Virtual Moonlighting     |   home
Sixth Season   |    Seventh Season   |    Eighth Season   |    Ninth Season   |    Tenth Season   |    About the Authors   |    Contact Us





Maddie sits at her desk pounding away on an adding machine. The roll of paper stretches across the end of her desk and trails to the floor. Smiling, she gives the machine one last punch; it clicks and whirrs…whirrs and clicks…Her eyes grow big… and then it quiets. She snatches the paper trail--anxious to see the result of her overtime endeavors.


Maddie: (pulling the paper rope up impatiently) Ugh! Where is the end to this thing?


 A huge sigh escapes and her brow furrows.


Maddie: (standing) What? This can’t be possible. I could have sworn—


She gasps again as a hand goes to her very large belly.


Maddie: Whoa! Okay little one I get it…


Stretching and rubbing her lower back, she walks around to the large window in her office where we can see the lights of L.A. just beginning to flicker.


Maddie: No extra stress, no extra excitement…Are you sure you’re your father’s baby?


She tries to look down at her feet.


Maddie: Well, I can’t see them, but how about no swollen feet or ankles?


She rubs one side of her tummy.


Maddie: I know, I know, it’s time to eat. That, you can be sure my little honey bunny, I’m going to take care of. Let’s go home.


She grabs her shoes she had long ago tossed into a chair and squeezes her swollen toes into them. Her face reflects a touch of sadness…or maybe just a touch of the baby blues.


Maddie: As much as I don’t want to, I think I’m going to have to buy a larger sized shoe.


She slowly picks up her purse and turning the lamp off on her desk, she turns to leave. The reception area is dark except for one lone lamp. Agnes, Bert and the rest of the employees have gone for the evening.


Maddie: (under her breath) I feel like a hippo that’s stuck in the mud…wonder if I could get away with wearing sneakers a la DiPesto the next month or so?


Picking up a few pink message slips that Agnes has left in her incoming calls stand, she flips through them quickly. Voices coming from David’s office make her stop. She approaches his door and listens, her hand on the doorknob.


David: I’m certain, Ms. Landford, that—


Woman: Please, we’ve known each other two months now… Surely we’ve made it to a first name basis by now…Dave.


She hears David laugh nervously and slowly opens the door to find them both sitting on the leather sofa, the woman scooting seductively closer to him and running a thumb across one sideburn and ear.


Maddie stands frozen. A sudden urge to run comes over her as her heart begins to thump, but she can’t seem to move; her swollen feet won’t budge. A slight smile crosses David’s face and Maddie catches a glimmer in his eye.


David: Well…Abigail…


The woman leans in closer, her silky blouse and tight black skirt revealing places on her body long lost to Maddie’s months ago.


David: As I was saying…I’m certain Blue Moon can help. We just need a little more time to sort out some of the surveillance nights we’ve been covering. I just don’t want Maddie to see or know what we’ve been doing….I’m sure you can understand…


The woman smiles and slides closer to David, now almost on top of him. David swallows hard and let’s out a little moan. His hands, as if instinctively, go to her hips.


Woman: Oh, I can understand.


She’s a breath away from his lips.


Woman: And even appreciate it, David. And I’m sure you will be appreciative as well…eventually.


The woman engulfs David’s lips with her own and----------------------




Maddie suddenly rises…as suddenly as she can… to one elbow, her breath rapid, but shallow. She throws the bedcovers off of her and works to sit on the side of the bed. Her hair is tousled and a prickling sweat begins to cover her face and neck. The Hayes-Addison bedroom is dark. Moon shadows dance softly across the bed as she turns to check on David, hoping she didn’t wake him… again.


He’s stretched out on his back with what looks like one leg on top of a blanket and the other underneath. A little snore escapes as she watches him, her pulse and breath returning to almost normal. She runs a hand through her hair and rubs her eyes, as if to erase the picture in her head from moments before.


Easing herself up, she grabs her robe, checks David for signs of life again, and quietly goes downstairs. She passes a Parent magazine on the den coffee table, stops a moment to pick it up and goes to the kitchen in search of a cool drink.


Leaning on the balcony railing at the top of the stairs is David. A concerned, yet puzzled look crosses his face, debating on whether to follow.


~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~


Act I


Scene I

Parking garage

Later that morning


Maddie waddles her way through the Century City Plaza parking garage.  As she reaches to push the elevator button, she’s thankful that she’s missed the eight to five masses that usually wait to catch the elevator each morning, but silently chastises David for not waking her after he showered.


A thirtyish-looking woman dressed in a form-fitting suit and carrying a briefcase approaches the elevator just as the doors open.  Stepping into the elevator, she smiles at Maddie, giving her the once over, lingering on her belly. Maddie does the same, but for different reasons.



Woman: Wow! You must be due any day now!


The doors close and then jerk open again, as a young man and woman race inside. They laugh and have eyes only for each other. The man puts his arm around her and pulls her close, as if sharing little secrets. The doors close.


Woman: Really…you can’t possibly have any longer than a week, two tops! Are you having twins?


Maddie: (sighs) No…no…I’ve still got a couple more months to go…and just one.


Woman: You’re kidding me. How will you ever last that long with such a load to carry?


Maddie tries to smile and then concentrates on the floor numbers, hoping for a quick escape. The couple is now standing face-to-face, making oogly eyes at each other, whispering and giggling. The elevator stops on the fifth floor and the doors open. An elderly woman steps inside. She smiles at the young couple, not in the least embarrassed by their public display of affection. Looking to the other side, she sees Maddie over her thick-rimmed glasses and her smile grows wider.


Elder Woman: My, my, what a bun in the oven you’re carrying there!


Maddie smiles respectfully, but really just wants to get to the twentieth floor and get the hell out of there. She eyes the floor lights at the top of the elevator, willing the car to go faster.


The older woman looks down at Maddie’s ankles and feet.


Elder Woman: Oh my…you should really get off of your feet. I did the same thing with all ten of my children. No matter what I did I had to abandon all of my favorite shoes until after childbirth.


Maddie smiles sheepishly. The other woman turns to look at Maddie’s feet. Even the young couple is pulled from each other long enough to examine Maddie’s ankles. The elevator stops on the eleventh floor. The younger woman in the suit steps off. She smiles again at Maddie glancing again at her mid-section and feet, and running into a little boy and his mother.


Little Boy: (his eyes level with Maddie’s tummy) WHOA! What’s in there?


Mother: Sh, Jack, that’s not very nice! I’m so sorry!


Maddie: (mustering up a smile for the little boy) That’s okay.


She looks down at Jack.


Maddie:  Kind of makes me go “Whoa” too sometimes.


Now the couple is kissing.


Little Boy: (seeing the couple) EW! Hey mister? That’s a good way to get cooties, if you know what I mean!


The couple pulls apart, look at the little boy, smile, and then carry on…


Mother: Jack! Please! Let’s be nice. We don’t even know these people!


Maddie smiles again… this time a real smile. The little guy reminds her of someone. She puts a hand on top of her tummy. The little boy becomes more curious.


Little Boy: Can I touch it?


Mother: Now that’s enough. Leave the poor woman alone. She’s going to have a baby, Jack.


Little Boy: But can I?


Maddie: (shrugs) Sure…you can…you can touch it…


The elderly woman smiles with a cackle.


The little boy reaches up and gently puts his small hand on Maddie’s belly.


Little Boy: Wow!


A beat….all is very quiet….and then…


Little Boy: Does it hurt very much?


Maddie: (matter of fact, smiling) No…no, Jack…not too much!


The doors open once again and the elderly lady makes her way to step off. She stands in front of the doors to look at Maddie, peering again over her large glasses. Maddie holds the button to keep them from closing on her.


Elderly Woman: Cocoa butter.


Maddie: Excuse me?


Elderly Woman: COCOA BUTTER!


This information is confidently announced as a group of people enters the elevator.


Elderly Woman: (still speaking louder than necessary) It’s the best thing for those ghastly stretch marks. And trust me, I know!


She turns and leaves. Maddie blushes as the new elevator companions spread out in the elevator. The little boy is now forced to stand a little closer to Maddie. He reaches over again and pats her tummy.


Little Boy: I bet he’s gonna be a whopper!


The elevator fills with suppressed giggles and laughs.


The door dings open again and the mother grabs his hand, embarrassed.


Mother: Let’s go Jack. This is our floor.


He waves good-bye to Maddie. Maddie waves back.


The elevator makes another stop on the sixteenth floor where the large group that had entered makes their way off, leaving Maddie with the kissing couple. She rolls her eyes and hopes for a non-stop ride to the twentieth floor.




The doors open as the man and woman come up for air.


Maddie: Get a room!


~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~


Scene II

Blue Moon reception area


Herbert Viola can be seen perusing a stack of files. He looks a little more frazzled than usual as he sips his coffee. He makes eye contact with Magillicuddy, who thumbs his nose. The phone rings.



Agnes: (picks up phone)

Blue Moon Detective Agency

Are you looking for your neighbor? A friend or foe?

Then you’ve called the right place, it won’t cost you much dough.

We’ll search through the night, don’t worry about us,

‘Cause we have what it takes, no need to fuss.


Agnes listens…and then hangs up quickly.


Agnes: How rude!


She shrugs and then sorts through yesterday’s mail. Maddie enters, not looking too perky. Of course, Ms. DiPesto notices.


Agnes: Good morning Ms. Hayes.


Maddie: Good morning Agnes.


Agnes: And how are you this morning?


Maddie: I’m fine. Any messages?


Agnes: No, no messages. Things have been pretty quiet around here lately, Ms. Hayes.


Maddie heads for her office.


Maddie: Yeah, that’s the problem. There’s more funny business in the elevators than there is in this office. Guess that’s a first.


Agnes: Elevators?


Maddie: (standing at her office door) Did Mr. Addison make it in?


Agnes: Yes, should I let him know you’re here?


Maddie: (closes her door behind her) No…


Agnes: One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand…


Bert makes his way over.


Agnes: Four one thousand, five one thousand…


She picks up the phone and alerts David with three short buzzes.


Bert: Agnes, you heard her. Why are you buzzing Mr. Addison?


Agnes: Because she’s at that stage, Herbert, where she thinks she knows what she wants and most of the time it’s not what she needs.


Bert: Huh?


Agnes: Bert, don’t you have something to do? What about those files from last week? You have them ready for me?


Bert: If I have to look at another bland yellow folder with the remnants of Magillicuddy’s grimy, pesky notes from that botched surveillance of his…



David is now standing near Agnes’s desk.


David: Now Viola, I seem to recall a handful of botched stake outs that resulted in stacks of files from your grimy little digits. And besides, that grime is supplying your paycheck. Agnes? She’s here?


Agnes nods.


David: And?


Agnes: The same.


David: Yeah…that’s what I was afraid of.


He goes to Maddie’s office door, but hesitates before going in.


David: Agnes? Hold all calls until…No…no, on second thought, if any calls come in, send them to us ASAP. A rescue might be in order.


Agnes: (nods) Aye, aye Mr. Addison.


The office staff stares.


David: Okay, shows over! At least look like you’re busy!


David closes the office door softly behind him. He looks around the office for Maddie …not there.  The bathroom door is ajar and he can hear her rummaging around. He steps to the door and starts to call her name, but thinks twice…might be best to just wait. He paces a little, looks to the door again…paces. He eyes the maracas Maddie has left in her bookshelves since their separate vacations and his dad’s famous surprise visit several years ago. He picks them up, giving them a shake. A little smile crosses his face.


David: (under his breath) There’s a lot more where that comes from these days…


Maddie: Yeah…figures you’d notice!


He turns, replacing the maracas, grinning.


David: Yeah?  Well, it’s not a complaint, mind you, just a, uh…an observation.


David’s eyes gleam.


David: Still think you’ve always had the greatest maracas, even before.


Maddie rolls her eyes, disappointed that he doesn’t just kiss her good morning, instead of reminding her of certain body parts that have doubled in size the last few months. She struggles with her rolling chair and then gives up when she can’t get it close enough to her desk anyway. David suppresses a little laugh, which, unfortunately, doesn’t go unnoticed.


Maddie: (not amused) So, what’s the latest on the surveillance our Magillicuddy muddled? Are we going to be able to keep the Landford account?


He grabs a sofa pillow and puts it behind Maddie’s back.


David: (eases onto the corner of her desk) I think we can hang on to Ms. Landford as long as we give her the information she needs.


Maddie: Hang on to her?


David: Well…yeah…I mean, if we can pacify her a little longer—


Maddie: Pacify?!


A beat…David is clearly confused, but wants to tread lightly.


David: Give Bert some time. He’ll get it straightened out. Anyway, it’s not exactly the big contract we’ve been looking for.


Maddie: No, but it’s a contract, David. And we need it. We cut it a little close this month.


David ponders Maddie’s face, seeing worries hidden there.


David: I know. Though…sometimes… solving mysteries around here isn’t always about money or contracts.


He eyes her again and she avoids his gaze, rearranging a few items on her desk.


David: Didn’t we square away the Kramer case in record time? If James Christopher had turned out to be someone very different we’d probably still be sleeping in that little mobile home of yours with Miss Me. Besides, we did a good thing with that case, despite my misgivings about taking it. James Christopher and the Kramers appear to be developing a nice relationship.


A beat… as he tries to get a read on her.


David: Maddie, it will all work out. The phones will be ringing soon. We’ve always managed before.


Maddie: You don’t know that! How can you know that?


She tries to get up, falls back a little and then scoots to the edge of her chair.


Maddie: Ugh! I can’t even get out of a chair around here! Forget about solving mysteries.


David: (smiling) Here, let me help.


He takes her hand and pulls her up.


Maddie: (sighs) I just wished I could contribute a little more with Ms. Landford. If we had covered the surveillance this would have never happened. Instead, we turn Magillicuddy loose and look what happens.


David: We gotta turn’em loose sometime. How else are they gonna learn to take on a little more around here? A little over a month from now we’ll need them to pick up the slack.


Maddie looks annoyed. She misses their stakeouts; with David and his sexy little comments he’d make about the backseat of their car and strategically planted light posts.


Maddie: Yeah…guess I wouldn’t be much fun on a stakeout these days anyway…


David fidgets with a paperweight on her desk, weighing his next words carefully.


David: So…did you sleep any better last night?


Maddie: I slept great this morning. Why didn’t you wake me, David? You knew I wanted to get here earlier today.


David: There wasn’t anything going on here this morning that Agnes, Bert or myself couldn’t handle, Blondie Blonde.


Maddie: That’s not the point!


David: Then what exactly is the point you’re trying to make?


Maddie: I need to keep working, David. Sleeping in every morning…


David: You haven’t slept in every morning…


Maddie: Doesn’t produce clients, not to mention paychecks…


David: Things can be handled around here if you take a few more hours to yourself every now and then…


Maddie: Besides, I will be out a while once the baby is here.


David plops on one of the sofas, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He hasn’t exactly been sleeping through the night lately either, as he has kept one ear and eye open on Maddie the last few weeks.


David: In fact, why don’t we tell Agnes to hold all calls for an hour, you take that sofa, I’ll take this one and we see who gets to dreamland first.


A beat….David catches a shadow of disappointment upon her face. Now he is really confused.


Maddie: This is an office, David, not a hotel, and we have work to do. At least, I do!


David: Well, until we hear the doors getting beaten down around here…


He pats the sofa.


Maddie: And that’s my point! We need to drum up some business, not lay around on our beehinds!


David: (laughing) Beewhats? Maddie, they’ll get here, in due time. Much like other things around here.


His gaze falls to her belly and he smiles.


Maddie: And what about the Landford account? Are you going to salvage it? Before it’s too late?


David can see he isn’t helping things. Maddie paces in front of her desk. He’s not going to win this one and decides to give Maddie her space…again.


David: (gets up to leave) Okay…I can take a hint…I’ll go. Not sure exactly what you’re going to do with your day in here, but I suppose I could go by and see Ms. Landford.


Maddie: (dryly) I’m sure she would be thrilled to see you.


David: What’s that supposed to mean?


Maddie’s phone rings. She picks it up to get out of the conversation. David stands puzzled.


Maddie: Yes Agnes.


David: (shaking his head) Good ol’ Agnes…


Agnes: Ms. Hayes, there’s a Mr. Warren Tyler here to see you and Mr. Addison. Should I send him in?


Maddie catches David’s eye.


Maddie: Yes, Agnes, but send him to Mr. Addison’s office, please.


Agnes: Will do Ms. Hayes.


Maddie hangs the phone up as David folds his arms across his chest.


Maddie: So, how do you want to do this?


David: Do what?


Maddie: How do you want to handle this case?


David:  First, we don’t know if it’s a case we should take. Second, if it is a case we should take we handle it the same we always have.


Maddie: Well, I thought maybe you could get the Landford case wrapped up while I see what this Mr. Tyler has for us.


David: (guides Maddie out the doors and to his office) No way, Maddie. I know how that plays out. It’ll just end up being another boys versus girls episode and we’ve done enough of those already. Besides, (he smiles and winks at her) we’d just have to let you win again.


He opens the doors and waits for Maddie to go ahead of him. She rolls her eyes and enters.



~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~




Scene I

Same morning

David’s office


A large box sits on the coffee table pulled to the middle of David’s office. On its latches hang small locks.


Maddie and David sit in chairs. Warren Tyler sits on the edge of the black leather sofa and leans his elbows on top of his knees…one wrist is handcuffed to the handle of the box.


Maddie eyes the case and the man with curiosity. David looks as if he’s going to burst out laughing, as he has his doubts about the guy. Tyler is sporting a large top hat…Cat in the Hat style…with large red and white stripes. He’s cloaked in a heavy fur coat, which ruffles slightly as he talks.


Maddie: So, Mr. Tyler…how can Blue Moon help you?


David shifts a little in his chair and looks to Maddie. He knows the case is theirs already, just by the look in her eye.


Tyler: Ms. Hayes…Mr. Addison…this trunk holds the next biggest thing since The Muppets.


David: The Muppets?


Maddie: David, the Muppets. You know, Cookie Monster? Kermit the Frog?


David laughs. The thought of Maddie knowing who the Cookie Monster is tickles him.


David: Oh, trust me, I know exactly who the Muppets are…always was partial to Miss Piggy and Animal, the drummer of the band, myself.


Maddie: Okay, Mr. Tyler, so what do the contents of that case have to do with your coming here today?


Tyler: First, Ms. Hayes, I must ask for a confidentiality agreement before I can reveal the contents.


He reaches inside his fur coat and pulls out a folded piece of paper.


David: I can assure you, Mr. Tyler, that everything we discuss will be confidential underneath a Blue Moon contract.


Tyler: I understand, Mr. Addison, but what I’m asking is, once I show you the contents of the case, that you not reveal said contents to anyone.


David: I understand… Mr. Tyler… but we are in no position to make a promise until we know what’s inside that suitcase of yours. For all we know, you could be hiding some high tech illegal weapon or a—


Tyler: A bomb?


He laughs, making the fur on his coat ruffle even more.


Tyler: Oh, I assure you Mr. Addison…and Ms. Hayes…the contents will be explosive…to some degree.


David gets up and grabs Maddie, pulling her to her feet.


David:  Let’s go Maddie! I think we’ve heard enough from this kook.


Maddie: David, I don’t think he—


Tyler rises, dragging the case off the table. He grabs it with both hands. His hat begins to topple and he struggles to keep it on his head and juggle the box.


Tyler: I assure you, I’m not carrying a weapon of any kind. Please…(a pleading look to Maddie) just hear me out? Forget about the agreement for now, Mr. Addison. You look to be trustworthy.


David: Maddie, we don’t have time for this crackpot!


Maddie: Let’s just see what’s in the case. What can it hurt?


David sighs and rolls his eyes.


David: Ugh, okay Mr. Tyler! You have three minutes to wrap up your presentation. The tape is rolling and the clock is ticking. Spill!


Tyler sets the case on top of David’s desk, pulls a ring of small keys out of his hat and removes the handcuff from his wrist. David and Maddie share a look. The guy is just plain weird! He then proceeds to unlock the latches. He pauses to look at Maddie and David before opening the case.


Maddie and David come closer.


Tyler: (an almost crazed smile) This is going to make kids go nuts….and maybe even a few adults…are your doors locked?


David: Only on certain occasions do we lock ourselves inside our offices, Mr. Tyler…(glances at Maddie and winks)…and this isn’t one of them.


He opens the case slowly. Maddie and David stare, for a moment not sure of what they are looking at. Nine little furry-looking objects lay inside the velvet lined case, each with its own separate compartment…much like a large jewelry box…only bigger. And each little furry object is of different colors…black, green, and brown, red, purple, and pink…some are spotted.


David: Oookaaaay…Maddie, it’s obvious that Blue Moon will not be responsible for our nation’s security…or a city block or two, for that matter…that is unless each of those little things are Tribbles.


Maddie: Tribbles? What’s a Tribble?


David:  You never watched Star Trek? Tribbles, Maddie! Those little furry creatures that are born ready to procreate. Actually, they’re born with only two purposes…eat and reproduce… and they do it with remarkable speed. (Smiling) Kind of like someone else these days…only not as furry.


Maddie ignores him…or tries to anyway.


Maddie: Mr. Tyler, what exactly are we looking at?


Tyler: Ms. Hayes, these will be the biggest things since Barbie and Ken skirted the catwalk with their foray of glitz.


David:  (scoffing, eyeing Tyler closely) Well, I don’t know about you, Mr. Tyler, but I was always more of a G.I Joe kind of guy.


Maddie goes to lift one of the objects out of the box.


Tyler:  Ah, please allow me.


He reaches into his coat pocket for a pair of white gloves and pulls them over his hands.


Tyler: May I present to you, The Original Nine.


David:  You’re original all right.


Maddie:  The Original Nine? Nine what?


Tyler picks up the first small object.


Tyler: The original start up to the new stuffed animal craze. Forget about the big stuffed bears and tigers! My idea is to go small, small as in baby small.


His eyes skirt Maddie’s maternity dress.


Tyler:  Moms everywhere will be popping them inside diaper bags. Kids will carry them around like their best friends. They have no names as of yet. I’m hoping a little inspiration will jump out at me while I wait on the patent.


Maddie:  So, these are miniature versions of all the stuffed animals out there that kids already have?


Tyler: Well, I suppose…if you think of it like that. But, what kid do you know that carries around a stuffed lobster or a platypus?


David: (laughing) A platypus?


Maddie: Mr. Tyler, again, how can we help you?


Tyler:  I’m convinced that someone will try to steal this idea from me before I get the patent. I want you…Blue Moon…to protect The Original Nine.


David:  Wait a minute, wait a minute! You want us to guard a bunch of fist-sized balls stuffed with fluff?


Maddie looks at David and rolls her eyes. He raises one hand knowingly.


David: You know what I mean.


Tyler:  Actually, they’re full of beans.


David: Yeah? (under his breath to Maddie) Much like their owner…


Maddie:  We’ll take your case.


David: What? Wait a second! Maddie, this is hardly that big contract you were wishing for not thirty minutes ago.


Tyler:  I assure you, Ms. Hayes. It will be worth your time. My patent should come through soon.


David shakes his head and plops into his chair behind his desk.


Maddie: I suppose you’ll be leaving the case here with the keys?


Tyler:  Yes…yes…I suppose you should have them…


He paces a bit, rubs his chin and contemplates.


Tyler: However…I do ask that should you transport the case any further than this office that the lid is closed and locked and the contents are not revealed to anyone but you and Mr. Addison…


He closes the lid.


Tyler:  And that the latches are secured…and locked…


He locks the latches and hands Maddie the handcuffs.


Tyler: And…the transporter is cuffed to the handle.


Maddie looks at David.


David:  Nuh-uh! Don’t look at me!


~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~


Scene II

The Hayes-Addison Household

Later that evening


David carries the case through the front door. The handcuff jingles.


David: (looking weary) I don’t know why you wouldn’t let me give this duty to Viola, Maddie. The things I get talked into these days.


He sets the case on one end of the den sofa.


Maddie: (curiously) What do you mean? What have you been talked into lately?


David looks at her unbelievingly. She kicks her shoes off and sits down on the opposite end of the sofa.


Maddie: I mean besides you being the bodyguard of that thing.


David: Well…maybe not necessarily talked into anything…maybe it’s just me… ducking and dodging…


He reaches into his pocket with the hand not attached to the case, looking for the keys to the handcuffs and trunk.


Maddie: Yeah…I’ve noticed…


David pats the pocket of his shirt, still searching for the keys, looking a little puzzled.


Maddie: (watching David, shrugs) Guess I can’t really blame you…considering…


She puts her hands on her bulging belly.


A beat…David is now cramming his left hand into the right pocket of his pants.


Maddie: What are you doing?


David:  Did I give you the keys?


Maddie:  David, I’m tired and my feet hurt. Quit goofing around…


She props her swollen feet on the coffee table.


David: I’m not goofing around! Are you sure you don’t have them? Check your purse.


Maddie grabs her purse and dumps the contents on the sofa.


Maddie: Nope, no keys. I gave it to you right after Tyler put the cuffs on you. What did you do with it?


David: Maddie, if I knew that I for damn sure wouldn’t still be standing here!


Maddie: Oh yeah? Just where exactly would you be right now if you weren’t so inconvenienced?


A beat…


David: (sighs, swipes a hand through his hair) I’m not having this conversation with a hormone driven, sleep deprived, hardheaded blonde!


Maddie:  Hardheaded? What do you mean hardheaded? I’m seven months pregnant, not a two year old!


Another beat….and then…


David:  Look…Maddie…I know you haven’t been sleeping well lately. Maybe you should give Dr. Weed a call--


Maddie: (interrupts) Dr. Weed is a good doctor, David, but she doesn’t always have the answer to every little thing that goes on.


David slides the trunk closer to her and sits on the edge of the sofa.


David: Then clue me in, Maddie. Why aren’t you sleeping? Are you feeling okay, do you need to eat more? Maybe a bedtime snack would help.


Maddie: Well…


David: Is it me? Is it something I’ve done or didn’t do…said or didn’t say?


She meets his gaze briefly and then looks away, unsure of what to tell him…or how to tell him. She waves him off and gets up from the sofa.


Maddie:  It’s nothing, David. Certainly not anything you’ve done or said lately.


She scoots to the edge of the couch and works to stand, none too gracefully. David starts to help her, but is encumbered by the trunk.


Maddie: You’re right, though, I am sleep deprived and I’m sure it just goes with the state that I’m in…and well, speaking of which…I think I’ll go to bed.


David follows her to the bottom of the stairs, but doesn’t go up. She turns to see him watching her.


Maddie: You coming?


David: (raps on the case) Don’t think I can take this thing to bed. I’m gonna go back to the office and see if I left the key there.


Disappointment crosses her face.


Maddie:  Yeah…probably not…Can you drive with that thing?


David:  I’ll figure it out.


Maddie: Okay…well…will you be long?


David: (shrugs, knocks on the case) Depends…


Maddie:  Well, goodnight then…


David watches as she closes the doors to their bedroom. He takes the case by the handle, grabs the car keys.


David:  Mystery number one…find the keys to this damn thing. Mystery number two….


He opens the front door and looks once more to the top of the stairs.


David: (as he closes the door)…figure out what’s eating Maddie Hayes.



~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~





Scene I

Same evening

Back at Blue Moon


The bright beam of a flashlight shoots across David’s office, landing first on the bar and small refrigerator, traveling along the wall over pictures and a credenza and then backtracking. It stops on a black box. A gloved hand opens the lid and the light shines inside, revealing what looks like a corkscrew bottle opener and two wine glasses. The hand slams the lid shut and then moves the light to the other side of the office. It lands on David’s desk. As footsteps are heard moving across the office, the light trails down to the drawers where again, a gloved hand opens the middle drawer and shines the light in, revealing only a few magazines and a yellow legal pad of paper. The hand then opens the top side drawer and starts pulling out a variety of items…a pair of odd looking glasses…a plastic dinosaur…a paddle ball set…all of which get dumped on top of the desk. One last reach in the drawer and the hand pulls out the last item…a gorgeous picture of Maddie from her Blue Moon shampoo days, her hair tossed back and shining. The light lingers on her face.


David pushes the reception door of Blue Moon open with his foot and struggles to get to the light switch. The trunk slips and falls out of his hands, taking the handcuffed arm with it.


David: (grunts) Damnation!


He heaves the case back up and goes into his office in search of the key.


The intruder moves quickly to hide in David’s bathroom, closing the door, but leaving a small crack. David enters, flips on the light, and rummages around his desk for the missing key. He looks on the coffee table and then starts to go in bathroom. He stops. Something clicks and it doesn’t feel right. He goes back to his desk because it registers that the stuff that is normally in his drawers is on top of his desk and he knows he didn’t leave it there. He looks around the office and then his eyes fall on the bathroom door. He gets a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, swallows hard, and then slowly backs out of the office through the reception area, closing the doors quietly. He turns quickly and heads for the elevators.


He makes a sharp turn to the next hallway.


David: Umph!


The case hits the wall and he turns to see the person he ran into sprawled on the floor.


David:  Bert! What the hell are you doing? Get up!


Bert: (pulling his disheveled self up) Mr. Addison?


David: Let’s go!


Bert: Go where, sir?


David:  Anywhere but here.


David muscles the case and Herbert to the elevator doors.


David:  Push the button!


Bert complies.




David: (stepping inside elevator) Come on, Viola!


Bert scurries in and David manages to push the button for the parking garage. The elevator begins its descent.


Just as the doors close, a gloved hand punches the button hard with its fist…



~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~


Scene II

The Lexus


David moves quickly across the garage to the car with Herbert in pursuit. He pulls the keys out of his pocket and throws them at Bert.


David: Viola, you’re gonna have to drive.


Bert:  Sir? What’s with the box?


David:  Just get in, we gotta go!


David climbs in and sits in the passenger side with the trunk on his lap. Bert manages to start the car.


David: Step on it, Bert!


Bert: (hesitating, looking for the headlights) Yes sir! Just looking for the lights. I’d hate to crash Ms. Hayes’ car. She’s already not too happy with me over the Landford case.


David: Yeah, well, join the club.


Bert: I should’ve kept a closer eye on Magillicuddy…that numbskull.


Bert pulls out and they converge onto the dark street. Only a few cars go by. David looks behind them to make sure they aren’t being followed. Bert notices.


Bert: (goes into private detective mode) Sir? Are we being followed?


He steps on the gas.


Bert:  Don’t you worry, sir. Whoever it is, you’re safe with me! We’ll take the back streets out of here and you’ll be home in no time.


David squirms a little at the thought of going home…especially without keys to the handcuffs.


Bert:  So, Mr. Addison. What’s in that box of yours? Why are you cuffed to it like that?


David looks out the window, lets out a deep breath and concedes to the fact that he’s going to spend an evening with Herbert Viola. He’d much rather be spending it with a certain blonde…if only he could figure out what was up with her…


David: Bert, you’re looking at our newest case.


Bert: Well, I can see it’s a case, but why are you handcuffed?


David:  (rolling eyes) I mean, it’s the latest case that we’ve taken on…at Blue Moon. You know, detective work.


Bert: I see sir. So…if you’re handcuffed to that thing it can only mean one thing. That it’s full of highly classified information and Blue Moon is responsible for its safekeeping.


David:  You could say that.


Bert: I knew it! You’re in with the bigwigs. I just knew it Mr. Addison. I just knew it! So, where does the drop take place? I’m grateful sir, that you are allowing me this indulgence! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? You and me? On a case together? It’s a little like old times! Should I make a few more turns to throw the antagonists off the trail sir?


He looks in the rear view mirror and guns the gas again.


David: Chill, Viola. Just drive. I’m taking you home.


Bert: (disappointed) Home sir?


David: Yes, home. Where you should be at this time of night. What were you doing back at the office anyway? You should be home with Agnes and little Mickey. You know, the comforts of home and all that.


Bert: AaaAgnes isn’t too happy with me right now either.


David looks out the window and up at the sky.


David:  Well, it’s not a full moon…


Bert: Sir?


David: Nothing…


Bert: (eyes case again) So what’s in there then, if it’s not classified information or—or our nation’s security you’re protecting?


David: Oh, it’s classified… just not exactly the kind of information I ever thought Blue Moon would be hired to protect.


Bert looks on, waiting for David to tell him exactly what it is he is protecting.


David: I can’t tell you, Herbert. Maddie and I have been sworn to secrecy. You wouldn’t believe it if I told you anyway.


Bert eyes him and the case again.


Bert:  Okay…so why the big rush to get out of the office if it isn’t important?


David:   I never said it wasn’t important—


Bert: Yeah? So it is a matter of national security?


David looks at Bert with a “you’ve got to be kidding me” look.


David: (laughing) Viola, you’ve been watching way too much James Bond.


Bert: (sheepishly) You sound like Agnes…


David: Speaking of which, you didn’t answer my question. Why were you coming back to the office? You put in a full days work cleaning up Magillicuddy’s fiasco.


Bert: Well…The baby hasn’t slept through the night all week and Agnes is just a little tired and needs her space. I thought I’d come back to the office for an hour or two and try to put the Landford mess behind us and then give her a break through the night. That moron, Magillicuddy… while I can understand his getting distracted with Ms. Landford, it doesn’t excuse the boner he’s pulled on her case. I mean, how hard can it be to tail a woman like that?


He smiles and looks at David.


Bert: Have you met her, sir?


David: That happens tomorrow in the office.


Bert: Take it from me, Mr. Addison. Prepare yourself! I tried to explain the situation to Ms. Hayes, but I think I left her with the wrong impression.


David: Well, Bert, Ms. Hayes has been a little more impressionable these days.


David considers this and wonders if he’ll be doing the same thing in a few months…coming back to the office to give Maddie her space. He feels as though he’s been doing a lot of that already. He takes a closer look at Viola and can see a languor that matches his own.


A beat…


David: Pull over, Viola.


Bert parks the car on the curb in front of a bar.


Bert: Sir?  Why here?


David:  Let’s stop for a quick drink.


Bert considers.


Bert:  Do you think that’s a good idea? I mean with you and that box you’re carrying around and someone after it?


David: I think we lost’em. One drink then we go home.


They emerge from the car and enter the bar. Another car pulls up to the curb a little further down the street and parks. The driver side window rolls down and a black shadowy figure can be seen. Upon closer look, an arm rests on top of the door, black-gloved fingers drumming impatiently.



~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~


Scene III

Bar in LA


David and Bert sit on bar stools, the trunk on the counter. David gets a few odd stares. The bartender sets two beers down in front of them.


Bert: So…Mr. Addison. Besides the fact that you’re handcuffed to that trunk of yours, what brings you out this evening without your other half?


David takes a sip of his drink and sees their reflection in the bar mirror. He shakes his head in disbelief.


David: I got home with this thing and couldn’t find the key to the handcuffs. So I came back to the office hoping I’d left them there. I’m pretty sure someone was either in my office snooping around or had already snooped and left. Warren Tyler must really have something someone else wants.


Bert: Uh…Warren Tyler? The guy who invented Tyler Toys? (Smiling) Agnes loves all of those stuffed animals of his. You should see little Mickey’s room. She has it stuffed with his stuff.


David readjusts the case and himself on the barstool.


David: This must be what it’s like to have a ball and chain, huh Viola?


Bert: (eyes David and shrugs) I don’t know, Mr. Addison. Agnes has never felt like a ball and chain. Maybe more like a kite on a string. (Smiling again) It’s like she flies with the wind sometimes and you better damn sure hang onto to the string to stay up with her. It’s fun…can be tiresome…and sometimes challenging, depending how the wind blows, especially while she was pregnant. But it’s great to watch her soar.


David drinks his beer and listens.


Bert: I mean…while she was pregnant there were times when I couldn’t figure out what she wanted or needed or didn’t want or didn’t need. But at the end of the day all she ever really needed from me was assurance that she was still my beautiful Agnes, no matter the extra roundness here and there (smiles)… or the swollen feet… or the odd cravings (shakes head)…But, boy could she still turn me on, you know Mr. Addison?


David chokes on his beer at the visual Viola just inserted. The case on the bar jerks forward as he coughs and covers his mouth.


Bert: You want that thing off?


David: Well, it’s sort of the reason you were decked back at the office.


Bert: Slide that thing over here, Mr. Addison. I think I’ve got just the thing.


Herbert reaches inside his coat pocket and pulls out a small brown leather case. Inside are five pins of different sizes.


David:  Bert, what are you doing with that?


Bert: I found them at the old pawnshop down the street from Century Plaza. Never know when you have to get inside someplace.


He selects a pin and David holds his cuffed wrist closer.


Bert: (squints, picks lock) Besides…I learned from the best…


He opens the cuff, smiling.


Bert: There you go!


David rubs his wrist as Bert puts his pin case back inside his coat pocket. He slides the trunk to the side.


Bert: Sir…are you sure you’re not still being followed? I mean…I could take that off your hands for a while. Might be a good idea…you know…throw them off a little?


Bert eyes the trunk with part curiosity, part just wanting to be in on an important case. David weighs the idea, thinking about Maddie, Tyler’s requests and the possibility that the snooper that was in his office earlier could still be around.


David: Viola, this is your chance to make up for that little mess this week.


Bert: (serious) I won’t let you down sir.


David: Follow the rules.


He slides the trunk over to Bert and latches the handcuffs around his wrist.


David: When you’re transporting this thing home or to the office, cuff it to you. This is per Ms. Hayes’ rules and that Cat in the Hat fellow that was in the office earlier. This should be over in a couple of days, maybe earlier, so no screw-ups, got it?


Bert: You can count on me.


Bert gets up to leave, but doesn’t go the way they came in.


David: (follows Bert) Where are you going?


Bert: Out the back way, of course! You never know who’s out there, sir!


David: Okay, but do you want me to take you home?


Bert: No, no, I’ll call a cab from the pay phone on the way out.


David: Okay, Bert. I’ll see you in the office in the morning and that box better be there with you.


Bert: (clutches the trunk protectively) It will be, Mr. Addison.


Herbert turns to go and David grabs his arm.


David: And just for the record…I wasn’t inferring that Maddie...that she’s like a --


Bert: (smiles knowingly) Probably more like one of those kites…stuck in a tornado and you’re hanging on trying to figure out how to pull her out of it without breaking the string? (Reflectively) She’s over seven months pregnant and on the homestretch…glowing brighter than the moon…and more voluptuous than all—


David: (slaps Bert on the back) Yeah, yeah, Viola. Something like that.


He leads him to the pay phone.


David: Make that call and get out of here.


David turns, a blech look on his face, and heads for the front door of the bar.


David: (under his breath, shaking his head) T-M-I, Viola.


David steps out onto the sidewalk and checks his watch. He sees a yellow cab go by with Bert in the back giving him a salute. Down the street the person sitting in the dark car earlier watches as David gets in the Lexus…without the case. A gloved hand punches the steering wheel angrily at the realization that the case has been passed off. David pulls away from the curb.


And the dark car follows.




~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~






Hayes-Addison House



David slowly pulls the Lexus into the garage, turns off the radio and then the engine. He sits for a moment, lost in thought. He finally emerges, slowly walking down the driveway. He looks up to their bedroom window, where he hopes Maddie is fast asleep, and inhales a cool breeze that blows his shirt and hair.


David: (shakes his head) Kites and strings…


He looks through the iron gate in front of the driveway and notices a dark car pulling up to the curb, and extinguishing its lights. His curiosity piqued, he circles back around and disappears behind a large tree. A car door closes and footsteps are heard. A dark figure with a baseball cap can be seen climbing the gate. The figure passes David and proceeds to go to the back of the house. David follows, sizing up the person and the situation.


He grabs the figure from behind, locking its arms to its sides.


David: Just where do you think you’re going?


The person kicks and squirms…hard!


David: Just hold on, for Pete’s sakes! Ouch!


More kicking and squirming.


Figure: (straining through clenched teeth) Let me go!


David: Not until you tell me who you are and what you’re doing here!


The person is much smaller than David, and he has managed to lift them off the ground in the struggle. He tightens his hold. In the tussle, the hat falls to the driveway and long dark hair springs from beneath it.


David: (shocked) What the? Hey! Hang on!


She kicks hard once more, landing a good one on David’s shin, but he still hangs on.


David: (gasping) Ow! Okay, Okay! Look, I’m not going to hurt you! But I’m not letting you go until you tell me you won’t run.


Woman:  Just let me go!


David catches his breath. He’s still leery of letting her go.


David: Okay…I’m going to let you go now, but if you try to run we’ll be right back where we started.


The woman has stopped struggling.


David: Okay?


Woman: (takes a deep breath) Okay!


David eases her feet to the pavement.


David: Okay, I’m going to let you go…


He let’s go and she makes a move to run. David is quicker and grabs her arm, swinging her back around.


David: Hey! I thought we had an agreement!


Her hair blows across her face. David releases her again, dumbfounded by this woman. She stays put.


David: Now…who are you and what are you doing here?


She pushes her hair from her face and lets out a breath in frustration. David can see she’s young, probably no more than twenty. He sees a glimmer of tears begin to well in her eyes.


David: It wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain detective agency and a certain piece of information that agency is protecting, now would it?




~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~


Scene II

While David confronts the mystery woman

The bedroom



Maddie sits up in bed. An array of baby magazines and books are scattered across the bedspread and sheets. One in particular is opened to a picture of the latest hot new toy clad in rich red fur…Tickle Me Elmo.


The phone is pressed to her ear.


Virginia (OS): Oh, Maddie! Trust me! David still finds you just as beautiful and alluring and sexy as he did the day he met you! He loves you!


Maddie: I know he does mom…right now, anyway. But what about when I’m in the ninth month, when I’m about to pop? I just feel so huge already!


Virginia: Do you remember the time when you were asked to go to your first high school prom?


Maddie: (rolls her eyes) When Bobby Jones brought me home five minutes late and dad was waiting on the front porch? How could I forget! I was so embarrassed.


Virginia: Yes, but do you remember why you were so nervous about that night? It had nothing to do with your father giving Bobby the rundown on his rules when he picked you up. You had your first modeling job the very next day. You were so worried about all of the things that could possibly go wrong. And you took so many precautions to ensure that you looked perfect for that first photo shoot and the prom that you failed to really enjoy both experiences. Proms and first modeling jobs only come once in a lifetime, Maddie, just like the joy of holding a baby in your arms for the first time and all of the pleasures that take place getting ready for that big day.


Maddie let’s out a sigh.


Maddie: Yes, I know. So I guess you’re saying to embrace the extra parts of me I’m acquiring and enjoy it the best way I can. Mom? Where do I get this? Being such a worrywart?


Virginia: Do you even need an answer to that? Dads can be funny, too, while you’re pregnant. Sometimes they are hard to read. Why I remember when your father thought he needed to sleep on the sofa the last two months of my pregnancy so I would be sure to get eight hours of rest every single night until the day you were born. Boy, did I take that the wrong way!


Maddie: (a little laugh) Well, okay, mom! It’s late where you are. I should really let you go now.


Virginia laughs.


Virginia: Maddie, you take care, now! Get some rest and stay off of your feet when you can, dear.


Maddie: Okay, I will. Goodnight…I know…I love you, too. Give my love to daddy…Okay (laughing) Goodnight.


Hanging the phone up, she grabs one of the magazines on the bed and leans back on her pillows. She starts to read an article about skin care and hormones during pregnancy. A small picture inset of Demi Moore seven months pregnant and posing nude catches her eye.


Maddie:  Right…that’ll be the day…



~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~


Scene III

The DiPesto-Viola household

Same evening


The trunk sits on a coffee table in the DiPesto-Viola household. Bert is stretched out on the sofa and one arm dangles to the side as it’s cuffed to the handle of the case. Agnes rocks Mickey as he dozes in her arms. She eyes Bert who is asleep himself. She eyes the trunk…and then Bert…and then the trunk…Bert…the trunk…and she rocks.


Mickey is fast asleep; Agnes leaves the room to place him in his crib for the night. She kisses him, gives his little diaper-covered bottom a pat and snuggles his favorite blue blanket around him, smiling intently. And then she turns resolutely to the den.


Agnes stands over Bert on the sofa, who is now snoring. She turns and looks to the trunk, and paces a little in front of it. The mystery of its contents gets the best of her.


Agnes: (pokes Bert, whispering) Herbert?


He doesn’t move.


Agnes: (pokes him again) Bert?


With no response, she slowly pulls Bert’s case of lock picks from his coat, opens it and takes her best guess as to which one would get the handcuffs off of him. A few tries and she has it! She eases the cuffs off of Bert and lays his hand across his chest. He groans and then turns over on his stomach, his suit coat rumpled and his wild curly hair sticking on end.


Next, she takes another pin and commences to open the small locks on the latches. Presto! She smiles excitedly and looks to Bert, making sure she doesn’t get caught. With both hands, she lifts the lid of the case and peers inside.


Agnes: (smiling big, whispering) Wow! A purple platypus?



~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~


Scene IV

The Hayes-Addison kitchen


David: What I don’t understand, Amy, is why you are doing their dirty work. They can’t possibly be paying you enough to be sneaking around offices and private property at night.


Amy:  They told me if I found out what Warren Tyler was toting around these days that they’d pay me enough to cover my tuition for the year. (Shrugs) I just figured it’d be worth the try. I could put the money away and not worry about how to pay for next year. They’re only paying me minimum wage answering the phones in the offices a few days a week. I guess I was getting bored. I never thought it would be possible to lose Mr. Tyler; I tailed him for two days and it seemed so easy.


David: Yeah, he’s kind of hard to miss.


Amy: And then the next thing I know he leaves your office without his case and I figured he left it with you.


She brushes her hair back and sighs.


Amy:  I’m really not cut out for this, am I Mr. Addison?


She notices David’s eyes move to the other side of the kitchen.


Maddie: Not cut out for what?


Maddie stands in the kitchen. Her robe, that is now too small, is tied loosely around the lowest part of her large girth. The two women eye each other.


 Maddie notices Amy’s slim and firm figure, black sweater and tight black pants, long dark hair, beautiful dark round eyes and soft complexion.


Amy looks at Maddie and a flicker of recognition crosses her face.


David: (standing) Maddie, I thought you’d be sound asleep.


Maddie: (still eyeing Amy) I’ve been talking to mom.


David: Amy, this is Maddie Hayes, my—


Amy: (standing) Yes! I recognize you from the picture in Mr. Addison’s desk.


Maddie: Oh really…(she eyes David who looks a little caught)


Amy: I had no idea that the Blue Moon girl got married and is now in the detective agency business. When I was ten, I wouldn’t let my mom buy anything but Blue Moon shampoo.


A moment of awkward silence… Amy smiles, a little embarrassed.


David: Maddie, Amy and I sort of ran into each other on the driveway. She works in the Marckle Toys offices… on special assignment, I guess you could say.


He smiles at Amy. This ruffles Maddie.


Maddie: David, where is the case?


David: It’s safe.


Maddie: But where is it?


David: Amy, this is the part where we excuse ourselves to talk about the—uh-- case of the case! Please, have a seat, make yourself comfortable and we’ll be right back. Maddie?


He guides her through the kitchen into the den.


Maddie: (whispering through teeth) Daaviid! Where is it?


David: (whispering calmly) I sent it home with Bert.


Maddie: (now seething) Herbert Viola has the case?


David: Maddie, it’s cuffed to him, just like we agreed. And it’s a good thing I ran into him. (Thumbs the kitchen) Amy in there was snooping around in the office and apparently followed me home after I passed it off to Bert. She has no idea where it is, what it is or what she’s doing, for that matter. Marckle must be desperate to snatch Tyler’s secret.


Amy appears in the den.


Amy: Mr. Addison…Mrs. Addison, I—


Maddie: Ms. Hayes.


Amy: Oh…(She eyes them both) I’m sorry, I just assumed.


David: Well, you know what they say about assuming.


Maddie: You don’t say?


Amy looks confused. David rolls his eyes.


David: Amy, I can’t think of any reason why the police should be called.


Amy: (eyes grow big) Oh, no Mr. Addison! I don’t think it’s in my future to be a snoop!


Maddie: David, she broke into our office and trespassed on private property!


Amy: Well, technically, Ms. Hayes, I didn’t actually break into your office. I slipped in behind the cleaning lady while she struggled with her cleaning cart in the hallway.


Maddie catches David’s eye.


David: (to Maddie) I’ll have a chat with Esther first thing tomorrow. In the meantime, Amy, why don’t I walk you out to your car?


Amy: Sure, let me get my cap.


She leaves the room. Maddie looks like she’s ready to pop.


David: Now Maddie, I think you’re about to overreact to this. She didn’t do anything wrong, which is good for her, because I think she’s just a kid that has gotten mixed up in something she didn’t fully understand.


Maddie: But David she could have killed this case for us!


David: But she didn’t. Trust me, Maddie, she is no threat and she knows nothing.


He looks at her closely.


David: You know she reminds me of you?


Maddie: Me? Ha! Hardly! Look at her! And then look at this!


She puts both hands on her belly.


David: That’s not what I meant. I remember when you knew nothing about stakeouts and detective work. Yet, you didn’t let it stop you from trying to run a detective agency. I dressed you all up in black just like her for your first ever surveillance, remember? It was a brave thing Amy did…and it was brave of you eight years ago.


Maddie softens and he pulls her closer, giving her a little kiss.


David: And you’re so much prettier than her.


Amy: Oh, excuse me…


Maddie: No Amy, excuse me… (looks to David) for assuming I knew all of the facts about you.


Amy: Thank you, Ms. Hayes.


Amy smiles and David leads her out the front door.






~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~


Scene V

The next morning

Blue Moon


Bert sits at his desk, handcuffed to the trunk sitting in the middle. He checks his watch and the clock on the wall.


The office is quiet as the staff gets their morning coffee and tries to stay busy…or look busy. But the curious case has them antsy. Jamie goes to her desk the long way around, eyeing Bert and the large box on his desk. O’Neill wads a piece of paper and gets up to throw it away in Simpson’s trash can…which is right by Bert and his box. Simpson gets a closer look.


Bert eyes all of them and then makes eye contact with Magillicuddy…who rolls his eyes and feigns ambivalence. 


David and Maddie enter. David is smiling, looking a little perkier than Maddie.


Maddie: Yeah, well you try sleeping with a basketball stuffed under your t-shirt and see how that works for you. Good morning Ms. DiPesto. Any messages?


Agnes: Yes…Mr. Tyler called and said he would be coming by this morning at around ten to pick up his case. Something about a patent?


David grabs Maddie’s arm and leads her to his office.


David: The day is looking brighter already.


Agnes: And Mr. Addison, Ms. Landford is here and waiting in your office.


David: Thanks Agnes.


David taps the top-secret case on Bert’s desk.


David: Nice job, Viola. Knew I could count on you.


Bert hops up, the case slides to the edge of the desk and he catches it just before it topples.


Bert: Thank you, sir. It was my pleasure!


Magillicuddy rolls his eyes. Agnes stifles a little giggle with a hand covering her mouth.


Maddie stops short of the doors, unsure of whether she wants to meet Ms. Landford or not.


David checks his watch and turns to Maddie.


David: I thought I set her for nine-thirty. Maddie, what say you and me blow this pop stand at lunch…we make sure the Landford case is back on track… give Tyler his case, he pays up…it’s Friday…please mom?


He smiles and Maddie seems to like the idea herself.


Maddie: Okay, but why don’t you handle Ms. Landford while I-


David: Nonsense! Let’s get this over with. I’m sure she’d be glad to meet you as well.


He opens the door and gently pushes her inside. The elderly Ms. Landford stands by the window enjoying the view.


David: Ms. Landford? Hello, I’m David Addison and this is my partner, Maddie Hayes.


Ms. Landford sees Maddie and smiles.


Ms. Landford: Ah, so we meet again.


Maddie: Yes…yes, so we do.


David: Maddie? I thought you two had never met?


Ms.Landford: (smiling) We met yesterday… in the elevator.


Abigail Landford slowly crosses the office, admiring Maddie once again. David joins in the admiration.


David: Ms. Landford, would you like to sit?


Ms. Landford: No, I’m fine, thank you. I won’t take much of your time.


David: Well, I can assure you we have your case back on track. There won’t be any need for more surveillance. As we stand now we think we have a lead. We believe you have a secret admirer, Ms. Landford, and we think he lives right down the street in your neighborhood.


Ms. Landford, still admiring Maddie over the top of her large glasses, finally looks David’s way. David eyes Maddie and Maddie shrugs.


Ms.Landford: Ah! It’s not that old codger Ted Baxter, is it? He’s had the hots for me for years.


She winks at Maddie.


David: He walks his dog by your house every evening at the same time. And he was seen putting one of those flowers you found on your porch inside your mailbox.


Ms. Landford: Yes, yes, I know. His dog did his business on the tire of your fellow’s car.


She opens her purse and pulls out an envelope.


Ms.Landford: Well, I appreciate what you’ve done, despite the little confusion with the camera flashing at night and scaring old Ted off. Here is your fee, Mr. Addison, paid in full. I’ll no longer need your services.


David takes the envelope and gives her another smile.


Maddie: Thank you, Ms. Landford. Can we help you out?


Ms. Landford: No, no. I’m fine. I’ll catch the bus on the corner.


She looks to Maddie, smiling and thumbing David.


Ms. Landford: He’s a real charmer, isn’t he? I suppose he considers himself lucky to have landed you.


David: That I do, Ms. Landford.


Ms. Landford gazes at Maddie again and makes her way to the door to go.


Ms. Landford: (pausing) You should let him help you with the cocoa butter, sweetie.


She winks and leaves. Maddie closes the door behind her and David sits on the edge of his desk, opening the envelope Ms. Landford gave him.


David: Well, she wasn’t exactly what I was expecting.


Maddie: Me neither… but it will pay the bills.


David gets up and meets Maddie in the middle of the office.


David: That it does. Now…about later today…


He tries to wrap his arms around her. Maddie’s protruding middle feels like…a whole other person between them.


David: (looking down) I swore to myself that I would never let anything or anyone come between us ever again.


He pulls her as close as he can.


David: (smiles) Bunny is just gonna have to share you.


Maddie: (sighs) Yeah, well there’s plenty there to share these days.


David considers this.


David: So we’re gonna play hooky later, right?


Maddie: I’m fine with that. Ms. Landford is squared away and it sounds like Mr. Tyler has his patent. Besides, I can tell my feet will be two sizes larger by then.


David: I say we make it a date. I’m cooking for you and Bunny tonight.


There’s a knock at the door. David opens it to find Agnes escorting Mr. Tyler. He’s wearing a felt black hat with a long bright-colored flower on top; its stem bent and the fluorescent pink petals flopping. His purple-striped long-sleeved shirt is accented with red suspenders clipped to his knee high purple pants, exposing bright red socks. The only thing missing is the clown shoes and make-up. He carries his case by the handle, but this time no handcuffs.


David steps forward to shake hands hello.


David: Mr. Tyler… I see you’re not cuffed to your case there. Must mean you got your patent?


Tyler: (beaming) Yes, yes it does!


Maddie: That’s wonderful news.


Agnes has followed him into the office. She seems captivated by him.


David: Ms. DiPesto? Is there anything else?


Agnes: Uh…no, Mr. Addison.


She eyes the case with some misgiving.


Agnes: I’ll be going now.


She leaves and closes the doors behind her. Meeting Bert’s eyes, she scurries back to her desk and tries to cover up her qualm…


Bert shuffles files around on his desk, Jamie files her nails, O’Neill is busy making a rubber band ball, Inez reapplies her lipstick and Magillicuddy sips coffee.


Moments later Tyler emerges from the office followed by an animated David and a very happy Maddie.


Tyler turns to the whole office.


Tyler: It’s been a pleasure working with you. And if I’m ever in need of another patent remaining secured…or a little inspiration…


He winks at Agnes.


Tyler: I know who to call.


Agnes blushes. Bert eyes her with curiosity.


Tyler: Good day, Blue Moon!


And Tyler leaves.


David erupts!


David: Ladies and gentlemen, put on your party hats because it’s time to party down and dirty! Though, in Ms. Hayes’ case let’s make sure she parties right side up and not too dirty!


He waves two checks in the air with both hands.


David: People, you are looking at the product of hard work…


He gives Maddie a quick kiss.


David: Teamwork…


He makes a round, high-fiving Jamie, O’Neill, Simmons, Inez and Magillicuddy. He man hugs Bert, slapping him on the back. Bert’s face reddens with such a showing of gratitude from his hero.


Everyone receives accolades but Agnes.


David turns to her.


David: AND…a little bit of blue ribbon rhyming from our own Agnes DiPesto.


He wanders over to her desk with his trademark half grin…which could use a patent of its own.


David: I’m not even going to ask how your little rhymes ended up in Tyler’s locked case while handcuffed to Bert…


He raises his eyebrows at Viola.


Bert approaches looking dumbfounded. Agnes looks caught, her eyes going from him to David.


David: But Warren Tyler liked it and that’s all that matters…except for this little bonus…


He gives Agnes one of the checks. She beams. Bert’s jaw drops.


Maddie: (eyes misting slightly) This is a great day for Blue Moon. And because it’s such a great day I say we take the rest of the day off. Monday comes soon enough!


David looks surprised…and pleased.


Maddie: You’ll each find a little something extra in your next paychecks.


The Wobblies slap and high-five each other.


Maddie: Well, what are you waiting for? The weekend awaits!


The staff doesn’t have to be told twice. They grab purses and coats, thank David and Maddie, and bustle out the door.


Maddie and David linger at Agnes’ desk.


Agnes:  Thank you Ms. Hayes and Mr. Addison.


Maddie: We’re glad we could do it, Agnes. Now you two go enjoy your weekend!


Bert and Agnes leave. David slaps Herbert on the back again and he smiles sheepishly.


Bert: (to Agnes) All right, how’d you do it?


He wraps an arm around her as they go down the hall.


Agnes: Herbert, if I give you all of my secrets what fun would that be?


Bert: Yeah, but I was cuffed to the thing….


David and Maddie laugh as their voices fade.


Maddie: I think we should go, too. Let me grab my stuff. Meet you at the elevator?


David is still rocked.


David: Yeah, I’m right behind you.


He waves the check and then gives it a thump as he goes into his office.


David: Wow!


Maddie makes it to the elevator and pushes the button.


David pauses in the middle of the reception area and looks around. We can see him fill with pride as he turns the lights out in the office and closes the doors. He stuffs his hands into his pockets and gazes at the Blue Moon logo on the window.


Maddie pokes her head around the corner.


Maddie:  David, you coming?


He smiles back at her.




~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~





Friday evening

Hayes- Addison den



David and Maddie enter the den after dinner.


Maddie: Who would have thought that Blue Moon would benefit from a box of nine miniature toys stuffed with tiny beans and tagged with Ms. DiPesto’s rhymes?


David: Maddie, closing this case is so big for us! I’m pretty sure I have never…ever…seen a check that big…and we earned it! You do realize what this means, right?


Maddie: That we invest some of the money back into Blue Moon, start building our own little nest egg…a college fund or two?


David: Or three or four!


Her eyes grow big.


Maddie: How about just one for now!


Maddie sits on the sofa. David sits opposite her on the edge of the coffee table. He reaches underneath it and pulls out two wrapped gifts. One wrapped in blue, the other in pink, with a white bow on both.


Maddie: David…what is this?


He hands her one box.


Maddie: It’s not my birthday…


David: Yeah, nor the day of birthing.


He goes to the stereo and turns it on, and then joins her again. The Staple Singers “I’ll Take You There” plays softly.


She unwraps the first box.


Maddie: (smiling) This isn’t going to turn out to be one of those annoying toys that kids love and that drive all parents nuts, is it?


She holds up the stuffed character known as Elmo. It giggles and shakes and laughs.


Maddie: David, you know we have to be careful not to spoil our child…too much, anyway.


David: I know…you remember how every year as a kid there was always that one big toy everyone wanted for Christmas?  I want to be able to give our kid the things he or she really wants…And now that we’ve hit pay dirt, we can.


He smiles and takes Elmo. He shakes and giggles again and David struggles to get him turned off.


David: Besides, I just know any kid of mine would love to have him.


They laugh and he sets it aside, reaching for the smaller wrapped box.


Maddie opens it, peeks inside and pulls out…


Maddie: Sneakers?


He takes them, motioning for her bare feet. He smiles intently, giving each foot a soft massage. Maddie melts. He slips the white Keds over her toes, trying them on for size.


Maddie:  I’ve never had a man give me sneakers before. As a matter of fact, I don’t think anyone has ever given me shoes before. David, these feel like heaven…and dinner was wonderful…thank you.


David: Does this mean I can wear my hi-tops to work now?


She wrinkles her nose with a telling look.


David stands and takes her hands, pulling her to her feet.


David: Now that you have your dancing shoes on…


Maddie: David, I couldn’t possibly…


David: Sure you can…c’mere.


Maddie flushes slightly, her eyes turning a darker blue. David pulls her closer…well, as close as he can get her. He smiles and chuckles and his eyes light up for her, making her feel lighter on her feet than she’s felt in months.


They sway to the music and David steps away to twirl her around. Maddie laughs again at her awkwardness, but now it doesn’t seem to matter as much.


Maddie: Maybe something a little slower?


David pushes the forward button on the player. Al Green’s “Make Me Happy” slows the pace.



David: Come here Maddie…turn around.


He turns her back to him and pulls her in close, planting a kiss on her neck, still swaying slightly to the music.


David: (whispers) Now this is what I call dancing.


Maddie: (softly) Kind of more like the backstroke…only nicer.


He inhales her hair and nuzzles her ear.


David: You are so beautiful.


Maddie closes her eyes and dissolves in David’s arms.


David: I love you, Maddie.


They immerse themselves in the music and enjoy the comfort of holding each other close, neither in any hurry for it to end. They exchange a few whispers and a smile a two. The song eventually ends and a new one begins.


I've been really tryin', baby
Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long
And if you feel like I feel, baby
Then, c'mon, oh, c'mon
Let's get it on
Ah, baby, let's get it on
Let's love, baby
Let's get it on, sugar
Let's get it on




Maddie: David?


David: (nuzzling her neck) Humm?


Maddie: I don’t think I can dance to this one.


David snickers.


Maddie: Besides, I think it’s time to slip out of these dancing shoes…


David: Agree.


They go arm in arm up the stairs. David kisses Maddie’s head.


Maddie: My shoes feel good. Just wish I could see them.


David: (looking down) You’ll just have to take my word that they look great.


They make it to the bedroom and enter.


David: You did pick up the cocoa butter, didn’t you?


Maddie: Oh, David.





There's nothing wrong with me
Loving you, baby no no
And giving yourself to me can never be wrong
If the love is true
Don't you know how sweet and wonderful life can be
I'm asking you baby to get it on with me
I ain't gonna worry
I ain't gonna push, won't push you baby
So c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby
Stop beatin' 'round the bush
Let's get it on


I've been really tryin', baby
Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long
And if you feel like I feel, baby
Then, c'mon, oh, c'mon
Let's get it on
Ah, baby, let's get it on
Let's love, baby
Let's get it on, sugar
Let's get it on



~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~






Music: “Make Me Happy” sung by The Staple Singers

          “I’ll Take You There” sung by Al Green

          “Let’s Get It On” sung by Marvin Gaye




Thank you Glenn Gordon Caron, Cybill Shepherd, and Bruce Willis for Moonlighting…a classy show that was and still is a class act.  There hasn’t been nor will there ever be another show like it.


Special shout out to Curtis Armstrong and Allyce Beasley…maybe in the background a bit, but never forgotten and forever loved.


Much thanks to my husband who puts up with me and my so-called fairy tales…without too much eye rolling!


As always, much gratitude to Diane, Lizzie and Jen for constant support and feedback. And to Sue, who I know is always there and will very soon be bribed with outrageous things to get her to write an episode this season!


But mostly, I’m thankful for the friendships I’ve made in this oddball adventure. One day ladies, we will all sit together and raise our glasses to Moonlighting…and there won’t be anything virtual about it!



This episode is sponsored by Pandora Music




Starbucks…a sip or two and BA-BING!!

Comments always welcome.