When Cowgirls Collide

The scene is Blue Moon Investigations outer office, a Monday morning in early January, 7:00 AM. The office is quiet and dark; no one is in yet, not even Agnes. Soft morning light is filtering through the blinds. Maddie unlocks the door and walks in. She stops at the front desk to pick up the mail, spies a leftover noisemaker sitting next to the phone, and smiles as she thinks of David and their New Year's Eve together as we dissolve…

They are dancing slowly in front of the fireplace at their mountain hideaway to Tina Turner's version of Let's Stay together. The dancing isn't really dancing. It is just the two of them holding each other, slowly rocking back and forth. David is softly singing in Maddie's ear.

David: I'm stunned. The queen of control, Madelyn Hayes can't keep a resolution? Well, I can. And I say we resolve to…stay together. No fights. Bantering is fine. Arguing is okay. After all, it's what we do best. But no knock down drag outs, no brawls in malls, no barrages in garages.

Maddie: But what if it's Motown calling to finally offer you that contract? Hello…(looks pointedly at David) Annie! (cooly) How nice of you to call. But it's close to 3 AM in Connecticut……Vegas? With Mark?……Me? I decided to keep my New Year's celebration a little low-key this year……David…Yes, Addison…It's a long story…No, I don't think that's a very good idea. It sounds like the two of you are on a second honeymoon……(quietly) Yes, I guess I've missed you too…All right, I promise I'll think about it…You too. Thanks for calling, Annie.

David: No more champagne for you. Maddie think about it. You and me and Annie and her loser-I mean husband-on a vacation together? Are you nuts? Do I have to give you a history lesson? Have you forgotten last Christmas?

After Agnes is out the door, Maddie hears a faint noise behind David's office door. She decides to investigate. She walks up to the door and listens. She opens the door slightly and sees David sitting on his couch, animatedly talking to the television.

Maddie (standing in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest): I don't know which one is worse: Cartoon network or Gameshow network. Honestly David, can you explain to me why you love watching reruns of Let's Make a Deal?

David: Maddie, Maddie, Maddie. You obviously have never discerned the finer points of Monty Hall's strategy to get these people to choose exactly the door that's going to get them zonked every time. The man is a genius! Not to mention a pretty snappy dresser.

David : I was doing my job, Ms. Hayes. Being responsible. Mr. Simmons and his friends had an all night poker game. I kept the surveillance equipment on hoping I'd get something about the case, but he never mentioned it.

Maddie: Do you really think our relationship is that tenuous? You think reconciling with Annie will put an end to you and me? I thought we'd put all that debris behind us. I wish you'd reconsider and come with me. Las Vegas isn't really my kind of town.

David: Sounds great. You, me, Mark and Typhoid Annie. Not exactly the Rat Pack. Not even the Brat Pack. I'll pass. I'd rather listen to Bert wax poetic about his palm pilot all week. Besides, it wouldn't be responsible of me to leave here with this case hanging over our heads now, would it?

David: Maddie, it's only the roller coaster at the Stratosphere. I'll have Agnes call the airline, book another ticket and put us on a later flight so I can pack a few things. Do you think we can get her to look after the pooch…

Maddie: I don't think so. Besides, I know Annie pretty well. She's not as vindictive as you seem to think. She said she has a surprise for me and she sounded very excited and happy when she called on New Year's Eve.

Maddie: You! She comes to LA for an innocent visit with her cousin and winds up getting broadsided by the David Addison Seduction Brigade. I think you really hurt her. And I think that goes a long way in explaining why she acted the way she did last Christmas.

David: Hey, wait a minute. What road is this, Alzheimer's Lane? What's with the "poor Annie" crap? She's a big girl. She's capable of making her own decisions. Besides, she was the one that was married, not me. I hurt her? I think I was just a convenient excuse for her to step out on her husband and end her marriage.

David: When you talk about Annie and commitment in the same sentence all I can picture is her in a strait jacket. Why are you sticking up for her Maddie? You should have heard some of the things she said before she left me.

David: Not all of them. I had a circuit. San Diego to Tijuana to… where was that place again? (Perking up) Then there was that one little jaunt down to Buenos Aires that could have been a lost weekend except the big blonde I was with wouldn't play.

Maddie and David give each other a warning glance, sit back in their seats and turn around, taking deep breaths and gearing up to greet the Charnocks. They see Annie standing alone, her arms crossed over her chest, a frown on her face. Mark comes up behind her, wraps an arm around her midriff and her expression changes instantly into a smile.

Annie: Look, the last time I saw you two I got drunk and stupid. I'm not going to let that happen again. David, you need to know that I'm very happy in my marriage and I'm not going to jeopardize it. And I won't let you jeopardize it either.

Annie: He's seen how you and I used to be and how we've been ever since that visit two years ago. If I had told him I didn't want to see you then he'd know for sure that something was wrong between you and me. And that would start another fight…

David: You know I didn't get any sleep last night. I think if it's all the same to you, I'll go up to the room and take a nap. (Maddie looks at him with an expression of shock on her face.) Maybe Mark and I can get filthy drunk, go gambling and pick up some hookers later on. Okay with you, Mark?

Mark: We're celebrating! (He looks down at Annie, who is staring down at the table.) Do you want to tell them or do you want me to? (Annie lifts her hand to Mark.) We're pregnant! Sorry, honey bun, no champagne for you.

Maddie: I don't need you to tell me how David is. I know him much better than you ever will. And I think that fact is very upsetting to you, even though you have a husband who, for some unknown reason, loves you and wants to make a life with you. You better think about that, Annie. AND GROW UP!

The Scene: Maddie and David's hotel suite. Maddie unlocks the door with her keycard and quietly opens the door. David lies asleep on the king size bed on top of the opulent bedspread. She approaches him and looks down at him while he snores. She looks at his open mouth with a little trail of drool puddling on the pillow under his head. An uncontrollable warmth overcomes her, and she's disarmed by her feelings for him. Her own words from New Year's Eve ring in her ears:

She continues to look down at him for awhile, thinking about the bombshell that Annie has just dropped on her. She and David have both been through so much to get to this point together. And he's lived through two pregnancies that ended in tragedy. He needs to know that it's possible there was a third. Maybe there's a problem… Maybe he needs to be tested… He needs to be told. But not now. This trip has been disastrous enough without adding to it. Who cares about the damn New Year's resolution? But she can't stay here either, pretending that nothing is wrong.

David: Hey, you know Mark and I sat at the bar and talked for awhile after you left. He's a pretty nice guy. He and Annie seem happy about this kid. Hey, Maddie. Did you hear me? I'm starting to think this trip wasn't such a bad idea after all. If we could just get Annie to shut up. Hey, how `bout we ditch her. Maddie? Why are you hiding out in the bathroom? What's the matter?

Mark: Annie may be a little troubled and impulsive but I've loved her for a long time. I know her. She's run off before, like when she went to LA. I guess I'm paranoid when it comes to my wife, but you have to admit, I have reason to be.

The Scene: The Charnock's hotel room, two hours later. Mark is lying on the bed. Maddie is standing beside the window looking at the street below and David is next to her at the table, drumming his fingers impatiently on the tabletop.

Mark: The last two years have been pretty hard for Annie. After she met that guy in LA… even though she came back to me, that affair has always been between us. And if I try to talk to her about it, or suggest counseling she clams up and walks away. She's tried to push it all away, but you know what happens if you don't really deal with something.

David: Bert, Bert, the geek-free version please…What's a fire wall?…Uh huh…Bert...does this involve hacking?…Okay, give it a shot, Mr. Viola, but if the FBI shows up at the office, I disavow all knowledge of it.

David: When I think about what we could be doing right now: riding roller coasters, seeing Tina live in concert. And do I even need to mention what we could be doing to each other right now? But no, here we are in the boonies tracking down little loony Annie.

Maddie: Thank you for the travel log of Tonopah, David. Where do you think we should start looking for her? I don't see any cars on the street that look like her rental car. I'm at a loss as to where we should go from here.

The Scene: A room at the Sugar Pine Inn. Which is basically a queen-sized bed, a TV set, and bathroom along with the built in scent of disinfectant. David and Maddie enter their room and drop their suitcases on the floor.

The Scene: The next morning, someone is banging on the motel room door at seven o'clock. David looks over at the alarm clock, groans and stumbles out of bed to open up, his hair still a mess from the night. He appears at the door in his t-shirt and boxers, one sock on, one sock off.

Maddie: One thing about the boonies. The air is clean and the sky is so blue-What? We're not going home. I have a feeling we're going to be very successful today, David. You should have gotten up and come with me. Sounds like you could use a little attitude adjustment yourself. And this is the best time of day to exercise.

The Scene: Irene's Diner, the same morning. The diner is busy and bright, with green formica counters, green plastic booths lining the walls and checked curtains in the windows. Very fifties. Music is coming from somewhere. Country music, of course.

David: That's because this road trip is going to be a total waste of time. Come on Maddie, what would Annie be doing in a town like this? Mark must have misunderstood her. After breakfast, let's check out of here and get back to civilization.

David (smiling broadly): Not until after that first sip of coffee. And you serve a mighty fine cup of coffee here. In fact, I'm feeling downright talkative now. So what's the specialty of the house? How good are the waffles? How old are you anyway?

Maddie: Minute and a half. Yeah, right, David. Get serious. Annie must be here. But maybe we've just seen why she doesn't want to be found. I think we should follow Jenny when she leaves here. She could lead us right to Annie.

David: Boy you're loving this, aren't you. And who's Jenny? And what's the point of following her? What are you going to say if we do find Annie? That you found out her little family secret? Man, I thought my family was dysfunctional.

David: Uh huh. I'm sure the upstanding Hayes family would have understood. And probably made a martyr out of her. Set her up as an example of what not to do with your life. Just like you were the perfect example of what to do.

David: I guess I'm just seeing her from a different perspective. Maybe she has her reasons for being crazy. As someone who's been knocked down by the shine off that halo once or twice myself I can relate to why she'd want to keep something like this a secret.

The Scene: The interior of the Gold Hill Ranch. It is a dark, smoke-filled bar with pictures of nude women lining the red wallpapered walls. A few scantilly clad young women stand around a couple of truckers. A heavily made-up older woman is behind the bar leafing through a magazine. David and Maddie approach her.

The Scene: Back in Tonopah, around dusk. The Little Ale'Inn Bar. The neon sign on the outside buzzes incessantly and works only sporadically. The interior is dark and empty of customers. The present bartender is watching The X-Files on a portable TV while he polishes glasses. The jukebox in the corner is blasting out -what else- country music.

David: See? All these songs have a truck in there somewhere. What are we doing here, Maddie? You had that interesting conversation with Miss Kitty. It's like I thought. Annie's fine; This is her private business and she just doesn't want to talk to us. Let's call Mark, let him know we found her-

David: You need? What you need is to be the hero, excuse me, heroine, find Annie and show her how magnanimous and understanding and superior you are and bring her back to her husband. Maddie, I think it's pretty obvious she just wants you to butt out.

David: Hey don't knock it Blondie. The beer's cold, and I reckon you are the only former super model-slash-lady detective in the joint. And if you play your cards right, you may get to take home the best looking hombre in here.

She smiles slyly at him. He grabs her hand and tugs her out onto the dance floor as a slow song comes on the juke box. He pulls her forward gently, but firmly, until they are standing toe to toe. He curves his arm around her waist, and raises her arm to his shoulder.

Maddie doesn't respond with a snide comeback. Her only response is a sultry look deep into his eyes that he returns with a burning gaze of his own. He draws her closer. He feels the imprint of her hand at the base of his neck. They are so close that he feels her heart beating and her warm breath mingling with his own. She watches his adams apple rise up and down as he swallows hard, then she closes her eyes, sighs and puts her head on his shoulder.

Maddie gets up, but instead of the restroom door, she heads into the kitchen. Once in there, she looks around. She spots Jenny on the phone in the corner. She has her back to Maddie. As Maddie gets closer to her, the girl turns around and sees her. She drops the phone and runs out the back door.

She runs after her. David hears her yelling and follows her out the back door. Maddie and Jenny are way ahead of him. Jenny is fumbling with her car keys, but realizing Maddie is too close, she stops trying to open her door and begins to run down the street.

Jenny runs into the street, which is also the highway, from between two parked cars and is narrowly missed by a semi truck. The trucker lays on his horn, startling Maddie, who plasters herself against the parked car to avoid being hit herself. As soon as the trailer is out of the way, she darts into the street and winds up on the hood of a small car going the opposite direction.

David: No, you could have a concussion, or a broken…fingernail or something. Make me happy and go get an x-ray. And you (pointing at Jenny), I've had about enough of this. I'm done pussy footin' around this town. You tell Annie this town ain't big enough for the both of us. Tell her to meet me in the Little Ale'Inn Bar. At high noon.

Annie: A long time ago, my father had an affair with Loretta. It almost ended my parent's marriage when my mother found out there was a child…Jenny. I used to hear them fighting about it when they didn't know I was around. Then I guess it just got swept under the rug. They stopped fighting, took a second honeymoon to Europe and that was the last I ever heard about it. My home life was always very civilized from then on. Their marriage became very…quiet. God, I couldn't wait to go away to college. But I always knew I had a sister. My father never attempted to contact her, never supported her. I felt so ashamed that I never tried to see her even though I knew where she lived. When Mark and I came to Las Vegas I knew she was only a few hours away, but I still couldn't get up the nerve to talk to her. Until Maddie reminded me (she rubs her cheek) in no uncertain terms that I'm going to be a mother and I have some things I need to face. My cousin's really something, isn't she? (She starts to look like she might cry.) I wish I hadn't messed up our relationship so badly.

Annie: I'm going to have to tell Mark about you and me. I really do love him, David, but I can't continue in this marriage with the ghost of you between us. I don't want to wind up like my parents. I know it means he may leave me and the baby but I need to tell him anyway.

Annie: I told Mark I'd be back. I didn't know he'd get so freaked out and get you two involved. I'm sorry, Maddie. About everything. But when I saw you and David together in that bar…It's not like I still want him…

David: I mean, that was the other Annie. Look around, this must be a parallel universe. The three of us are sitting in a bar, having drinks, talking quietly. I couldn't be sitting in a bar with Maddie and that other Annie. One of us would be getting murdered about now.

The Scene: A few nights later, back in LA. Maddie and David are curled up on the sectional in David's living room. He is watching the NFL playoffs. She is reading Vogue. He jumps up and starts yelling at the TV, startling and annoying her.

Okay, David and country music is a stretch, a long stretch, but I just wanted to have a little fun with him. I also have a few disclaimers. The Little Ale'Inn actually exists, but it's in Ruth, Nevada, not in Tonopah. And Tonopah's really not that bad. I know-I spent a week there one night.