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Virtual Moonlighting

Season 10: Episode 13


“Whatever Happened to …”   Part 2



Act 1

Blue Moon Detective Agency

Maddie’s Office

Around Noon


Maddie and David stare at each other for a moment, which seems like a lifetime.  David breaks the silence.


David:  Wait….you’ve got my attention.  Now calm down.  What do you mean Sunny and Ellie are missing?


Maddie:  Don’t tell me to calm down….they’re missing…gone…I don’t know where they are.


David:  They’re not at home?


Maddie:  I just called the house to speak to Sunny, and Carmen said they are not there.  Sunny took the baby to the market almost three hours ago.  Three hours, David.  I know something is wrong.


David:  Let’s not panic.  She might have just had some errands to run.


Maddie:  She didn’t.  She told Carmen that they would be home in about an hour.  It’s Ellie’s nap time…Sunny would never deliberately throw her off her schedule.


David:  Stuff happens.  Did you try her car phone?


Maddie:  Of course I did…just before I came in here.  It just rang and rang.


David:  Did you ask Carmen about the security company?


Maddie:  She said that one of them was outside the house in a car, and one of them went to the market with Sunny and the baby.  David, what if he isn’t really a security guard…he could have taken them and……


David:  Maddie…stop.  I know you are worried but this is a trusted security agency, and the men have been here all weekend.


Maddie:  You’re not at all concerned about where your daughter is?


David:  Of course I’m concerned.  There’s just no point in flying off the handle.  Let’s do this…get the number of the security company, and we’ll call them.  I am certain that if anything were wrong, they would know about it.  At the very least, they can get in touch with the man who went with them.


The intercom buzzes.  David picks up the phone.


David:  Yes, Agnes.


Agnes:  I have Sunny on the line, calling for Ms. Hayes.


David:  Put her through please, Agnes.


Maddie:  Put her on the speaker, David.


Sunny’s voice comes over the speaker.


Sunny:  Maddie?


David and Maddie both speak at once.


David:  We’re both here, Sunny.


Maddie (a little hysterically):  Where are you?  Are you okay?


Sunny laughs a little, while Maddie and David exchange looks.


Sunny:  How did you know?  It was so stupid.  I was getting Ellie out of the car.  I had to put her carrier in the seat of the shopping cart.  The car door slammed shut behind me, with the keys still in the ignition.


Maddie:  Oh my God, was Ellie in the car?


Sunny:  Oh no, she was safe in the carrier.  It was dumb on my part to leave the keys in the car.  I was pretty grateful that the man from the security company was with us.  We called AAA and then sat in the café next to the market…you know, Maddie, the one where we had our first lunch.


Maddie:  But you were so late. Carmen said you had been gone for almost three hours.


Sunny:  There must have been a lot of stupid going around this morning.  AAA took ninety minutes to get there, and then we still had to do the shopping.


Maddie:  I just called your car phone about ten minutes ago.


Sunny:  I heard it ringing.  I was taking Ellie back into the house.  She was very late for her nap and a little fussy.  When I got inside, Carmen told me you had called, and here I am.


Maddie:  But why didn’t you call when it happened?


Sunny:  You guys, remember, I raised three kids mostly on my own, and handled lots of things.  This wasn’t an emergency – it was merely a small bump in the road.  I’m sorry if I alarmed you, but I never would have expected you would even be looking for me.  You normally don’t call till after lunch.


Maddie sounds a little shaky.


Maddie:  You were gone for such a long time.  With all this stuff with Sawyer…


Her voice trails off.


Sunny:  Oh Maddie, I never even thought.  I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.


Maddie:  I know you didn’t mean to.  I guess we’re all a little on edge. 


David:  Oh well.  All’s well that ends.  As long as you and the princess are okay.


Sunny:  She’s fine…in fact, she’s sleeping like an angel.


David:  Give her a kiss for us.  We’ll talk to you when we get home.


He disconnects the call.  He looks at Maddie – she is clearly still upset.


David stretches out his arms.


David:  C’mere.


She walks over and leans against him.  Folding her into his arms, he can feel her heart slamming against his chest.


David:  Maddie.  Ssssshit’s fine.  She’s fine, everybody’s fine.


Maddie:  I’ve never been so scared.  All I could envision was Sawyer’s sneering face, and I knew I would have to kill him if he put even a finger on my child.


David:  I know, baby, I know.


She looks up at him trustingly, yet sensing something.


Maddie:  But it’s not over yet, is it?


David:  Well, there are a few things you need to know.  Let’s go sit down.


They sit on the sofa, clasping hands.


David:  Right before you came in, I got a call from Smitty.  Your gut instinct about Sawyer was right on.


Maddie:  What has he done?


David:  It’s more like, what hasn’t he done?  It appears your old friend Sawyer has not been content living high on the hog on other people’s money.  It is pretty certain that he has expanded into the smuggling business.


Maddie:  Drugs?


David:  No, something that is just as lucrative – antiquities.  Valuable pre-Columbian art, jewels, South American family treasures.  He removes them from the country and sells them overseas…well, not him actually.  He has a group of henchmen who do his dirty work.


Maddie:  But he has millions – and that casino.


David:   He now owns four casinos.  It appears that nothing is enough for him.


Maddie:  So you’re saying he’s really dangerous?


David:  I’m afraid so.  His cartel of smugglers has been accused of some really bad stuff – including kidnapping and murder.


Maddie:  Murder!


David:  Again, he keeps his hands clean, but clearly he’s moved to the dark side.


Maddie:  But these people, these murderers, work for him.  He condones their actions, which makes him just as guilty.


David:  Well that’s what the authorities have spent the last couple of days trying to figure out.  Most of what they have against him is circumstantial.


Maddie:  Great.


David:  Well, they’ve come up with something.  They know he is not in the U.S. legally, so the Feds and Interpol are going to pick him up for a passport violation.


Maddie:  Pick him up where?


David:  They’ve been staking out the hospital.  He always arrives to see his mother exactly at the beginning of visiting hours.


He looks at his watch.


David:  In fact, it should be over by now if all went well.


Maddie:  David – he’ll know it was me that gave them the information.


David:  That’s not necessarily true.


Maddie:  Well, it would have to be a hell of a coincidence for him not to know it was me.


David:  Honey, let’s not worry about it.  Hopefully, he’s in custody right now, and will shortly be winging his way back to a South American jail.


Maddie:  Him in any jail is a picture I’d be happy to keep in my head for the rest of my life.


David:  See, it may take a while, but every dog does have his day.


Maddie:  Yeah, but unless you’re the lead dog, the view never changes.


She smiles, then continues.


Maddie:  Funny, it’s been almost ten years since he took all my money.  At first, I wanted to kill him – well, you know.


David:  Hell hath no fury.


Maddie:  But until I saw him the other day, I really hadn’t thought of him in a couple years.


David:  You don’t say.


Maddie:  The other day, in the parking garage, when he was being so cocky…I told him I had everything that I wanted, and that he was welcome to the money.


David:  You did, huh?


She leans into him.


Maddie:  Strange paths your life takes.  I guess I had to lose what I thought was everything to find what really mattered.


She smiles up at him with bright eyes.


Maddie:  Just in case I forget to mention it – I love you and I love our life.


David (kidding):  You mean you’re happy?


Maddie:  Almost obscenely so.


David:  So, if we could just get you to stop worrying so much, things would be perfect.


She kisses him sweetly.


Maddie:  They’re pretty close to perfect now.


David kisses her, prolonging it.


David:  That’s a pretty nice appetizer, Hayes.  I’m looking forward to the entrée.


Maddie:  And there’s always dessert.


David looks at his watch, tapping on it.


David:  I think this darned thing is broken…it’s gotta be time to go home.


Maddie:  Not quite, Ferris Bueller.  Way too early.


She continues without rewarding his pleading expression.


Maddie:  Monica faxed over my agenda for Thursday and Friday.  It’s going to be hectic.  Lots of talk shows and live interviews.


David:  I think I’d better tag along…in case you run into any Lakers’ cheerleaders.


Maddie grins slyly.


Maddie:  Not a chance.  But I did hear that George Clooney is going to be on Regis and Kathie Lee with me on Thursday.


David:  I thought you weren’t traveling.  They’re in New York.


Maddie laughs.


Maddie:  Haha…I never would have pegged you as a closet Regis fan.  You must have missed the day they said they are doing a week’s worth of shows here in Los Angeles.


David:  I plead the 5th.


Maddie:  Anyway, my agenda says something about celebrity twister.


David:  Absolutely not.  You are a mother, no pressing your body up against strangers.  Right foot blue indeed.


Maddie:  Why do I have a feeling it would be a different story if the game involved you and Kathleen Turner?


David:  Mmmmm….that’s what I love about you, Ms. Hayes.  I’m still allowed to hang on to a few of the old fantasies.


Maddie:  As long as they don’t become realities.


David:  Well, I have to say, if that Kathleen Turner thing is an option, I’m taking a sick day.


Maddie:  Cheer up, you’ll probably be able to do some star watching…a.k.a. ogling…at the Blue Moon party.  If you’d like, I can get the guest list from Monica for you.


David:  Why would I want to ogle when I’ll be with the prettiest girl in the room?


The intercom buzzes.  David walks over to the desk.


David:  Star Search.


Agnes:  Mr. Addison, Detective Smith is on the phone.


David:  Put him through, Agnes.


He picks up the handset as Maddie carefully observes.


David:  Smitty, give me the good news.


He listens for a moment.


David:  Son of a ……yeah, I hear ya….Well, that would be great, but how do you know?...Yeah, she’s here with me right now.  I’ll tell her…, it may be good news, there’s a definite difference there…. I think we’ll need some time to mull it all over.  I’ll call you tonight.  Thanks, Brother.


David hangs up the phone, turning a bit, so he is almost with his back to Maddie.  We can see that he is masking his reactions…trying to pull his thoughts together.


Maddie:  David…what?


He turns to her, and gives her a half smile.


David:  You may want to hang onto that worrying thing a little bit longer.


Maddie:  Why, what happened?


David:  It’s what didn’t happen.  Sawyer never showed at the hospital.


Maddie:  Is that good or bad in Smitty’s opinion?


David:  Who knows.  Sawyer could have just finished up his visit and left.


Maddie:  OR?


David:  Or he might have made the people hanging around the hospital for the last few days.


Maddie:  So, he could know they were waiting for him?


David:  Possibly.  But Smitty said that, if that were the case, he probably hightailed it out of here.


Maddie:  How could he get out?


David:  He’s still gotta be traveling on the fake passport.  He can’t be traced by name.


Maddie:  But wouldn’t his picture have been distributed?


David:  Remember, they still don’t have anything concrete against him, so I am sure they couldn’t put out any kind of an APB.


Maddie:  But Sawyer wouldn’t know that.


David:  Smitty says the theory is that if he knew he was hot, he went underground and got himself back into South America real fast.


Maddie:  That’s not a real guarantee.


David:  Nope.  They talked to his mother and brother – got nowhere.  Mom seems to believe her son is a fine upstanding citizen…the Doctor Schweitzer of Buenos Aires.  Brother on the other hand knows Sawyer is a jerk – but seems to have no idea about any criminal activities.


Maddie:  Won’t they try to contact him?


David:  Sssssh…phone taps are in place.


Maddie:  So we don’t actually know anything.


David:  Not until we get word that he’s back in his casino fleecing tourists.


Maddie:  Not sure what is worse…knowing or not knowing.


David:  The extra security stays in place until we’re sure.


Maddie:  And the Blue Moon events?


David:  We need to think about that seriously.  Smitty wanted me to tell you that it is extremely unlikely that Sawyer would jeopardize everything he has by staying here.


Maddie:  My mind gets that, but that still doesn’t make me feel secure.


David:  Why don’t we let all this sink in for a little bit?  I am re-proposing the early dismissal idea.  Let’s go home and play with the Bunny…and we’ll talk about this later tonight.


Maddie:  I’ll get my purse.


David:  Wow, that was fast…no argument?


Maddie:  I figured since you and the nine stooges will be running this place for a while...we may as well chalk this up to a lost week.


David:  Not funny.


Maddie:  No, it’s not.  But I would like to go home and see my baby…our baby.


David kisses her softly.


David:  Go get your purse… and of course, give Agnes and Napoleon their marching orders.


Maddie leaves.  David walks over to the picture on the wall, and swings it aside to reveal a wall safe.


He opens it and removes a small revolver.  He holds it in his hand, staring at it for a moment.  He closes the safe, and tucks the gun in his waistband at the belt buckle.  He takes some bullets from a box and drops them into his jacket pocket.


He looks down and realizes exactly where the trajectory of the gun points.


David:  Whoa…that’s not a pretty picture.


He slides the gun around to his back.


David:  Better safe than sorry…in more ways than one.


Maddie peeks her head into the office.


Maddie:  Ready?


David:  Now I am.


They exit as we:





Act 2

Scene 1

Hayes/Addison Home

About 3:30 that afternoon


David and Maddie enter the house, and walk into the living room.  Sunny is sitting on the sofa with Ellie on her lap, and reading to her.


Sunny:    And good night to the old lady whispering “hush”.

              Good night, stars.  Good night air.


David:  Good night, noises everywhere.


Sunny looks up and smiles, and Ellie’s head turns at the sound of his voice.


Sunny:  Look who’s here, Ellie.  We weren’t expecting you two for a while.


Maddie:  I know…we just weren’t much in the mood for working today.


David:  Sunny, I swear that excuse has never, EVER worked for me before.


Sunny lays down the book and Ellie bounces in her arms, as Maddie reaches to take the baby.


Maddie holds Ellie close, and buries her face in the baby’s little neck.  David and Sunny exchange glances.


Ellie suffers Maddie’s loving for a moment, and then starts to wriggle.  David to the rescue.  He scoops the baby out of Maddie’s arms and swings her around.  Ellie grins.


David (singing):  She flies through the air with the greatest of ease…..


Sunny walks over to stand beside Maddie and they watch father and daughter.


Sunny:  Maddie, I just wanted to tell you again how sorry I am that you got upset this morning.


Maddie:  I was a little shook up.  But I know it is unrealistic of me to expect you to report your every movement to us.  We trust you implicitly and know you’re doing the best thing for all of us.  It’s just this Sawyer thing.


Her voice trails away.


Sunny:  I know.  But I know my limitations, Maddie, and I’m not reluctant to ask for help when I need it.


Maddie:  Believe me, I understand that.  But I just wanted you to know – something that David reminded me of this morning – We’re a family unit here, and we’re all in it together.  It’s good to need…and to be needed.


Sunny:  I feel very supported and very much a part of your family.  You and David are wonderful people, and your daughter is a dream.


Maddie:  She really is a happy child and we owe a lot of that to you.  We’re so lucky you are in our lives.


Maddie puts her arm around Sunny’s shoulder and squeezes.  Sunny seems a little surprised by the gesture, but pleased.


Sunny:  Okay, enough with this patting ourselves on the back.


David and Ellie are sitting on a blanket on the floor.  The baby is propped up against his knee.  Miss Me runs into the room, and approaches them, clearly in play mode.  The dog grabs the end of David’s hanging tie, and scampers away with it.


David:  Hey, come back here you.  That’s not the way you treat Armani.


Miss Me runs back and forth, the tie flying.  She edges too close to David and he grabs the end of the tie.  Man and dog commence a tug of war.


David:  Let go, beast.  C’mon, that’s my best tie.


They continue to tug, Miss Me swinging from side to side.


Ellie watches the scenario for a moment, then lets out a giggle, which turns into a full fledged laugh.  She waves her arms and reaches for the dog.


David looks down at her, disillusioned, the tie forgotten.


David:  Seriously?  All the good material I have wasted on you, little miss, and this is how you thank me?  The dog gets your first laugh?


Sunny and Maddie are trying hard to hide their amusement, finally dissolving into laughter.  Ellie, hearing the sounds, looks up into David’s face and laughs again.  David shakes his head, disgusted.


David:  Sure, now you’re going to be like a laughing hyena.


Maddie:  Poor David.


He picks up Ellie, and holds her out towards Maddie.


David:  It’s your fault…I’m surrounded by women…perverse, every one of you.


The dog barks.


David:  Even you!


Sunny:  How about I take her and you two can get comfortable?  I was putting together a little something for dinner.  We’ll finish that, and I will get her fed.


Maddie:  Thanks, Sunny.


Sunny walks away, holding the baby.  Ellie looks back at David, giggling.


David:  Yeah…get out of here.  You little traitor, you…


Maddie walks up behind him and puts her arms around his waist, pulling herself against his back.


Maddie:  Poor David…thrown over by another –


She stops suddenly.


Maddie:  David, what is that in your pants?


David:  You new here?  Pretty sure you know the answer to that question.


Maddie:  David, I’m not kidding.  Is that a gun I felt?


David:  Can’t fool you.


He pulls it out of his pants, and brandishes it, Charlie’s Angel’s style.


Maddie:  Don’t wave that thing around.  What are you doing with a gun?


David:  Maddie, you know I’ve got a gun.  It’s been in the office safe for years.


Maddie:  Having it in the office safe is a hell of a lot different than having it in our living room.  You had it there while you were on the floor, playing with the baby.  What if it had gone off?


David:  I’m certainly not that stupid.  There are no bullets in it.


Maddie:  Why do you need an unloaded gun?


David:  If I need it, it won’t be unloaded.


He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a handful of bullets.  Several fall out of his hands onto the carpet.


Maddie glares at them.


Maddie:  Great…we can have the baby teething on metal cylinders filled with gunpowder.


David leans down, retrieves the bullets, and redeposits them in his pocket.


David:  Don’t worry…no guns or ammo anywhere near the Bunny.


Maddie:  You can say that again.


David:  What?


Maddie:  They won’t be anywhere near her because I will not have a gun in this house.


David:  Ho ho ho…..did I miss another discussion?


Maddie:  I guess it came right after the one we had about you bringing home a concealed weapon.


David:  A concealed weapon…oh, for Pete’s sake –


Maddie jumps in, vehemently.


Maddie:  Yes, concealed…if it wasn’t concealed, what was it doing in the back of your pants?


David laughs.


David:  I didn’t like the odds when I had it tucked into the front.


Maddie (infuriated):  This isn’t funny!  What kind of an idiot are you, bringing a gun into a house with a child?


David:  I dunno, maybe the kind of idiot who is concerned about his family.


The volume is starting to rise.


Maddie:  What kind of concern could ever make you think you would need a gun?


David:  Sawyer….threats….murder -- raise your hand if any of this rings a bell.


Maddie:  Don’t be stupid.  It’s not your job to go after Sawyer, gun or no gun. 


David (gritting his teeth):  Maybe you should slow down and speak in short sentences.  Did you say it’s not my job to protect you and Ellie from Sawyer?


They are almost nose to nose, eyes smouldering.


Maddie:  Protecting us from Sawyer is a job for the authorities.  You are as much a victim in this as I am…if there is a risk, the risk is to all of us, together. 


Now it’s David’s turn to shout.


David:  Victim?  If you’d think I’d let that beady eyed son of a Brillo pad make me a victim, you don’t know me well enough.


Maddie:  Oh, I know you plenty.


David:  Yeah?


Maddie:  But what I don’t know is why you would bring a gun here without discussing it with me.


David:  I did it spur of the moment.  And I probably would have told you.  But I don’t regret doing it.


Maddie:  Back up…probably?


David:  Maybe not, if I knew you were going to react like this.


Maddie:  And how would you have me react?


David:  How about by trying to understand how I am feeling about this whole thing?


Maddie:  No dice, David.  I just can’t understand.  It’s just stupid to have a gun in the house with a baby.


David:  Would you like to go back and count how many times you’ve called me stupid today?


Maddie:  I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m saying it’s a stupid idea.


David:  Well, it’s my idea, so I guess if the stupid fits…


Maddie:  I have no rebuttal to that.


David:  Oh, you can kiss my rebuttal….


Maddie:  Oh, that’s mature.


David:  Can we possibly avoid that old chestnut today?  Take another tack, willya?


Maddie:  David, I don’t want you going off and doing something crazy.


David:  I’m a professional, Maddie.  I don’t go off and get crazy.


Maddie:  Shall I have the network pull a few hundred clips from the archives?


She speaks more softly.


Maddie:  Besides, you’ve never been a father before.  I’m betting it blurs the perceptions a little…I know being a mother does.


David:  I wouldn’t do anything stupid.


Maddie:  I don’t think we ever know what we would do…but I do know, not having a gun in the house would eliminate some possibilities.  Thousands of people a year are killed in gun accidents in the home.


David glares at her silently.


Maddie:  David, the gun hasn’t even been out of that safe in about ten years.  Does it even work?  Have you ever used it?


David:  I have a license for it.  I am trained to use it.  I maintain it.


Maddie:  I wish you would look at it the way I do.  Not just now, but anytime.  If it is in the house, someone could get to it… intruder….or someday, Ellie.


David:  That’s not the immediate problem.  The immediate problem is Sawyer.


Maddie:  No, it’s not.  The immediate problem is me convincing you to get that gun out of our house.


She continues.


Maddie:  I don’t get it, David… you are not a violent man.


David:  And you are not a hysterical woman.  Maybe this situation has us both operating a little out of character.


Maddie:  Isn’t that what gets people in trouble?


David:  What gets people in trouble is not being alert…aware…prepared.


Maddie:  No matter how far out of your comfort zone it takes you?


David:  My comfort zone seems stretchable in this instance.


Maddie:  Well, mine isn’t.  I saw what kind of damage a gun can do – in this very room as a matter of fact.


David:  That’s ‘cause you were shooting it – you had no business handling a gun.


Maddie:  And you do?  Who do you think you are, John McClane?  I don’t care if you’re trained or not – you and that gun can only lead to bad things.


She speaks quietly for a moment.


Maddie:  David, you have been a rock through this whole thing.  You are the only reason I’ve been able to stay even a little bit calm.  Can you understand how I feel even thinking that something could happen to you?


David (angrily):  So I’m supposed to understand that, but you can’t see it works both ways?  That I would do anything to keep you safe?


Maddie:  I’m just asking you to do that as well as you do every other day – without the added risk of a gun.


David:  Maddie, guns don’t hurt people, people hurt people.


Maddie:  Don’t try and slogan me to death, Addison.  Very few people are hurt – or killed – by someone pointing their finger and saying “bang”.


David:  You really feel I am just playing at this.


Maddie: I really don’t.  I just need you to understand that this is an argument for which I’ve got no compromises.


David:  One out of an infinite number?


Maddie:  One really important one – out of all the important decisions we’re going to need to make together about our daughter, and our home.


David:  If only I felt like we were making it together instead of you ordering me.


Maddie:  I’m sorry, I feel strongly about this.


David:  And I feel strongly about being taken out of the equation.


They glare at each other, neither one budging an inch.


David finally breaks.


David:  Are you all right here?


Maddie:  Meaning?


David:  Take it easy, I’m not looking to start round three.  Meaning...I need some air.  I’m going to go outside and check in with the security guys, then I think I’ll take a drive.


Maddie:  Don’t ---


He interrupts.


David:  -- do anything stupid!  I got it!


Maddie:  David, you know…


David:  No Maddie, right now, I don’t know.  But you can depend on the fact that I’ll be back as soon as I figure it out.


David walks across the room and out the front door, slamming it behind him..


Maddie (to herself):  Great, now’s he’s out, driving too fast, and angry.


She begins to pace the living room.


Maddie:  I can’t believe we think so differently on this.  And as usual, once his mind is made up……oh, he makes me nuts sometimes….


She looks at her watch, then rolls her eyes.


Maddie:  If anything happens to him, I’ll kill him.


Sunny enter the room, carrying the baby.


Sunny:  Where’s David?  I wanted to show him something Ellie did.


Maddie sighs.


Maddie:  I’m not sure…out saving the world, I think.




Act 2

The Hayes/Addison Home

Two Hours Later


Maddie sits at the dining room table, pushing food around on her plate.  She hears the front door slam, and a familiar voice.


David: (singing) Only the strong survive…only the strong survive….you gotta be a man…you gotta take a stand……


Maddie looks up as he comes into the room.


David:  I’m home.


Maddie: (coldly)  So I see.


David:  What’s cookin’, beautiful?


Maddie:  Sunny made veal parm.


David:  A little too literal, Ms. Hayes…..but it does smell good.


Maddie:  Yours is in the oven.  I’m sure it’s the consistency of shoe leather by now.


David:  I’m guessing you think I deserve that.


Maddie:  You’re guessing right.


David:  That’s me…Karnack the Magnificent.  So, Ellie tucked in?


Maddie:  Out like a light.  Do you want your dinner?


David:  Later…now’s the time we stop yelling and start talking.


Maddie:  Oh yeah?


David:  Well, that’s the way I remember it.  We haven’t really done one of these for a long time.  One thing’s different though.


Maddie:  What’s that?


David:  No overlapping dialogue.  I got to really hear what you were shouting.


Maddie:  Wondering whether that was really an improvement?


David:  Not necessarily…probably would have gotten the jist of it anyway.  I know you.


Maddie:  You do huh?  Well, let’s see, did you get your “air” driving the PCH, or just sitting at the overlook on Mulholland?


David:  You think you know me so well?


Maddie:  Which one?


David:  The PCH at rush hour?  Have you lost your marbles, woman?


Maddie:  Mulholland then.


David:  That was my second stop.


Maddie:  And your first?


David:  I went to the office to put the gun back in the safe.


Maddie:  Oh David…


David:  Maddie, guns have a place in this world, and you can’t change that by pretending that they don’t exist.  We had guns in our house when I was growing up.


Maddie:  You did, in South Philadelphia?


David:  Not in South Philly, although there were plenty of guns there.  We had them at the cabin in the mountains.  My Dad and Rich did a fair amount of hunting, mostly deer.


Maddie: (grimacing)  You didn’t?


David:  I tried it a couple of times…didn’t like it much.  Not the hunting so much, but the getting up early and sitting outside in the cold for hours. 


Maddie:  Kind of sounds like some of our bad stakeouts.


David:  No kidding.


Maddie:  But a cabin in the mountains is a long way from here.


David:  True, but whatever the home, the person who lives there has the right to protect it.


Maddie:  But David…


David:  Hold up, Blondie – I’m giving you this one.


Maddie:  You are?


David:  Don’t get me wrong, I am not in any way agreeing with you that guns are the root of all evil.


Maddie:  But…


David:  But I heard your voice telling me that you would have to kill Sawyer if he laid a finger on Ellie…and I knew I felt the same way.  I guess that’s why doctors can’t operate on family members…or cops investigate them.  Because they’re just too close to maintain perspective.


Maddie:  Neither of us needs to be in that position.  And it makes me so angry.


David watches her carefully.


Maddie:  No…not at you!  At Sawyer.  Why should he have the right to frighten and intimidate us…to make us uncomfortable in our own home and office?


David:  And that’s why I had the gun – and also why I decided to put it back.


Maddie:  How so?


David:  When I really thought about it, after an hour of deep breathing, I feel the same way you do.  I certainly defend anyone’s right to bear arms, but that’s not how I want us to have to live our lives.


Maddie:  I’m so glad.


David:  Besides, take a look back at all our seasons.  Only the bad guys have guns.


Maddie:  And you’re definitely one of the good guys.


She gives him a second.


Maddie:  So, it’s our decision?  We’re good?


David:  Of course we’re good.  In fact…


He leans over and kisses her.


David:  How about giving me a chance to be excellent?


Maddie:  How about you eat dinner, we talk about a few things and you go for the gold a little later.


David:  Only because it’s Sunny’s veal parm.   If I let food replace sex in my life, I won’t even be able to get into my own pants.


Shaking her head, Maddie exits the room, and comes back with David’s plate.  She pours them each a glass of wine, as David gobbles hungrily.


David:  Mmmmm, mmmmm.


Maddie:  Save room for dessert.


David:  Thought we had already established that was a sure thing.


He leers.


David:  So now, what did you want to talk about?


Maddie:  We have to decide what I should do about Blue Moon.


David:  Let’s send them five pizzas…every hour on the hour.  It will drive Bert nuts!


Maddie grimaces at him.


Maddie:  Wrong Blue Moon.  Besides, we’ll be back to work tomorrow.  I’m talking about Thursday and Friday.


David winks.


David:  Ok, what do you want to do about Blue Moon?


Maddie:  I’m not sure what we should do about Blue Moon.


David:  Well, I also touched base with Smitty while I was out.  The feds pulled a record on couple of passports used today – and although they aren’t a hundred percent certain, they have a pretty good feeling that Sawyer has left the country.


Maddie:  Can we go with a feeling?


David:  Your call, Maddie.  All of the security will stay in place until we get word that he has resurfaced in South America.


Maddie:  I hate to think that that creep can get the better of us.  I really wanted to do this, and I hate that he has taken some of the joy out of it.


David:  So, let’s not let him.


Maddie:  And you’ll be comfortable with that?


David:  Maybe comfortable is not the right word – but I will support whatever you want to do, as long as you don’t take any unnecessary chances.


Maddie:  And Ellie is safe.


David:  I’ll take her to the office with me if we think that’s best.


Maddie laughs.


Maddie:  Sure, another excuse to get absolutely no work done during those two days.  Honestly, I think I’d rather her here, in her regular routine, unless you think it’s the wrong thing to do.


David:  You’re probably right….no fun, of course, but home she shall stay.  I do think we should ask Sunny not to take her out anywhere but here, until this has all died down.


Maddie:  I like that idea…..and hey, I am too fun.


David:  You will get to prove that later.


David rises and picks up the dishes off the table, taking them into the kitchen.  He returns seconds later.


David:  Yes, I put them in the sink.  Will that keep you from sleeping?


Maddie smiles.


Maddie:  I guess not.  It’s been a long day.


David pulls her from her chair.


David:  Ready to go up?


Maddie:  Don’t you want to go over the Blue Moon agendas?


David:  I’ve got my own agenda.


Maddie: Lead on.


They head up the stairs hand in hand, as we:





Act 3, Scene 1

Blue Moon Detective Agency

David’s Office

Tuesday morning, 8AM


David enters the door, then leans back out to address the people in the outer office.


David:  Don’t think you people are going to watch TV all day.  Whether or not Ms. Hayes is the best thing to happen to daytime TV since The Price is Right, she will skin me alive if she finds out.


David hastens in through the door, and zips to the TV set.  He turns it on, and Maddie appears on the screen.  She is seated on a sofa, across from Kent Shockneck.  She looks very beautiful, in a soft lavender suit, hair and makeup done to perfection.  A montage of photos from her old Blue Moon Shampoo ads plays in the background.  The interview seems to be drawing to a close.


Shockneck:  So Maddie, sounds like it is going to be quite a gala for Blue Moon.


Maddie:  It does sound like fun, doesn’t it?


Shockneck:  I’ve got to ask you…do you ever think about modeling again?  Regret giving it all up?


Maddie:  Absolutely not, Kent.  I loved my time with Blue Moon, and it brought me some amazing experiences, but that time of my life is over.


Shockneck:  And tell us about your life now.


Maddie:  I have an exciting and fulfilling career as a private investigator.  I am the proud new mother of a beautiful six month old daughter.  And I have a partner who has taught me to think we instead of I…us instead of me.


Shockneck:  It looks like you’ve got everything people dream about.


Maddie:  And then some.


Shockneck:  Well, Maddie Hayes, original Blue Moon Shampoo girl, it has been a pleasure to have you.  Best of luck.


Maddie:  Thank you, Kent.


Shockneck:  And we’ll be right back, after a word from our sponsor.


Maddie continues chatting with the host, heading into commercial.  David turns down the volume, leaving the picture on.  He heads back to his desk, and sits, the intercom buzzing as he hits the seat.


David:  Freaky.


He stands and sits again, the intercom buzzing again as his rear lands on the seat cushion.


He picks up the phone.


David:  Agnes, have you got a hidden camera in here?


Agnes:  No, Mr. Addison.


David:  Humph….




David:  What did you want, Agnes?


Agnes:  Oh…Ms. Hayes is on the phone.


David looks at the TV screen where Maddie continues to chat…he hits the side of his head a couple of times, then picks up the phone.


We go to split screen, David and Maddie, side by side


David:  You’re on my TV screen, not talking to me.


Maddie:  What network?


David:  NBC.


Maddie:  I did that for Today in L.A. a couple of hours ago.  How did I look?


David:  So, big hair is back, huh?


Maddie:  Was it too much?  I told Vincent it might be a little too much hair spray.


David:  No, it was terrific.  Looked great…sounded better.  We instead of I, huh?


We can hear the smile in Maddie’s voice.


Maddie:  I always tell the truth to the press.


David:  Where are you now?


Maddie:  I’m in the limo on the way to the ABC affiliate.  I just wanted to remind you about Regis and Kathie Lee at 9…as if you need reminding.


David:  I’ll switch the channel as soon as I hang up.  Are you having fun?


Maddie:  I’m being treated like a queen.  I guess it’s kind of fun…a little hectic.


David:  Good ol’ Blue Moon.  When should we expect the lifetime supply of shampoo?


Maddie:  Lifetime for me…you’ll need to be carrying yours along with you into the afterlife.


David:  Nice Hayes, I was waiting for the hair jokes.


Maddie:  Well then, I just couldn’t disappoint you.


David:  Well, make sure you get a few hundred cases of their hair spray.  If big hair goes out of style, you can also use it as a lethal weapon.


Maddie:  Well played, Addison.


David:  So, what else have you got today?


Maddie:  I stay here for a while.  After Regis, I have Mike and Maty, and a remote interview with Oprah.  I leave here to do some print interviews, and then tape both Leno and Arsenio Hall.


David:  That’s action packed.


Maddie:  You said it.  And more of the same tomorrow.  It’s just like the good old days…except I’m twenty years older and definitely not as spry.


David:  Poor old lady…you’re absolutely decrepit.  I’m thinking you might deserve a little massaging tonight.


Maddie:  Mmmmmm…I’ll be home around eight.


David:  The midget and I will be waiting. 


Maddie:  Oops, we’re here.  I’ve gotta go.  Talk to you later.


David:  Give my love to Regis….and keep a little for yourself.


Maddie:  Bye.  Love you.


In her half of the screen, we see Maddie, being helped out of the limo and hustled into a building.  David, meanwhile, picks up the remote and switches channels.  He lands on a commercial.


Voiceover:  Today, on Live/Regis and Kathie Lee, from Los Angeles…George Clooney talks about his latest movie, and Maddie Hayes, the original Blue Moon Shampoo girl, talks about her life twenty years after.  Today at 9 o’clock, on ABC.


David addresses the screen.


David:  Too bad, George, she’s coming home to me.


He takes a stack of papers out of his inbox, and begins to read.


Cut to Scene 2


Act 3, Scene 2

ABC Studios

A small suite backstage.


Maddie is led into a series of connecting rooms.  The first room is a typical hair and makeup room, set with tall directors’ chairs, and the wall lined with mirrors.  There is every kind of beauty product imaginable on the counters, many displaying the “Blue Moon” label.


We can see through the connecting door to a room that is set up for comfort – overstuffed sofa, chairs, TV set.  There is a large food and beverage set-up next to the wall.


Asst. Director:  So, Miss Hayes, we’ll get you all set here.  I understand that you have hair and makeup people with you…although it really doesn’t appear you need any help in that department.


Maddie:  Thanks, but you should have seen the magic they had to work at 6 this morning.


Asst. Director:  I am sure they will be along shortly.


Maddie:  They were in a separate car, and I think we left before them.


The Assistant Director gestures towards the door to the left, which is open.


Asst. Director:  Once you’re ready, you can relax in there till we need you.  If there is anything at all you need and don’t see, please don’t hesitate to let us know.


Maddie:  I’m sure I’ll be fine.


Maddie rummages in a large tote bag, looking for something. 


Maddie:  I had forgotten about the old model bag….weight about 800 pounds, with a spare of everything.  Panty hose, blouse, hair spray…


She piles a few things on the counter, including a little two toned bunny with a slightly chewed ear.  She grins triumphantly as she unearths a novel.


Maddie:  It’s just like riding a bike…just need to be prepared to have something to pass the time.


The Assistant Director smiles.


Asst. Director:  Cute bunny.


Maddie seems a little embarrassed.


Maddie:  It’s my daughter’s.  I brought it along for luck.  Silly, I guess.


She replaces the other items in her bag, but holds the little stuffed animal in her hand.


Asst. Director:  Not at all silly.  If you’d seen some of what I have…..


Her voice trails off.


Asst Director:  Look at the time, I’ve got to fly…unless I can get you anything else?


Maddie:  I’ll be fine.


A man and a woman come to the outer door.


Asst. Director:  Here are your people now.  Give us a holler if you need anything, otherwise we’ll be back for you in around an hour.


Maddie:  Thank you so much.


She smiles at the makeup woman, Anna, and her hairdresser, Vincent.


Maddie:  Round two, folks.  Get out the spackle.


Anna:  Not a big deal, just a few small touch-ups.


She ministers to Maddie as Vincent stands back and smiles.


Vincent:  Back in the big time, huh Maddie?  How’s it feel? 


Maddie:  It feels like I will be happy to go back to my own little life after Sunday.


Vincent:  Your life is anything but little.  I dine out regularly on some of your crazy case stories.


Maddie:  We do attract them, don’t we?  Vincent, thanks so much for these two days.  I know you had to upset your schedule terribly.


Vincent:  Hey listen, Blue Moon has certainly made it worth my while.  And I’m meeting some very interesting people.


The makeup woman stands back.


Anna:  Ok, Miss Hayes, you’re all set.  I’ll come back a few minutes before you go on air.


Maddie:  Won’t you stay? 


She gestures to the other room.


Maddie:  Have something to eat.


The makeup woman shakes her head.


Anna:  No thanks.  I have a friend who works makeup for the show.  She’s going to see if she can get me in to meet George Clooney.


Vincent perks up.


Vincent:  Maddie, your hair is perfect.  I can do a quick touch-up now…or later, after Anna takes me to meet George.  OK?


Maddie laughs.


Maddie:  Go….admire…worship.  I’ll see you a little later.


They take off, closing the door behind them.


She sits the bunny on the counter, picks up her novel and begins to read.  All is quiet for a few moments, then the door opens.  Maddie doesn’t even look up.


Maddie:  Did you forget your autograph book?


A familiar voice:  Did you think I’d want your autograph, Maddie?


Maddie turns pale as she looks up to see Ron Sawyer leaning against the closed door.


Sawyer:  Cat got your tongue?


Maddie:  What….who… did you get in here?  How did you get past security?


Sawyer:  Where there’s a will, there’s a way.  Never underestimate the distraction power of one George Clooney.


Maddie:  Get out of here, Sawyer.  One scream from me, and people will come running.


Sawyer reaches casually inside his jacket and pulls out a gun, which he points carefully at her.


Sawyer:  I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Maddie.  One move from me, and the evening news will be filled with images of your motherless child.


Maddie:  Don’t be stupid.


Sawyer:  Don’t you be stupid. You’d better do exactly as I say.


There is a knock at the door.


Asst. Director:  Miss Hayes, you’ve got about thirty minutes…..Miss Hayes?


The door knob rattles.  Another knock.  Sawyer looks around frantically.  Using the gun, he motions to the green room.


Sawyer: (stage whisper)  Pick up your bag and all your things.  We’re moving into the other room.


Maddie drops her novel into her bag, but she leaves Ellie’s bunny lying on the counter.


More knocking.


Asst. Director:  Miss Hayes, are you in there?


She speaks to someone in the hall.


Asst. Director:  Go find somebody with a master key.


Sawyer gestures emphatically, and Maddie heads towards the other room, glancing back for a moment at the little brown and white bunny.  Sawyer follows her, closing and locking the door behind her.



Act 3, Scene 3

Blue Moon Detective Agency

David’s Office

9 A.M.


David sits at his desk, feet up, engrossed in the sports section of the Tribune.  There is a knock at the door.


David: (distractedly) Umm hmmmm….


Agnes opens the door.


Agnes:  Mr. Addison, what are you doing?


David:  Trying to figure out how much those stupid Mets had to pay the umpire to get the win over the Phils last night.


Agnes:  Mr. Addison, it’s 9 o’clock!  The TV?


David:  Ooops.


He swings his legs from the desk, puts down the paper, and picks up the remote.


David:  Are you staying to watch with me?


Agnes:  Sure thing, Mr. Addison. 


She makes herself comfortable in a chair.


The volume increases…..theme music, and


A voice over:  And now…Live…Regis and Kathie Lee…


The hosts fill the screen -- the curmudgeonly former comic, and the chipper redhead with miles of teeth.  They launch into what is kindly called “host chat”


Kathie Lee:  Good morning, Reeg!


Regis:  What’s so good about it?


Kathie Lee:  The good Lord got you up this morning.  Consider the alternative.


David turns to Agnes and makes gagging noises.  Agnes giggles.


Regis:  Right.


Kathie Lee:  And we’ve got George Clooney with us today.  There’s something for me to be grateful for.


Regis:  Well, I’ve got another story for you this morning.  We’ve been stood up.


Kathie Lee:  Stood up?


Regis:  Maddie Hayes, the original Blue Moon shampoo girl is scheduled to be here this morning.  I was really looking forward to checking out her……moonbeams.


David:  What an old lech.


Kathie Lee:  Oh Reeg.


Regis:  But she’s not here.


Kathie Lee:  Not here?


David and Agnes exchange glances.


David: (voice rising)  What the hell are they talking about?


Regis:  Nope…sounds like a diva moment to me.  She must have walked out on us.  When the A.D. went to check on her, she had taken off.


Kathie Lee:  Hey, Ms. Hayes…nobody outdivas me on my show.  I bet somebody forgot to take the green M&Ms out of the bowl.


Agnes pipes up indignantly.


Agnes:  Ms. Hayes isn’t a diva.  They don’t know what they’re talking about.


David:  Where would she have gone?  What happened to her security?


Regis:  She even left her makeup and hair people in the lurch.


Kathie Lee:  Well thank goodness, we’re not that full of ourselves.


Regis:  Speak for yourself, babe.


Kathie Lee:  Oh well, that just gives us more time to chat with the fabulous George Clooney.


Huge burst of audience applause.


Regis:  And unlike Ms. Hayes, we’ll be right back after this message.


David is clearly upset.


David:  There is something wrong here.  I talked to her – she was there.  She was having a good time, and looking forward to the interview.


He grabs his jacket.


David:  Agnes, get hold of Detective Smith and tell him to meet me at the ABC television station.  I’ve got a bad feeling about this.


He heads towards the door.


Agnes:  Will do, Mr. Addison.  I’m sure it’s all a mistake and she’s fine.  Maybe she got locked in the bathroom?


David gives her a wild eyed look as he runs out the door.


Agnes picks up the phone and starts to dial.



Act 3, scene 4

ABC Studios

An hour later


David is waiting at the gate, while a huge entourage exits the lot.  He guns his motor, and stops at the guard gate.


David:  Goddam traffic! 


Guard:  You Addison?


David:  Yes, how did you know?


Guard:  Detective said -- bad haircut, crazed look in his eyes.  But I do need to see ID.


David:  Great.


David hands him his wallet.  The guard examines his driver’s and P.I. licenses, then hands them back.


Guard:  Ok, thanks.


David nods towards the departing cars.


David:  What was all that?


Guard:  George Clooney.  It’s like a traveling circus.


David:  Did anybody search the cars on the way out?


Guard:  Hell no!  It’s George Clooney, man.


David:  Where do I go?


Guard:  Detective said, meet him at building 20.  There’s a big picture of Regis and Kathie Lee on the outside.


David:  Thanks.


He drives through the lot, restraining himself from speeding, and happens upon a knot of suits, police officers, and studio security guards.  Detective Smith stands in the center, listening carefully.


David screeches the car into a parking spot marked Gelman, and sprints towards Smitty.  He wastes no time on greetings.


David:  What did you find out?


Smitty:  Not much.  We’re got some guys going through film from security cameras now.  We do know she was here.


David:  I know she was. I talked to her on the phone.


Smitty:  And no one has seen her leave.  Her limo is still here.  Her hair and makeup people are still here.


David:  They weren’t with her the whole time?


Smitty:  Evidently, they left her alone for a few minutes.


David:  And the security?


Smitty:  Well, there were some major distractions this morning.  They had…


David: (interrupting)  George Clooney, I know.  And the whole system falls apart?


Smitty:  Evidently, there were some crazed women who got onto the lot.  It caused a lot of confusion.


David:  But Maddie had a bodyguard.


Smitty:  And he was helping out to remove the women.


David:  Perfect.


Smitty:  I’m afraid it’s possible that someone could have gotten in during the mess.


David:  Someone like Sawyer?


Smitty:  Possibly.


David:  I’ve gotten a lot of words from you the last few days, Smitty.  Possibly, highly unlikely, probably…what the hell am I supposed to believe?


Smitty:  C’mon Dave, we always knew that nobody has a key into the mind of that lowlife Sawyer.


David:  Alright…alright… there’s a chance she’s still inside?


Smitty nods.


David:  Did you check all the locked doors?  Our secretary had a premonition she was locked in a bathroom.


He laughs sarcastically.


Smitty:  We’re still checking all of that out, plus reviewing the security tapes, as I said.  Let’s go inside, and we can see where we know she was last.


They enter the building, and pass a security desk. 


Guard:  Detective, we might have something.  Nobody recognizes this guy.


Smitty:  David, let’s take a look.


They watch the videotape carefully.


Smitty:  The baseball cap really covers his face.


David:  I haven’t seen him in about ten years, but this guy has the same build.


Smitty:  Keep checking the other cameras.


They walk down the hall to the makeup room.  Anna and Vincent sit in chairs.


Vincent:  Any word?


Smitty:  Nothing yet.  This is Mr. Addison, Ms. Hayes’ partner.


David:  I’m guessing you’re Vincent.  Did she say anything, do anything unusual?


Vincent:  Not at all.  She was really upbeat and happy.  I can’t imagine her leaving.


Smitty:  Well, that’s what we are trying to figure out.  We’d like you to stop down at the security desk and give them a statement.  Think really hard and see if you can remember anything out of the ordinary.


Vincent and Anna exit.


David looks around the room, immediately spotting Ellie’s bunny.


David:  She didn’t go anywhere under her own steam, Smitty.  This is our daughter’s.  She wouldn’t have left this here…unless….


His mind is racing.


David: Unless she was leaving it as a clue.


He gestures to the door.


David:  What’s behind there?


Smitty:  Not sure, let me get someone who knows.


David picks up the bunny and mutters to himself.


David:  Hold on Maddie, I’m coming.



The scene shifts to behind the door in the green room.


Maddie sits on the sofa with her bag on the floor at her feet.  Sawyer sits in a chair opposite, with the gun trained on Maddie.


Maddie inclines her head, as if listening.


Maddie:  Did you say something?


Sawyer:  Nope, just sitting here, having a giggle with Mike and Maty.


Maddie:  Have you got a plan here?


Sawyer:  What do you mean?


Maddie:  What are we doing here? 


Sawyer:  Haven’t you figured it out, Maddie?  I’m going to make you pay.


Maddie:  I would have thought my debt was paid…years ago.


Sawyer:  Forget the money.  Your big mouth is why I am here.  I’d be safe and sound, back in South America if you hadn’t told the police you saw me.


Maddie:  If you had been smart enough to turn around and go right away, you’d be back in MY casino as we speak.


Sawyer:  Always superior…always pompous…since the day I met you, Maddie.  You’d think when I had everything of yours, you would have been crushed.


Maddie:  I don’t get crushed, Sawyer.


Sawyer:  You sure looked crushed when you left Buenos Aires ten years ago.


Maddie:  Temporarily deflated, perhaps.  Never crushed.


Sawyer:  You’re pretty cocky, Miss Hayes, when I am holding a gun at your head…literally and figuratively.  Do you think I have anything to lose now?


Maddie:  If you think I am going to try and tell you that everything will be fine, and you can work out some kind of a deal, you underestimate me.  You’re in big trouble, and this little stunt just makes it bigger.


Sawyer:  So what should I do, Maddie, kill you?


Maddie:  It’s been said you’ve done it before.


Sawyer:  My hands have never gotten that dirty before…..but don’t tempt me. 



Back in the makeup room:


Detective Smith returns to the room with the building engineer.


Smitty:  Ok, we’ve got some information.  Dave, you need to stay calm.


David:  Spill it.


Smitty:  They’re inside there.


He points to the door of the green room.


Smitty:  It is Sawyer, with Maddie, and he’s got a gun pointed at her.


David:  How do you know this?


Engineer:  There’s a hidden surveillance camera in the room.  We just pulled it up on the security office consoles.  They can monitor everything that is going on in there.


David:  Maddie’s okay?


Smitty:  She looks fine.  In fact, she looks to be giving him a piece of her mind, although we don’t have microphones in there.


David:  If I didn’t want to smash his face, I could almost feel sorry for Sawyer.  So what do we do…are you going to negotiate with him?


Smitty:  We could try, although between the Feds, Interpol, and LAPD, this is going to turn into one enormous SNAFU if we try to figure out jurisdiction.  I’d like to try to storm the room. 


David:  With Maddie in there?  Have you sprained your brain, Smitty?


Smitty:  This is actually a series of connecting rooms, so there is an identical door to this on the other side.  We could come in from both sides at once.


David:  I’m not having her used as a sitting duck, pal.


Smitty:  I’d like to try and involve Maddie if we could.  But we need to think of a way that she knows that we are out here.


David looks down at the bunny in his hand.


David:  Oh….wait.  Let’s try and pull a rabbit out of a hat.


David motions him over to the corner of the room, and they confer.


Back in the Green Room:


Maddie and Sawyer are in much the same positions.  Maddie’s seemingly calm demeanor is betrayed a bit by her gnawing on one perfect fingernail.


The television screen is filled with “Special Bulletin” graphics.


Voiceover:  We interrupt this program to bring you a special bulletin from ABC News.  We have just been told that at approximately 9 AM this morning, Madolyn Hayes, former model and spokesperson, was kidnapped from our ABC studios here in Los Angeles.


We take you now to reporter Antonio Mora, now with Detective Eric Smith of the L.A.P.D..


We see a shot of Smitty and David, against a nondescript background.  We can see that David has a death grip on Ellie’s bunny.


Maddie starts as she realizes that David is nearby.  Sawyer is staring at the television, and oblivious to Maddie.


Reporter:  Can you give us some details, Detective Smith?


Smitty:  Right now, all we know is that Miss Hayes has disappeared from the ABC studios, and we suspect she is in the hands of one Ronald Sawyer, a former U.S. citizen who is currently being investigated by Interpol for undisclosed crimes.


Reporter:  Why would he have taken Miss Hayes?


Smitty:  Miss Hayes and Sawyer have a history which I really don’t want to go into at this time.


Reporter:  Any idea where she has been taken?


Smitty:  We are investigating several possibilities at this time. 


He indicates David.


Smitty:  This is David Addison, Miss Hayes’ partner.  He is assisting us with the investigation.


Reporter:  Mr. Addison, can you tell us what your feelings are….your thoughts about Miss Hayes?


David:  Miss Hayes is the smartest, most resourceful woman I know.  Her brain should be considered a lethal weapon.  Sawyer is no match for her.


Sawyer addresses the TV.


Sawyer:  But I have Smith and Wesson on my team, hotshot.


Maddie glares at him, full of disdain.


Maddie:  Big man.


Sawyer:  Yep, big man with a gun.


He turns his attention back to the interview.


Reporter:  Mr. Addison, just in case Miss Hayes can hear you now, what might you want to say to her?


David looks directly into the camera.


David:  We’ve got your back, Blondie…and your front.


He winks.


David:  Remember, we instead of I.


Smitty:  That’s all we have for you right now.


Reporter:  Thank you.  We will keep you up to date on further developments.  This has been a special report from ABC news.



Back to the makeup room.


Smitty:  So now we wait.


He speaks into the walkie talkie.


Smitty:  How’s it look in there?


Crackling voice:  Sawyer pacing, looks like he’s getting yelled at.


David:  There is no one on earth that can get a man’s goat like my partner.  Give me ten minutes in the over and under.


Smitty:  Over and under what?


David:  That she will drive him crazy…provoke him to do something stupid.


Smitty:  Well, we’ll be ready.  Got guys on the other side of that room as well as here.  If we see something we don’t like, we’ll create a diversion out here.


David nods his head solemnly, his eyes focused on the door.


Split screen:  Green Room on the right, Makeup Room on the left.


Sawyer addresses Maddie.


Sawyer:  So you’ve still got the lap dog, huh?


Maddie:  Lap dog?


Sawyer:  Addison -- follows you everywhere, eats out of your hand….sound familiar?


Maddie:  Not even close.  That man is worth a hundred of you…a million.  And everything he’s got, he has worked for…including me and our daughter.


Sawyer:  Oh he’s the proud papa as well.  That’s makes it just about perfect.


Maddie:  We think so.


Sawyer:  You think I haven’t worked for what I’ve got?  All the crap I’ve swallowed… all the bowing and scraping to people like you, who didn’t know I existed.


Maddie:  Until you stole them blind.


She glares at him emphatically, and kicks at the bag lying at her feet, propelling it a little further into the center of the room.


Sawyer moves towards her, brandishing the gun.


Sawyer:  Be very careful, Maddie.  You’ve already pointed out I have very little to lose here.  Shut up and let me think, or I may be tempted to eliminate the source of the noise in here.


Maddie:  You know what, you lousy little worm…if I am going to die anyway, I may as well get the satisfaction of telling you exactly what I think of you…


Sawyer is enraged.  He raises his hand as if to strike Maddie, and moves towards her.


Things start to happen all at once.


The walkie talkie squawks:  Something’s going on in there.


The S.W.A.T. team is poised to move.


Back to the Green Room:


Sawyer trips on the strap of Maddie’s bag, sending her belongings flying.  Her can of hairspray lands at her feet, and she quickly reaches for it, as Sawyer loses his balance, and flies towards her on the couch.  The gun goes off, the bullet flying errantly into a wall.


Maddie slides to avoid Sawyer who lands on his back.  She sprays the can of hairspray into Sawyer’s eyes, as he screams, trying to cover his eyes.


The swat team, led by Smitty, and followed closely by David, smash through the connecting doors on both sides.


They see Sawyer, clawing at his eyes, as Maddie continues to squirt hairspray into them.  Her expression is determined, and yes…a little gleeful.


David’s strained expression eases once he sees Maddie.


David:  Hey, Wonder trying to blind the guy?


Maddie:  Only if I don’t have the option to castrate him.


She drops the hairspray as the officers grab and handcuff Sawyer.  David pulls Maddie to her feet, and into his arms.


Maddie:  You’re here.


David:  Where else would I be?


Maddie:  You saved me.


David:  Hell no, babe…you saved yourself.


Maddie smiles up at him.


Maddie:  Maybe this time.


They kiss.  The tender moment is interrupted by Sawyer.


Sawyer:  Isn’t that sweet?


David:  Oh… so you still can see?


Sawyer:  No thanks to that b –


Smitty jerks him by the arm, and shuts him up.


Smitty:  You want me to let him have at you?


David:  Maybe we should just give Maddie another shot.


He addresses Smitty.


David:  So what happens to him now?


Smitty:  Now we sort out charges.  But rest assured, he’ll be spending lots of time in a small dark room.  Thanks to you two.


Maddie smiles at Sawyer.


Maddie:  It’s been our pleasure.


Smitty speaks to two officers.


Smitty:  Take this trash out.  I need to talk to Miss Hayes and Mr. Addison about what comes next.


They remove Sawyer from the room.


Maddie:  David, I need to call my parents……and Sunny….and the office.  They must have been scared to death by that news bulletin.


Smitty and David exchange a conspiratorial grin.


Maddie:  What?


David:  Well, Maddie, the whole thing was a fake…a set-up.  The only TV in the country that got that news bulletin was the one you and Sawyer were watching.


Maddie:  I don’t understand.


Smitty:  We were trying to figure out a way to let you know that we knew where you were without alerting Sawyer.  David figured that if you saw the bunny you would know.


Maddie: (smiling)  And I did.


She takes the bunny from his hands and drops a kiss on its chewed little ear.


David:  I knew that would take some of the fear away…and hopefully let you see some possibilities.


Maddie:  Well, I’m not sure I would have planned it the way it turned out, but I did feel a little more confident knowing you were within screaming range.


David:  And you didn’t need to scream once.


He puts his arm around her and pulls her close.


David:  So whaddya think about my…..


He hesitates a minute.


David:  My girl, Smitty.


Smitty:  I think she’s quite a woman. 


David:  You said a mouthful.  So do you need us today?


Smitty:  Oh man, this is going to be such a cluster…..oops, sorry, Maddie… such a mess to figure out these charges.  I think we can wait till tomorrow to get your statements etc.  Hell, we’ve got most of it on videotape.


David:  So we can go home?


Maddie:  What time is it?  I still have interviews to do.


David: (incredulously)  Are you kidding me?


Maddie:  It appears Smitty is going to require our services all day tomorrow.  I’d better give Blue Moon their money’s worth today.  I guess I’d better call Monica and see what she has to say.


David looks at Smitty and shakes his head.


David:  See what I have to put up with?


Smitty:  Addison, unless you are the stupidest man on this planet, you’d better grab that lady and hold on.


David’s eyes go to Maddie on the phone, lingering for a moment, as we:





Act 4, Scene 1

The interior of a limo

Sunday, late afternoon


David:  Nice wheels.


Maddie:  We’d better enjoy it.  It’s back to the slightly slower lane tomorrow.


David:  And enjoy it we shall!  Want a swig of Uncle Dom?


He gestures towards the magnum of champagne icing in the cooler.


Maddie:  You talked me into it.


He pours two glasses and hands one to Maddie.


David:  Let’s try that romantic intertwining arms thing they do in the movies.


Maddie:  Addison, if you spill one drop on this dress, I swear…


David:  Hey, you don’t have to tell me twice.  I’ve seen what you did to Sawyer.


Maddie sighs.


Maddie:  Along with most of America.  Do you think they’ll ever figure out who leaked that tape?


David:  Probably not.  ABC security investigating ABC security?  That’s a crapshoot at best.


Maddie:  You’ve got a point.


David:  Should we take the case?


Maddie:  No, I’m thinking it will blow over.  It’s just a little disconcerting – seems like every time you turn on the TV, there I am.


David:  Look at the bright side…at least you’re fully clothed.  I understand that’s a rarity in leaked videos.


She gives him a look.


Maddie:  You understand? 


She shakes her head, then returns to her previous thought.


Maddie:  Instead, I look like a crazy lunatic shooting hair spray into a man’s face.


David:  At least it was Blue Moon Hairspray.  They have certainly gotten more publicity than they paid for.


Maddie:  I’m not sure it’s the kind of publicity that they were looking for.


David:  Nope…better.


Maddie:  Better than the interviews and TV appearances that they had planned?


David:  I-22.


Maddie:  Huh?


David:  Bingo!  That videotape would be genius if it had been planned as a publicity stunt.  The fact that it is real makes it all the more valuable.


She screws up her face.


David:  Maddie…people are in love with you…people other than in this car, that is.


She smiles and kisses him softly.


David:  No kidding.  After that run-in with Sawyer, you’re kind of an everyman’s hero…a Bionic Woman…without the replaceable body parts.


Maddie:  I’ve got a few parts could use replacing after childbirth.


David:  Hey, I like your parts right where they are.  Anyway…you’re a star…again!


Maddie:  Fame is fleeting, my dear.


David:  I bet you a buck, in a couple of weeks, you’ll have your own Jeopardy category.


Maddie:  Be still my heart.


David:  And if fame were so fleeting, we wouldn’t be heading to a shindig to celebrate a product you made famous twenty years ago.


Maddie: (musing)  Twenty years.


David:  Bet it seems like…oh, about twenty years.


She pokes him with her elbow.


David:  Hey, watch the tux.


Maddie:  Well, it sure seems like twenty years when I look in the mirror.


David:  Don’t be crazy.  I’ve only known you for half that time, and you are more beautiful and more real than the person who walked into my life back then.


Maddie:  More real, huh?  I’m not disputing that….sort of.  I just wish that I didn’t feel like I was poured into this dress.


David:  I’m not falling for that.


Maddie:  For what?


David:  For you fishing for compliments.  If I tell you how drop dead gorgeous and amazingly sexy you look, then you’re just gonna have to return the favor.  I’m just not that vain, I guess.


Maddie laughs loud and long.


Maddie:  Oh yeah, you’re so shy and retiring.


She reaches up to him, and smoothes a piece of unruly hair into place.


Maddie:  You could have used some Blue Moon hairspray.


David:  Right between the eyes?


The chauffeur slides back the window between the compartments.


Chauffeur:  Excuse me, Miss Hayes, we’re arriving at the Westin Bonaventure.


Maddie:  Thanks so much.


The partition slides back.


David:  We’re here?  And we didn’t even get to fool around in this great back seat.


Maddie:  Be a good boy, and I’ll see what I can arrange for the ride home.


David:  Hubba, hubba.


Maddie:  David, you’ve never experienced one of these events.  They’re usually crazy enough, but it will probably be worse because of the Sawyer thing.


David:  There will be security.


Maddie:  Excellent security.  But it’s going to be a crush.  Stick close by me until we get inside.


David:  Like glue, babe.


Maddie:  And smile pretty.


The limo stops and the chauffeur comes around to open Maddie’s door.


He helps Maddie out, into the burst of a thousand flashes.


Maddie is a vision in sapphire blue… a gossamer creation unlike anything we have ever seen her wear before.  The bodice is beautifully fitted, accentuating her curves.  It flows into a skirt of hundreds of slender pleats which undulate sinuously, as if they had a life of their.  It reveals nothing, yet reveals everything.  The picture is extremely striking…and extremely sexy.


David follows, dressed to the nines in a perfectly fitted Armani tux, looking as only a good looking man in a tux can look.  Charming and debonair, he looks a bit stunned at the spectacle laid out before him.


Maddie lays her hand on his arm and he grins teasingly.


David:  Make sure they’re getting my good side.


Maddie:  You’ve got a good side?


David:  Well, I know you’re kind of fond of my bad side.


Maddie kisses him on the cheek and the photographers go wild.


Maddie:  Actually, I know for a fact you’ve got a great side.


She looks down the red carpet.


Maddie:  Ready to run the gauntlet?


David:  After you, my love.


Maddie:  Nope…right by my side.  We not I, remember?


They start to stroll slowly down the red carpet.  The night seems to be filled with Maddie’s name as the reporters and photographers jockey to get her attention.


They shout random questions at her.


Reporters:  Maddie, can you look this way, please?  ----  How are you feeling after your ordeal?  ---  Who are you wearing?  ---  What’s the real story about you and that Sawyer guy?  ---  Any plans to go back to modeling? –


She smiles and poses, instinctively guiding David into the right position.  She swaps some “Hi, how are you” small talk, but answers no questions till they approach the door of the hotel.


An interview area has been set up there, and Army Archerd, Variety columnist and red carpet interviewer to the stars reigns supreme there.


Army:  Madolyn Hayes, for a woman who’s had such a harrowing experience, you look amazingly beautiful.


Maddie:  Thank you, Army.  May I present my partner, David Addison?


Army:  The man with the bunny.  You were instrumental in Maddie’s rescue from that international criminal.


David:  Miss Hayes had all the instruments she needed to take care of herself.


Army:  Of course, a more brilliant use of hairspray I’ve never seen.  It was Blue Moon hairspray, of course.


Maddie:  Of course.  Sorry I didn’t have the time to position the logo properly for the cameras.


Army: (laughing)  You’re a gem, you marvelous woman.  Blue Moon is as fortunate to have you here tonight as they were to find you twenty years ago.


Maddie:  I’m very grateful…Blue Moon has afforded me some wonderful opportunities in my life.


Army:  After all this attention, I’m sure you’ll have lots of offers.  Any interest in returning to modeling?


Maddie:  After tonight, I am definitely a retired model, Army.  I’ve got enough on my plate trying to be the best mother, partner and detective.


Army:  Well, good for you.  And now for all the ladies – who are you wearing?


Maddie:  Robert Turturice.


Army:  An amazing dress for an amazing lady.  You two have fun now, and thanks for talking to us.


Maddie and David move into the hotel as Army moves onto his next victim.


David:  Fine job, Hayes.  Bet you’re glad that’s over.


Maddie:  I would be…if it were.


David:  Whaddya mean?


Maddie:  Now starts the schmoozing.  Oh, here’s Monica.


Monica Fordham approaches.


Maddie:  Monica, this is my David.  David, Monica Fordham, my fairy godmother.


Monica:  Maybe one day, long ago, but Cinderella, you didn’t need any help to get yourself to this ball.


She extends her hand to David and looks him in the eye.


Monica:  I’m very pleased to meet you, David.  I’ve heard lots about you.


David:  Some of it even true, I suspect.


Monica:  Well, I’ve seen your beautiful daughter and how happy you’re making my girl here, so I think you’re on my good list.


David:  That’s very nice to hear.


Monica:  Of course, they’ve got a hundred people they want you to meet.


Maddie:  David, this is liable to be really boring for you.  Sure you don’t want to find a room with a TV so you can watch the game?


David:  I’ll stick with you, Blondie.


The afternoon becomes a whirlwind of drinks, hors d’oeuvres, and hundreds of people in formal wear, all determined to share a word or two with the newest female superhero.


David contributes to the conversations with mostly appropriate things, but it is Maddie who shines.


After a couple of hours, she leans over and whispers in David’s ear.


Maddie:  I have to go to the ladies’ room.


David:  Unless you have something kinky in mind, I’m not going with you.


Maddie:  I think being the star of one videotape is quite enough for one week.


David:  Spoilsport.  Okay, I’ll be right here.


He sips on his drink and looks after her thoughtfully.  Monica Fordham approaches.


Monica:  Are you having fun?


David:  I guess…in a manner of speaking.


He speaks almost incredulously as he nods towards Maddie’s retreating back.


David:  She’s amazing.


Monica:  You should know.


David:  I mean, she’s amazing at this.


Monica:  One of the best I’ve ever seen.


David:  It’s not all smiling and looking good, is it?


Monica:  It’s hard work.


David:  It’s been hours…meeting hundreds of people…swapping small talk…charming the sponsors…making sure everybody feels special…I’d be tearing my hair out, but she’s perfect.


Monica:  There are so many empty-headed, narcissistic women in the modeling profession.  Maddie was, and is, a breath of fresh air.


David:  And she walked away from it…


Monica:  Her choice…modeling is a good living, but it can be shallow and tedious.  Maddie knew she wanted more out of her life.  She left at the top of her game.


David:  And set for life…until Sawyer made off with her moola.


Monica:  Set for life?  I disagree – I think she was ready for life.  Did you ever hear of kismet?


David smiles wryly.


David:  Once or twice.


Monica:  Everything happens for a reason.  It seems a little twisted to think that you should be thankful to Ron Sawyer, especially after the last two days, but that’s kind of the way I see it.


David:  Maddie said almost the same thing just the other day.


Monica:  Listen to her.  I’ve loved her like a daughter and I am thrilled to see her so happy and fulfilled.  You must be a very special man, Mr. Addison.


David:  Well, lucky at the very least.


They fail to notice Maddie coming up behind them.  She sneaks in between them, putting her arms around them.


Maddie:  You’re the only two people in this room I would say this to, but I can’t wait to get home.


Monica:  I think you’re entitled, Maddie.  You couldn’t have missed a single person here.  Let me check with the PR folks.


Monica starts to walk away, then turns back.


Monica:  Maddie, just thought I should let you know…I’ve been fielding offers all day.


Maddie:  No, Monica.  Thank you, but no.


Monica:  You sure?


Maddie:  That ship has sailed.  This has been a somewhat pleasant interval in our live….


David looks at her quizzically.


Maddie:  Well, parts of it have been pleasant.  But I will be happy and grateful to fade back into oblivion.


Monica:  As long as you stay in touch, I won’t be disappointed, I swear.


The two women embrace.  Monica winks at David over Maddie’s shoulder, then walks away.


Maddie:  So who do I talk to now?


David:  How about me?


She looks around, as if seeing the room for the first time.


Maddie:  I’ve got a better idea.  Think that orchestra can crank up a limbo?


David:  If they do, I’ll take out their trumpets.  I want to dance with my girl in my arms.


He holds them out, and Maddie glides in.  They move onto the dance floor.


David:  This is more like it.


Maddie:  You sure are at your most charming when you’re dancing, Mr. Addison.


The orchestra leader smiles when he sees them on the dance floor, and segues into a familiar tune.  The crowd applauds.


Blue Moon
You saw me standing alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own
Blue Moon
You know just what I was there for
You heard me saying a prayer for
Someone I really could care for

And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only one my arms will hold
I heard somebody whisper please adore me
And when I looked to the Moon it turned to gold


They sway in silence, almost as one person, Maddie’s head on his shoulder.  He whispers in her ear.


David:  This room is yours, Hayes.


She raises her head to answer and catches a glimpse of a familiar figure across the room.


Maddie: (giggling)  David, is that who I think it is?


David follows her eyes to a handsome grey haired gentleman across the room.


David:  George Clooney… boy, I have a few choice words for him.


Maddie:  Ssssh


She lays her head back on his shoulder.


And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only one my arms will ever hold
I heard somebody whisper please adore me
And when I looked the Moon had turned to gold

Blue moon
Now I'm no longer alone
Without a dream in my heart

Without a love of my own.


On the other side of the room, David spots Monica Fordham.  With a smile, she gives him the thumbs up, and nods her head towards the exit door.


He raises two fingers to his lips, and blows her a kiss.


He plants a kiss next to Maddie’s ear, and whispers.


David:  Maddie…


She looks up into his eyes.


David:  Let’s go home.


Maddie gives him a glorious smile.


Maddie:  Let’s go home.





Act 4, Scene 2

The Hayes/Addison Home



Maddie and David exit the limo.  They stroll hand in hand up to the front door.


David:  How come the ride home seemed so short?


Maddie:  No traffic.


David glances at his watch.


David:  It is only 9:30.  I thought Cinderella didn’t finish her gig till midnight.


Maddie:  Cinderella must have lived on the east coast.  We always get to eat dinner in the middle of the afternoon, so the east coast can get their news feeds at a “reasonable hour”.


David:  Are we gonna watch the news?


Maddie: (slyly)  What do you think?


David opens the door, into a darkened house.  Maddie looks at him apprehensively.


Maddie:  All the lights are out.


She calls out.


Maddie:  Sunny…Sunny, we’re home.


No answer.


Maddie:  Oh David….why –


David has walked into the living room, and turned on a light.


David: (happily)  Hey ---


There are flowers on the table, and a multitude of sleek white candles.  A cooler holds a bottle of champagne.


David turns to Maddie.


David:  Did you do this?


Maddie:  Not me.  You didn’t?


David finds an envelope on the Spanish chest.  He holds it up.


David:  A clue, a clue.


He withdraws a sheet of paper, and starts to read:


Dear Mommy and Daddy,


I hope you enjoyed your party.  I had a fun time too.  Tonight, I am having my very first sleepover with Sunny.  We think you can probably find something fun to do.  I will see you at breakfast.


Love ,



P.S.  Light the candles.  I’m too little to play with matches.


Maddie:  Oh David…how sweet…


David:  Way to go, Ellie, and her co-conspirator.  How about you get the candles and I get the grape juice?


Maddie:  How about we relocate them upstairs?


David:  Forget the accoutrements…how about I just sweep you off your feet, and carry you upstairs?


Maddie:  Never once in my fantasies have I ever dreamed of the two of us tumbling down those stairs like Jack and Jill.


She grins.


Maddie:  But I’ll race you.


She kicks off her shoes, and heads for the stairs, leaving David standing in the living room.


She flies around the staircase, laughing, and calls back to him.


Maddie:  Don’t forget the candles…and the champagne.


A few moments later, David enters the bedroom, a little out of breath.  He is laden down with an armful of candles, and the cooler of champagne.


Maddie sits at her dressing table, brushing out her hair.  She glances over at him.


Maddie:  You lose.


David:  Not from where I’m sitting.


He places the champagne cooler in the corner of the room, and distributes the candles in strategic spots.  Maddie continues to brush, watching him in the mirror with a half smile on her face.


Maddie: (mock-conversationally)  This really was so sweet of Sunny.  We’ll have to think of something very nice to do for her.


David:  Right now, I’d like you to be thinking about doing something nice for me.


Maddie: (teasing) Aren’t you going to flick your Bic?


David:  I’m hoping that’s a euphemism.


Maddie:  Light the candles, Addison.


As he starts to light them, Maddie switches off the lamp on her vanity.  The room is filled with shadows and pools of warm light.


Maddie rises, and comes up behind David, placing her arms around his neck.  She runs her hands over his chest.


David:  Well, Miss Hayes, it appears you may have an idea or two about tonight.


She starts to remove his tuxedo jacket.


Maddie:  Ideas…who me?


She drops his jacket and leads him to the chair, gently pushing him into it.  She drops onto his lap.


Maddie:  Well, you know what they say about mediocre minds.  Hmmmm…let’s see what we can do about these buttons.


She starts to unbutton his shirt, caressing his chest with every movement of her fingers.


David: Only if I get to return the favor.


Maddie finishes with the buttons and pulls off his shirt.


Maddie:  Later….


She leans in towards David, her lips curved against his throat.  He reaches for her.


David:  Now…


He starts to unbutton the dozens of tiny buttons that run down her back, replacing each button with a tiny kiss, and sending shivers down her spine.


Maddie sighs contentedly.


Maddie:  Mmmmmmm…it’s warm in here.


David pulls the dress off her shoulders.  She stands and it falls in a sapphire pool at her feet, leaving her in an ice blue chemise.


David:  Oh, I like the looks of that.


He rea ches for her, but she moves out of his grasp, leaning down to pick up her dress.


David:  What are you doing?


Maddie:  I’ve got to hang this dress up.  Can you imagine what those pleats would look like if I don’t?


David laughs.


David:  That might be deflating to any other guy who doesn’t know you like I do.


Maddie finishes hanging the dress, and with a flirtatious look, positions herself on the bed.


Maddie:  Well, I think –


David interrupts her with a kiss.


David:  Don’t think, just feel.


The kiss deepens and their embrace tightens – hearts pounding in their chests.  Maddie looks up at him.


Maddie:  Aren’t you the fast one, pal?


David grins.


David:  Fast is too easy…


He presses his lips to her heart as she runs her fingers through his hair.  They trade the most intimate of touches – long loving strokes that set skin to tingling.


He buries his face in her hair.


David:  Mmmm...I love the smell of your hair.


Maddie:  Thank you, Blue Moon.


He connects again with her eager lips.  She looks deeply into his eyes – receiving an almost electric jolt at what she sees there. 


He whispers.


David:  Tell me you need me.


In one moment, she feels both soothed and aroused, calmed yet awakened.  He has stripped her heart bare.


Maddie:  I need you.  I’ve always needed you.  Stay with me.


Their need becomes more urgent as two become one.  Their bodies fit together as if sculpted, and they express their love and passion in the sweetest of harmonies.





I Just Want To Lay Next To You

For Awhile

You Look So Beautiful Tonight

Your Eyes Are So Lovely

Your Mouth Is So Sweet

A Lot Of People

Misunderstand Me

That's Because They Don't

Know Me At All

I Just Want To Touch You

And Hold You

I Need You

God I Need You

I Love You So Much


Each Time The Wind Blows

I Hear Your Voice So

I Call Your Name . . .

Whispers At Morning

Our Love Is Dawning

Heaven's Glad You Came . . .


You Know How I Feel

This Thing Can't Go Wrong

I'm So Proud To Say

I Love You

Your Love's Got Me High

I Long To Get By

This Time Is Forever

Love Is The Answer


I Hear Your Voice Now

You Are My Choice Now

The Love You Bring

Heaven's In My Heart

At Your Call

I Hear Harps,

And Angels Sing


You Know How I Feel

This Thing Can't Go Wrong

I Can't Live My Life

Without You

I Just Can't Hold On

I Feel We Belong

My Life Ain't Worth Living

If I Can't Be With You


I Just Can't Stop Loving You

I Just Can't Stop Loving You

And If I Stop . . .

Then Tell Me Just What

Will I Do

'Cause I Just Can't Stop

Loving You


At Night When The

Stars Shine

I Pray In You I'll Find

A Love So True . . .

When Morning Awakes Me

Will You Come And Take Me

I'll Wait For You


You Know How I Feel

I Won't Stop Until

I Hear Your Voice Saying

"I Do"

“I Do"

This Thing Can't Go Wrong

This Feeling's So Strong

Well, My Life Ain't

Worth Living

If I Can't Be With You

I Just Can't Stop Loving You

I Just Can't Stop Loving You

And If I Stop . . .

Then Tell Me, Just What

Will I Do

I Just Can't Stop Loving You


We Can Change All The World


We Can Sing Songs Of


I Can Say, Hey . . .Farewell

To Sorrow

This Is My Life And I,

Want To See You For Always

I Just Can't Stop Loving You

I Just Can't Stop Loving You

And If I Stop . . .

Then Tell Me, Just What

Will I Do?

I Just Can't Stop Loving You.


Afterwards, they lie together, limbs intertwined, and bodies touching – comfortable and familiar.  A cool breezes flows in from the balcony, floating over their warm skin.


They look at each other, and speak as one


Maddie:  I love you, David.    David:  I love you, Maddie.


They begin to kiss again as we:





Inside the Lexus

Several weeks later




David drives, Maddie is in the passenger seat and Ellie is strapped in her car seat in the back.  She plays with her fingers and gurgles.


Maddie looks back at her and smiles, content she is happy.


She picks up the conversation.


Maddie:  It’s not that I don’t want to go out to dinner.  I’m just not sure it’s such a good idea.


David:  Since when is eating not a good idea?


Maddie:  It’s not eating.


David:  It’s because this restaurant doesn’t measure up to the Hayes seal of approval, I bet.  Smitty said it’s terrific – great Italian food, kid friendly, good house wine.  He swears once it catches on, it will be impossible to get a table.


Maddie:  I am not being critical of the restaurant.  I certainly trust Smitty.


David:  The jury’s still out on that.


Maddie:  Well, the news that Sawyer has been deported has made my day.


David:  I’m not sure he can be deported…he is an American.  But the US government was quite happy to turn him over to Interpol, and to add your kidnapping to the charges.


Maddie:  I’m happy that we probably won’t have to testify.


David:  So let’s live it up, Blondie!  A celebration dinner.


Maddie:  I’m just afraid it’s too soon.  I don’t want to be eating out in a restaurant and cause a scene.


David:  I think it’s gonna be okay.  After all it’s been a few weeks now.  The paps that are hanging at the office are even starting to dwindle down.


Maddie:  They’re out looking for other fish to fry.


David:  Not you, Goldiefish…..c’mon, let’s have a nice family dinner.


She smiles at him.


Maddie:  I’m having dessert.


David:  I like a babe with a little tiramisu on her bones.


Maddie jabs him with her elbow.


David:  Here it is.  Il Pastaio.


He pulls up to the curb.  The valet jumps from his spot on the bench outside and opens the car doors.  He stands back while Maddie and David gather Ellie and all of her gear.


David is holding Ellie in her babyseat as the valet addresses him.


Valet:  Keys in the car?


David:  You got it, Sport.


Valet:  Thank you, sir.


He stops for a moment, and studies Maddie.  She can feel herself being inspected.


Valet:  Excuse me, ma’am, but don’t I know you?


Maddie starts to answer but he interrupts.


Valet:  Yes I do…I do know you.


Maddie smiles politely and waits for the typical questions.  The valet forges on.


Valet:  You work at Trader Joe’s.  I almost didn’t recognize you without your Hawaiian shirt.


David jumps in.


David:  You’re absolutely right.  In fact, that’s where we found each other.  Our eyes met over a bottle of two buck Chuck.


Another car rolls up behind the Lexus.


Valet:  Ooops, I’ve gotta go.  Nice to see you again.  Have a nice dinner.


He pulls away in the Lexus.  Maddie and David look at each other and burst out laughing.


David:  Fifteen minutes…


Maddie:  Of fame?  Seems more like ten to me.  Thank goodness.


The moon starts to rise in the sky, and the Moonlighting theme plays as the Addison/Hayes family heads in to dinner.





Music Credits for parts 1 and 2:


The Slinky Song (Classic TV commercial) 1980s :


Only the Good Die Young – Billy Joel 1977  :


Three Little Birds – Bob Marley 1980 :


Addison’s restaurant (sic) -- Arlo Guthrie 1967  :


The Man on the Flying Trapeze – Eddie Cantor 1934 :


Only the Strong Survive – Jerry Butler 1968 :


Theme from Regis and Kathie Lee 1993 :


Blue Moon – Billie Holliday 1952 :


I Just Can’t Stop Loving You – Michael Jackson 1987 :


Additional References:


Romancing the Stone, 20th Century Fox, 1984

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Paramount, 1986


Text from the Children’s Classic, Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown, 1947




“Life is not measured by the breaths that we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”



To:  Moonlighting – your life in TV history was too short, but your influence beyond compare.  Thank you for so many moments that still take my breath away…and the inspiration to make me want to create more of those moments in the lives of Maddie and David.


To my ML friends and compadres –every one of you has a special place in my heart…that’s a region somewhere south of the brain. J  Thanks for sharing the joy.


To Bruce, Cybill and Glenn, and the rest of the ML cast and crew – You created a dream, and made it live in my head.  I’m forever grateful.


To Kim, our newest VM cohort, and our idea girl.  Now your contributions can be acknowledged, and boy, are they good ones.  Your business cards are on order, girlfriend!


To Jen and Connie – Thanks for keeping me relatively sane and relatively happy.  In life, as in baseball, there are always superstars – you’re both on my All-Star team.  DYB.


To Lizzie – You did it again.  Your amazing knack to see what is wrong, and inspire to make it better always helps me when the going gets tough.  I couldn’t find a better friend anywhere.

Comments always welcome.