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The Nanny Connection





1970 Beverly Hills

Rainy Night in November


A young woman steps out onto the little balcony of a garage apartment.  She looks to the main house, where loud arguing can be heard between a man and a woman.  The words can't be understood but it is a very heated battle.  On the second floor of the main house, a light comes on in the corner room.  A young boy of about seven or eight opens the window and looks out across to where the woman is standing.  He looks sad.  The woman and boy exchange a slight nod.  The woman steps back and closes the doors.  The lights go out in the garage apartment.  The outside door opens and the woman descends the stairs out to the driveway.  She is carrying a suitcase.  She has a raincoat but no umbrella.  She turns her collar up against the weather.  She looks up at the young man and gives a weak smile.  Tears rolled down the boy’s face; he waves.  She walks down the driveway out of sight.  The boy’s eyes follow her until she is gone from view.  An older girl, about sixteen, enters the room and scolds the boy.  She physically pulls him away and slams the windows shut.  The lights go off in the room.  The arguing continues.  The storm rages on. 



The rain streaks down the window panes of the French doors of an upper garage apartment.  The doors lead to a little balcony too small to hold a chair or table.  Lightning flashes.  The rooms of the apartment are dark and look abandoned.  There are no drapes in the windows; nothing to make it look homey or lived in.  Lightning flashes again.  Through the dirty windows, we see that one room is full of boxes and pieces of furniture stacked up on each other.  In the darkness, it seems it has always been there, but has been clearly forgotten.   Across the yard in the main house is a similar balcony with French Doors, this balcony is much larger.  These doors lead to the master bedroom. 


Act I

Scene 1

Hayes / Addison Bedroom


Inside, safe and warm from the bitter November night is our happy couple. David is sound asleep on his stomach, arm hanging off the bed with only boxers covering him; he is snoring softly.  Just beyond is Maddie, propped up with all the pillows including David's.  She however is not sleeping.  She looks miserably uncomfortable. She looks to David and considers waking him.  She stops herself.  She tries to adjust to get more comfortable - not happening.  She checks the clock: 4:47AM. The alarm is more than an hour away. 


Maddie: (whispers softly) David.


David does not move. 


Maddie switches to plan B.  She picks up a magazine from the end table, one she has clearly read a dozen times before.  It is sitting on top of various pregnancy and child development books.  Surprisingly enough, it is not a parenting magazine; it's COSMOPOLITAN and the woman on the cover looks like a very young, very thin Maddie Hayes.  Maddie closes the magazine and studies the young model.  Maddie remembers those early days clearly, but they feel like they happened in another lifetime.  Maddie has come so far from that bright, pretty, idealistic girl who had the world at her feet.  Now she is forty plus, pregnant, hasn’t seen her feet in months and her options are definitely narrowing – but not in a bad way.   She never could have imagined the life she has currently, particularly the last five years.  It wasn't planned.  It wasn't even a passing thought.  In fact, she is not sure she could connect the dots from her sixteen year old self to her forty year old self but she is - dare she truly believe it? - happy.  A bright smile crosses her face - brighter than any picture has ever captured on film.  The magazine drops to her lap and she places her hands on her swollen abdomen.  The baby moves again. 


Maddie:  It won't be long now, little one.  I can’t wait to meet you, show you your room.  Introduce you to your father.


She tosses a loving glance at David. 


Maddie:  We love you.  Your father and I will take good care of you. 


A thought crosses Maddie's mind -- one that has been edging her mind for weeks, but has never made it to the surface until that moment.  She looks over at David again.  He hasn’t moved.


Maddie: (whispers softly) David.


David does not move. 


Maddie:  (louder) David. 


David does not move. 


Maddie:  (raised voice) David!


David does not move. 


Maddie pulls a pillow out from behind her and 'drops' it down on David's head.


Maddie:  (just shy of yelling) DAVID!


David flies out of bed.


David:  Who?  What?  Where?  When?  How?   


He looks over at Maddie and a wave of panic washes over him.


David:  (frantic) Is it time?  It's time.  I'm ready.  I'm ready. Where are my keys?


David rushes to the closet.  He pulls on a fedora hat, a raincoat and sneakers that have no laces - so easy to slip on.  He grabs Maddie's bag which has been packed for two weeks and rushes to the bedroom door. 


Maddie:  David.


David:  You stay there.  I'm going to get the car and I'll be back to help you down the stairs. 


Maddie:  David!


David:  Should we call an ambulance?  I'll call an ambulance. 


David rushes out the door and starts down the stairs.


David:  (Off Screen; Shouting) What's the number to 9-1-1?


Maddie:  (shouting) DAVID!  I'm not in labor.


The pounding down the stairs stops.  The footsteps climbing back up the stairs are decisive and slow.  In a moment, he is again standing in the doorway, none too happy.


David: (very slowly) Not in labor?


Maddie: (smiling) No. 


David:  (repeating) You are not in labor.


Maddie:  (amused) No.  I'm a week away. 


David:  Dr. Weed said any time now.


Maddie:  (grinning) Not now. 


David drops the bag by the door and cocks the hat back on his head.  Maddie can't contain herself any more.  She bursts out laughing. 


David: (not amused) What's so funny?


Maddie: Look at yourself.  You can't go out of the house like that… they'd arrest you for indecent exposure. 


David:  What?


Maddie:  You look like a flasher. And where did you get that hat?


David:  You like my hat, huh?


Maddie:  It's not the only thing that ... stands out.


David looks down and wraps the coat a little tighter.


David:  Sorry, little David is still used to his morning routine. He and I usually work it out in the shower.


Maddie:  (wincing) Too much information. 


David:  Did you think I was in there for so long 'cause I was conditioning my hair?


Maddie:  (unimpressed) Your showers aren't that long, David.


David:  Nice.  Really nice.  Take a guy's favorite toy away from him and then mock him for how he plays with it.  Really nice.


Maddie:  That doesn't make sense.


David: The sun isn't even out. 


Maddie:  You aren't the only one who's suffering, you know?  Raging hormones over here.  I may be as big as a house but ... well, let just say the body is willing. 


David:  Your body is always willing ... just like mine ... s'why we are a perfect match.  (hitching a thumb toward the door)   You sure you aren't in labor?  The sooner we get that kid out of there ... the sooner we can start counting down --


Maddie:  Not in labor.


Disappointed, David looks over at the clock.


David:  It's 5 AM ... what are we doing up?


He hangs the coat and hat back up and kicks his shoes across the room.  He slips back in next to Maddie.  He picks up the magazine that is lying across her lap and studies the cover for a long moment.


David:  (softly) You ain't got nothing on Maddie Hayes, kid.


He tosses the magazine in the garbage.  Maddie is absolutely beaming.  She doesn’t believe him for a moment, but she is glad he thinks enough to say it.


He settles back against the pillows and snuggles Maddie against his chest; the position she likes best, with him supporting her lower back.


David:  So spill it Blondie, what's with the wake-up pillow-to-the-head?


Maddie:  I was thinking about what's next.


David:  Next?


Maddie:  Yeah, next.


David:  Another hour of sleep ... shower ... long shower ... a really long shower ... breakfast and then off to work.


Maddie:  Today is Saturday.


David:  No rest for the wicked.   Meeting a client at eight at the office - got mouths to feed. 


Maddie:  That's not what I mean.  I mean, what's next after the baby's born? 


David:  I thought we'd name him, feed him, teach him how to use the bathroom, speak and dress himself before we send him off to college so he can get a job and support us in our old age.


Maddie:  I was thinking about child care.


David:  I'm for it.  I think we should care about this kid. 


Maddie:  David!


David: Maddie!


Maddie:  (beat) We are not putting our baby in day care. 


David:  Huh?


Maddie:  Have you noticed how often Mickey is sick?


David:  He has Viola blood.  Addisons are of better stock.


Maddie:  David!


David:  Maddie! (beat) Ok.  So, no day care.  Do we need to talk about this now?


Maddie:  Yes.


David:  You stay home with him until he's twelve.


Maddie:  David.


David: I will.  I'm a much better Mr. Mom than Michael Keaton.


Maddie:  Can you be serious?


David:  Not until after my first cup of coffee.  (beat)  WHAT?  We'll take the kid to work with us. 


Maddie:  David!


David:  We have seven built in baby sitters that are already on staff.


Maddie:  We are not taking our baby to work, exposing him or her to our clients and our staff.  It won't work for an infant and definitely not when he is a toddler.


David:  Toddler?  Where did that word come from?  Just because a person is a little unsteady on his feet he gets dubbed a toddler. 


Maddie:  David.


David:  Seems mean to pick on a kid like that.


Maddie:  (frustrated) David, child care?    


David:  Look, you have an answer you are going for, why not just tell me what I am supposed to say?


Maddie:  Because this should be a discussion.


David:  So I get to keep guessing until I get it right?  (Yawning) Should've gotten me an hour ago.


David puts his head back and starts absentmindedly stroking Maddie's side getting dangerously close to her impressive breasts.  They are kind of hard to miss these days.  She is clearly enjoying it.  He puts his lips to her head and kisses. 


David:  Damn, you smell good. 


He nuzzles his nose down into the hair on the nape of her neck and moans. 


Maddie:  David.


He brushes the hair away and kisses her neck again. 


Maddie:  David.  Stop. 


David:  Just being affectionate ... get your hormones in check. 


He continues to nuzzle her.


Maddie:  David.


David:  Can't help it if I'm attracted to the mother of my unborn child. 


He stops and looks at her with a warm happy smile.


Maddie:  What?


David:  Nothing.  (Grins) In a week, the kid won't be unborn ... you'll be my baby's momma.  Are you going to go by Mom, Momma, Mummy, Mommy, Ma or Mammy?  Cause I am leaning toward Pappy at the moment. 


Maddie:  Pappy? 


David: Yeah ... Dad just sounds so ... you know ... Dad.  Like I drive an Oldsmobile, hitch my jeans up over my belly button and am tasked with all the corporal punishment.  Do we need to plant a switch tree out behind the woodshed?  Do we have a woodshed? Maybe I should start wearing belts that I can easily pull off? 


Maddie:  I've never seen you have any trouble getting out of your clothes.


David:  No ma'am - and you never will.


Maddie:  There will be no corporal punishment.


David:  How about private punishment .. (he goes back to nuzzling) … just me and you after the little one goes to bed? A time out ... some light spanking ... sent to bed without supper ... or clothes.


Maddie:  Can we get back to talking about child care? 


David:  When I was a kid there was an old single lady down the street - Mrs. Rubens - who used to watch us when my mom had to work.   She locked us in the bedroom with the cats and watched soap operas, smoking Pall Malls and drinking vodka out of a Flintstones Juice glass.  


Maddie:  David!  That's not true.


David:  Of course I was ten at the time and that was before she was taken away for --.


Maddie:  No Mrs. Rubens. 


David:  I don't think she is up for parole yet anyway.  (beat) The Sinisgalli's granny watched them after Mr. Sinisgalli took off with the Avon Lady and Mrs. Sinisgalli had to get two jobs.  Granny made the best spaghetti sauce on the block and some killer meatballs.


Maddie:  The grandmother idea is not going to work. 


David:  The commute would kill us.  So give me a hint, eh Maddie.  What do you think we should do?


Maddie:  A nanny. 


David:  A nanny?


Maddie:  Or an Au Pair. 


David:  A pair of nannies?


Maddie:  No David, an Au Pair.  A young woman typically from a foreign country who needs work while she gains her citizenship. 


David:  Don't they call those indentured servants? 


Maddie:  I think we ought to get a nanny. 


David:  Fine. 


Maddie:  Fine?


David:  Sure.  What do you want me to say?  Nanny.  Au Pair.  Mrs Rubens. Granny Sinisgalli.  Call it what you will, some lady who watches over the kid while we are at work.  I wonder if Old Lady Sinisgalli is still around?


Maddie has bigger fish to fry than to debate David on the nuances of nanny vs. au pair vs. Mrs Sinisgalli. 


Maddie:  (hesitant) Well ...


David:  Well what? 


Maddie:  I think she should be a live-in.


David sits straight up, taking Maddie with him. 


David:  Wait just a gul dern minute there, Mamma Hayes!


Maddie:  What?


David:  You want to take in a boarder to look after our legacy?


Maddie:  A nanny is not a boarder.  I think that a live-in nanny is appropriate, given the time constraints of our job.  We have anything but regular hours and if we have a live-in, her hours will be more ... flexible.


David:  Twenty-four/seven is not flexible -- that is pretty much ALL THE TIME. 


Maddie:  David.


David:  David exactly.  What about David? ... What about our privacy? ... What about when I go to the kitchen in the middle of the night to get a snack?  I'm going to have to put pants on. 


Maddie:  You should do that anyway. 


David:  No ... no, no, no, no, no.  How can I say this so you will understand?


Maddie:  No?


David:  Took the word right out of my mouth.  Look, Maddie, living with you is great ... better than great, but I don't want this to become a commune.  We are adding a little Addison --.


Maddie:  Hayes Addison.


David:  The point is that we are already bringing in another person who will take up time in the bathroom, fight for the remote and eat my Oreos and now you want to add a stranger - a stranger stranger than the kid? Not even a blood relation. No. No way.  No how.  No ma’am.


Maddie:  David ... don't be stupid.    


David:  Maddie, we need privacy ... lots of privacy ... an amazing amount of privacy.  We are with people all day; I don't want someone at home too.  She'll be watching us.  Taking notes.  How long before she writes a book and our secrets are there for all the world to read?


Maddie:  What secrets?


David: Forget it.  I'll stay home.  I'll quit before we let someone live with us. 


Maddie:  (sarcastically) I'm glad we can discuss this like rational adults.


David:  I'm more than rational ... I am the King of Rational, the Duke of Reasonable, the Prince of Levelheadedness. 


Maddie:  You're a royal something or other. 


David:  That's rational.


Maddie:  You would rather drop your child, your legacy, your progeny off with strangers at a day care with strange kids and their strange diseases. 


David:  It has worked for decades since your sex decided to liberate and stop doing the job God intended you for. 


Maddie:  HEY!  


David:  I'm not saying that I want to keep you in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant - great image though.  But there's got to be some middle ground.


Maddie:  Middle ground?


David:  A pair of nannies shows up at eight and leaves at seven when we get home - no dropping off, just no sleeping over.


Maddie:  What happens when we get involved in a case and have to stay out late? 


David:  She works a little over time.


Maddie:  It's not reasonable.


David:  You want reasonable?  I don't want to share our house with a stranger.


David got out of bed and marched toward the bathroom. 


Maddie:  Where are you going? 


David:  I'm going to take a shower - a short one - the mood is broken.  Then I am going to work while I still can before I get put on baby duty.


Maddie:  We aren't done talking about this. 


David:  Of course we aren't - but we are done for now. 


He closes the door behind him more loudly than he wants to.  He opens the door again.


David:  See what I mean?  If we had someone living here we couldn't fight like this. 


Maddie:  That's an advantage?


David:  Or make up. 


Maddie:  So are we making up?


David:  Apparently not for seven weeks and two days ... not that I'm counting.  But the mood is back. 


Maddie:  That was fast.


David:  You have that affect on me.  Excuse me, need to shake hands with little David.


He closes the door again and the shower comes on.


Chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-in-ey

Chim chim cher-ee!

A sweep is as lucky, as lucky can be

Chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-in-ey

Chim chim cher-oo!

Good luck will rub off when I shakes 'ands with you

Or blow me a kiss and that's lucky too


Maddie can't help but smile.  She still looks frustrated but not beaten.


~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~


Act I

Scene 2


Blue Moon Offices


David is making coffee when Bert rushes in with little Mickey and all his paraphernalia in tow.


Bert:  I'm sorry I'm late Mr. Addison.


David:  Not late ... not alone either.


Bert:  The daycare is closed on Saturday until nine.  Agnes has the plumber, the electrician and the cable guy all coming this morning.  I told her I would take care of Mickey until it opens.  He'll be fine; you won't even know he's here.


David is about to object but Mr. Sorenson walks in.  He is about thirty years of age, very thin, sickly thin.  He is dressed in jeans that are too loose and a white shirt that has clearly never seen the business end of an iron.  He is nervous and very anxious.  Mickey starts to fuss. 


David:  (extends his hand) Mr. Livingston, I presume. 


Sorenson:  No.  No.  (He looks behind him)  My name is Sorenson, Jack Sorenson.  Are you expecting a Mr. Livingston?  Am I early?  I thought I was late.  I can come back if you were expecting someone else.


David drops his hand, considers offering coffee but thinks better of it.


David:  No. Just you.  Please come into my office.  This is my associate, Bert Viola and our newest member of the firm, Mickey. 


Sorenson does not look interested in meeting either Bert or Mickey.  He looks like he would rather run away.  David lets Sorenson precede him into the office and then follows after him.  David gestures for Sorenson to take a seat on the couch while he takes his position on the edge of his desk.  Bert wheels Mickey in and sets him up as a fourth member of the conversation.  Mickey continues to fuss.  David is unimpressed.


Sorenson:   I don't know if you can help me.  You probably can't help me.  I should just go. 


Sorenson stands to leave. 


David:  Mr. Sorenson, please.  Tell us what you need and I'll be very honest about whether or not we can help you.


Mickey starts to cry so Bert pulls him out of the stroller and walks him around the back of the couch bouncing him to quiet him.  It doesn't work.  Sorenson remains standing watching Bert; clearly he doesn't like anyone behind him.  David nods to Bert who walks Mickey around behind the desk closer to the windows.  David nods for Sorenson to sit again.  He does reluctantly. 


Sorenson:  I need you to find someone.  I don't have her last name - her first name is Anya.  I don't know what she looks like any more.  I'm not even sure she lives in Los Angeles.  Never mind.  (He stands again.)  I'm sorry to have taken your time.


David:  (ignoring his attempt at a departure) We've had less to go on, but not much.  What can you tell me about her?


Sorenson turns and sees that David is in earnest.  He sits down slowly. 


Sorenson:  She has the most beautiful voice I have ever heard and her eyes were green - green like the ocean after a storm.  She is kind and patient. 


David:  OK.  Anything more ... you know ... more useful?  Like where or how you know her or why you want to find her?


Sorenson shoots to standing again.


Sorenson:  (anxious and angry) Why I want to find her is my business. 


David:  I understand, but if you can't give me a little more to go on, I wouldn't know where to start.  How do you know her?


Sorenson:  She worked for Mother (the word sticking in his throat) ... my mother for eight years ... since before I was born.  She left twenty-three years ago today.  A rainy November day just like today too.


Mickey lets out a wail that startles both David and Sorenson.  David shoots Bert a look.


Bert:  I'm sorry Mr. Addison.  He's just out of his routine.  He'll be all right. 


Bert starts digging through the baby bag, pulling out diapers and bottles and blankets, until he find the little red lobster.  That seems to quiet Mickey down.


David turns back to Sorenson.


David:  Please Mr. Sorenson, go on. 


Sorenson:  That is all I know.  She left one night without a word to anyone. 


Sorenson can't meet David's eye.  There is clearly a lot more to this story that he is not sharing.


David:  She just left?  Have you asked your parents?


Sorenson:  My father died six weeks ago in a plane crash. 


Something registers with David; something familiar.


David:  I'm sorry to hear that. 


Sorenson:  Mother is ... my mother is in ... she’s in Boca Raton but we don't speak.  You can't talk to her.  No one can talk to her.


David:  So we won't talk to her.


Sorenson nods looking slightly relieved that David has agreed without further explanation. 


David:  Is this the first time you have tried to find Anya? 


Sorenson:  Yes ... Yes, of course ... how could I have tried before?  That doesn't make sense.


David:  Oh, right. Of course not.  How silly of me.  (beat)  What type of work did she do for your family?


Sorenson:  She was ... I don't know what it's called ... she helped around the house.  She took care of us ... of me.  She cooked and cleaned ... and took care of us - of me. Just me. 


David:  (offering) A nanny?


Sorenson:  Yes ... yes, that's what she was called. 


David:  (to the monitor) Tell me you didn't see that coming a mile away.


Sorenson:  We had lots of nannies after that.


David:  Do you know where she lived?


Sorenson:  She lived with us.  Well, she lived in the garage.


David:  The garage?


Sorenson:  Yes, the garage.  Over the garage.  On the second floor.


Bert:  Isn't it difficult to get the cars up to the second floor?


David:  Can you tell me where you lived?  Maybe a neighbor knew her. 


Sorenson digs a paper out of his pocked clearly ready for that question and hands it over to David.  David is surprised and slightly amused with the address.


David:  An apartment over the garage, eh?  Who knew?


He folds it up and puts it in his pocket. 


David:  Is there anyone else who might have known her besides your parents?


Sorenson:  Yes. Yes.  Mr. Goddard ... he knew her.  He was always at the house.


David:  Who is Mr. Goddard?


Sorenson:  Jason Goddard, the lawyer.  He came to the house a lot when I was young.  We moved away from Los Angeles fifteen years ago, but he is still the family lawyer.


Another look of recognition crosses David's face.


David:  We're going to help you, Mr. Sorenson.


Sorenson:  (surprised and relieved) You are?


David:  Yes.  This may take some time and it might get expensive.  We have a day rate, plus there are expenses. 


Sorenson: Money is no object.  I have money.  I need you to find Anya. 


David:  I have one condition. 


Sorenson:  What is that?


David:  When we find her ... and I suspect we will ... if she does not want to meet with you, you must accept that. 


Sorenson:  Why wouldn't she want to meet with me?


David:  I don't know - you tell me. 


Sorenson:  I need to see her.  It is vital that I see her again.  Mr. Addison, please.


David:  We will help you, but as I said, if she doesn't want to be found, you will have to respect that ... and still pay us.


Sorenson:  She will see me.  She has to.  Thank you, Mr. Addison.  Thank you. 


With that, Sorenson shoves an envelope at David and runs out of the office before David can change his mind. 


Bert:  Mr. Addison? 


David opens the envelope, revealing upwards of five thousand dollars in cash and a handwritten note with Sorenson's address at a hotel in Santa Monica. 


Bert:  Mr. Addison, you are taking his case without discussing it with Ms Hayes?


David:  Maddie is working on her own case at the moment, and I don't think even she would turn this one down.


Bert is still bouncing Mickey up and down, trying to get him to settle. 


Bert:  Where do we start? 


David:  Mr. Goddard's office.


Bert:  Do you know where that is?


David:  Jason Goddard, of Goddard, Finch and Finkelstein? It is a very high end legal firm in Los Angeles with big clients like OJ Simpson and Phil Spector.


Bert:  OH ... that Mr. Goddard.


David:  And I don't suppose you know about the Sorensons.


Bert:  Am I supposed to?


David:  Read a paper once in a while, Bertie Boy.  Jonathan Sorenson died in a small plane crash six weeks ago ... Sorenson?  Of Sorenson Pharmaceuticals? 


Bert:  OH ... that Mr. Sorenson.


David:  The obit was pretty interesting ... his only living relative is his son Jack, but there is quite a tale that goes along with the Sorenson family - most of it pretty sordid.  The rich have a way of buying their way out of trouble. 


Bert:  You took this for the money?


David:  Only way to keep food on the table, Bert.  You should know all about feeding more mouths. 


Bert gives another bounce and Mickey spits up all over Bert.  Bert looks shamed.


Bert:  He's just out of his routine.


~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~


Act I

Scene 3

8:35 AM

Hayes / Addison Kitchen


Talk about kitchen nightmares - Maddie is cooking a massive breakfast and making a huge mess.  It is clear that cooking is still not in her skill set.  She is talking on the phone too, which doesn't help keep a clean kitchen.


Maddie:  No ... No, Mom ... David was not impressed with the idea of a live-in nanny. ... He said no ... He thinks we can bring the baby to work or that one of us will stay home. ... Of course, he sees nothing wrong with daycare either. ... No, I haven't given up the idea, but we are going to have to settle on something soon.  ... We could meet in the middle and have someone take care of the baby in the house but not live-in, that would be a good compromise, but I still think that with our hours, it would be better if she lived-in.  ... We'll agree on something. ... We agree on a lot more things these days. ... Amazing, I know.  ... Of course I'm not worried about having another woman live in the house.  ... Mother, please. ...  When will you be flying in? ... Is Daddy coming with you? ... OK ... your room is all ready ... It will be great to have you here, I think David will be very grateful.  He is definitely looking forward to your stuffing and sweet potatoes. ... Oh  ... Oh ... well, we can go out for Thanksgiving dinner if you would prefer. ... I was looking forward to a home cooked meal and I'm sure David could use a break from my culinary offerings ... (Laughs) ... David’s specialty is hot dogs. ... Yes, he wants you here, Mom. ...He's not saying anything, but he might be feeling a bit overwhelmed… or maybe that's just me. ... Ok ... Ok ... Don't worry Mom.  We have some time.  OK ... OK ... I love you too.  Love to Daddy. ... See you soon.


Maddie hangs up and goes back to fussing with the sausages in the pan. Some are burnt beyond recognition and others are nearly raw.


Maddie:  Waffles!  I want waffles!  Do you want waffles, little one?


She places her hands on her abdomen. 


Maddie:  We won't be able to eat like this for much longer, little Bunny.  Pretty soon I'll be back on yogurt and salads - and you ... you'll have a pretty strict liquid diet.  I'd appreciate it if you didn't bite.


She laughs as if she were answered.  Maddie cocks her head as if listening to the baby. 


Maddie:  What's that?  Strawberry Waffles?  You got it, kid.  What?  Bacon?  I don't think we have any bacon.  Maybe we can get Daddy to pick some up on his way home. 


Miss Me yips from her basket by the door. 


Maddie:  You want bacon too?


Miss Me barks again.   


Maddie:  Bacon it is.  Hope there are instructions on the package.


~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~

~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~



Act II

Scene 1


On the road with Bert and David


Bert is driving; David is shotgun.  Bert has changed into a t-shirt - he carries extras in his car these days.  Little Mickey is in his car seat still crying, screaming and generally making a scene.  He is slamming his chubby hands down on the safety bar of his car seat, clearly demanding something.  Bert is looking in the rear view mirror and instructing David to find the little red beanie lobster.  David does and gives it to Mickey.  Without missing a beat, Mickey takes the lobster and throws it towards the front seat, hitting David in the back of the head.


Bert: I’m sorry, Mr. Addison.


David:  Bert, how far is this place?


Bert:  Sorry.  He is normally not like this. He is out of his routine right now and that makes him fussy. 


David:  His routine?  He’s four months old, Bert, what kind of rut could he have gotten into by now?


Bert:  You’d be surprised, Mr. Addison. 


David:  I guess I will be.


Bert:  Not long now, sir. 


David:  Six days and counting. 


David shoots a look at little Mickey, who is still crying. 


David:  Can’t wait for the little bundle of joy to make his entrance.


Bert:  I wouldn’t go by the date the doctor gave you.  It could be any minute now or two weeks late. 


David:  Bite your tongue. 


Bert:  That reminds me.  Agnes wants me to invite you to Thanksgiving dinner - again.  She is making a huge spread, there will be lots of people and we would love to have you. 


David is unimpressed with the idea of spending the holiday with Bert and Agnes and the extended family. 


David:  Thanks Bert, not sure Maddie is up to that big a feast.  Besides, Virginia will be getting here Tuesday.  We will either go out or order in.


Bert:  If you change your mind, you are always welcome, as is Mrs. Hayes.


Bert pulls into the strip mall that houses the daycare.  David is unimpressed. 


David:  You take him here? 


Bert jumps out and pulls out three bags for Mickey. 


Bert:  Yes, sir.  They are great.  Mickey really likes it here.  You and Miss Hayes should send your baby here too and then they can engage with each other. 


David:  Bert, what is all that ... stuff? 


Bert:  It is all Mickey’s … you know … well I guess you don’t know … his blanket, his toys, his food, diapers … you know, kids have a lot of stuff.  Can you help me with the stroller, sir?


David takes the stroller like it is some foreign object.


David:  I can see that.  Don’t you leave any of that stuff here so you don’t have to schlep it around? 


Bert:  Oh no.  Of course not.  They don’t want to be responsible here for any of Mickey’s belongings, particularly if he’s not here.  It’s really no big deal, you get used to it. 


David follows Bert and is less impressed by the inside.  It is actually a very nice place – clean, organized, busy -  but to David, it feels very impersonal and institutional.  Bert launches into his sales pitch.


Bert:  The people here are all trained in child development.  They provide educational child care from six weeks to twelve years so Mickey can keep coming here for years.  Right now, he is in the infant program where they create a nurturing and calming environment focused on developing positive and trusting relationships. 


David:  (unimpressed) Right. 


Bert:  The teachers … they call them teachers here … turn caretaking routines into ‘care teaching’ opportunities based on Mickey’s individual needs and development level.   Activities focus on skills linked to large and fine motor development along with cognitive, social-emotional and language development.  Every day we get a log of Mickey’s feeding, sleeping, diapering and learning activities. 


David:  The full scoop on all the poop, huh?


A woman approaches. She is in her mid to late forties, very plainly but neatly dressed with her hair pulled back in a tight bun.  To David, she looks like Nurse Rachett. Bert and the woman exchange a familiar formal greeting.  It is clear that she is unimpressed with Mickey’s mood and Bert’s attire. 


Bert:  Sorry, Ms. Langston.  Mickey is out of routine this morning.


Ms Langston: (disapprovingly) We understand, Mr. Viola, but we have talked about what we do when Americo acts up. 


Bert:  (shamed) Yes, ma’am. 


She nods to one of the staff standing by who rushes over and quickly takes Mickey from Bert’s arms and rushes the child to another room. 


Ms. Langston:  What time might we expect you?  Saturday is not your normal day.


Bert: (fearful) No ma’am.  I’m sorry.  Thank you so much for allowing us to bring Mickey in today.  I got called into work at the last minute.  Big case … we are looking for –


David clears his throat.


Bert:  Oh right … sorry.  Either Agnes or I will be here to pick him up no later than noon. 


Ms. Langston surveys David up and down the frown never leaves her face. 


Bert:  Mr. Addison, why don’t you take some brochures?  Ms. Langston, Mr. Addison is about to have a baby … well his … his … well, Ms Hayes is about to have a baby.  Maybe you can show him around?


Ms. Langston:  We interview by appointment only


David:  Is that the royal we? 


Ms. Langston:  And only after we have had a chance to review your application and done an extensive background check.


David:  Background.  We are all about background.  Bert, didn't you give Ms. Langston your card.  We are private investigators.  We'd be happy --


Ms. Langston:  We know.  We accepted Mr. and Mrs. Viola in spite of that.  Furthermore, we must meet both parents.


David:  (using a hick accent) My better half handles all the raising up - women's work. 


Ms. Langston:  We believe that both parents need to be very involved with the child rearing. 


David: It took two to make him, right?


David winks and scans her up and down, mock lustily.  Ms. Langston doesn’t smile or change expression in any way.


David:  We are not amused easily, are we?


Bert:  Yes, Mr. Addison.  Agnes and I are very involved.  I am here one afternoon a week.  Which reminds me, can I have Thursday afternoons off?


~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~

~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~


Act II

Scene 2

9:15 AM

Hayes / Addison Kitchen


Maddie sits at the table with a full breakfast of scrambled eggs, waffles, sausage, potatoes, juice and fruit.  It is a meal fit for a queen - or one very hungry pregnant woman.  She picks at her plate, as she flips through pamphlets for various agencies that provide nanny services. 


The phone rings.  Maddie hoists herself up out of the chair to retrieve the cordless from the counter.  She spies it amidst the mess of bowls, pans, eggshells and butter.  It takes her three rings to get to it.  She is a little out of breath.


Maddie: (panting) Hello.


David:  Where were you?  Are you all right?  Do you need me to come home?


Maddie:  David, will you stop worrying?  I'll page you if anything happens.


David:  Page me?  The pager!  That little thing that I am not supposed to leave home without. 


Maddie:  It's on the bureau, isn't it? 


David:  I'll come right home to get it. 


Maddie:  I'm fine.  Just making a little breakfast. 


David:  You're cooking?  I'll alert the fire department. 


Maddie:  You called for something?


David:  Make sure you get some protein ... and juice ... and fruit.


Maddie:  I'm fine, David.


She looks around at the mess.


Maddie:  The kitchen is fine.  What's the case? 


David:  Should be something simple.  Locate someone from twenty-three years ago.  We don't have a last name.  That last known address is familiar though. 


Maddie: So you took the case?


David:  No big deal.  Big pay day.  Need to take these little jobs to keep the money rolling in.  We've got mouths to feed. 


Maddie:  Speaking of which, can you bring home some bacon?


David:  (happily sarcastic) Here we go ... domestic bliss.  What else do you need?  Bread?  Milk?  I draw the line at feminine hygiene products.


Maddie:  Just you. (beat) Miss you. 


David:  Miss me?


Maddie:  She misses you too.  You didn't walk her this morning. 


David:  Hey ... about that thing we were talking about this morning. 


Maddie: Thing?


David:  Daycare.  Changed my mind. 


Maddie:  Oh yeah?


David:  Alcatraz has fewer rules.  No kid of mine is going into the system that early.


Maddie:  Are you coming home?


David:  In about an hour.  We have a lead to follow up.  We might be able to wrap this up before six.  How about I take you out for dinner?  Might be the last time it will be just the two of us out on date night for a long time. 


Maddie looks down at the mountain of food she has on her plate. 


Maddie:  Sure.  Sounds good.  I talked to my mother.  She's coming in on Wednesday night, not Tuesday morning.  Daddy is not coming until after the baby is born.  Mom probably won't want to cook on Thanksgiving, but I can do it. 


David: We'll order pizza or something.  Who knows ... maybe we will have something to be really thankful for on Thursday.  A new tradition. 


Maddie:  David, we won't be having babies every Thanksgiving!


David:  As long as we can go through the motions of creating one, don't care about the results - the long term results. 


Maddie:  Wow ... this is you after two weeks? I shudder to think what you'll be like in six weeks or eight. 


David:  You'll be shuttering ... trust me.  Gotta go.  Feed that Bunny.


David hangs up before Maddie can respond. 


Maddie feels like she won a tiny victory with David eliminating day care.  She sifts through the pamphlets again and finds one she likes.  On the front it has the picture of an adorable baby and reads:


Nannies & Domestics

Putting families & children first ... since 1988!


She picks up the phone again and dials. 


Maddie: Yes, my name is Maddie Hayes and I am about to have a baby. ... Thank you. ...  I would like to get some information about your services.


~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~


Act II

Scene 3

9:30 AM

Offices of Goddard, Finch & Finkelstein


David and Bert are directed into a large corner office.  There are three kids under the age of nine sitting on the uncarpeted floor in the corner playing a game - a very noisy game of Yahtzee.


Kid 1:  SIXES!!  No ... no ... COME ON - SIXES!!!  NO!


Kid 2:  HA HA ... where do you want your ZERO?!


David and Bert exchange looks.   Jason Goddard - older, white haired, distinguished - enters from another door carrying three Cokes and a bag of Oreos.  He plops them down next to the kids.  There is a round of cheers and thank yous.


Goddard:  Their mother is going to kill me, but grandfathers get to spoil their grandchildren, eh?


He laughs conspiratorially.


Goddard:  Besides ... she will be here to pick them up before the sugar really kicks in.  


David:  Nice. 


Bert is about to launch into all that he has learned about diet and nutrition aiding in the development of children, but one look from David stops him. 


David extends his hand. 


David:  Thank you for seeing us, Mr. Goddard. 


Goddard:  Please, sit down.  You caught me at a good time.


One of the kids screams YAHTZEE!!


All three men turn with a start to look at the kids.


Goddard:  Won't be getting much work done today.


Goddard directs them to the chairs by his desk.


Goddard:  How can I help you?  This is about Jack Sorenson, correct?


David and Bert share a look and wonder how much confidentiality they can breach to speed this along.


Goddard:  Don't worry.  Jack called me.  Told me that he was hiring you - against my advice mind you, and he wants me to help you.  So he asked you to find Anya, eh? 


David:  Yes.  But he would not tell us why.


Goddard:  It's not a secret.  Anya was the only real mother he has ever known. 


Goddard looks down and shakes his head.


Goddard:  Jack Sorenson is a troubled kid. Hell, he's not a kid.  He's over thirty.  I have known him his whole life.  I am the trustee on his estate.  It wasn't easy for him.  He was a sickly child - born premature and very small. Lydia Sorenson was not the maternal type.  She drank and smoked like a chimney. Of course that was before we knew about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or what smoking does to babies.  There are so many ways we can screw up our kids; it's a wonder that our species has made it this far.  Do you have kids, Mr. Addison?


David:  Working on my first.


Goddard:  Congratulations.  And good luck. 


Bert:  My wife and I just had our first four months ago.  Parenthood is such a life altering experience.  Before we --


David shoots him a look that shuts Bert up.


Goddard:  (to David) Boy or girl?


Bert:  A little boy.


David:  (sarcastic) We are waiting to be surprised. 


Goddard:  Well, pray for a boy - they are so much easier.  You know about Jill - I assume.


David:  Jill?


Goddard:  Jill Sorenson.  The daughter. Jack's older sister?  Troubled girl.  Very sad what happened to her.  Money can't buy happiness - the Sorenson family is proof of that.  Nor can it make up for bad parenting.  Jill suffered the worst at the hands of Lydia.  She was a difficult child from the day she was born, but Lydia and a round robin of wet nurses, nannies and daycares only made things worse.  But that is all ancient history, water under the bridge and Jackie is the only one left.


David:  I understood his mother lives in Boca Raton.


Goddard:  If you want to call that living.  She had a massive stroke five years ago.  Best thing that ever happened to Jack.  Lydia was cold and mean and could cut you off at the knees with a look or a word. 


Goddard shuddered at the thought of Lydia Sorenson. 


Goddard:  She has never recovered.  They feed and water her and wheel her around but that is about all she's good for.  At least she can't talk any more.  Funny, she always wanted to be taken care of - I guess she got her wish. 


David:  Anya?


Goddard:  Ah yes.  Anya.  Sweet sweet girl and a godsend to little Jackie.  I swear that girl saved his life – a few times.  She worked for the family for eight years.  Jill was about nine when she came.  They never got on – Jill and Anya - but then again Jill didn't get on with most people.  She left when she got pregnant.


David:  Anya or Jill?


Goddard: Anya.  I know what you are thinking, Mr. Addison.  I thought it myself.  John Sorenson was a very good friend, but he did have a reputation with women - very young women and typically those in his employ.  As his lawyer I knew about all of his ... indiscretions and had to pay many of those women off.  Not that I blame him.  Lydia was worse than a shrew - she was just a bitch.  However, John swore he never slept with Anya.  I'm sure he tried, but Anya wasn't like that.  John swore that the baby was not his.  Of course Jill had a different story to tell.


David:  A different story?


Goddard:  Yes, Jill told her mother that she saw John and Anya on many occasions. 


David:  And you think she was lying. 


Goddard:  I do.  John had no reason to lie to me. 


David:  Jill had a reason? 


Goddard:  Jill wanted Anya out of the house.


David:  Why?


Goddard:  You name it.  She wasn't there for Jill.  Too much attention to Jack.  Love triangle. In the end it didn't matter. Anya could no longer work if she were pregnant and definitely not after the baby was born.  Lydia sent her packing on the spot.  No severance.  No nothing.  Not a cab ride or bus fare.  Just sent her off on a rainy November night.  I remember it well.  John called me and told me to find her and make sure that she had a place to live and was taken care of until the baby was born. 


David:  Sounds like what a guilty man might do. 


Goddard:  I'd agree with you, but like I said John had no reason to lie.  And Anya wanted nothing from me or from the Sorensons.  If that were John's kid, she would have changed her mind eventually.  Pride is one thing, but when you're hungry – you’re hungry.  And most parents will do just about anything for their children - you'll find that out soon enough.


David:  I suspect I will.  Do you know why Jack wants to find her?


Goddard:  As I said, Jack is a screwed up kid.  For many years he thought Anya was his mother – he chose better for himself than God did.  He’s been institutionalized most of his life and his father controlled everything. Jack wasn't allowed to buy a stick of gum without his father approving it.  He was my friend, but I didn't approve of the way he raised his kids.  Anyway, now that John is dead, Jack is free to do as he pleases - within reason.  I am the trustee on the estate so he can't just give it all to charity, but I assume that he wants to find Anya and make up for lost time.  Maybe try to forge a relationship with her now that he is free to.


David:  Do you know where we can find Anya?


Goddard: (long pause) I'm sure I couldn't say. 


David:  Do you have a last name for her?


Goddard:  I know she married so it is not what it used to be.  She had a sister ... but I don't remember her name either. 


David:  Maybe you could look up the old records of employees for the Sorensons. 


Goddard:  Ha.  That’s funny.  Even if I had access and the records weren't over twenty years old, I might be able to, but Anya was not given a W-2 at the end of the year, Mr. Addison.  If you know what I mean.  Strictly cash. 


David:  Mr. Sorenson never planned on running for office, I guess.


Goddard smiles.  He wants to help but his hands are tied  - to a degree.


Goddard:  There is someone you could ask.  He was the tennis instructor for Jill and Lydia if she was coherent past eleven AM.  Anya and he were ... pretty close - very close; another reason why Jill didn't like her.  His name is Winthrop, Harrison Winthrop.  He is the tennis pro at the Los Angeles Country Club.  I see him there from time to time.  He didn’t age well.


Kid 3:  YAHTZEE!!


Kid 2:  It is not.


Kid 1:  You cheated ... that was your fourth roll. 


Kid 3:  No I didn't.


An all out fight ensues.  Mr. Goddard gets up and goes to quiet them down. 


David and Bert rise and cross over to the door.  


David:  Thank you for your time, Mr. Goddard. 


Goddard waves and continues to try to pull his grandchildren apart.


Outside the office.


Bert:  He knows a lot more than he is telling. 


David:  Very observant, Bert.  You are going to make a hell of a detective someday.  Why don't you follow up on the tennis pro?


Bert:  What will you be doing, sir?


David:  Going to check in with Mamma Bear. 


~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~

~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~



Scene 1


Hayes / Addison Kitchen


Maddie is drinking tea.  The remains of a breakfast are sitting next to her.  Behind her -- Hurricane Maddie has come blasting through the kitchen, ensuring that every pan and bowl has been used.  There is a ton of leftovers too.  She is reading the note pad she has in front of her, adding comments here and there.


David comes waltzing in whistling Spoonful of Sugar. 


In ev'ry job that must be done

There is an element of fun

You find the fun and snap!

The job's a game

And ev'ry task you undertake

Becomes a piece of cake

A lark! A spree! It's very clear to see that

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

The medicine go down-wown

Medicine go down


The whistling stops when he sees the disaster that is the kitchen. 


David:  Cooking, were we?


Maddie:  I made breakfast. 


David: (picking up a sausage from the pan) Did you call Hazmat to clean up this culinary feat?


Maddie:  I'll take care of it.


David:  You aren't supposed to do any heavy lifting ... probably shouldn't even be walking around.


Maddie:  You making a crack about my weight?


David: Eating for two I get. Cooking for thirty-two has me stumped.


He picks up a waffle and pours syrup directly on it.  It drips onto the counter and the floor before he can get it to his mouth. 


Maddie:  I can make you some eggs to go with that.


David:  I ate. 


David pours himself a glass of juice and spoons some of the potatoes onto a plate, where he places the rest of the waffle and two more sausages. 


David:  Is there any bacon?


Maddie:  (smiling) You were supposed to bring some home.


He grabs a couple more links.


David:  I'll go to the store later.   So I have to give you one more.


Maddie:  One more?


David:  Kids at work – not really gonna fly.


Maddie:  No, it won’t.   If we had a nanny, she would do more than just look after the baby… some light house work, light shopping,  more so as the baby gets older. 


David:  Does she need to live here to shop and cook? 


Maddie:  If she lives here, we wouldn't have to deal with car trouble, her kids being sick and keeping her home, plumbing issues or any of the other hundred or so reasons people don't make it to work every day.  Look at the issues we have at the office.


David:  What issues?  They show up every day.  There is less to do at the office than at home.


Maddie:  A live-in’s salary is less. 


David:  Money is not my issue. 


Maddie:  Money is an issue.


David:  The salary may be less but she will be living in our house, eating our food, driving your car – ‘cause she sure as hell isn't driving mine.


Maddie:  There are a lot of details to work out.


David:  You can say that again.


Maddie:  But you agree with hiring a nanny to take care of little Bunny in our home rather than daycare?


David:  I’m onboard with a nanny thing.  My options are live-in or live-out, right?


Maddie:  Finding the right person to watch our child is critical.  Do you agree with that?


David:  Agreed - but I don't think we'll find the next Mary Poppins. 


Maddie:  Can we agree that we ought to give ourselves the option of hiring a live-in?


David:  (reluctantly) The option.  


David looks over at her note pad which Maddie quickly flips over. 


David:  And that is?


Maddie:  Names of some nannies. 


David:  Why do you have names of some nannies?


Maddie:  So we'll know what to call them when they come for the interview.


The doorbell rings.  David drops his fork down on the plate loudly.  Maddie pulls her bulk to standing to go answer the door.


David:  Now?  They are coming for interviews now?  You were just going to hire a nanny without me, weren’t you?


Maddie:  I wasn’t going to hire anyone.  I was doing some … shall we say, reconnaissance. 


David:  Reconnaissance?  When did you have time?


Maddie:  I made a phone call.  Division of labor.  You were working the case, I could do the first pass of interviews – but since you’re here …   


David:  Good thing I came home to protect my closet space.


Maddie:  I’m always glad when you come home. 


David:  Why are we interviewing nannies before we've even met Bunny?


Maddie:  David this baby is coming – sooner rather than later – I want to be ready.


David:  Have you picked out his college yet? 


The doorbell rings again and Maddie leaves to answer it.


David:  You can’t give them a tour of the kitchen; they’ll run screaming for the hills.   


~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~



Scene 2

10:45 AM

Los Angeles Country Club


Bert walks into the club with a white sweater tied around his neck.  He has changed into shorts and is carrying a beat up tennis racket that David had in the closet at work.  He approaches a very good looking, very tan, very athletic man who is chatting up some cougars dripping in diamonds.  Bert interrupts the conversation.


Bert:  Are you Harrison Winthrop?


Winthrop turns around and scans Bert up and down.  It is clear that he is unimpressed. 


Bert:  Are you Harrison Winthrop?  I have a lesson with you. 


Winthrop:  There must be some mistake, I work for the club.  You need to be a member. 


Bert:  I am thinking about becoming a member … depending upon how the lesson goes. 


The women cackle in that old lady chicken way they have. 


Bert:  Jason Goddard suggested that I come. 


Winthrop's eyes grow dark and he tenses all over his body at the name Jason Goddard.


Winthrop:  If you will excuse me, ladies. 


Winthrop walks a distance away from the women and lowers his voice. 


Winthrop:  What do you want?  What does Goddard want? 


Clearly there is something going on between Winthrop and Goddard that Bert just stepped into. 


Bert:  I am looking for Anya, a nanny that used to work for the Sorensons about twenty years ago. 


Winthrop:  I know who Anya is, Mr.  ---  who are you?


Bert:  Herbert Quentin Viola, Blue Moon Investigations.


Winthrop:  You’re a PI.  Who hired you?


Bert:  Confidential.  Do you know her?


Winthrop:  Of course I know her.  What game is Goddard playing?  I'm making good on the debt ... I'll pay ever dime I owe.


Bert:  I don't work for Mr. Goddard.


Winthrop:  Her name is Waters.   She is married now and living in Studio City.  Her husband's name is Tim or Jim or Kim - one of those.


Bert:  Do you have an address? 


Winthrop:  You're a detective, you figure it out.  That's all you're getting from me.  When you talk to her, you can tell her to get off my damn back.  You can go.


~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~




Scene 3

11:00 AM

Hayes / Addison House


Maddie opens the door and is visibly surprised.  David rushes up behind her and is stopped dead in his tracks.   


A woman mid-twenties stands before them.  She has long stringy blonde hair parted in the middle with a crown of daisies encircling her head.  She wears small round dark purple glasses, bell bottom jeans with peace signs painted over strategic locations.  She has a tie dyed tank top that is way too tight, revealing that she is indeed a liberated woman and a jean jacket that has very elaborate embroidered mushrooms all over it. 


Maddie:  You must be ... (Maddie looks down at her notes) ... River's Love Song.


River's Love Song:  Wow man ... dig the size your baby belly.


She reaches out and puts her hands on Maddie's abdomen. 


River Love Song:  It's a boy.  I can tell.  Definite male vibes. I have a sense of these things.  Do you mind if I burn some sage? It is very cleansing and is a blessing on the house.


David:  No smoke…. sorry.






Maddie and David at the door.  David steps protectively in front of Maddie.


A young man who is barely eighteen dressed in tight black jeans, black sneakers and a black leather jacket with a bright red t-shirt with LONDON CALLING printed in big block white letter stands at the door.  His hair is jet black and clearly hasn't seen a brush in the last nine months.  His skin is so white that it is hard to believe he has ever been out in the daylight.  He doesn't notice that Maddie and David are standing there because he is head banging to his walkman and singing at the top of his voice.


Darling you got to let me know

Should I stay or shout I go?

If you say that you are mine

I'll be here 'til end of time

So you got to let me know

Should I stay or should I go?


David:  I got this one.


Maddie:  Mr. Summers?


The kid finally notices them.  He doesn't remove the earphones and shouts over the music in his ears.


Clash:  Hey - call me Clash.  Weren't they the best band ever?  Totally underrated.  Visionaries.  Before their time.


Always tease tease tease

You're happy when I'm on my knees

One day is fine, the next day is black

So if you want me off your back

Well come on and let me know

Should I stay or should I go?


David and Maddie exchange a look.


David: Should we flip a coin?




David steps back from the door, a little afraid of who he sees. 


A woman in her mid fifties stands before him.  Her hair is short cropped.  She is dressed in camouflage pants, boots and a tight brown t-shirt with USMC across the chest.  Dog tags hang around her neck.  She is solid as a rock.  Her upper body is so big that she can bench 250 without breaking a sweat and could snap David in half like a toothpick.


Master Sergeant:  Master Sergeant Winnie Maxwell, retired.  You can call me Maxwell or Master Sergeant. 


David:  Yes, ma'am.


Master Sergeant:  (snapping) Don't ma'am me, son.  I work for a living.  





Maddie is at the door.  On the other side is a little old lady.  She has got to be in her late sixties or early seventies.  She has blue hair with a little pill box hat, a print dress with a white lace collar, support hose, orthopedic shoes and a black patent leather purse over her arm.  She has a plate of cookies in one hand and a firm grip on her cane in the other.


Grammy:  Hello dearie.  I am Ruth Flanders, but call me Grammy.  You certainly look like you are ready to drop any day.  It's a good thing you called me.  You just leave everything to Grammy.  Have a cookie.


She starts to step up into the house and nearly loses her balance.  Maddie has to grab her arm to steady her. 


Grammy:  Thank you, dearie. You'll have to put in a ramp before I start working here, but I can take care of that.  My son is a contractor.  Well, he is out of work at the moment, but the injunction should be lifted soon.





David at the door.  His expression changes from annoyed to intrigued when he sees the next candidate.


Bambi:  (cooing) Hi.  Are you the man of the house?


David:  (surprised) Are you here about the nanny position?


Bambi:  I can be.  I am open to anything. 


Bambi is a solid 11 - with other measurements of 38-22-32 - blonde, blue and pearly white.  Her cups are running over the tiny tank top and her short shorts are so tight that they look painted on.  She has three inch spike heels that strap up to mid calf and a smile.  A 'costume' that is out of place on a cold November day in Los Angeles.


David:  You must be cold.


David tries to look everywhere but her chest.  She is eyeing him lustily, so lustily that it makes David uncomfortable - uncomfortable even for David pre-Maddie. 


Bambi:  Not any more. 


Maddie joins them.  She elbows David in the ribs. 


Maddie:  (lowly) Put your tongue back in your month.


David reflexively put his hand to his mouth and wraps his other around his pregnant ... partner. 


Bambi scans Maddie and sees no threat and no competition.  She smiles at David.


Bambi:  I see why you are looking for a live in.






Maddie and David are sitting together on the couch.  In Maddie's lap is the notepad with some questions she has written down.


Maddie:  Do you have any formal early childhood development or childcare training?



River's Love Song:  I don't believe in anything institutionalized.  All the information you need it life is in nature and people and love.


David looks over at Maddie's pad. 


David:  That's a no.




Clash:  Music is my teacher.  Everything is in the lyrics. Strummer and Jones were geniuses before their time.


Career opportunities are the ones that never knock

Every job they offer you is to keep you out the dock

Career opportunity, the ones that never knock


David:  Knock Knock.





Sergeant Major:  I am fully trained in hand-to-hand combat and four types of martial arts.  Pistol champion.  Rifle champion.  Distinguished marksman.  Master explosive ordnance disposal.  Master diver.  I have been a drill instructor at Camp Pendleton for the past six years with special focus on physical training and I have seen combat.


David:  Little Bunny doesn't stand a chance.






Grammy:  I have been raising children my whole life.  Sixteen of my own - nine still living - and too many grandchildren to count.   There is nothing more formal that real life experience.  Have a cookie.  It's OK. I was careful to make sure not to mix up the Ex-lax with the chocolate chips this time.





Bambi:  (Giggles) I finished the tenth grade.  I got my first modeling job for Victoria’s Secret - actually it was Victor's Secret and there were no actual clothes being modeled - if you know what I mean.


David:  I know exactly what you mean.  June, wasn't it?  Puppy dogs and snowcones?


Maddie ribs him again.


Bambi:  I just need something to fill in before my acting takes off. And a place to live would be just awesome - totally.




David looks over at Maddie's notes for the next question and points to one. 


Maddie:  Do you believe in letting babies cry?


River's Love Song:  Crying is the only way that babies can express themselves.  And I am all about free expression.




Clash:  That won't bother me, man. I'll just turn up the music.


The sharif don't like it

Rockin' the Casbah

Rock the Casbah

By order of the prophet

We ban that boogie sound

Degenerate the faithful

With that crazy Casbah sound


David:  One way to go.




Sergeant Major:  I run a tight ship.  There will be no crying.





Grammy:  I've raised so many children that if I picked each one of them up when he cried, I'd never get anything done. 




Bambi:  I don't like babies.  Will there be babies in this job?  They smell and there is goo coming from all ends.  Ew.




Maddie checks her notes looking for a next question.  David leaps in.


David:  Why are you looking for a new position?


River's Love Song:  New position?  I never had an old position.  This will be the first job I have ever had that pays money.  It will pay money, right?  It's not just room and board.  Though that could work too.  The room is big enough for my soul mate too.  We don't need much space - enough for a bed and my lava lamp. We don't get up before noon.




Clash:  My dad kicked me out of the house, but I've got a kick ass stereo. 





Sergeant Major:   I have been working with young men and women for the past two decades.  Get them when they are just about to be adults and they are already screwed up.  Want to get my hands on a kid before the parents get a chance to coddle him and make him weak.  I want to raise a real marine.





Grammy:  My daughter-in-law won't let me back in her house after the fire. I think she’s had it out for me ever since I wrecked the car taking little Billy to the hospital when he fell off the top bunk and broke his arm.





Bambi:  Like I said, I'm between acting gigs right now and I don't want to go back to Hooters.  The grease gets in my hair and the manager is all hands - if you know what I mean.    





David closes the door as that last candidate leaves.  He is very amused; Maddie not so much.


David:  We can always leave little Bunny in the woods to be raised by wolves.


Maddie:  This was only the first group.


David:  Great ... there's more. 


Maddie:  I will call a different agency.  Clearly the screening process is not as thorough as they reported. 


David:  Ya think? 


Maddie:  It was very short notice.  I only called today.  This is why we have to start early. 


David:  If that is the group we have to choose from, we should have started years ago.  Though Bambi had her ... assets.


Maddie: We won't be hiring Bambi to take care of our baby. 


David:  (grinning) How about to take care of me?


Maddie:  That's my job. 


David:  You've been taking some time off. 


Maddie wraps her arms around David and presses her belling into him. 


Maddie:  No time off for me, doll.  I'm working on your next generation.  And just you wait until I am back in fighting form.


David:  (wrapping his arms around her) Yeah?


Maddie leans in and whispers something in his ear. 


David: OH Mamma ... you can spank me and put me to bed without supper anytime.


Maddie:  (cooing and pouting like Bambi) Only when you've been a very bad, bad boy.


They kiss.  The phone interrupts them - thankfully.  David reluctantly goes to answer it singing.


London calling to the faraway towns

Now that war is declared and battle comes down

London calling to the underworld

Come out of the cupboard, all you boys and girls 


Maddie:  Why don't you tell me about the case?


David:  You're coming with me.  You'll like it.  There's a nanny.


~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~

~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~


Act IV

Scene 1

3:00 PM

Anya Waters' House


David gets Maddie up to speed as they drive to Studio City.  They park a few doors down and walk up the tree lined street.  A car passes them and pulls into the driveway of their intended location.  A woman in her mid to late forties gets out of the car.  There are two children under the age of four in the back seat.  The woman helps them out of their car seats.  She directs them to the front door and they are met by a younger woman, clearly the children's mother.  The kids run inside.  The woman turns back to the car to retrieve the groceries. 


David:  Excuse me, are you Anya Waters?


Anya:  Who are you?


David:  I am David Addison, this is Maddie Hayes.  We're from Blue Moon Investigations. 


Anya turns toward Maddie and smiles brightly in recognition. 


Anya:  It is a pleasure to meet you Ms Hayes.  I used to buy Blue Moon shampoo and loved your ads. 


Maddie:  Thank you.


Anya:  What can I do for you?


David:  We were asked to find you by Jack Sorenson. 


Anya's expression goes from pleasant to dark and sad.  She again smiles at Maddie.


Anya:  You look like you could sit down.  Let's go inside. 


Maddie:  Thank you. 


Anya:  You are due any day now.


Maddie:  Yes. 


Anya:  I know how anxious you must be. 


Anya grabs two bags of groceries, David grabs the rest. 


Anya:  Thanksgiving.  I can't believe it's this week.  Seems like only yesterday we were celebrating the Fourth of July. 


Maddie:  Time does go quickly. 


Anya directs them into the house.  She suggests that Maddie take a seat in the living room and has David follow her to the kitchen with the bags.  The younger woman and the kids are in the kitchen.


David and Anya return to the living room. 


Anya:  May I get you anything?  Coffee?  Tea?  We have some fresh baked pies. 


Maddie:  No, thank you. 


Anya:  We will have a full house this week.  My son is flying in with his family tomorrow and my daughter and her family arrived just today.  It is nice to have your family close around the holidays. 


Maddie:  Yes it is.


Anya:  Your first child? 


Maddie:  Yes.  A bit of a late start. 


Anya:  I was very young when I had my first.  Unmarried.  Alone.  The father wasn't in the picture.  It was a difficult time but we made due.  If you know Jack Sorenson, you know that I work as a nanny and have for nearly three decades.  Spent so much time raising other people's children that I had very little time for my own. That is a regret that I live with every day. The time goes by so quickly.  Most of the families I worked for over the years didn't appreciate that precious time and that they would never get it back. 


Anya looks misty and sad.  She turns her attention toward the kitchen at her grandchildren and smiles sadly. 


Anya:  How is Jack?  I hear he has been ... troubled. 


David:  I only met him briefly.  He seemed anxious to see you. 


Anya:  After all this time. I thought he had forgotten me. 


David:  He wants to see you, but I told him if you were not interested, that we would not disclose your location. 


Anya looks at David puzzled.


Anya:  I am not in hiding, Mr. Addison.  I have nothing to hide.  Jack Sorenson was the first baby I had charge of.  His mother ... His mother was ... I don't like to speak ill of anyone, but that woman was selfish, mean and cold.  I don't think she picked Jack up once in the whole eight years I was there.  I don't think she ever touched the child.  The daughter, Jill, was just like Mrs. Sorenson.  I tried with her.  I tried to be her friend, but she was just mean.  Jack was just the opposite.  He was sensitive and sweet. The most darling child you would ever want to know.  I was scared for him when I left - I knew that family would eat him alive. 


Maddie:  Why did you leave? 


Anya:  The truth of the matter is a lot less sordid than the rumors.  The truth was that I got pregnant and Mrs. Sorenson was not about to have a pregnant nanny in her house.


Maddie and David share a look.


Anya:  I know what you are thinking - everyone thought it.  Mr. Sorenson is not my son's father.  He would have been a much better father than the real one. 


David takes a leap in logic. 


David:  Harrison Winthrop.


Anya:  Yes.  You've met him?


David:  Not personally.  My associate did. 


Anya:  We make a lot of mistakes in our youth. 


David:  Yes we do. 


Anya:  Harrison was mine.  He couldn't get away fast enough when I told him I was pregnant.  He told Jill Sorenson.  She didn't like me to begin with, but this was her opportunity to get me out of the house.  She blackmailed him.  She was sixteen at the time.  She was the one who told her mother that I was pregnant and pointed the finger at her father.  Harrison backed her up.  He had to.  He was sleeping with her too.  He would have gone to jail if she told anyone.  My only regret leaving that house was little Jack.  Jill pressured him into lying for her too; I'm sure that haunted him.  Poor boy.


Maddie:  It must have been ---


Anya:  It was a very rude awakening for a very naive girl, Ms Hayes.  I'm sure you've put your trust in people who did not deserve it.


Maddie nodded. 


Anya:  Family is the only thing that matters in life.  I have regrets, but I love my son and my daughter and we are finally getting to a place where we can put our past mistakes behind us - at least what we can't learn from. 


Maddie:  You are still working as a nanny?


Anya:  Yes.  I'm good at it, but now I focus on helping mothers bond with their children.  I consider myself a facilitator.  For too many years I took charge of the children while the mothers went on about their lives like nothing had changed; that a baby wouldn't change their life.  Mrs. Sorenson was by far the worst, and Jill was the worst example of what the lack of a mother's love could mean to a child.  There are all kinds of ways that parents can neglect their children. 


Maddie seems affected by Anya's speech. 


Anya:  Tell me about Jack. 


David:  He wants to meet you.  We can facilitate that. 


Anya:  I'd like that. I'd like that very much.  I'm glad he remembers me.  



~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~

Act IV

Scene 2

4:00 PM

In the Lexus


Maddie was silent and looking out the window as they drove back to the office.  David was becoming concerned. 


David:  Maddie?


Maddie:  Do you think she is right?  Do you think parents neglect their children?  Am I being selfish for wanting to go back to work after the baby is born? 


David:  I don't think that that was what Anya was saying. 


Maddie:  This baby is going to change my whole life. 

David:  Our life ... it will change our life and we knew that. 


Maddie:  A baby isn't a new toy at Christmas.  It's not like we can put him on the shelf when we are done playing with him.  A child is a day in day out responsibility for the next eighteen years - at least.


David:  We knew that too. 


Maddie:  We can't even walk the dog every day. How are we going to take care of a baby?


David:  Way too late to start thinking about exchanging him. 


Maddie:  So what, we turn the baby over to a stranger so she can take care of him and we go on with our daily lives?  What happens when the kid grows up and turns out to be a stranger or someone we don't like?  Is that our fault or can we blame the person we hired to take care of him?


David:  Maddie.  Maddie.  Maddie. 


Maddie:  I'm serious David.  You met those people today -- would you want anyone one of them to have any influence on or child?


David:  Well, the Sergeant Major would certainly keep him fit.


Maddie:  If you aren't going to talk about this seriously, then we shouldn't talk at all.


David:  I'm serious.  What do you want me to say?  Yes, our life is going to change.  Yes, Bunny should be the center of our world.  But I don't think hiring someone to help change a diaper, give a bath or make sure he doesn't burn the house down makes us evil or bad parents.  I suspect that I'll be doing my share of diaper changing - but it takes a lot more than that to be a parent. 


Maddie:  Do you know anything about being a parent?


David:  Not yet, but I'm a fast learner - and you - Blondie Blonde, are too.  And yes, we will make a mistake or two ... hell I would bet we would make more than two, but that still won't make us bad parents.


~ | ~ | ~  ~ | ~ | ~

Act IV

Scene 3

5:00 PM

Blue Moon Offices


Anya follows Maddie into her office. 


Maddie:  We can wait in my office. 


Anya:  How long will you be able to take off after your baby is born?


Maddie: I was originally thinking about six weeks but it might be longer. 


Anya:  You own the company, correct? 


Maddie:  David and I are partners in that as well. 


Anya:  You are very lucky to be your own boss.  It will allow you a great deal of freedom.  Have you thought about childcare? 


Maddie was reluctant to answer. 


Maddie:  I was considering a nanny actually. 


Anya:  I realize that this is my ... profession ... but I think that individual care is always preferable than a formal daycare if you can afford it.  My sister helped me when my children were small and her mother-in-law helped too.  Money was tight.


Maddie: You don't think that mothers should stay home with their children?


Anya:  In a perfect world that might work and if the mother has that desire.  I believe in balance and quality vs. quantity.  There is also practicality.  I had to work.  I suspect that this business will not run itself, so you will have to work.  Since you are both working on a Saturday, I assume that the hours are not regular.


Maddie:  Hardly. 


Anya:  I don't know if you have the facilities for it, but have you considered a live-in nanny. 


Maddie:  I have. 


Anya:  I'm sure I gave the impression that I hated my time with the Sorensons, but that is not true.  The first six and a half years I felt like part of the family.  Jill and I didn't get along, but you don't always have the luxury of liking your family.  Mrs. Sorenson was absent most of the time so the environment wasn't always toxic.  It was a great experience.  I was sorry to see it end.  I have helped raise nine other children - not my own - and I have a wonderful relationship with all of them and their families.  I have been very lucky.  I really enjoy my work.  Jill and Jack were my only regrets.  I was never able to help Jill, but maybe Jack and I can form so sort of relationship. 


Maddie:  What happened to Jill?


Anya:  She died in a car accident ... but if it wasn't that, it would have been an overdose or some other tragic event. I blame her mother.  Jill never had a chance.  At least I was there to help Jack. 


Maddie:  Are you looking for a job?


Anya laughed. 


Anya:  At the moment I have a position and I don't do live-in, but I do know some very capable people who might be a good fit.  I will get you their information. 


Maddie:  I'd appreciate that.


There was a knock on the door and the women look up to see David and Jack Sorenson standing in the door way.  Anya and Jack meet in the middle of the room.  She looks at him for a long moment before pulling him into a tight embrace.  He hugs her back as if he has found his mother. 



Act V - Epilogue

7:00 PM

Hayes / Addison House


Maddie:  Dinner was great, thank you. 


David kisses her. 


David:  This won't be our last date night, you know. 


Maddie:  I know - but for a while a least. 


David:  So interesting case, huh? 


Maddie:  Timely and topical. 


David:  You don't think that was by design do you?


Maddie:  Nahhhhhh. 


David:  So you still think that we should be looking for a live in nanny?


Maddie:  I think we should look for someone to help us with the custodial responsibilities of our child but we should leave our options open to live-in, live-out and when we bring that person in.  I think you and I can handle it for the first six weeks. 


David:  (panicked) I thought your mother was coming out. 


Maddie: Don't worry.  She'll be here for the birth and when we come home from the hospital. 


David:  So ... you need to tell me something? 


Maddie:  Anything. 


David:  Wow ... sorry I am going to waste that on this - when were you going to tell me about the apartment over the garage? 


Maddie:  Huh?


David:  Did you know that the Sorensons owned this house before you did? 


Maddie:  They did not.


David leads her over to the French doors and points to the garage apartment 


David:  Anya worked here.  She lived here with the Sorensons.  She had an apartment over the garage. 


Maddie:  That is just too strange. 


David:  A little convenient - but it happens. 


Maddie:  Not really.


David:  So how long were you going to let me think that our nanny would be sleeping down the hall in the guest room? 


Maddie smiles. 


Maddie:  Until I got the apartment fixed up.  It needs some work.  I have a call in to Milo.


David:  Million Dollar Milo?  We can't afford him.


Maddie:  David, the place needs some work. It had been abandoned since before I moved in.


David:  So let's go see it. 


Maddie:  What?


David:  The apartment.  Let's go see it. 


Maddie:  Why, you thinking about moving in?


David:  And leave your bed ... not on a bet.  But let's see what this place looks like. 



The Garage Apartment


Maddie opens the door with David's help.  Clearly no one has opened that door in years. 


Maddie:  It's not huge but there is a bedroom, bathroom, small kitchenette and living space. 


David is impressed.


David:  A coat of paint, some dusting ... a window whatchamacallit. 


Maddie is not so sure. 


Maddie:  It will need a bit more than that.


David:  Nothing I can't handle ... I've got some energy that I need to get out ... pounding a few nails and sanding a few walls would be very therapeutic.


Maddie looks around the place. 


Maddie:  This might be above your pay grade David.  Let me ask Milo to take care of it. 


David: You don't think I can do this? 


Maddie wraps her arms around him. 


Maddie:  You can do anything you set your mind to. 


David: I got you didn't I?


Maddie:  Yes, you did.


They kiss. 


Maddie: Let's go to bed ... we don't have to sleep.  We can just cuddle, maybe you can read me a bedtime story. 


David:  I'm with that. 


Maddie exits and David takes one last look around. 


David:  Piece of cake. 


Maddie: Come on, Dad.  Or are you still going with Pappy?


David:  You can call me anything as long as you call me to bed.


David closes the door on the mess.  Tomorrow.  He'll get started on it tomorrow. 





Music Cues:


From Mary Poppins:


Chim Chim Cheree


A Spoon Full of Sugar



From The Clash:


Should I Stay or Should I Go


Career Opportunities


Rock the Casbah





To Glen, Bruce, Cybill and the rest of the Moonlighting cast and crew.  Without your inspiration we would not be here twenty-two years later.  There has been no equal.  Thank you.


To my fellow writers - Diane, Connie and Jen - thanks for allowing me the opportunity to play along.  It's an honor and a privilege.     


To Diane - our leader, my editor, my friend for more than a decade - thank you so much.  You are the push behind this whole project.  I admire your perseverance and wish some of it would rub off on me.  Thank you.