Virtual Moonlighting     |   home
Sixth Season   |    Seventh Season   |    Eighth Season   |    About the Authors   |    Related Links   |    Contact Us


Virtual Moonlighting - Season Eight - Episode 12

By Lizzie Darcy


Windows? We Ain't Got No Windows! We Don't Need No Windows!

I Don’t Need to Show You Any Stinkin’ Windows!


— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —



The Hook – PC Makers Warehouse - The Pre Dawn @ Month Ago


We close in on the back door of a warehouse in the high tech section of Los Angeles.  Above the door is a sign that reads:




Two men, Fred Dobbs and Bob Curtin, are standing off to the side watching as four young Mexican males off load a truck.  Fred Dobbs is tall, dark, and thin.  He checks his watch often and looks to the east trying to hold off the dawn.  Bob Curtin, on the other hand, is medium height, strong build, blonde, extremely handsome and nervous … very nervous.  He is chain smoking cigarettes and pacing between the truck, the warehouse and the place where Dobbs is standing.  Dobbs can’t take it any more.


Fred Dobbs: Jesus Christ, Bobby! RELAX!


Bob Curtin: I don’t see how you can be so calm.  We could go to jail for God knows how many years if we get caught.


Fred Dobbs: I don’t plan on getting caught.


Bob Curtin: Oh … well … there you have it.  Fred Dobbs doesn’t plan on getting caught.   If I knew it were only a matter of planning, I would have penciled it in on my Day Runner.  What else you got planned there, Dobbsie?


Fred Dobbs: I plan on making my first million by this time next year. 


Bob Curtin: I’ll make a note of that too.


Fred Dobbs: This is a GOLD MINE, Bobby … just waiting to be tapped.


Bob Curtin: We are digging too deep.


Fred Dobbs: You been listening to that old man again.


Bob Curtin: Howie knows, he’s been doing this for years … well this kind of work … he says we are taking too much.


Fred Dobbs: Howie is an old man and he is on the inside, so of course he is going to be nervous. 


Bob Curtin: They make 100 a week but only 85 get into inventory.  Who’s doing the math?


Fred Dobbs: Don’t let Howie fool you. He’s got it under control. This was his idea … mostly. 


Bob Curtin:  And we take all the risks.  My dad will be so thrilled that 50gs worth of education was pissed away by some old drunk I met at a bar.


Fred Dobbs:  Yannis will never catch on.


Bob Curtin:  Yannis Andropov?  The Computer Greek? (he motions toward the sign)  He is a brain with legs, an IQ looking for a Mensa test, he KNOWS already.


Fred Dobbs: Yannis is too busy these days.  Have you met Petra?


Bob Curtin: Petra?


Fred Dobbs: Petra had a promising career in the movie industry … the ‘not ready for prime time’ movie industry … and has decided to use her talents on our behalf.


Bob Curtin: You hired a hooker to keep Yannis distracted?


Fred Dobbs: She is not a hooker … she’s a star of the silver screen, with a talent … well two of them (makes the international signal for a woman’s breasts) and she is now the SPECIAL assistant to Yannis and … our new partner.


Bob Curtin: Partner?  Just what we need – another partner. 


Fred Dobbs: Bobby … where is your vision?


Bob Curtin: Vision?  Who can see through all these PARTNERS?


Fred Dobbs drops his cigarette and crushes it with his shoe.  He nods to the four men who are now sitting on the dock.


Fred Dobbs: These guys are done.  Pay ‘em off and let’s go get some breakfast before our meetings.


Bob Curtin: Fine.  (Moving away)  Meetings?  What meetings?


Fred Dobbs: We are meeting Howie at 6:30; Petra at 7:30 and the new guy is coming in at 8:30.


Bob Curtin: What new guy?


Fred Dobbs: The salesman I hired.


Bob Curtin: What do we need a salesman for?


Fred Dobbs: He’s for show.  We need to look legit, don’t we?


Bob Curtin: This guy is going to  --.


Fred Dobbs: This guy is nothing … he is just a front man, a dupe.  And if  … BIG IF … anything happens, he’ll take the fall.


Bob Curtin: So who is he?  Do you know anything about him?


Fred Dobbs: Nah … He’s some schmo … can’t keep a job to save his butt.  The kind of guy that is all mouth and no brains.  Probably couldn’t sell parkas to the Eskimos.  Anderson?  Adderman?  Addison … Richard Addison … Dick … Dickie.


Bob Curtin rolls his eyes and shakes his head.  He doesn’t like the idea of Salesman Dick.  A homeless man walks up to Cody.


Man:  Can you help a fellow American who is down on his luck?


Cody flips him a dollar and walks away.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —


Act I - Monday


Scene 1 – Blue Moon Office, Morning, Current Day … @ month later


Agnes is sorting through the mail.   She pulls a letter out and looks nervous.  She opens it carefully and reads slowly.  A smile spreads across her face that turns into a grin, which leads to Agnes jumping off her chair screaming with excitement. 


Agnes:  Oh My GOD!!!!  I can’t believe it.  This is SO GREAT!!!


The staff looks over at her disinterestedly and silently decides who is going to ask her what is so great.  Bert loses.


Bert: What is it, lamb chop?


The staff groans.


Agnes: The HONEY.


The staff groans again.


Agnes: She won the HONEY.


Bert looks back at the staff and they all shrug.


Agnes:  Oh … I gotta tell her.  She is going to be so thrilled.  I can’t believe it.  Where is Miss Hayes?


David enters in time to hear the question.


David:  It’s beauty day in Hayesland: touch up the ol’ hair and nails, anything to make me the envy of other men.


Agnes: When is she coming in? When will she be here?


David: Should be here in an hour … what’s cooking, cookie?


Agnes:  She won the HONEY.  This is SO great.


David looks back over to the staff.  They shrug and shake their heads.


David:  Miss DiPesto … THE HONEY?


Agnes:  Every year the A.A.P.I.R. picks a woman who most embodies the principles and standards outlined and she is given the Honey West award. 


Agnes pushes the letter at him.  David takes the letter from her and scans it as he walks to his office.  He leaves the door open and Agnes and the rest of the staff follow.  Pulling a bottle of juice out of the refrigerator, David drinks and slumps down on to the couch. 


David:  OK … first things first.  What the heck is A.A.P.I.R.?


Agnes:  The American Association of Private Investigator Receptionists.


David:  Gesundheit!


Agnes:  It is the professional organization that I belong to.  We meet four times a year.  Very informative.


David: Founded no doubt by the veritable Effie Perine of Archer and Spade Investigations.


Agnes: Who?  Oh no.  Our group is not that old.  We do some great work for women.  We are working to change the attitude that receptionists are a whole lot more than just something nice to look at.


There is grumbling from the staff.


David:  No one here thinks of you like that, Miss DiPesto.  So tell me about this award that Miss Hayes has won.


Agnes:  Every year A.A.P.I.R. picks a detective that best embodies the spirit of Honey West.  For the past three years it has gone to that glorified associate, Laura Holt.  I think Mildred Krebbs has got an in on the section committee.


David:  And what exactly is the SPIRIT of Honey West? I mean I have my own ideas but…


All the men nod and make man noises.


Agnes:  A woman who is her own boss, calls her own shots.  Who can use her brains and not lose her femininity.  Smart, independent and sexy.


David:  Well that is our Miss Hayes … to a tee.  (David can hardly contain his amusement.)  So what does this award mean?  Is there a plaque or something?


Agnes:  She will be invited to speak at our next meeting, which will be followed by a dinner and an award ceremony where past winners will speak.  The whole staff will be invited.  It’s only a $50 donation per person.


The staff mills out of the room and David and Agnes are left alone.


Agnes:  It’s a BIG DEAL, Mr. Addison, a huge honor.


David stands up.


David: Yeah, No, I can see what a HUGE deal this is.  I know that Miss Hayes will be … be thrilled.  


He hands the letter to Agnes as he leads her toward the door.


Agnes:  Don’t tell her.  I mean I want to be the one.


David:  Of course Agnes, this has to come from you.


Bert pokes his head back into the office.


Bert:  Hey Agnes, the phone is ringing off the hook out here.  And Mr. Addison, Mr. Addison is here to see you.


David:  I am? (Checks his watch) I am always late.  Send me in.


Bert:  Your brother.


Agnes:  You won’t say anything?  I can count on you, right? 


David:  Not a word … not a syllable, Miss DiPesto.  But I would like to be there when you tell her.  In fact why don’t you plan a little Blue Moon Award ceremony for this afternoon?


Agnes:  Are you sure she would like that?


David:  Surer than sure.  Spare no expense … get at least two bottles of the bubbly. 


He pulls some money out of his pocket and gives it to her.  Agnes leaves.  David is chuckling to himself.  He hasn’t had this much fun teasing Maddie since the second season.  Richie walks in. 


Richie:  What is so funny, brother of mine?


David:  Maddie won the Honey.


Richie:  Maddie won the money?  What money?


David:  Never mind; just be here this afternoon if you want a good laugh.


Richie:  At Maddie’s expense?


David:  Good clean fun, my son.  So what is up with you?  Out of work again?


Richie: Just for that … I won’t take you to lunch.


David:  There’s a switch. 


Richie:  I was just closing a big deal at the Herbal Life building next door.


David: A BIG deal … you now selling Herbal Life?


Richie:  No, the same thing I have been doing for the past four weeks.  Computers … computer systems.


David:  What do you know about computers?


Richie:  What’s there to know? Garbage in, garbage out.


David:  You’re a natural.  So what is the name of this Gravy Train you’re riding?


Richie:  Sierra Madre Solutions … the hidden treasure of the electronic information age.  You could bring Blue Moon into the 90’s with a few computers around here, little bro.


David: Not my area … but check with Agnes.  If you are gonna sell the idea to anyone, you need to get her first.  If you get past Agnes, then you are sure to get an audience with the lady of the house.  Of course she is pretty tight with a buck. 


Richie:  Putty in my hands … So … lunch?


David:  What are you in such a good mood for?


Richie:  (big grin) She’s coming home.


David:  Lassie?


Richie:  Amy.


David:  She won the case?


Richie:  Nothing less … my Ames … she is the best.


David:  So the phone lines are working again?


Richie:  We’ve talked.  (He can’t contain his joy.)  She’s coming home … Friday … flight 31 … 2:49PM … United.


David:  What gate?


Rich:  Huh?


David:  Forget it.  She coming home to you … or just to pack the rest of her stuff?


Rich:  Not sure yet.  But it is looking like she might stay.


David:  Well Rich … if there is a way to screw it up ---.


Richie:  Shut up Dave.  It will work.  It’s got to … my luck has changed.  First this GREAT job fell into my lap.  And now Ames –


David: … will too?


Richie:  From your lips to God’s ears. 


There is a knock on the door and Agnes pokes her head in.


Agnes: Mr. Andropov is on the phone for you, he needs to reschedule.


David:  No lunch today, Rich.  But meet me at The Paradise after work, and I’ll take your money.


Richie:  Better bring YOUR MONEY … you don’t stand a chance in hell.  I am living under a lucky star.


David:  So long as it doesn’t fall on your head.


Richie:  Agnes … just the woman I need to speak with.  Have you ever thought of trying to make your job easier?


David:  Don’t sign anything, Agnes.


Richie wraps his arm around Agnes and they walk out to the outer office.



Scene 2 – Park at LACMA, Early Afternoon


Maddie and David drive into the parking structure next to the Los Angles County Museum of Arts.  They park and walk through the park toward the Tar Pits on the other side.


Maddie:  So why did he want to meet us here?


David:  Don’t know.


Maddie:  Don’t know?


David:  Couldn’t say.


Maddie:  Couldn’t say?    


David:  Must be a reason.


Maddie:  Must be a reason?


David:  Polly wanna cracker?


Maddie: Polly what?


David:  Got ya.


Maddie:  David.


David:  Maddie.


Maddie:  We’re meeting him at the Tar Pits?

David:  By the mother elephant stuck in the tar.


Maddie:  It’s just strange, that’s all.


David:  Speaking of strange … got dinner plans with Richie tonight.


Maddie:  Dinner?


David:  Might be a liquid dinner.  Shootin’ pool and taking him of his hard earned money.


Maddie:  How’s his job going?


David:  Great … so he says.  He’s going to try to sell you some computers, but he has got to get through Agnes first.


Maddie:  Any word from the wicked witch of the east?


David:  Coming home Friday.


Maddie:  Friday?  Is she coming home to stay?  Or to pack her bags and rip his heart out again?


David:  Don’t know.


Maddie:  Don’t know?


David:  Couldn’t say.


Maddie:  Couldn’t say?


David:  Couldn’t care less.


Maddie:  He is your brother.


David:  You need to widen your vocabulary Polly.


Maddie:  Don’t you care if your brother is happy?


David:  You care enough for the both of us.


Maddie:  David.


David:  Maddie.  We’re gonna have to put this family discussion on pause … (he nods to a geeky looking guy walking quickly toward them with a box under his arm) Must be our Mr. Andropov.  Beware of geeks bearing gifts.


Yannis Andropov:  You are Maddie Hayes.


Maddie:  I am, and this is my partner David Addison.


Hands are shaken all around.


Yannis:  I am sorry to be so clandestine, so cloak and dagger … if you will.


David:  I know I will.  Maddie?


Maddie:  How can we help you Mr. Andropov?


Yannis:  I own a company that manufactures computers … personal computers … PC’s … PC Makers is the name.


David:  Original.


Yannis:  You may have heard of us … we were on the cover of Forbes last month. 


Maddie:  I didn’t see it.


David:  Our subscription lapsed.


Yannis:  No matter … the computer industry has become very cut throat and it is only going to get worse.  With the split between Steve and Bill …


David:  Steve?


Maddie:  Bill?


Yannis:  Apple vs. Windows … and now this kid from Texas … Dell what’s his name … there is no telling where it will all end.  It probably never will. But there is enough money to be made for all of us.  Maybe too much.  It brings out the worst in people.


Maddie:  And why did you come to us?


Yannis:  Someone is stealing from me.  It is an inside job … or at least someone on the inside knows about it.


David:  If you know who it is …?


Yannis:  I don’t … I have an idea … but I need proof.  I know Petra is in on it.


Maddie:  Petra?


Yannis:  The … office manager.  She is more of a … shall we say … a perk.


Maddie:  Excuse me?


Yannis:  She can’t type, can’t file, can’t answer a phone but what she does do for me is ... a perk.


He produces a picture of a very sexy scantily clad woman.


David:  It’s PERKs like these that make raises redundant.


Maddie grabs the picture away from him.


Maddie:  Why did you hire her?


Yannis:  She really wanted the job and … well … look at her.   


David:  Well they say smart is sexy.  (Takes the picture back and smiles.)


Yannis:  She is in on it, but she can’t be doing this alone.  She doesn’t have the IQ.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, she makes the most of what she does have.


David:  I’ll bet.


Yannis:  I’d pay her for doing nothing …


Maddie:  (eyeing David) Got a few of those back at the office.


Yannis:  … but I draw the line a stealing from me … my company. 


David:  You got to draw a line … (cocking his head to look at the picture) but how much could she possibly …


Maddie:  (taking the picture away from David and handing it back to Yannis) Have you been to the police?


Yannis:  No.  I don’t want just Petra and whoever she is working with on the inside.  I want them all.  I want them taken down and thrown in jail.  I want their operation shut down for good.  And I want them to PAY.


David:  We can do that … now about this Petra.


Maddie:  What other information do you have?


Yannis:   (hands over the box) These are detailed inventory records of purchases, sales etc.  With this I can show you that we are losing more than 15 units a day.  We have increased production in the last month by 500%, and that is when it came out.  I have no idea how long this has been going on, but I want it stopped.  Can you help me?


David:  We can help you, Mr. Andropov.  So Petra is the key…


Maddie:  We will take the case, Mr. Andropov. 


Yannis:  Thank you.  I have made arrangements for you two to come in and tour the plant tomorrow morning at 10AM.  My plant manager, Howie, will show you around.  You can meet all the players then. 


David:  Now we are talking.


Yannis:  Your cover is that you are going to be the distributors in the Pacific Northwest … Seattle.


David:  They have the bluest skies I’ve ever seen in Seattle.


Yannis:  We can’t talk about this at the plant.  That is why I asked for the meeting here.  No one can know that I hired you.  No one can see us together.


Maddie:  We are professionals, Mr. Andropov. 


Yannis:  Right … right … I’m sorry.  I don’t want this to drag out any longer than it already has.


Maddie:  We’ll be in touch.


Yannis:  NO … no I will call you.  Don’t call me.  You deal with Howie … I have a sneaking suspicion it is Howie and Petra.  They will both pay for this … and ALL the cronies that are working with them.  I want them arrested and tried to the fullest extent of the law.  I want to see them locked up for the next 50 years.  They can’t steal from me … my hard work … my ideas … capitalizing on me … scum of the earth.


Maddie and David exchange glances.  Yannis storms away.


David:  What a piece of work.  Needs to look up from his keyboard more often.


Maddie:  Guess we got ourselves a stakeout, partner … do we need to go home and … (she runs her fingers along the side of his jaw) … get some ‘sleep’ before tonight?  (She kisses him lightly on the cheek.)


David:  Madolyn Hayes!  Are you suggesting what I THINK you are suggesting?


Maddie:  Need to get your mind off of Petra.


David: (wrapping his arm around her) Petra who? She’s got nothing on you… you are smart and sexy …just like I like my women.


Maddie: WoMEN?


David:  Woman … one woman … all I can handle … more than I can handle … you’re my Honey W-?  (David cringes.  Just remembers that he needs to take Maddie back to the office.)


Maddie:  Honey what?


David: Nothing, but we can’t go home … we have to go back to the office … I mean we have to go back to the office first.


Maddie:  Why?


David:  We just have to.  I can’t believe I am saying this … can we push the ‘sleep’ off for a couple of hours?


Maddie:  A couple of hours?  Then it really will be sleep.


Maddie walks away and David shifts the box from one arm to the next. 


David: (mumbling to himself) Doesn’t seem so funny anymore … The Honey West Award … thanks a lot Agnes … now I am going to be up all night … in the freezing cold … nothing but memories of last weekend to keep me warm …


A homeless man walks up to David.


Man:  Can you help a fellow American who is down on his luck?


David flips him a dollar and walks away.



Scene 3 – Maddie’s Office, Late Afternoon


Maddie walks into her office holding a champagne glass and looking a little strained. Agnes is following along behind her like a puppy.


Agnes:  So were you really surprised, Miss Hayes?


Maddie:  I was very surprised.  It is a very nice honor Agnes.  Thank you.


Agnes:  No one deserves it more than you do Miss Hayes.


Maddie is embarrassed and doesn’t know how to change the subject.  David and Richie are standing in the doorway.  David, who can barely contain his amusement, jumps into help.


David:  So Agnes, did my boy Richie here sell you a bill of goods?


Agnes:  Actually it is a very good proposal.


Richie: Thank you Agnes.


Maddie:  This is the computer thing?


Richie:  Not just computers Maddie … solutions for a growing business.  A gold mine of a management tool.


Maddie:  Agnes?


Agnes:  We could become much more efficient with a small network of say four computers, one for me, one for the staff and one each for the two of you.  It could be a peer-to-peer system.  There would be no need for a server of any kind.  It would reduce our paperwork and with the proper software we could track our payroll, expenses, clients and billing.  It would reduce the time it takes to do the end of the month and end of the year paperwork by more than half.  I have outlined what would be needed, over and above the actual hardware and the time it would take to get us up to speed.  With four units, I would say no longer than a month, month and a half, maybe two of dedicated time to input the history, set up reports and get us going.  Then it is just a matter of maintaining databases.  I have also outlined the training that would be needed and how is should be broken down so not lose any coverage in the office.  We would not lose our hard copies, but maintaining case files in a computer system allows for much more flexibility and research capabilities.   There are other considerations, virus software, system maintenance, upgrades and depreciation.  Once you put your data into that black box, you never go back.  So there will need to be a line in the budget for computers, system maintenance and training, constant training.  But if you consider the advantages and the increased business that Blue Moon has gotten of late, it would free up some of the office staff to be field workers, thereby bringing in more cases and more money.  It could pay for itself in say ---.


Maddie:  Thank you Agnes.


David:  (whispers to Richie) Did you sell her that line of tripe?


Richie:  I have no idea what she is talking about.


Maddie:  (reading over the file) As usual you are more than thorough.


Agnes:  Yes ma’am.


Maddie:  So Richie why should I buy these from you?


Richie:  Cause you love me.


Maddie:  Agnes?


Agnes:  They are a good price … a very good price.  The last page of the proposal has a comparison of prices and options.  I believe that Sierra Madre Solutions is a good choice.  Although there is a guy in Texas … Dell something or other, who is at least as good.  I would not recommend PC Makers.


Maddie:  Why?


Agnes:  He is a client … but they are also an unknown … new to the computer world and his technology is different than the mainstream.  It could turn out to be the best thing since the invention of the floppy disc but ---  I have the same concerns about Sierra Madre Solutions, but since Mr. Addison’s brother is working ---


Maddie:  OK Ok … Sold.


David:  Oh brother … who knew you were going to be such a pushover. 


Maddie:  Thank you Agnes.


Agnes leaves.


Maddie:  So you are liking this new job?


Richie:  Most of my sales are not made for me like that one was, but yeah.  I’m doing OK.


Maddie:  Good.  When are you coming over for dinner again?  Soon?


Richie:  Amy is coming home Friday. (He nudges David.)  … So this weekend is out. Maybe sometime next week?


Maddie:  So Amy is coming back, huh?


Richie:  Yep.


Maddie:  To stay?


David: (interrupting) Well Rich … why don’t you go finalize this deal with Agnes and I’ll catch up with you later?


David rushes Richie out the door and closes it quickly behind him.


David:  What is wrong with you?


Maddie:  I beg your pardon?


David:  Should be calling you Karl Malden with that BIG NOSE you got.  Leave him alone.  Leave Amy alone.  Let them figure it out without mucking it up.


Maddie:  I was not STICKING my nose in and I wasn’t MUCKING it up. I was asking a question.


David:  It is none of your business.


Maddie:  I care about Richie and I don’t want to see him get hurt.


David:  He is a big boy Maddie.


Maddie:  Who is going to be chewed up and spit out by that viper.


David:  This is about Amy?


Maddie:  This is about Amy and Richie … and I think he can do much better.


David:  You don’t like Amy?


Maddie:  I have no opinion about Amy … I just think –


David:  NO OPINION? You have an opinion about what socks the doorman is wearing. 


Maddie:  David.


David:  It doesn’t concern you, Maddie … it is not your business.


Maddie:  I can’t believe you are taking Amy’s side in this.


David:  SIDE?  SIDE?  I didn’t know there were sides. 


Maddie:  Of course there are sides.


David:  Do I have time to place a bet?


Maddie:  Go to hell, David.


David:  Fine.


Maddie:  Fine?


David:  Good.


Maddie: Good?


David:  OK.


Maddie: OK.  Good.  Fine.  (picking up her briefcase) I am going home … ALONE … there is a stakeout tonight, so don’t drink too much dinner.


She strides past him and slams the door behind her.  David looks around the office.


David:  Guess I am on the couch again.  (Flops down and chuckles) Maddie … Maddie … Maddie … what did Richie’s little woman say to my Honey West?  (Yawning) Smart, independent, sexy and the biggest busybody I know.  I’d like to keep her body busy … (yawn) but better wait till she cools off.


— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —


Act II – Thursday/Friday (Early AM)


Scene 1 – Sierra Madre Solutions, Afternoon


Richard Addison is sitting on the edge of a makeshift desk writing up his latest order for 15 units (he loves calling them units) for the Accounting Firm down the hall from Blue Moon.  He is making a killing at 15555 Century Park East.  Fred Dobbs and Bob Curtin are scene through the window to the “executive” office (a room blocked off with a door, drop ceiling and glass).  There is an older man in there with them and the discussion is getting heated.  Richie turns his back to make it appear that he is not listening.  In reality he is not picking up much of the conversation, and wants to desperately.


Cut to Inside the Office


Dobbs: What do you mean, “we have to cool it,” Howie?  We have deliveries to make!


Howie:  We screwed up Dobbs.  We dug too deep.  He knows.  Andropov hired a detective.


Curtin:  A Detective!


Howie:  Yeah … they are going to put two and two together and come up with THREE … US THREE!!!


Dobbs:  Don’t forget Petra.


Howie:  Petra!  Forget Petra … she would sell out her own mother to keep herself out of jail.


Curtin:  Maybe we should listen to him, Dobbsie.


Dobbs:  Don’t “Dobbsie” me … what is wrong with you two?  Fear of failure?  Can’t deal with being RICH?


Howie:  Not much to spend it on in Sing-Sing.


Dobbs:  Look, you do what you do Howard and let me handle the rest.


Howie:  We had a real sweet deal and you had to get greedy.


Dobbs:  Don’t lay this at my feet … as soon as Dickie showed up and started selling the crap out of your stuff … you had dollar signs in your eyes just like me.


Howie:  We’ve got to lay off for a while.


Curtin:  I think we should, Dobbs.


Dobbs: All right, All right … after we get the stuff we need tonight … just one more load … make it a big load; we’ll lay off.


Howie:  No … no more.


Dobbs:  Look, Howie … we made commitments … we need this last load.  Just this last one.  Then we can retire.  Way short of a cool mil, but enough to get us to Tampico and keep us in style.


Howie:  Dobbs!


Dobbs:  What is one more … let’s do it. 


Curtin:  What about the detective?


Dobbs:  We can handle him … some damn gumshoe with a smoking problem and a fedora?


Howie:  Actually it’s Maddie Hayes.


Curtin:  The model for that shampoo?  God, I used to LOVE her when I was a kid.


Howie:  She hasn’t aged a day.


Dobbs:  You are worried about some damned over the hill cover girl? 


Howie:  She is a detective … and she seems real smart.


Dobbs:  She’s a skirt … I can deal with a skirt.  You just be ready tonight when we get there.


Howie:  But –


Dobbs:  That’s it!  End of meeting!


Dobbs gets up and storms out of the office.  Bob Curtin and Howie exchange a panicked yet resigned look.  Dobbs is breezing past Richie, when Richie stops him.


Richie:  Excuse me Mr. Dobbs.  Is everything all right?


The scowl on Dobbs face is immediately gone and he goes into boss mode.


Dobbs:  Dickie … what you got there?  (pulling the order form out of Richard’s hands) … 15 … (he looks up at Curtin and Howie)  Our boy Dickie here just sold 15 more.  Wowee … you are on a role … on fire … nothing can touch you.  I am not sure if our production end can keep up with you.  (He glances back at Howie.)


Richie:  These units sell themselves, Mr. Dobbs.


Dobbs:  Then what do I need you for?  (He grins back at Richie and then slaps him on the back.)  Just kidding Dickie ol’ boy … you are making this company the next … I don’t even know what it will be like … but we’ll all be rich. 


Richie: Yes, sir. I can see that on the horizon.  Speaking of that Mr. Dobbs, you have not paid me … I mean I would never ask, I know you would never leave me high and dry, it is just that it has been over a month and my wife –


Dobbs:  You got a wife, Dickie?


Richie:  I do.  She is coming back in town … she has been away … but she is coming back into town tomorrow.


Dobbs:  And you want to spend time with her … by all means Dickie … take the day off, heck take all next week off ... take two … you have earned it.


Richie:  Yes sir, thank you Mr. Dobbs … you see that is what I am getting at … the “earning” part … I was hoping that I could get my commission check … tomorrow would be fine.


Dobbs:  Of course … sure … I completely understand … should have thought of that before … we have been trying so hard to keep up with your sales that we completely forgot to pay you, right Bob?


Curtain:  Right Dobbsie.


Dobbs:  The fact of the matter is that neither Bob nor I have pulled a salary in say two or three months.  We’ve been putting all the money back into the business for overhead, parts, manufacturing … as it were …


Howie gets disgusted and walks out.


Dobbs:  … but then again we are not married with a wife coming home after being away.  Sure, Sure.  I can see that you should want a paycheck.  Take her out … dinner … dancing … maybe a little something to open … sure sure … I’ll bet you know how to treat a lady.


Richie:  Thank you sir.


Dobbs:  We have some more meetings this afternoon, but we’ll get to the books tonight.  Come back in the morning and we’ll have a check for you … God knows you deserve a bonus. (whispers) I’ll see what I can do – get it past the man with the checkbook over there – put in a good word for you.


Dobbs wraps his arm around Richie and leads him to the door.


Richie:  Thank you Mr. Dobbs.


Dobbs:  Not too early now, Dickie … take the morning off … sleep in … get your rest so that you can be in top shape for your wife when she gets back.


Richie:  Around noon?


Dobbs:  Make it after lunch so we can be sure to get to the bank.


Richie:  I need to be at the airport around 2:30.


Dobbs: Plenty of time.  (hurries him out the door) See you tomorrow Dick.  Great job. (closes the door behind him)


Bob: A bonus?


Dobbs:  Yeah … right … a bonus … like that will happen … he’ll be lucky if the check doesn’t bounce.



Scene 2 – Blue Moon, Late Evening


There are open cartons and packing material lying all over the floor of the office.  Bert tries to get in the door, but it is nearly blocked with all the stuff.


Bert:  Agnes?  Agnes?


Agnes:  What? (calling from David’s office and emerging with tools and instruction manuals in her hands and cable wire around her neck)


Bert:  I thought you were going to leave this for the weekend.


Agnes:  I was … but I just got carried away.  Mr. Addison and Miss Hayes have been working so hard on that stake out, I thought it might be nice to get this up and running while they are out of the office. 


She goes back to David’s office and Bert follows.


Bert:  I have been going through that stuff that Andropov gave them … there are some SERIOUS discrepancies.


Agnes:  (ignoring him) Oh yeah … hand me that cable … the printer cable … the other one … yeah.


Bert:  Did you know that Andropov owns PC Makers?


Agnes:  Yeah … so.


Bert:  I don’t know … it just seems … I don’t know … coincidental that Blue Moon is working a case that involves theft of computers on the same episode that we are installing computers.


Agnes:  You have been watching too much TV, Bert.


Bert:  Maybe, anyway … there are some big discrepancies.  From what I can figure … even with normal shrink …


Agnes:  Shrink?


Bert:  Reduction in physical inventory caused primarily by shoplifting and employee theft.”


Agnes:  You think the employees are stealing them for their own private use?


Bert:  No … I mean in the manufacturing business there is a natural loss of pieces and parts … so just because you buy say ten hard drives, ten mother boards, ten processors, and ten whosie-whats-its does not mean that you get ten fully built machines.  I thought it was shrink … maybe it is overages/underages … or damage …


Agnes:  Which ever ….


Bert:  My point is that he is buying enough parts to make over 600 units a week, yet only 450 are getting into inventory.


Agenes:  So someone is stealing the parts?


Bert:  No … unless the employees putting these things together are slower than molasses.


Agnes:  So Miss Hayes and Mr. Addison are on the right track … staking out the warehouse I mean.


Bert:  Yeah … I guess so … do you know what you are doing Agnes?


She shoots him a look and he sits down.


Bert:  What is this WINDOWS 3.1 thing?


Agnes:  It is the operating system.


Bert:  Operating System … I thought we just turned these things on.


Agnes:  Bert … you may know how to use a computer … you may even be SUPER HACKER … I didn’t forget that little HACK job you did in ‘Shirts and Skins’ … but you know nothing about the hardware or how to put one of these things together.  Face it, Bert; you are a user.


Bert:  A user?


Agnes:  An end user.


Bert:  Is that bad?


Agnes:  No … without you users … we tech-types would have nothing to do.


Bert:  (grins suggestively) So we go hand in hand, like bread and butter, two sides of the same coin, a match made in he…


Agnes:  Leave it alone, Bert.


Bert:  So the honeymoon is over?


Agnes leans over and takes his hand.


Agnes:  The honeymoon will never be over, Lamb Chop.  But for now … stay out of my way.


Bert:  Roger that.  Did you get dinner?


Agnes:  Had the last of the cookies you were hiding in your desk.


Bert:  COOKIES!!  You ate my cookies! (She ignores him.)  I’ll go get some Chinese.  You need a break.


Agnes nods and waves him away.  She sits down at David’s desk and starts the install of Windows 3.1.  It goes through its gyrations and Agnes puts in the information requested when prompted to do so.  After a few minutes of this a screen pops up and asks her to input the Manufacturer’s Number.  It appears to be a 69 digit alphanumeric number.  Agnes starts digging through paper work searching for such a number.  She tries one – no good, and another and finally a third.  The screen goes blank and Agnes thinks that she has found the right code.  In moments the following message comes up on her screen.



Agnes:  Oops.


There is a quick knock on David’s open door. Agnes looks up to the face of Yannis Andropov.


Agnes:  Uh Oh.


Yannis:  Is there a problem?



Scene 3 – PC Makers Warehouse, An Hour Before Dawn


Maddie is sitting in the driver’s seat looking though binoculars at the back door of PC Makers.  She is dressed all in black and she has gloves on.  The radio is on and down low.  David slips back into the car with two HUGE cups of Starbucks coffee.


David:  What ever happened to real coffee?


Maddie:  Are you kidding?  TOFFEE NUT LATTE Buttery, toffee-nut flavored latte with whipped cream and toffee sprinkles … Starbucks reinvented coffee … made it into something to savor, not just a --.


David:  Cup o’ Joe?  Java meets The New Age. (looking into his cup) Are there crystals in there?


Maddie: We should invest in this company.  I bet in 5 years … 10 years … there is going to be one on every corner and coffee will have taken on a whole new image.


David:  It is coffee Maddie.  It has been around for hundreds of years.


Maddie:  Mark my words.


David: As long as you don’t mark it with our hard earned dollars.  $2.00 a cup … they have got to be out of their minds.  Who is going to pay that?


Maddie:  I am amazed that you found a place open at this hour of the night … morning.


David:  Los Angeles – the city that doesn’t sleep.


Maddie:  That’s New York. … That Toddling Town?


David:  Chicago … City of Lights? 


Maddie Paris … City of Night?


David:  Jim Morrison is no Frank Sinatra; L.A. is my Lady.


Maddie:  What did you get?


David:  I don’t know … some damn thing … Espresso Frappuccino … I asked the kid for something that would keep me up all night.


Maddie:  It’s got ice in it.


David:  I got my baby to keep me warm.  (Leans over next to her)


Maddie:  Not that warm. (pushes him back)


David:  So you are still mad at me?


Maddie:  When was I mad at you?


David:  When haven’t you been?


Maddie leans over and kisses him gently on the lips.


Maddie:  I can remember once or twice … just today in fact.


She kisses him again.  Prince’s voice comes up the radio …


I wanna do it … Do it all night … I wanna do it, oh yeah … Do it to you right
Do it all night … I, I wanna do it, oh yeah … Do it to you right


Maddie:  (ejecting the tape) I can’t hear this tape one more time, David.


David:  It’s our STAKEOUT tape … meant to keep us up … all night long


Maddie: If I hear it one more time, I am going to kill somebody … stakeout over.


David:  Then I guess we’ll have to talk to stay awake.  Or we can play The Dating Game.  (hums the dating game music)


Maddie looks at him.


Maddie:  What do you want to talk about?


David:  I don’t know, what do you want to talk about?


Maddie:  David.


David:  We could play twenty questions.


Maddie:  Fine … I got one … go ahead.


David:  Animal, Vegetable or Mineral?


Maddie:  That’s one … sorry … only “yes” or “no” questions allowed.


David:  Animal?


Maddie:   Oh yes …


David:  Tall, sexy and devilishly handsome?


Maddie:  No, No and definitely NOT.


David:  I give.


Maddie:  What, if it’s not about you, you don’t want to play?


David:  So you admit that I am tall, sexy and devilishly handsome.


Maddie:  I wouldn’t say that you were TALL … exactly.  (smiles)


They are silent for a moment as a delivery truck drives by; David has the camera at the ready.


David:  (adjusting the focus and light meter for the approach of dawn) So why don’t you like Amy?


Maddie:  What?


David:  Come on … tell me … come on Maddie … we said no more secrets.


Maddie:   What are you talking about?


David:  (puts the camera down) Oh yeah … that was on General Hospital today …


Maddie:  You were watching soap operas today?


David:  Couldn’t sleep … every damn character on the show must have said that line … three times.


Maddie:  Maybe you should lay off the Espresso Frappuccinos.


David:  Guess so.


Long silent pause.


David:  Just tell me, Maddie. It will keep you awake …


Maddie:  David.


David:  Maddie.


Maddie:  Pick another topic.


David:  I think this is a topical topic … not quite tropical.


Maddie:  No one can accuse Amy of being TROPICAL.


David:  You ran into her in New York, didn’t you?


Maddie:  (resisting) Yes.


David:  And.


Maddie:  And nothing!


David:  You ran into her in New York and what happened?


Maddie:  Nothing happened.


David:  Did you meet for dinner?  Go shopping?  Take in a play?  Get your hair done?


Maddie:  We ran into each other in the lobby of the hotel.  She dumped on Agnes and we had words … enough said. 


David:  I’ll bet there was plenty said.


Maddie:  She said that she was done with Richie and - … I hope he doesn’t get his hopes up for some great reunion.


David:  What words did YOU have?


Maddie:  I don’t remember the dialogue … word for word … verbatim …


David:  The gist?


Maddie:  I called her: a cold hearted, controlling bitch that would not know a genuine feeling if it bit her in the butt.


David: (laughs) Bet that played well … what did she say?


Maddie:  Nothing …


David:  Nothing?


Maddie:  Nothing important … I don’t remember.


David:  Don’t or won’t?


Maddie:  Is it enough to say that she returned fire?


David:  What did she hit?


Maddie:  Look, Amy thinks as little of us as we do of her.


David:  Who is WE paleface?


Maddie:  So again, you are taking Amy’s side.


David:  There ain’t no SIDES to it, Maddie.  She is Richie’s wife ---


Maddie:  For the moment.


David:  For however long it lasts … we don’t get to choose who Richie marries.


Maddie:  They are nothing alike … she is a cold unfeeling bitch and Richie is warm and sweet and fun… they have no business being together in the first place.


David:  Is this about us or them?


Maddie:  Get over yourself, Addison.  Some things in this world are NOT about you. 


David:  You can’t prove that.


Maddie:  I don’t like her; she doesn’t like me … or you for that matter.


David:  What’s wrong with me?


Maddie:  Other than your colossal ego?


David:  Thought you liked ‘em BIG. 


Maddie glares and David grins.


David:  So I guess she hit pretty close to the bone, huh?  Damn … wish I were there with a bathtub full of Jell-o.


Maddie:  You are the lowest form of swine, Addison.


A truck drives up to the back door of PC Makers.


David:  A swine that is about to crack this case.  (He nods to the door and picks up the camera)


Two men (Fred Dobbs and Bob Curtain) climb out the truck.  They open the back and four young Mexican males jump down out of the back.  The back door of PC Makers is opened and Howie steps through the door.  Words, heated words are exchanged.  The taller darker man (Dobbs) pulls Howie off to the side.  The young men are instructed to load the truck as the shorter man (Curtain) joins the intense discussion going on between the other two.


Maddie:  That’s it … lets call the police.


David:  Wait … Andropov wants the whole ring … not these flunkies.  (more pictures)


Maddie:  There is a RING now?


David:  We got to follow them to their hideout.


Maddie:  Hideout?


David:  Nab the ring leader.


Maddie:  Hideout?  Ringleader?  Has General Hospital gone mobular?


David:  Just get their license plate.


In about 45 minutes the truck is fully loaded.  The young men take money from the shorter man and disappear into the night/morning.  Howie locks the door from the outside and jumps in the truck with the two other men.  They drive away.


Maddie and David follow, giving them lots of room.


David:  Don’t lose them Maddie.


Maddie:  I won’t … just keep your eyes on them.


The truck maneuvers through the streets of downtown Los Angeles until it turns into a U-STORE-IT on Pico near La Brea.  They pull up to a doublewide storage unit.  The shorter man jumps out of the truck, opens the door and enters.  Moments later he drives out in a Cadillac and waits out of the way.  The truck drives in.  David shoots a second roll. 


Howie and the taller man exit and close the doors.  They double lock it, jump into the Cadillac and drive away.  Maddie and David again give pursuit with the camera clicking away with a fresh roll of film.  About a mile later, the Cadillac pulls into a small business park.  They park, get out and enter one of the offices.  Maddie pulls up out of the way.  David jumps out and sneaks up, looks in the window to see the three men.  He comes around to the door.  The 8” x 11” paper sign on the door reads:


Sierra Madre Solutions

The Hidden Treasure of the Electronic Information Age


David’s face sinks.  He disgustedly shakes his head.  A homeless man walks up to David.


Man:  Can you help a fellow American who is down on his luck?


David flips him a dollar and walks away.


— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —



Act III – Friday (Late Morning)


Scene 1 – Richie’s Bedroom, Just Past the Crack of Dawn


We close in on a very nice condominium in Brentwood, California:  up the lushly landscaped sidewalk, into the ornate foyer, up the Mexican tiled staircase, through the hall covered with fine Southwestern art, into the master suite.  Clothes are strewn all over the floor and the bed looks as if it has not been made or the sheets changed in more than a month.  Richard Addison is stretched out on his back with arms and legs spread eagle.  Thank the gods that he is still wearing his boxers.  He is snoring up a storm.  Next to the bed is a glass of water.  David Addison reaches over and picks up the glass.  He looks at it for a moment, then tosses it in Richie’s face.  Richard jumps about three feet.


Richie:  HEY!


David:  Get up, you LOSER!!!


Richie:  What’s the big idea?


David:  You’re the one with the big ideas … the man with the plans … one get rich quick scheme short of a life behind bars … did you think you weren’t going to get caught?


Richie:  What the hell are you talking about?


David:  I can’t believe that you sold HOT computers to Blue Moon.


Richie:  Huh?


David:  I am not surprised … you would probably sell me if you could get away with it.


Richie:  Sell you?  I couldn’t give you away with money in your pockets.


David:  I am not surprised you married a lawyer … cheaper than keeping one on retainer.


Richie:  A lawyer?  What does Amy have to do with this?


David:  You are going to be needing her services soon.


Richie:  Would you speak in English?


David:  You have been a loser since the day you were born. 


Richie:  (getting up) Love you too.


David:  What did you actually think was going to happen?


Richie:  Well, I’ll tell you Dave, it is like this … I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT?


David:  (shoves him) You do too.


Richie:  (shoves back) Do not.


David:  (shove) Yes.


Richie:  (shove) No.


David:  (shove) YES!


Richie:  (shove hard) NO!


They fall on the bed and start fighting like brothers: no blows are landing, no marks are left.  Wrestling to gain control.  Richie is on top.  Now David.  Richie again … then finally David pins him to the bed.


David:  Say “Uncle Vince”


Richie:  Aunt Martha.


David:  Say “Uncle Vince”


Richie:  Cousin Mae.


David:  SAY “Uncle Vince”!


Maddie walks in and is annoyed at what she sees.


Maddie:  Why don’t you just get off of him?


Richie:  I can handle him, Maddie.


Richie pulls a fast flip and David is now pinned to the bed.


David:  Got some new moves, bro?


Richie:  Say “UNCLE VINCE.”


David struggles a bit, flips and turns.  Richie still has control until this one spectacular move; then Richie is thrown off the bed and lands on the floor.  He is shocked and amazed.  He looks at Maddie.


Maddie:  I taught him that one.


Richie:  Pretty good.


David is about to leap on him again. 


Richie:  (quietly) Uncle Vince.


David stops.


David:  Loser.


Richie:  What is this all about Maddie?


Maddie:  How much do you know about your employers?


She tosses four packages of photos (freshly developed at One Hour Foto) at him.  Richie pulls out the pictures.  At first he is confused, but quickly he realizes what the pictures are of.


Richie:  I guess that means I won’t get a bonus, huh?


David:  It is a good thing your lawyer is coming back today.


Richie:  Amy … oh sh--


David:  Bigger problem than that, Rich.  Andropov off wants to prosecute to the fullest extent of the law.


Richie:  What?  How does he know I am involved?


Maddie:  The computers you sold us.


David:  This might be the first case of capital punishment for high tech theft in the history –


Richie:  You got to do something.


Maddie:  We’ve got an idea, but we’ll need your help.


Freeze on Richie’s panicked face.



Scene 2 – Sierra Madre Solutions, 9 AM


Fred Dobbs, Bob Curtin and Howie are cleaning out the offices of anything that could link it to them.


Bob:  So we are just going to blow off the last sales that Dick made for us.


Fred:  Getting a little to hot to handle, son.  We’ll sell them on the corner or take them to Tampico with us.


Bob:  For one fifth –


Fred:  Better one fifth than five to ten.


Howie:  This is your fault Dobbs.


Fred:  Don’t start that again.


Bob:  We’re just gonna leave, and let Addison hold the bag on this one?


Fred: That was the plan all along.


Through the glass they see Richard walk in followed by David and Maddie.  They are acting as if nothing is unusual.  Richie is showing them around like a proud brother.  Howie sees them and ducks back behind the file cabinet.


Howie:  Those are the detectives that Andropov hired.


Fred:  I’ll handle this.



Cut to Outer Office


Richie:  So this is the headquarters, where it all happens.


Maddie:  Really … I was thinking something a little more … a little less …


David: Like a warehouse?


Richie:  It is all about service.  Got to give great service and people will come back for more.


David:  We know all about servicing, don’t we Maddie.


Maddie:  And coming back for more.


Fred Dobbs and Bob Curtin come out of the main room.


Richie:  I want you to meet my bosses.  Maddie Hayes, David Addison this is Fred Dobbs and Bob Curtin.  David is my brother Mr. Dobbs.


David extends his hand; which is not taken.


Fred:  Your brother?


David:  We are so proud of Rich.  I hear he is just doing a bang up job here. 


Fred:  Yes, yes he is.  A great find.  The true treasure of Sierra Madre.


David:  (laughs a little too hard)  Oh … right … that’s funny … Treasure of Sierra Madre … Fred Dobbs … Bob Curtin … I get it … (imitating Bogart) … Can you help a fellow American who is down on his luck?


Bob:  That is pretty good.  (looking to Maddie)  Are you THE Maddie Hayes … the Blue Moon Shampoo girl?


Maddie:  Yes, but that was a very long time ago.


Bob:  May I say that you are more beautiful today –


David:  (wraps his arm around Maddie) I keep telling her that.


Maddie:  So, we are very excited.  Richie sold us some of your computers.  They are being set up right now.  We can finally join the information age.


Fred:  Great.


Maddie:  Yes, in fact maybe you can help us.  Our office manager ran into a little snag last night when installing some of the software … is that what you call it?  Software?


David:  I think it is software? 


Richie:  Not sure … these guys are the experts they can help you with anything … they are geniuses.


Maddie:  (looking out the door) Agnes should be here any moment.


Fred:  We are on our way to a meeting right now, but if you leave the information with Dickie we will be happy to come to your office and take care of the problem.


David:  Dickie said that you would be very helpful.


Agnes walks in with a man dressed in overalls and a hat.  He is carrying a PC.  Richie quickly goes over and clears a place out for them to set up the computer.


Richie:  Here … use this monitor.


Agnes:  I brought it here cause I think you ought to see this.  I have never seen anything like it before.


Fred Dobbs and Bob Curtain are looking very nervous as the overalled man and Agnes set up the computer.


Fred:  I am sorry, we really don’t have time right now for this.


David: (Blocking his way out the door) It won’t take a minute and someone with your expertise will have this little problem fixed in no time.


The computer boots.  David sees Howie in the office trying to stay hidden but wanting to know what is going on.  He motions to Maddie.  She follows his gaze and sees Howie too.


Agnes:  Yep, this is exactly what I got last night.


Agnes turns the monitor toward Bob and Fred.




Fred Dobbs makes a quick move to the door, which is blocked by Richie.  There is a struggle and Richie pins him down using that move that David showed him earlier.  Bob Curtin just sits down.  There is a commotion coming from the office and Bert walks in the back door leading Howie by the arm.  The overalled man takes his hat off to reveal that it is Yannis Andropov.


Yannis:  You are all busted … and they are going to throw away the key.


The police wail up with their sirens blaring and within seconds the office is full of cops and detectives.   Petra comes running in and wraps her arms around Yannis.  He peels them off and hands her over to the cops.


Yannis:  This one too.


Petra is lead from the room, denying everything and coming on to all the cops.  The cops are collecting evidence and reading people their rights and one detective is interviewing Richard. 


ENTER Amy Roberts


Amy:  What the hell is going on here?


Richie:  Hi, honey.  You’re home (checks his watch) early!


Amy: Surprise.  What is going on Richard?


Richie:  Well … um … er … um … Maddie?  You want to tell her … about the PLAN?


Freeze on Amy glaring at Maddie.



Scene 3 – Maddie’s Office, Afternoon


Maddie is looking out the window.  There is a quick knock on the door and Agnes pokes her head in.


Agnes:  Miss Hayes, do you know when Mr. Addison and Mr. Addison’s brother will be back?


Maddie:  I suspect when the police are through with them … five to ten years … but with good behavior –


Agnes:  Good behavior?


Maddie: (turns to Agnes) They should be here in 30 minutes.  Good work with Mr. Andropov Agnes.


Agnes:  Thank you … I had to think fast.


Maddie:  Well convincing him that Richie was working for us, and us buying the stolen computers on purpose was well done.


Agnes:  That was your idea Miss Hayes, I just told him that we did it on purpose.


Maddie:  Not sure I can claim 100% of that little scheme either, but it was a good team effort.


Agnes:  Ms. Roberts is out here.


Maddie:  Good place for her.


Agnes comes in and closes the door.


Agnes:  Miss Hayes, do you know what she gave us?


Maddie:  Who to whom? 


Agnes:  Well I guess it is from Ms. Roberts and Mr. Addison’s brother … but they gave Bert and me … a trip … to her bungalow on some island in the Caribbean.  Plane tickets, food and everything.  We can go whenever we want and stay as long as we want.  It won’t cost us a cent.


Maddie:  (softly) A guilt present if I ever heard of one.


Agnes:  Excuse me?


Maddie:  That is very nice of her.  (looking back at Agnes)  When are you ---


Agnes:  Don’t worry Miss Hayes, it is open ended… maybe we will go next year … second honeymoon. 


There is another knock on the door and Amy pokes her head in.


Amy:  Maddie … may I have a moment?


Maddie nods and Agnes leaves.  Maddie sits behind her desk and steels her spine.  She nods to one of the chairs in front of her desk for Amy to take.  Amy sits.


Amy:  I want to thank you for helping Richard out of that … situation.


Maddie:  He’s family and … trusting disloyal people should not be punished … even for love.


Amy:  True … oh that was a shot at me … right, no good deed should go unpunished, eh?


There is a stiff uncomfortable silence as Amy tries to find the right words.  Maddie is more anxious and speaks first.


Maddie:  That was a very nice gesture … the gift you gave Agnes and Bert.


Amy:  Not really … I felt very badly about what I said to her in New York.  I guess it was a guilt present.  In fact I would like to offer the same to you and David.


Maddie:  I beg your pardon?


Amy:  The bungalow is mine.  It is the only thing that I bought and paid for with my own money.  I won’t be using it much and don’t want to see it go to waste.


Maddie:  (snidely) Very magnanimous.


Amy:  Look, Maddie.  You and I got off on the wrong foot … feet.  I suppose we will never be friends, but we are in each other’s lives, so we should try to make the best of it.


Maddie:  For how long?


Amy:  For how long what?


Maddie:  How long will we be in each other’s lives?


Amy:  I guess that depends on you and David.  Richie and I are planning to stay together … and if we work at it … for fifty years or more.


Maddie:  I am a little confused.  You said in New York ---


Amy:  I have said a lot of things … a lot of things I didn’t mean.  I am sure you can understand that … character flaw.


Maddie:  Yes … yes I can.


Amy:  I have also said a few I did mean … like my wedding vows.


Maddie waits.


Amy:  I heard you Maddie …  and I am loathe to admit it … but you are right … Richard Addison is the only genuine thing I have in my life and I will not let him go … not for money, power, prestige … and not for my mother.


Maddie:  Your mother?


A quick knock on the door and Agnes pokes her head in.


Agnes:  They are back.


Amy gets up to leave.  Maddie stops her by clearing her throat.


Maddie:  I am happy … for Richie’s sake that you two are staying together … and I hope you’ll make it work this time.


Amy:  Thank you, I do too.


Maddie:  One more thing.


Amy turns and waits by the door.


Maddie:  I heard you too.


There is a moment when the two women understand each other.  Amy nods quickly and leaves.


— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —





David’s office – Monday Afternoon


David is playing Free Cell on the computer with the TV on and the music up.  Richard Addison walks in.


Richie:  You are going to single handedly cause a power shortage in Los Angeles, little brother.


David:  I am never going to shuffle cards again … this is great.


Richie:  I knew you would find a use for that.


David:  So what’s up? Need a place to stay? A job?


Richie:  Yannis offered me a job.


David:  Think you can do it honestly?


Richie:  Honestly?  I turned him down.


David:  Living off the ol’ ball and chain, eh?


Richie:  Brace yourself … Amy and I are moving to Eugene.


David:  Eugene what?


Richie:  Eugene, Oregon.


David:  Oregon … it rains in Oregon.


Richie:  I heard that.


David:  Like 360 days a year.


Richie:  Only 280.


David:  What’s in Eugene, Oregon?


Richie:  Ames took a job as lead council for Women’s Space.


David:  Women’s what?


Richie:  It is an organization that helps battered women get back on their feet.  She will be the chief advocate and legal advisor.  Working on getting legislation passed … all that stuff.


David:  Battered women?  Are you not telling me something?


Richie:  It is a good cause Dave.


David:  The best.  Why her?  Why Eugene?


Richie:  We want to start our family … Los Angeles is no place to raise a kid.


David:  A family?


Richie:  Not getting any younger Dave. 


David:  Two weeks ago you were ready to file for divorce, now you’re knitting baby booties?


Richie:  Things change fast around here; gotta keep up.


David:  She’s giving up her career?


Richie:  It’s done gave up.


David:  What?


Richie:  She quit … took the payoff on the last case … and what a chunk of change that is … turned down the partnership and a corner office.


David:  To move to Eugene with you?


Richie:  Yep … ain’t life great?


David:  This is priceless.


Richie:  What?


David:  This is just another scheme … another PIE IN THE SKY plan to beat the system.


Richie:  What?  What system?


David:  Come on Rich, what’s the angle?  You don’t do anything without an angle.


Richie:  No angle Dave.  Just following my wife to a better life.


David:  What the hell are you going to do in Eugene?


Richie:  I don’t know … something … same as here … they got electricity and hot and cold running water you know … it’s almost civilized, from what I hear.


David:  You actually sound sure of yourself. 


Richie:  I am.


David:  (shaking his head in disbelief) More power to you.


Richie:  Thanks.


David:  It’s not gonna be easy.


Richie:  Heard that … but Ames is worth it.


David:  It is not Amy that I am thinking about.


Maddie knocks and comes in.


Maddie:  Richie … Amy just called from the lobby … something about a meeting with the real estate agent?


Richie:  Oh yeah … gotta go … we are leaving at the end of next week … I’ll see you before then … tonight? … The Paradise? … Bring your cash … no personal checks.


David nods and Richie runs out.


Maddie:  What was that all about?


David:  Amy gave up the partnership and she and Richie are moving to Eugene, Oregon.


Maddie:  OREGON?  It rains in Oregon … a lot.


David:  I said that.  She is going to work for some women’s shelter … who knows … sounds like there will be long hours and no money involved.


Maddie:  Guess she is looking for a simpler life.


David:  She picked my brother … it doesn’t get any simpler.


Maddie:  You are going to miss him.


David:  Bailing him out of jail.


Maddie:  Taking his money at pool.


David:  Kicking him out of our guest room.


Maddie:  Wrestling over some stupid thing.


David:  Yeah … well … guess that means I am free for wrestling with you.


Maddie:  Do I have to let you win?


David:  Haven’t lost yet.  (Kisses her and she does not respond.) 


Maddie:  There is a client waiting in my office.


He stops.


David:  A Client?  Didn’t we just have one? 


Maddie:  Keeps the lights on.


David:  What about tonight?  Dinner?  Movie?  Maybe a bad video and order in pizza?


Maddie: You just made plans with Richie.


David:  I did?


Maddie:  You did … and since he is moving away ….


David:  Yeah … yeah … I won’t have him to kick around too much longer.  Ok … So, guess that means you and Amy …


Maddie: … Are on our own tonight.


David:  Still not made up?


Maddie:  We made up fine … but we won’t be braiding each other’s hair any time soon.


David gets a far a way look in his eyes with a very odd grin.


Maddie:  David?


David:  Trying to savor the image.


Maddie:  Swine.


David wraps his arms around her.  They kiss lightly at first and then it gets a little more intense until finally David pulls away.


David:  What say we blow Richie and the client off and we go home and … stir-fry some sweet and sour pork? (He kisses her neck.)


Maddie:  What say we don’t … we talk to this client and you get home at a reasonable hour? 


David:  OR … you could go with us?  You know how to handle a stick … (He unbuttons her top button.) 


Maddie:  I could go home … (She rebuttons the button.) … prepare?  A little wine?  Fire?  Something soft … silky … skimpy … and …


David:  RED?  The RED ONE?  Oh baby … you are making it hard for me to do the right thing.  (She kisses his neck again.)  One game … two max … I’ll be home by 9:30.


Maddie:  Make it 9.


David:  Yowza … love it when you go HONEY WEST on me.


Maddie:  The client?


David:  Lead on MacMadolyn.


He wraps his arm around her and leads her out.


Maddie:  So … Eugene, Oregon, huh? 


David:  Yep … where can I get an umbrella in Los Angeles?


Maddie:  In L.A.?  I don’t know.  I don’t think I have ever seen one. 


David:  It never rains in Southern California.


— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —


Thanks to the readers for reading and a BIG thank you to the readers who comment.  I appreciate you both, but sadly can only point to the ones I know about.  To my fellow staff writers, you two are the best.  Diane, however, my constant source of challenging commentary, tireless beta/editor and my biggest fan … to you I say … “Baby, you’re the greatest.”  It wouldn’t be fun without you.  Thanks for everything.