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Act I

Scene:  Evening, The Hayes-Addison Bedroom


Tight shot on David’s astonished face.  Camera swings back to Maddie who looks at him carefully, trying to gauge a response.


Camera swings back to David, whose astonished look has been replaced by an inquisitive one.  He looks around the room strangely, without making a sound.  Maddie finally breaks the silence.


Maddie:  David, did you hear me?  I said I’m…….


David continues to look around the room.


David:  Yeah, I heard ya.


Maddie:  And……..?  What are you looking for?


David:  I’m waiting for Bobby Ewing to come out of the shower.


Maddie smiles a half smile.


Maddie:  It’s not a dream, David.  I’m……we’re…. going to have a baby.


David:  Are you sure?


Maddie shakes her head and rolls her eyes heavenward.


Maddie:  The man never ceases to amaze me.  This is not exactly the reaction I was expecting.


David’s face breaks into an enormous grin.  He crosses the room in lightening speed, sits on the bed, and takes Maddie into his arms.  He looks into her eyes.


David:  A baby?…….whoa!


Maddie:  Yeah, whoa!


David:  Best whoa I’ve had all day.  C’mere.


They kiss sweetly, then just sit, holding each other.


David:  You don’t look any different.


Maddie:  Like how?  I’m not that far along.


David:  Aren’t you supposed to be glowing?


Maddie:  I think the glowing comes after the throwing up.


David:  I’m still very confused.


Maddie:  About?


David:  Where, when?


Maddie: (mocking)  If you ask how, I’m gonna lose all respect for you, Mr. Addison.


David:  I hate it when my good lines come back to haunt me.


Maddie:  If there’s one person in the world who I figured wouldn’t need sex education, I thought it would be you.


David:  Hey Hayes, I got us here, now didn’t I?  Now spill……


Maddie:  In answer to your questions…as close as I can figure….the where and when are San Diego, roughly eight weeks ago at the Hotel Del Coronado when we……


David grabs the two stuffed animals from her lap.


David:  Made love like rabbits all weekend long.


Maddie:  David!  How very romantic of you! 


David:  Hell, maybe we’ll have to name the little nipper Bunny.


Maddie:  Bunny Hayes…destined to bump and grind.


David:  Excuse me…….Bunny Addison.


Eyes flash, and they regard each other for a moment.


Maddie:  Bunny Hayes Addison.


David:  Hyphenated.


Maddie:  No hyphen.


David:  I love it when we agree.


Maddie:  Anyway, it’s way too early to be having that discussion. Names and all that, I mean.


David:  Then, let’s go back to my “ how” discussion….I came in here telling you that we could probably never get pregnant.  I read a report tonight……


Maddie:  Guess it was wrong.  Big deal.


David:  Maybe not to you.  But that kind of news strikes fear into the hearts of men.


Maddie:  Addison, it was a plot point. 


David:  Plot point?  They wouldn’t………


Maddie:  They would and did……do you know how tough the competition is during season finale week?  They needed something to keep the viewers in their computer chairs. You didn’t want the readers switching to Virtual Northern Exposure, did you?


David is annoyed.


David:  Man, that is not one bit funny.  How would they like it if somebody did that to them? So I’m not……..?


Maddie:  Not according to the results of my pregnancy test.  But then again, all you need is one.


David puffs out his chest.


David:  That’s right…the perfect swimmer.  The Mark Spitz of sperm.  Wow.


Maddie takes a deep breath.


Maddie:  Yeah, wow.  Somehow, I didn’t think it would happen this fast.


David gives her a concerned look.


David:  But you’re happy, right?


Maddie:  But I’m happy, right!  But there is so much to think about…to worry about…we need to meet with Doctor Weed…there are probably a lot of things we need to be doing, tests we’ll have to take……


David:  Tomorrow.


Maddie:  Tomorrow?


David:  Tomorrow is for worrying and planning…tonight is for being happy and celebrating…in fact, I can think of a perfect way to celebrate.


He pushes her back against the bed and begins to nuzzle her neck.


Maddie:  David… I think maybe…maybe we’d better not do that kind of celebrating.


David sits up and looks at her curiously.


David:  Why not?  Did Dr. Weed say something to you?  Should we call her…?


Maddie laughs.


Maddie:  No, I don’t think we should call her.  But I’d feel more comfortable waiting until we speak to her about the dos and don’ts.


David:  Well, do make that appointment tomorrow, will ya?


Maddie: Already been done -- 2:15.


David: That's my girl...little Miss Efficiency.


He lays back down and pulls Maddie back into his arms.  He rests his hand on her stomach and starts to sing into her ear……


David:  “Having my baby…what a lovely way of saying how much you love me….”


Maddie shrieks


Maddie:  Do not sing that song!  I hate that song!


David:  So is this where I need to sign up for Hormones 101?  Get the ticket for my ride on the old pregnancy roller coaster.


Maddie now sits up.


Maddie:  Hey pal, I’m gonna tell you right now.  We are not using this pregnancy to rehash all the old jokes and clichés.  I can’t tell you how much I hate that.


David:  Hey, hey, hey Blondie, I didn’t mean to do that.


Maddie:  Well, don’t.  We are going to have a lot to deal with during this pregnancy, and I am not going to be defending myself against a lot of idiotic jokes and stereotypes.


David:  OK, OK, I get it…can I get a dispensation on the weight jokes in a few months?


Maddie jabs him in the side.


David:  I’m kidding. I’m kidding.


Maddie buries her face in his neck and sighs.


Maddie:  We’re really going to do this, David.


David:  Yepper.  Speaking of doing it…


Maddie:  We’ve already had that discussion.


David:  Not doing that…doing …well, something else…


Maddie:  Gonna let me in on it?


David struggles on, talking around his topic.


David:  Well, talking about Bunny Hayes Addison…


Maddie:  I really hate that name.


David:  Would you let me talk?  I was thinking…since I’m the guy who’s gonna be listed on the “father” line…and since I always thought when I had a child I’d be…well, I thought maybe we should talk about getting……