for the kettle when the phone rings. She makes her way into the living room, and picks up the phone.
The picture goes to split screen: David on the car phone while he drives, Maddie seated on the sofa.
David: (singing) Sherrrrrrrry baby (Sherry baby), Sherry, can you come out tonight?
Maddie: No, this is Maddie. How can I help you?
David continues to sing.
David: It’s you and me forever….Sara smile…won’t you smile a while for me…
Maddie: if this is a prank call, I am going to hang up.
David: Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee….
Maddie: That’ll be the day.
David: Good morning, beautiful. Sleep well?
Maddie: I certainly slept close.
David: That worked for me.
Maddie: How’s your head?
David: Lumpy. How’s your oatmeal?
Maddie: The same. Are you sure you shouldn’t see a doctor?
David: No, I’m fine. In fact, it is 10:30 AM, meeting over, and I am on my way back to you.
Maddie: That’s nice. Is everything OK at the office?
David: Just fine, in fact it was deadly quiet so……
Maddie: Did you give them the day off again?
David: Half a day. It’s Friday, boss.
Maddie: Good idea. They’ve all been working hard, and it will give Agnes and Bert a little extra time with the baby.
David: Who are you and what have you done with the woman I left there this AM?
Maddie: She’s stuck in the bathroom.
They both laugh.
David: So, I should be there around 1. Just sit your pretty little posterior on that sofa, and read your trashy novel, and I’ll be there before you know it.
Maddie: (sarcastically) Yes, boss.
David starts to sing again.
David: Bah-bah-bah-bah…Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah…Tracy, when I'm with you, somethin' you do, bounces me off the ceiling…
Maddie: I’m hanging up now.
David: See you in a little bit, babe. Love you.
Maddie: Drive safe. I love you too.
Maddie hangs up the phone and heads back into the kitchenette.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Act 4, Scene 2
Friday, 12:30 PM Noon
The trailer’s living room
Maddie is clearly involved in her book. We can see the title “The Bridges of Madison County”. She lays the book on the sofa, and taking a tissue, wipes her eyes.
Maddie: (to herself) That’s not trashy, at all. It’s very touching. And that’s not the hormones talking.
She looks around the small space, feeling a little confined.
Maddie: What do you say, kiddo…another trip to the necessary room, then let’s go for a little walk.
After an appropriate interval, Maddie exits the trailer into the bright southern California sunshine. As a concession to the heat, she is wearing a baseball cap of David’s. It has seen better days. Miss Me is on her leash, prancing happily along with Maddie.
She starts on a slow meandering path around the RV park, taking in all the sights – women hanging out laundry, children playing, dogs running free.
They have been circling about for about 15 minutes when Maddie comes upon the trailer she noticed the afternoon before…the one with the beautiful garden.
There is a young man working in that garden. From her research, she realizes he is James Christopher. In person, the resemblance to Matt Kramer is amazing.
She smiles at him.
Maddie: Good morning.
James: Good morning, ma’am. How are you today?
Maddie: I’m feeling pretty good.
She fans herself a little.
Maddie: My, it’s really a little warm today, isn’t it?
James: Please, come sit down. Let me get you something cool to drink.
Maddie: Don’t trouble yourself.
James: It’s no trouble really…and you look like you needs to sit a minute. Please, sit here.
He leads her to a small garden table with chairs. He makes sure she is sitting, and goes into the trailer.
James: I’ll be right back.
Maddie sits, gratefully. She hadn’t realized how tired she was getting. James comes out from the trailer with a tray with two glasses, and a small bowl of water.
James: Thought if we were getting a break, your dog could use one as well.
He ruffles the dog’s fur, and places the bowl on the ground. She drinks greedily.
James: You can hook her leash to that trellis if she will run.
Maddie: No, she won’t go away. She’s not a big wanderer. We lived in the city, so she stayed pretty close to home.
James: That’s good. Can I offer you iced tea?
Maddie: It looks delicious. I’m Maddie, by the way.
She extends her hand and James shakes it. Maddie looks carefully to see if he recognizes her, then almost laughs when she realizes that, at the height of her career, he would have been a toddler.
James: I’m James. Hope you like the iced tea. It’s my mother’s special recipe.
Maddie: It’s delicious.
James: It’s iced tea mixed with lemonade. I always told her we should find a way to sell it.
Maddie: You should have done it, but I think Arnold got there first. I bet it would have made her a millionaire.
James: Honestly, Mom wouldn’t have made a good millionaire. She was too simple.
Maddie: I’m sorry…wouldn’t have?
James: She passed away a few years ago after an illness.
Maddie: I’m so sorry. You must have been very young.
James: I was 18 when she died. She got sick when I was 15. Heart problems.
Maddie: So sad for your family.
James: No family, just she and I.
Maddie: Oh, that’s terrible. How do you get along?
Maddie stops for a moment.
Maddie: Excuse me if I am prying. I am just naturally curious. My….my David always says I don’t know when to shut up.
James: It’s fine. It’s nice to have somebody to talk with. If you don’t mind.
Maddie: Of course not.
James: My mom was a great lady. It was always just she and I….I never knew my father. She worked as a payroll clerk in a small office, and she worked hard to take care of us.
Maddie: It was tough?
James: We didn’t have much money. That’s how we ended up here. Buying the trailer, and spending just a small fee each month on the rent was about all she could manage. But she searched and searched for the right kind of place before we moved in here. She was concerned about “those kind” of trailer parks.
Maddie: Well, we just got here yesterday, but this one seems pretty nice.
James: It really is. Everybody is really nice, and they sure helped me after Mom passed away. And the whole place is really well kept. They let us have gardens and all too.
Maddie: Your garden is beautiful.
James: Thanks. Everything I know about gardening, I learned from my Mom. I’d better get back to it. But I would love you to sit here and talk with me while I work.
Maddie: You are sure you don’t mind?
James: It would be great.
Maddie: So tell me more about you.
James: There’s not much to tell. After we moved here, I did what I could to help. I got a paper route, did odd jobs. When Mom got sick, her employer was very good. He let her work when she could, and still paid her full salary, even when she was in the hospital.
Maddie: That was kind. It must have been hard for you, taking care of things and keeping up with your studies.
James: I did ok in school, but it wasn’t the most important thing to me. I could have done better.
He walks over to Maddie, a bunch of fresh cut flowers in his hand.
James: These are for you. Welcome to the neighborhood.
Maddie: Thank you, James. That is very sweet.
All at once Miss Me starts barking excitedly. Maddie looks up to see David striding towards her. He does not look pleased.
Maddie: David…..you made good time.
David: I thought you were going to stay in this morning.
Maddie: I started to get trailer fever, so I decided to take a walk.
David: You’re ok? Not too hot?
Maddie: I’m fine. David, this is our neighbor, James. He’s been very kind.
James: Nice to meet you. Can I get you some iced tea?
David: No thanks, I’m good.
Maddie: You should try it, David. It’s delicious.
David: Maybe later.
The dog is still running around in circles. David leans over her.
David: Ok, pup. Calm down. Wouldn’t you like to go snooze in the shade?
He use the time to sneak a glance at Maddie. He is trying to determine what approach she is using, so he can follow her lead.
Maddie: James was just telling me about himself. He lost his mother as a teenager.
David: Tough break, kid. I did too.
James: Yeah, it was tough. But I’m doing ok.
David: No family?
James: No. I never knew my father. My Mom tried to get in touch with him once, after I had bugged her one too many times for information, but he told her he wasn’t interested.
David: Nice guy.
James gets a little defensive.
James: Who needs him, right? I guess I envied kids with dads, but who wants a person who doesn’t want you? My Mom and I did all right, just the two of us.
David: So, do you work, James?
James: I work fulltime at a lawn and garden center. It’s not bad work. It pays the bills, and I can put a little aside every week. Someday, I’d like to go back to school.
Maddie: That’s great. What did you want to study?
James: I’d like to study horticulture. I love reading about plants and flowers. I’d love to design gardens. Maybe do some work with irrigation and producing foodstuffs for the underpriviledged. I really like all the possibilities.
David: There must be some opportunities for scholarships.
James: Well, because my mother was sick, school was not my first priority. My grades were just ok. It’s all right. I’ll get there. I just might just be the oldest college student known to man by the time I do.
Maddie: I doubt that. James, I’m gonna be a little bit nosier. Do you have a girlfriend?
James: Nobody serious, but I just met a girl who works part time at the garden center. She makes me sweat.
David: That’s a good sign….this one makes me sweat all the time.
James: I’d like to ask a question. When is your baby due?
Maddie: Late November.
James: Boy or girl?
Maddie: We decided to wait to find out.
David: Dig her…….we!
James: Well, I hope someday to have a great big family. That is the one thing in my life I feel like I have missed. I wouldn’t ever give up the life I had with my Mom, but I guess I appreciate more now, how important it is to belong to a family.
He looks at his watch.
James: Holy cow, I didn’t realize it was so late. I am working a late shift at the garden center. I ‘ve got to run, but please sit there, enjoy your iced tea.
Maddie: It’s been a real pleasure meeting you, James. I have a feeling all your wishes will come true sooner than you think.
David shoots her a look. He extends his hand to James.
David: Nice to meet you. Hang tough.
James: See you soon.
He dashes into the trailer, grabs car keys, and jumps into a delapidated VW bug that is parked around the side. It chokes a couple of times then starts. James waves and pulls away down the street.
Maddie: Oh David, I love that kid.
David: He certainly seems like a good kid. Something you didn’t know before you meandered over here…..despite the fact that you promised me you wouldn’t do this on your own.
Maddie: I didn’t plan it that way. Honestly. I just got stir crazy and decided to take the dog for a walk. He saw me walking by, I said hello, and the rest just developed.
David: Let’s see – serial killer serves beautiful pregnant woman poisoned iced tea – news at eleven!
Maddie: Enough already. I’m fine, and my instincts didn’t take a flying leap just because I am pregnant. I love that you are concerned. But you have to trust me. You’re not the only one that wants us to have a good healthy baby.
David: That’s not all…I want a good healthy you to torture me for the rest of my days.
Maddie: That’s a promise I will be happy to keep.
She leans over and kisses him.
Maddie: Welcome home.
David: Tin can, sweet tin can.
Maddie: I have a suggestion about that. I honestly don’t think we need to stay here any longer.
Maddie: I think we have seen what we needed to see. We’ve met James, and gotten a feel for what he is like. All the other information we need to make our decision is in our research.
David: in other words, you’ve pretty much made your decision.
Maddie: I think so. How about you?
David: I’d like to see the kid get a break.
Maddie: I knew we would see eye to eye on this.
David: I love smart and sexy women. So what do you say…we get to spend tonight in our own bed? Is the banging finished?
David: The nursery…is it all done?
Maddie: Oh…..yes, I talked to Milo this morning. It’s in move-in condition.
David addresses her stomach.
David: Don’t you listen to her, Bunny. No moving in quite yet. You stay put in your current condo till at least Thanksgiving.
Maddie: I think he or she is quite content in there.
David: He or she.
Maddie: Right. Now, are you sure you don’t mind turning around and driving another three hours? I’m not sure I can fit behind the wheel in that car of yours.
David: I’m fine if it gets us home tonight.
Maddie: Well, let’s go get ready.
She takes the dog’s leash, her flowers, and David’s hand. They start to walk down the street.
Maddie: One more thing. Are we about finished with this names operetta?
David: We’re down to the tough ones…I got nuttin' for U,W X,Y, or Z.
Maddie: Which leaves?
David: (singing) They call her Valleri, I love my Valleri…
Maddie: That about it?
David: Just one more. Hey Venus, oh Venus…make my dreams come true…
Maddie: Well, that’s a nice song to end it on.
David: So can we narrow it down to the finalists?
Maddie: We’ll talk about it in the car…on the ride.
David: Good idea.
Maddie: One condition.
David: You always have one condition.
Maddie: NO singing!
They walk down the road, hand in hand as we…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The Hayes Addison residence
Saturday, 8 PM
Maddie open the front door, and David enters behind her, laden with suitcases.
David: Should I take these right to the laundry room?
Maddie: That’s fine.
She holds up the flowers.
Maddie: Could you put these in some water? And wait, make sure you get my book out of the suitcase.
David: You plan on reading tonight?
Maddie: Maybe. What, did you have something planned?
David: After 10 hours in the car today, I was seriously considering sleeping.
David walks to the kitchen. After a few moments, he returns with the flowers and the book. He places both on the chest.
Maddie: I was thinking, look how effective these last three hours….
Maddie: If you are counting the bathroom breaks, you are just plain mean.
David: Four hours door to door, no matter how you cut it.
Maddie: OK. Well, we have total agreement on what we want to tell the Kramers, right.
David: I’m amazed that it is so simple, but yes. We will work as the go betweens, introduce James to the Kramers, and help to break the news…right?
Maddie: You’re right on the money, honey.
David: Cute…you’re doing me?
Maddie: Not tonight I’m not.
David: Miss Hayes, I am appalled!
Maddie: Get over it. It is too late to call the Kramers tonight. I think we should take the weekend, and contact them on Monday.
David: Sounds like a plan.
Maddie: And accomplishment number two. Unless I am mistaken, after several hours of arguing, cajoling and haranguing, we have chosen the names for the baby -- boy or girl.
David: Are you absolutely sure?
Maddie: I am. Are you?
David: Think it’s a done deal, Goldilocks. I don’t know about you, but I am ready to call it a night.
Maddie: 8 PM. We really have turned into the fun crowd, haven’t we?
David: Hey, it’s only an hour earlier than you used to turn in, and at least you’re not alone.
She pushes him.
Maddie: I am so lucky you rescued me from my former humdrum existence.
She looks at him slyly.
Maddie: No kidding, I really am. Even though I still like going to bed at 9. But not alone.
David does a Groucho imitation.
David: The feeling is most mutual, my dear.
They smile at each other.
Maddie: So, you ready to see the nursery?
David: Lead on, McHayes.
Arms around waists, they support each other up the stairs. Maddie leads them towards the master bedroom.
David: Why are we going in here?
Maddie: Because Milo had them put in a connecting door so that we could go into the nursery directly from here.
David: Good idea.
Maddie opens the door, and just stands in the doorway, David behind her.
Maddie: Oh my.
The nursery is painted a creamy white, with pastel yellow and green accents. The furniture is white, handpainted with Beatrix Potter characters, most notably her bunnies. The carpet is creamy yellow, and there are a few scatter rugs of the characters. The wall over the crib has pastel alphabet letters and some framed Potter prints. The bedding and the window treatments are white fabric imprinted with the Beatrix Potter bunnies. The opposite wall has a huge painted mural of all the Beatrix Potter characters, painted in the same pastel shades.
Maddie and David walk into the room.
Maddie: It is so much prettier than I had imagined.
David: Bunnies, bunnies and more bunnies.
Maddie: I thought it was poetic.
David: It’s great. You did a great job, honey.
He looks around a bit more.
David: Dig that crazy bookcase.
The only piece of furniture not painted with characters is a floor to ceiling bookcase, that looks like it could be right out of Alice in Wonderland, it is painted white, and the shelves are all slanted this way and that, horizontally and vertically, creating irregularly sized cubbyholes.
Maddie: That is a surprise for me. Milo found that himself. What a great place for a child to hide treasures.
David: There are a few treasures in there already.
They walk to the bookcase. Several of the cubbies are already occupied, by a purple and white bunny, a pink bunny and a white duck, which had previously occupied places on Maddie’s dresser.
David picks up the pink bunny.
David: Hello, old friends.
He looks at Maddie.
David: It’s starting to feel real. Just two more months.
Maddie repeats his words solemnly.
Maddie: Two more months.
She looks around the room again, a little teary eyed.
Maddie: I am so pleased. Look at the little stepstool. That’s for when the crib turns into a toddler bed. And look at…
David takes her face in his hands, and kisses her tears away.
David: It’s perfect. We can dissect every practical little detail tomorrow. For right now, let’s go to sleep, appreciating the fantasy world you have created for little…….
David: Don’t what?
Maddie: Don’t say the names.
David: But why?
She nods her head at the camera and speaks in a lower tone.
Maddie: We’re not gonna tell them yet.
David: We’re not?
Maddie: (emphatically) We’re not…they’ll have to wait.
David addresses the camera.
David: Sorry…like she said…you’ll have to wait.
Maddie: Let’s go to bed.
David: That’s always been one of my favorite ways to end an episode.
He winks at the camera, then walks away singing.
David: Maddie, Maddie bo baddie, banana fana fo faddie, me my mo addie…Maddie…
….The name game…..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The music part of this episode was really fun to do. I think we’ve got some great songs…that would make a great CD (hint, hint). Here's the list of the songs, artists, and years released. Thanks to them for letting me (and David) borrow them.
To Wikipedia and Google. I couldn't tell you how often I clicked on these for research, and for help keeping me honest about the chronology. 1993 – it was a very good year.
To everybody who reads, and hopefully enjoys. Your comments and enthusiasm make me truly grateful. Hope we are making you happy with David and Maddie’s most important pursuit.
(Pssst…I tried to include you all in “The Name Game”)
To Glenn, Cybill and Bruce – my own personal holy trinity. Forever grateful that you do what you do….and did what you did. Bless you!
To Jen and Connie – you are a constant source of inspiration and strength. Thanks for all your input (I don’t know nuttin’ bout birthin’ no babies….) You both always know the right thing to say to keep me on track. And you both love baseball…damn, you’re just about perfect!
To Lizzie – words don’t suffice. Always there with exactly what I need. Always anticipating , and doing all the right things. Thanks for putting up with me for so long. Your kindness and your talent are always an inspiration to me. Thanks, my friend.