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Ladies Who Lunch

Act I

Scene 1 - Seedy Apartment in West Hollywood - Friday Morning

Fade in on a clock…

6:53 AM - a cheap old digital flip clock.  The room is dark with shocks of bright sunlight forcing their way in through the slats in the blinds.  Loud voices erupt from beyond the paper-thin walls.  

6:54 AM - There is a loud crash and a scream, more raised voices from different directions and pounding on a door and walls.  

6:55 AM - A thin person pulls up into a sitting position on the bed, slowly rises and crosses to the bathroom.  In the shadow we cannot determine if the person is male or female.  The bathroom light flips on and lights up the floor by the bed.  It is covered with women's flashy clothes (several pair of six-inch spike heels, spangled mini-skirts, tank tops, etc).   The morning routine reveals that the person is a woman.  Leaving the light on, she trudges back and slips under the covers.

6:58 AM - Next to the clock is a picture in a frame of a man and a four or five-year-old boy taken at a park on a swing.  The man in the picture has light hair and very fine features.  He appears to be very tall, but that could be only in comparison to the smallness of the boy.  The child is clearly related to the man.  They are laughing.  

6:59 AM - Next to the picture is a full ashtray and two brands of cigarette packages and several matchbooks from THE PINK TRIANGLE.   A pink princess trim-line phone and Radio Shack answering machine are buried under a pile of gaudy costume jewelry.  Between the strands of beads and tons of bangles are either 3, 13 or 23 messages that have yet to be picked up.  

7:00AM - the radio clicks on.  

Good Morning, Los Angeles … another beautiful day in the south land … Only one more work day `til the weekend --- And what a weekend it is going to be …

The woman's hand, with its brightly painted finger nails, quickly reaches out from under the covers to hit the snooze and just as quickly slips back under the covers.  There is another loud altercation in the room next door.  The disturbance beyond the walls is becoming more heated and footsteps can be heard running up and down the hall.  Sirens are in the distance.  

7:01 AM - The phone rings loudly … once … twice … three times … then the machine picks up.

"Hey your nickel … spend it wisely … at the beep."  BEEEEEEEEEEP

"Chris?  … It's your mother. … I know you're home.  … Pick up the damn phone. … What are you gonna do, huh?  … This is not gonna just go away, you know? … This is not something you can just CUT OUT. ... Do you want me to tell them where you are? … Well?  … I will you know. … I'll tell them the whole sorry mess. … Don't think I won't. … How would that fit into your NEW LIFE? …. Don't test me. … Damn it Chris … I don't deserve this.  … Fine … I'm through. … This is your crap and I'm going to let you float in it. … … … … Chris?  … Fine … Call me."  Hang up.

A voice comes from the far side of the bed, "You gonna talk to her?"

"I am going down for lunch tomorrow."

Pause … "Is there any coffee in the house?"  

A mumbled "Mm-mm" is the response.

The familiar hand reaches over and turns the picture to get a better look at it.  The forefinger gently touches the young child's face.  The picture is flipped face down on the end table and the person moves away from the bed.

"Strong and HOT! " calls the voice from the bed.  

"Just like my man."

Freeze on clock … 7:04 AM

à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à

Scene 2 - Hayes/Addison Bedroom - Same Morning

Close in on clock. 8:38 AM

"Strong and HOT!"   Maddie's voice is raised to call down the stairs.

"Just like your man?"   David quips back up.

We pull back to see the whole room.  The sheets are in disarray and there is a pile of clothes and towels in the middle of the floor.  Maddie is in her robe, putting on the last of her make up.  She rises from the vanity.  An intense cramp causes her to sit down again.  Maddie takes slow, deep breaths.  She catches her eye in the mirror and shakes her head.

"Every 28 days … just like clockwork."  She looks at the calendar on the table.  "Well … give or take a day or seven."

She pulls a bottle of ADVIL from her vanity drawer and takes two - no three pills.  David calls up from down stairs.

"Hey Mad-day!! The guy from cleaners is here.  Just this bag by the door?"

"Yeah ... just the bag."

The door down stairs closes and moments later David enters the bedroom.  "Told him to have it back by Tuesday."


He puts the cup on her vanity after taking a long sip.  "Hey … Blondie … you OK?"

"What?  Why?"  She asks looking a little put out.

He picks up several books from the nightstand.  "Cookbooks? You're not thinking about --."

"Richie and Amy."  

"…About cooking Richie --- Mmmmm, why didn't I think of that?"

"Dinner? Tomorrow?"  

"Oh, yeah … well here's the thing … Richie cancelled."

"Cancelled?"  She snaps.

"Yeah --- didn't know you were planning on cooking."

"When were you planning on telling me?"

"I don't know."

She inhales deeply as if she is getting ready to lay into him about being inconsiderate, thoughtless and rude, but changes her mind and exhales slowly.  She says sternly.  "So why did they cancel?"  

"Richie has a new job … POOL MAN."

"POOL MAN???? They let him use chemicals?"

"Not that kind of pool.  He goes around to bars making sure that pool tables are level?"

"Is that a REAL job?"

"He's in his `entrepreneurial' phase again."

"What does Amy think about that?"

"Who knows … probably blinded by the Addison Charm."

"You call that transparent attempt at luring women into - "

"Blinded you - didn't it?"

"Had my eyes opened the first time you ---."

Another wave of pain takes Maddie by surprise.  She clenches her teeth.  He turns to look at her and spies the bottle of Advil.  It's that time again … that FEMALE time … that time to keep his head down.  He tries to acknowledge it without actually acknowledging it.  

He moves over behind her and rubs her shoulders.  "Moving pretty slowly this morning, eh gorgeous?"

She shrugs her shoulders.  She doesn't want to be touched.  He steps back but does not move away.  "Yeah."  She looks up at his reflection.  Damn, he is handsome … but does he really need to be so bloody cheerful in the morning?  "Was up a little late last night."  She says by way of apology with a strained smile.

"Need to make sure you get to bed at a reasonable hour tonight."

"It is not the `bed time' that's the issue."

"Don't I know it," he yawns.

The doorbell rings and David leaves to answer it.  She looks back into the mirror and can't help but notice that she looks wan - pale - almost ghost like.  Maybe it is the light …or the robe … that robe has always washed her out.  Maybe it's nothing … maybe it's just … too much work … or not enough vitamins … or too much … it's probably nothing.  David is back quickly.

"Carmen is here … two days a week was an inspired idea, if I do say so myself."

"Yeah … anything to get you out of doing laundry."

"I apologized for that - never should have asked me after that sock incident last spring."  

He is standing behind her and checking himself out in the mirror, fixing his tie and smoothing his hair.  He wraps his arms around her and rubs his clean-shaven cheek against hers.

"Hey … you look great … and you smell great … What say we call in sick and go to the beach?"

Maddie shakes her head … he has more play in him than an eleven-week old kitten.   

"Can't … that little article in the paper last May has tripled business and TRIPLED the paperwork."

"Tripled you say?   Well?"


"Go ahead … say it …go on … say it."

"Say what?"  

"You know …  I want to hear the words … I NEED to hear the words from your sweet lips."

"What are you getting at?"  She's a little annoyed with the game.

"Business has tripled?  Hmmmm??  Could there be a REASON for that MS Hayes?"

Maddie relents, rolls her eyes and mumbles, "Fine … You were right."

"Excuse me … didn't quite hear that?"

"Alright… Alright …" She turns to look at him.  "You were right."

"I'm always right."  He kisses her quickly on the check and lets her go.  He crosses the room to his dresser to finish getting ready (watch, change, wallet, keys, blah, blah, blah).

"Glad to see that you don't let it go to your head."  She adds quickly.  "Of course is could be the FRONT PAGE coverage of CLAIRE the LOON trying to kill you that is bringing in all these clients."

"Could be - just can't pay for advertising like that."

"So …"

"Soooo.  What?"

"Sooooo …. No Richie … No Amy … No entertaining … A Saturday night … just the two of us?"




"You taking me out?  Dinner?  Dancing?  Maybe a movie?"

"A date?  You want me to take you on a DATE?"

"Yeah … I want you to take me on a date."

David looks a little confused.  "Don't remember if I know how to DATE."

"They say it is like falling off a bicycle."  She smiles at him.  

"Did we ever have a `successful' date?"

Thinking for a moment … "We must have."  Decides to change the subject.  "Are you taking the car today?"

"Bert's driving ... but since you brought it up."

"Here we go."  She groans rolling her eyes.

"What?  I just think that we should seriously think about a second car… for the company."

"We can seriously THINK about it and …"

In unison … "NOT GET IT."

"Little Miss Bottom line.  You said business has tripled."

"So have the expenses and the salaries.  Can't pay them EXTRA wages if they've got SPEAKING PARTS."

"You talking about Bert and the boys?"

"Agnes, Jamie, Inez and Kris are doing more than making coffee in the morning, Mr. Sexist."


"Not only are you a sexist...but you are the sexiest sexist it has ever been my good fortune to -."

"Hey ... that's my line."

She grins.  "Look, I'll make you a deal … you land a BIG CASE with a BIG FEE and you can trade in the BMW and find us TWO company cars - within a budget."

"You got a deal … hey wait … what's a BIG FEE? And what's the budget?"

She smiles at him knowing that she still holds the upper hand at least financially.  "Is Bert picking you up here?"

"The little fuzzy hobbit should be here any minute.  Wish you were going with me instead."

"You're really loving this 24/7 stuff aren't you?"

"No … I mean … Yes dear, I am loving 24/7. …  But Bert never shuts up.  Ya-da-da, Ya-da-da, Ya-da-da … can't get a word in edgewise … can't hear myself think."  

She smiles at him in the mirror.  It is amazing how often he gift wraps lines like that for her since they have been living together.  He leaves himself open and it doesn't occur to him that she might … jab, stick or poke him.  An unspoken truce has been called in the ever-present "Battle of Wits" - at least over petty stuff like that.  

"When will you be back?'

"Not before lunch time."

"Lunch time?  That is pretty open."

"What is on your agenda for the day?"

"Paperwork, bills, payroll …"

"Jeez sounds really dry … a trip to Torrance could be a welcome distraction.   Sure you don't want to go?"

"As much of a cosmopolitan Mecca as Torrance is, I am going to take a pass.  You two boys go and have fun.  Don't forget Miles Archer will be at the office at 1:30 so be sure to make it back before then."

"Miles Archer JUNIOR … Can't forget the Junior … what kind of name is that for a detective.  Sounds like a B movie character played by Walter Long."


"Don't you think it's weird?"

"His name?"

"Have we ever taken a case without meeting the clients?"

"It's professional courtesy.  Archer doesn't have a license in California."

"Suppose it's pretty good money for running down a couple of leads that we did not even need to find - good enough for maybe a new JAG?  Corvette? Mustang?"

A horn honks from outside.

"Saved by the horn."  Maddie says.

"I hear the horn in a Porsche is like music."  

"Don't keep Mr. Viola waiting."

He kisses her cheek in astandard Ward Cleaver fashion.  "Have a nice day, dear."  He starts to leave the room.

"Hey … Ward ..."  She rises and crosses to meet him.  He turns back to look at her and she plants a kiss on him that nearly knocks him over.

"Whoa … June … with the Beaver in the car?"

"Last night was sensational."  She grins and kisses him again.

"Do my best work at night … but there were a couple of days that were -- "

"Only a couple?"

"Ya know I expected that you would NIX the SENSATIONAL part on school nights."

"I'm not a school girl, Addison."  

"Guess that means the plaid pleats and knee socks are out?"

"Out."  She confirms.

Horn beeps again … longer and louder.  

"Need to have a little talk with my boy Viola about the virtue of patience … maybe we should send him alone and you and I can -"

"GO!!!"   She starts pushing him out door.  "Go  … I'll see you for lunch."

David gives her a quick kiss on the lips and darts off down the stairs.  As soon as she hears the door close, Maddie curls back up on the bed.  She is exhausted.  That man is taking it out of her, but what is a little sleep loss compared to the in-house benefits?  She smiles and pulls his pillow to her face.

à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à

Scene 3 - Bert's Car - Moments Later

David jumps into the car and immediately reclines the seat and leans his head back and closes his eyes.

"Head `em out Bertie boy … Torrance or BUST."

"Yes sir."

Bert starts the car and pulls out of the driveway.

"Watch the potholes and wake me we when are on the way back."

"Have a bad night, Mr. Addison?"

"Had a great night Bert … have had great nights for the past 3 months … but I think I am averaging 5 hours of sleep."

"Oh yeah."  Bert tries to be one-of-the-guys.  "I know exactly what you mean, sir.  Agnes is … lets just say she is a night person."

David realizes that he has given too much information away and has gotten more than he needs.  He needs to recover.  Interesting that now that he and Maddie are living together, he wants to protect their PRIVATE life rather then hold it up for public consumption.

"Yeah - she keeps me up all night … not that I am complaining, mind you … how is a guy to refuse with all that pleading and begging."

"Pleading?  Begging, sir?"  Bert's expression changes.  He really doesn't want to know the gory details.  He still has to work with Ms. Hayes.

"Maddie tells me that it is my fault."

"Fault, sir?"

"Says that I have created a monster."

"A monster?"

"I should just say NO … but I can't do that.  I guess I am a sucker for those blonde locks and cute tail."


"But every night … all night … in and out … and … out and in ---"


"What?"  David looks back at him.  

"Too much information."

"Get your mind out of the gutter Viola … I was talking about the dog."

"Oh, the dog."

"Just drive the car Bert."

David leans back over to the window, hiding his smile and closes his eyes.

  à à à  Commercial  à  à  à

Act II

Scene 1 - Maddie's Office - Friday Mid-Morning

Maddie is working at her desk.  She is flipping though invoices and journal pages, adding and re-adding.

"Well David … looks like you may get your wish sooner than you think ...  Oil Changes … water pump … oil pump … hoses and belts … brakes … muffler … shocks … transmission … TRANSMISSION?  Could have gotten a new car for all that.  Should have gotten a new car - it hasn't run the same since I got back from Chicago.  Pulls to the left - I wonder if David had an accident he didn't tell me about?"

There is a quick knock on the door and Agnes pokes her head into the office.

"Excuse me Miss Hayes.  Were you talking to someone?"

"Thinking out loud Miss DiPesto."

"Is there any other way?"

"Did you need something Agnes?"

"There is a woman here to see you.  She doesn't have an appointment, but she says she knows you."

"Knows me?"

"Her name is Cecilia Stansfield."

"Cecilia Stansfield? Ceci?"  

Maddie is immediately on her feet, up from behind the desk and out the door.  Agnes watches as the two women greet each other as long lost friends.  Moments later they are back in Maddie's office, Maddie talking a mile a minute.

"So what are you doing here?  We haven't seen each other in what …???"

"Going on fifteen, sixteen years.  It was New York -- "

"-- the magazine launch party at  --"

"-- The Waldorf.  Oh, I miss the Waldorf."

"I was there - a few years back … it is the same … new chef … of course."

Cecilia Stansfield is older than Maddie by a decade plus.  She is shorter with gray hair and dressed casually but very fashionably.  She is obviously very happy to see Maddie.

"Ceci - please sit down.  Can I get you something?  Coffee?  Tea?  My God, it's good to see you.  So what brings you to Los Angeles?"

The women sit down on the couch.

"I live on this coast now and saw that article in the paper a few months back.  Just waiting for the right time to show up on your door step."

"Well I am so glad you did.  So tell me all that is going on with you."

"Let's start with you … a detective agency … Maddie?  How in the world did you wind up as a detective?"

"It was a definite career leap and totally unplanned."

"Maddie Hayes doing ANYTHING without a plan?"

Maddie laughs.  "You'd be surprised how much has changed."

"And how much has stayed the same."

"Exactly. You heard that Ron Sawyer stole my money and took off to Buenos Aires, right?'

"Yes - that snake.  I never trusted him, especially after he married little-miss-what's-her-name?"

"They split long before he did. … anyway … He left me with almost nothing except a few businesses that I had owned as a write off … I was going to sell this one too but … my partner, David Addison, convinced me not to and the rest - as they say - is history."

"I am sure there is more to it than that."

"Just a little … about 67 hours on film and another megabyte or two on disk.  But that is all ancient history.  We have turned this into a very profitable business … not over night … but we are doing very well now and I like it."

"Well whatever you are doing - it suits you.  You look great."

"How did you know I was here?  Oh yes … the article.  Why did you wait so long?"

"Well I read all about your OTHER troubles."

"Yeah … well  … The clients we get are no stranger than some of the New York fashion class we used to deal with."

"I can imagine."  

"The death threats here are only slightly more literal … but fewer and farther between."  They laugh.

"Who is this partner of yours?"

"David?  That is a lot longer story - over a glass of wine - or the whole bottle.  Can you stay to meet him?  He should be back soon."

"I would love to."

"So do you live in Los Angeles now?"

"Up in Isla Vista."

"That's just north of Santa Barbara?"

"It's about two hours from here."

"The same time zone at least?  Are you back to work or did you decide to make your retirement permanent?"

"You know me Maddie.  Can't sit still.  I run a little book store/coffee shop in Old Town with Chloe."

"Chloe?  She must be what twenty-eight - twenty-nine now?

"She's thirty - last week."

"How is she?"

"She is - I am so proud of her.  She has completely turned her life around and it … I am so proud.  Quitting that agency and leaving New York City brought us so much closer.  Can you believe it … we are best friends?"  Cecilia smiles a warm mother smile.  "She is married to an extraordinary man, Marcus.  They have three kids, two dogs, six cats and a fish."

"Oh my - that sounds like a story too.  And Stu?  Does the Papa like the son-in-law as much as you do?"

Cecilia's expression gets very thoughtful.  "Maddie - Stu died --- about seven years."

"Oh Ceci … I am so sorry."  She reaches out to hold her hand firmly.

"It was very sudden.  A heart attack.  He was out golfing and - then he was gone."

"Oh my … that's horrible."

"Yes, yes it was, but not as horrible as it could have been.  He didn't suffer.  We had a wonderful 21 years together."  She smiles.  "Well, only eighteen of them were wonderful."  She laughs nervously.  "Stu was the best man - person - I ever knew."

"He was a very special man.  I'm sorry."

"Thank you.  The first couple of years were rough, but -- as much as I love Stu, and as good as our life was together - I am really enjoying being single.  Can you believe it?"

"Single does have its advantages."

"So what about you?  I don't see a ring on your finger."

"No … no ring ... no husband … but more importantly no EX-husband.  Could have had more than two of those."

"Figured Sam Crawford would have snagged you by now."

"Oh … Ceci … that is a story for a whole other episode.  Let me just say that Sam was never going to be the right one."

"Still waiting for the `right one,' Maddie?"

Maddie smiles more at herself than the question.

"Or waiting for the `right one' to ask?"  Cecilia continues.


"I know that look, Maddie.  So tell me about this `partner' of yours."

Maddie love this woman - she is the older, wiser sister that Maddie never had.  "Over lunch … do you have time?"

"Right now? I just dropped in - I don't want you to change your whole day for me?  You must have appointments, people to see, work to do."

"Don't be silly.  Working on some mindless paperwork - detecting is not like they show on TV.  Besides you can't go until you meet David.  He should be back sometime during lunch; he'll join us.  There is so much to talk about.  Can you?  I mean do you have time?"

"Sure."  Cecilia smiles.  Clearly she has missed Maddie too.

Maddie grabs her purse and they walk arm and arm out of the office.

"We have to be back by 1:15.  We have an appointment.  Santa Barbara … I haven't been there in years."

On the way out the door Maddie instructs Agnes to have David meet them at the Four Seasons when he gets back.

à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à

Scene 2 - High School in Torrance, CA - Near Lunch Time

Bert has trouble parallel parking, mostly because he is talking non-stop.   He needs to take three or four passes at it and still winds up almost two feet from the curb.  David opens the door and takes a long stride to the sidewalk.

"Nice going, Mr. Viola."

"I'm still not used to the edges of this car."  Bert says defensively.  "I'll move it."

"Leave it … are we sure she is working today? Or is this another wild goose we are chasing?"

Bert looks guilty.  "I did call to be sure she was scheduled ---"

"Never mind, Bert."  David starts to walk away but turns back a little confused to look at the car.  "New car?  How long have you owned it?  Three?  Four years?"

"Oh no Sir.  This car is brand new, had it for about two weeks.  I traded the other one in … I get a new car every three years."  

"Every three years?  A man after my own heart."

"Yes, sir.  You know that there is no reason to keep a car longer than that.  They just start breaking down."

"So - this is a new car?"

"Yes, sir.  Drove it off the lot myself with only 5 miles on it."

"But … it is exactly the same as the other one."

"NO SIR.  This is the LXC, it's a '91 and it is Opalescent Sand … the other one was Opal White."

"But other than that it is the same car ... with the same `edges.'"

"I don't understand your meaning sir."

David shakes his head and decides not to press the point.  "Third time's the charm … who are we seeing here, Mario?"

"The mother."  Bert opens his file and reads.  "Her name is Rachel Kingston.  She is divorced … three times.  Lives alone and works part time at a nursing home and part time here."

"She a teacher?"

"No sir - she's a cook in the lunch room?"

"She is a lunch lady?  With a hair net, those plastic gloves and an apron?  Making huge trays of red Jell-o and PB&J's by the dozen? …. Thought that went out with the vending machine."

Cut to Kitchen in Cafeteria

The two walk into the kitchen and speak to a woman who gestures to another woman standing over by the soup pot.  The woman that was pointed out is about 50 - 60 years of age, carrying about 150 lbs more than would be recommended by her doctor, and she is dressed in a floral mummu.  The apron barely covers her immense chest.  

"Mrs. Kingston?"

She turns to look at them and her face turns sourer than it already was.

"You boys can just save your breath.  I have said all I am going to say to Mr. Miles Archer, Jr."

David is un-phased.  "Miles Archer, Jr.?  I don't know a Miles Archer, Jr.  Do you know a Miles Archer, Jr., Mr. Viola?"

"I don't know Miles Archer Senior."

"You see?  We never heard of him.  You must have us confused with two other guys.  My associate and I are from Food and Wine … we are here to implore you for your chicken soup recipe."


"Yes Ma'am … the students of this school have written us raving about the delicate spices and the perfect balance of chicken and noodles that you use."

"It piqued the interest of the writers and chefs on our staff."  Bert tries to help.

"Nice try boys …" She nodded to the garbage can which was full of open number 10 cans of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup."  You can tell that tramp that she can send all the lawyers and all the private DICKS she wants … there ain't nothing to talk about.  I have no idea where Chris is."

She covered the pot and walked away.

David pulls his charm smile out … the one he saves for female clients.  "Mrs. Kingston?  Rachel?  Can I call you Rachel?"

She shifts her considerable weight back and forth between her swollen feet.  She pulls down a loaf of Generic Wonder Bread and deals out enough slices for 10 sandwiches.  

"I am kind of busy Mr. ---"

"Addison.  David Addison.  This is --- ."  He turns to Bert who is about to stick his finger in a huge tray of green Jell-o that has been laced with fruit cocktail.  "Herbert Viola."  Bert drops his hand and looks up sheepishly.  

David continues.  "We have gotten off to a very bad start.  We don't know you, and you don't know us.  We are not here to cause a big to do … Can we just sit down and … maybe talk?  Just for a few minutes?  Two … minutes?  A minute and a half?"

She shrugs with great annoyance and moves into the cafeteria to sit down.   David and Rachel sit down at the first table and Bert continues to stand in the doorway to the kitchen.  Bert is eyeing the packages of Twinkies, Cup Cakes, SnoBalls, and Ding Dongs by the register.

"So … Rachel.  We're from Blue Moon Investigations."  

"And --."

"We were contacted by Miles Archer and asked to see if we could locate Christopher DeWinter … your son."

"I told you that much."

"Right - you are right.  We just want to find him, speak with him.  To tell him that Archer has something to discuss with him.  That's all."

"Like I told him.  I don't know where Chris is.  I have not seen him in two years."

"Aren't you worried about him?"



"No.  My Chris … we had a fight and it was pretty serious.  He won't be calling me - again."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Do you know anything about this Miles Archer, Jr. or why he is looking for my - Chris?"

"We know only what I just told you."

"Then you don't know squat."

"So … tell us what we need to know."

"Will it make any difference?"

"Mrs. Kingston - Rachel."  His is trying to charm her and it's working.  "We have no agenda here ...  who knows, we might be able to help."

"Fine … I guess someone should hear my side. … It started about 7 - 8 years ago.  Chris was living with his father in Oregon - Oregon, Ohio? - Just outside of Toledo?  Anyway … he was there for his junior and senior year of high school and freshman year of college.  He met this TRAMP … Linda Sparks … she threw herself at him over and over.  She was a gold-digging whore, who would bed anything that moves.  She was looking to land a man and retire with her MRS degree.  You know the type."

"Not personally."

"I do."  Bert tries to help.  "Very difficult to shake once they get their hooks into you."  

David stares at Bert until he shuts up.  "Please go on, Rachel."

"Chris wanted nothing to do with her and made that very clear.  One night - only one night -- in his freshman year of college ... they … you know… did it.  She got pregnant.  She said it was Chris's but I didn't believe it.  Well anyway, Chris's father threw him out of the house.  Sparks parents disowned her and Linda and Chris moved to California to live with me.  They didn't get married - I put my foot down on that.  We moved into a three-bedroom trailer in Irvine.  Chris got two jobs, I got a second job and Linda sat at home on her fat butt eating us out of house and home watching re-runs on Bravo all day.  We - Chris and I - paid for everything … including the doctors and hospital at 100%.  Then little Andrew was born.  He was the sweetest child in the world."

She heaves herself up to retrieve a snap shot from her pocket and lowers her self back down with a thump.  It is the same picture we saw earlier with a man and a child at a park.

"Very nice."  David hands the picture to Bert.

"I know that park … it's in West Hollywood.  There's a hot dog vendor there -" David stops Bert with a quick glance.  "Sorry."

"Anyway … Linda got depressed … They said it was postpartum depression, I think she was just PO'd that the attention was off her.  She took off with a trucker, leaving Andrew with Chris and me.  I thought GOOD RIDDANCE.  Things went along for a couple of years.  Chris and I worked our butts off for that little angel.  Then when Andrew was about four … the bitch came back.  She had made up with her family.  Dumped the trucker and married the boy-next-door and was pregnant again.  Her father is a used car salesman and is very big in Toledo.  They hired some high-powered attorney from Chicago and took Andrew away from us.  She threw some pretty nasty lies around and got sole custody."

"That doesn't seem fair."  Bert said again.

"No --- it's not.  We were the only family that child knew."  She starts to get a little weepy and her voice cracks.  "I haven't seen my baby in more than 3 years."

"I'm sorry Mrs. Kingston.  I can see that this is difficult for you."

"You have no idea."

David hands the picture back to Rachel after taking another quick look at it.

"I am still a little confused.  If Ms. Sparks and her husband have sole custody, why are they looking for your son?"

"They want him to sign over all rights so that that tramp's new husband can adopt my little Andrew."  Rachel pulls some strength from deep with in her.  "Not as long as I got breath in my body."  She drops into a coughing fit and has to get up to get some water.

à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à

Scene 3 - Four Season Dining Room - After Lunch

Maddie and Cecilia have finished their lunch and David has not joined them.

"I don't know what could be keeping him."

"Don't worry.  I'll meet him tomorrow, right?  You two will come up for an early dinner?"

"Absolutely --."

"It is about a two hour drive, and you, of course, are welcome to stay at the house."

"Sounds like you have quite a full house to begin with."

"Oh no.  We have plenty of room.  It is a very large house … well, mansion some would call it."

"A mansion?  What does Marcus do?"

"He's a writer."

"He must be very, very good."

Cecilia laughs.  "No … Well yes he is a good writer but that is not where the house came from. … Marcus's family was very wealthy."


"The money is all gone now.  His parents died when he was very young and the trust fund was completely mismanaged.  Everything except this property was lost.  But Marcus and Chloe - and I dare say I - have helped to save it and keep it for their kids.  It is all that is left."

"It's an mansion?"

"It's just over 5 acres.  It is like a whole other world.  The grounds are breathtaking - gardens, trees, streams, and the ocean is right there too."

"It sounds like a resort."

"They live in the main house and I have the gate house to myself."

"Ooo … the gate house."

"Sounds like the maid's quarters ... but it is larger than the apartment we had in New York.  It has a view of the Koy pond and the rose garden."

"Very nice."

"Close enough to see Chloe and the kids whenever I want, yet it's still my own space.  Have had to teach the kids about that … but there is plenty of room if you want to stay the night."

"I'd need to speak with David about that first.  I really am looking forward to seeing Chloe again.  She was a teenager the last time I saw her.  Can't imagine her with kids."

"She was very excited when I told her that I was going to try to see you today.  So tell me about David."


"You have told me all the facts … so tell me about the two of you."

"The two of us?"  Maddie laughs.  "He is not like Sam or any of the other men you saw me with back in New York."

"That's not a bad thing."

"No … no it's not.  You never would have put us together."

"That is not up to me - or anyone else."

"I wouldn't have put us together."  Maddie takes a sip of wine before she speaks.  "He challenges me Ceci."

"That's good."

"I wouldn't have thought so … but yes.  Most of the men in my life … and many of the women for that matter … allow me to have the final say."

"You're a very strong willed, single minded woman who likes to do things her own way.  You've known what you wanted since the time you were thirteen.  It's hard to argue with you."

"Well, David has never had a problem `arguing' with me."

"So you love him?"

"Love has never been an issue.  It's the happily-ever-after that I have had a hard time wrapping my mind around."


"Meaning it took me a while to see that we could have an ever-after … of any kind."

"And David - did … does he have a hard time seeing it too?"

"David?  Well … David doesn't need things clearly defined - especially when it comes to relationships.  He's the kind of guy who likes to take a trip with no plans; happy to let road take him where it wants to."

"Whereas Miss Madolyn Hayes wants to know the entire route, how long it is going to take and where all the gas stations are before she sets out."

"Aye, the rub that is Maddie and David.  But I think we are working toward … I don't know … something … something really good."

"So, is he THE ONE?"

"Oh Ceci - that is the question of the ages."  

"What does that mean?"

"I mean is there really a THE ONE for everyone?  For anyone?"

"You mean like a soul mate?"

"Yeah - like someone that fits so perfectly that there is never a question."

"Stu and I fit very well together from the beginning and right up until the end… there were a couple of periods when we had troubles but … yeah I suppose you could say that we were soul mates."

"Well David and I aren't."

"Oh.  That's too bad."

"No, no, no - don't misunderstand me.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  David is immature at times and occasionally careless and down right base …"

"You like the opera and he likes …"

"… Dollar beer night at ladies mud wrestling."

" … And those are the things that you love about him the most."

"Well not the most … but he wouldn't be David.  He can also be incredibly tender and caring and thoughtful.  He is no boy scout --"

"Not honest in thought, word and deed?"  Cecilia tried to help.

"Oh he is HONEST alright … sometimes a little too honest and direct and loud and, and, and.  He is not innocent or pure or - he can be a bit of a BAD BOY … you know what I mean?"

"I know the type.  Stu was more like Ashley Wilkes than Rhett Butler."

"Rhett Butler … never thought of David like that … but you might be right."

"How's the sex?"

Maddie nearly dropped her teeth.  Cecilia never discussed sex so openly in the past.  "Ceci -"

"We are adults, Maddie.  We can talk about this."

"Well … what can I say? … It's good … better than good … it is great.  Another area that has never been in debate."

"Is he a … one woman man?"

"If you are asking if I trust him."  She thought for a moment.  "With everything that I have - my business, my life and my heart."

"But not your head?"

Maddie laughed, "Well -- three out of four."

"He sounds complicated."

"To say the least.   … David is … he is full of life.  Full of all the energy that it takes to try new things and take risks and he forces me - well, drags me kicking and screaming most of the time - along with him."

"Like the agency?"

"And like us … I wouldn't have pursued a relationship with him … well I don't think I would have."  

"You were not attracted to him?"

"NOT attracted?  Now there's a laugh … No I was ATTRACTED to David pretty close to the first day we met.  Everyone is.  He is a charmer.  I spent the first few years fighting that attraction."


"I thought that that was all there was and I didn't want to … I just didn't want to.  So after we got together - shortly after - I ran from it pretty decisively."


"I don't want to rehash that stuff.  But let me just say that our getting together was not smooth sailing.  It was not candle light, caviar and violins playing in the background.  In fact many people have argued that it was not only NOT romantic it was NOT their idea of passion."

"What do you say?"

"I say?  … I say that he excites me, makes me feel alive and out of control.  Sometimes that can be scary, but most of the time it's thrilling.  You can't tell him I said any of this."

"You probably should tell him."

Maddie laughs.  "You don't know David and me … we don't do the heart to hearts … open honest discussion of our inner most thoughts and feelings … not our forte.  AND … I can say without hesitation we BOTH like it that way."

"So you talk around stuff and leave most things open for interpretation?"  Maddie nods slightly.  "That can be very dangerous in a relationship."

"I know.  I know you are right … but for now this works for us."  Maddie takes a sip of wine and thinks for a moment before she speaks again.  "Something pretty big happened to me ... well to us … at the very start of our relationship.  It all got very confusing, other people were dragged in and then it got pretty bad for a while.  It is all ancient history now.  But if we had just --- it doesn't matter it didn't go down that way and --- ."

"What happened?"

"I'll give you the condensed version but please know there is a TON of other stuff that was happening.  I was not guiltless in most of it but it was not entirely my fault either."  

"That is why they say it takes two to Tango."

"Or TANGLE."  Maddie takes a deep breath.  "We got together - finally.  I ran … literally … to Chicago.  Found out I was pregnant.  Came back … eventually.  After some major road blocks - we figured it out - or started to.  Then I lost the baby."

"Oh honey … I am so sorry."

"Yeah."  Maddie holds back a tear.  "It was bad … awful … wretched.   It nearly killed David and me.  It very nearly broke us up - well it did actually break us up.  It took us two years to work back to each other."

"When was this?"

"We have been back together for over a year now."

"And things are good."

"Things are great.  He moved in with me after that crazy person burned down his apartment."

"Have you talked about having another child?"

Maddie almost spit out her water.

"You need to start thinking about it." Cecilia continues.

"Yes, yes we do … I thought I was a year ago but it was a false alarm.  I used to be so regular you could set your calendar by my cycle but no more."

Maddie pulls a bottle of Advil out of her purse and takes a few more pills.  Cecilia watches and decides to say something.

"How much Ibuprofen are you taking a day Maddie?"

"What? … It's no big deal.  You know that when you get older everything just aches more."  Maddie swallows the pills and turns the conversation back to Cecilia.  "So tell me about you?  You look fantastic."

"I am feeling pretty good … now."


"I am a survivor, Maddie."

"A survivor?"

"I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer - four years ago - and I beat it.  I have been cancer free and healthy for at least eighteen months."

"That's wonderful.  I mean horrible … but wonderful that you're healthy."

"It wasn't easy - but I was lucky and life is good.  I work in a women's health clinic in Santa Barbara working with women over forty.  Trying to get the word out.  Catching something early is the only way to survive and I am not just talking about cancer."

"Information is never wasted."

"So when I say this to you … know that I love you and that I am speaking from experience."

"What?"  Maddie is confused.

"When was the last time you had your annual?"

"Eight - ten months ago.  I am fine Ceci.  Are you suggesting that because --?"

"I am just saying … that many women toss off the changes their bodies are going through as normal when they are anything but."

"I am fine.  My periods have always been - difficult."

"Maddie - you are over 40 -"

"Just barely -- ."

"You've been pregnant once and not carried that child to term - I'm sorry - that was very callous."  She reaches out to touch Maddie's arm.  "I don't mean to be.  It's just that I have seen so many women suffer needlessly."

Maddie nods.

"I care about you Maddie."

"I know.  I know you do."

"You say that your cycle is irregular?  Does it seem to be getting heavier?"


"The PMS worse?  Is it worse when you are on it rather than before?"

"Maybe … but."  Maddie shakes her head.  She has never thought about these questions before.

"Are you having hot flashes or night sweats?"

"What?  No.  Well … I mean it is hard to say.  I am sleeping with a man who can generate enough heat to keep Chicago warm all winter.  And that is when he is sleeping."  She smiles half-heartedly.

"Maddie … please, I am very serious on this subject."

"I can see that.  I think you are over reacting."

"Has your life undergone any changes recently?"

Maddie burst out laughing.  "No --- not at all … just the same old rut."  Cecilia looks a little confused.  "No pretty much nothing has stayed the same in the last eight years.  David is not a very ROUTINE kind of guy and being a detective is not a very ROUTINE kind of life."

"So it is hard to know what could mean something and what could be nothing."


"Please - do me a favor - make an appointment with your doctor - and if you don't have a good one - I'll send you to mine, Dr. Weed.  She is fantastic."

"Your doctor is Dr. Weed?"

"Do you know her?"

"She has been my doctor since I moved to Los Angles."  

"Small world."


"Please tell her everything … she knows your history … but she needs you to tell her the stuff that you don't think is important."



"I will.  I think you are overreacting --."

"Let me."

Maddie smiles sadly and takes Cecilia's hand warmly in hers and nods.

  à à à  Commercial  à  à  à


Scene 1 - Maddie's Office - Late Afternoon

Maddie is back at work flipping through piles of invoices and files trying to do the billing.  We can tell by the way she tosses the files around that she is annoyed.  David saunters in looking very much like the `cock of the walk.'

"Blondie Blonde … Miss me?"  He is moving to go around the desk to kiss her, but she stops him with a glare.

"Where have you been?"

"That's a yes."  He sits down casually in a chair opposite her, the kiss forgotten.  "Torrance … California … USA … Planet Earth … the Universe … Am I getting warmer?"  Her glare does not soften and he feigns a shiver.  "Nope … feels like I'm ice cold."

"You were supposed to be back by lunch time."

"Yeah … so … it ran a little long?"

"So you blew off our meeting with Archer?"

"It was pushed back to 3:30 and you had a lunch date."

"Excuse me?"

"Agnes told me that you went to lunch with an old friend - she covered you though. Told me it was a WOMAN friend."

"Agnes told you?"

"When I called in, like a good little detective should, before Bert and I started the bumper-to-bumper ride back to civilization."

Maddie picks up the phone and barks at Agnes to get into the office.  Agnes comes right in.

"Were you going to tell me that Mr. Archer called to change the appointment or that Mr. Addison called in?"

Agnes walks over and pulls two WHILE YOU WERE OUT messages that are taped to the lamp less than 3 inches from Maddie's face, directly in her line of sight.

"I'm sorry Miss Hayes.  I knew that I was going to be out when you got back from lunch … and I couldn't trust any of them to give you the message so I taped them here.  I guess I should have told you when I got back.  I'm sorry Miss Hayes, it won't happen again."

Maddie feels very foolish and David is loving the fact that she has snapped and is WRONG.  He gets up to lead Agnes out of the office.  

"Thank you Miss DiPesto.  As usual your efficiency has gone completely unnoticed.  You will please try to be less on-the-ball.  We just cannot let this kind of competence continue.  We'll talk about it later.  Back to your station, young lady."

"Thank you, Agnes."  Maddie called after her.  "I … I … I'm sorry."

Agnes leaves with a look of complete confusion.

"Gonna apologize to me now?  Or do you want to wait until you have slipped out of something less comfortable."

"Shut up, David."

"Oh, my, my Miss Hayes … a ladies' lunch certainly hasn't put you in a better mood."


David slouches down onto the couch.  "Nothing that a whip and a chair couldn't tame."

Maddie shakes her head and closes her eyes.  She tries to calm down.

"I'm sorry."  Clearly she isn't completely sorry.  She checks her watch and pulls a bottle of Motrin out of her drawer.  She discovers that it is empty and tries to throw it into the trash but misses.  She goes to the bathroom in search of another bottle.

"I guess that'll have to do for now."  David picks up the empty container and drops it into the basket.  "Maddie?  Are you alright?"

"Meaning what?"  She calls back from the bathroom.  

"Meaning that you are popping aspirin like M&M's."

She reenters the room with a half glass of water in her hand and a new bottle of Motrin.  "First of all, it is NOT aspirin.  Second of all … if you had ever gone through once in your life, what women go through every lousy month … you would not ask such a STUPID question."

"Don't kid yourself, sweet cheeks.  We men suffer right along with you."

"Right."  She sits back down at her desk.


"SO?  What?"

"How many have you taken today?"

"What is with everyone?"


"Cecilia was cross examining me too."

"A … I was not cross examining you and B… who is Cecilia?"

"She is the friend I had lunch with today.  Cecilia Stansfield.  You'll meet her tomorrow.  You were SUPPOSED to have met her today at lunch … but you chose to not come back on time."

David gets up to leave.  "This is where I came in."

"David … wait … I'm sorry."

He looks back at her and waits until she can make eye contact with him again.  She smiles tentatively to let him know that she is sorry.

"I am going to meet her tomorrow?"  He moves toward her desk to assume HIS position.

"She lives up in Isla Vista with her daughter's family.  She has invited us up to have an early dinner on their estate."

"Estate?  She's rich?"

"No … but the house is supposed to be like a resort; on the ocean, lovely gardens."

"Isla Vista?"

"Just north of Santa Barbara."

"Long drive."

"She invited us to stay with her.  She says she has got plenty of room."

He takes her hand in his and kisses it.  "Ok."

"Ok what?"

"Ok … Lets go to Isla Vista to visit your dear old friend Cecilia and her daughter's family."

"Did you want to stay up there Saturday night?"

"Maddie … how many times to I have to tell you … the only thing I want is you and me in bed … don't care where or how."  He grins and turns her hand over to kiss the palm.

Her face breaks into a broad grin.  "I think we better come home."  

"Chicken."  He kisses her softly on the lips.

Agnes knocks quickly pauses and enters.

"Miles Archer isn't coming.  He missed his connection.   He wants to reschedule for next week."

"Next week it is.  Thank you Miss DiPesto."  

Agnes slips out.

"Guess we are done for the day?"

"Looks that way."



"How `bout we blow this pop stand and I take you out for that date tonight?"

"A date?"

"Just dinner and a movie … course we could order take-out and rent a video."

"Are you sure you want to be alone with me … I might try to take your head off."

"You don't scare me, Blondie."  

"I'll try harder."

"Hit me with your best shot - baby."

"Call me `baby' again … and you'll get more than a shot."

He leads her out of the office.

à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à

Scene 2 - Run Down Apartment in Torrance - Early Evening

Rachel Kingston heaves herself up the stairs after a long day in the cafeteria.  She lets herself into an apartment on the second floor.  Dumping her purse and keys on the cluttered kitchen table, she hits the button on the answering machine.

"You have NO messages." Says the mechanical voice.  

Rachel looks disgusted.  She pulls a bottle of beer from the refrigerator and takes a long hit as she kicks off her shoes.  She pulls the phone handset off the wall and lowers herself down on to the kitchen stool.  She takes a second hit from the bottle and finishes the beer.  She dials.

After a moment; "Chris? …  I need to speak to Chris.  Fine … Let me talk with Tina.  … You know damn well who this is, CHARLES …" She waits as the phone is handed off.  "Yeah … It's me. … Archer is on his way to Los Angeles and he has hired some fancy Beverly Hills Detectives. …I met them. … Today … at work … they tracked me down at the school.  Can't tell you how hard that was to explain.  … The truth. … You bet I did. … No … No … NO … I didn't say anything, but they are going to find out."  She pulls a card out of her pocket.  "Blue Moon Investigations … Century City … David Addison … Addison … A - D - D - I - S - O - N … David.  … No, don't come down here.  I'll come up there. … No not tonight … I know …  Tomorrow … where?  … Fine … Fine … I'll see you then."  She hangs up and looks toward the refrigerator.  She wants another beer but the three feet to the fridge seems so far away.

à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à  à

Scene 3 - Outer Office at Blue Moon - Quitting Time

Maddie and David leave the office saying that they won't be returning that day.  Just before they go out of sight, David slaps the glass with his open palm.  He does it twice and then gives the thumbs up.

Inez is confused and looks to O'Neill.  "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means the TEN MINUTE Rule is in effect."

"Ten Minute Rule?"

"Yeah … we gotta give them ten minutes to get out of the building and then we can go."

Kris leans over to Jamie.  "They seem to be doing OK."

"The bosses?"  Jamie laughs.  "I lost my money sometime in July."

Jurgenson overhears their conversation.  "You mean you didn't take the extended bet?"

"What does that mean?"

"MacGullicuddy … didn't you offer them the chance to extend their bet?"

"I thought so."  MacGullicuddy pulls an envelope from his drawer.  

Agnes can't stand it any more.  "What is going on here?"

"Jaime needs to extend her bet."

"That is not what I am talking about … why are you people talking at all?  Isn't this episode long enough?"

"She didn't hear?"  Inez looks at O'Neil.

"Hear what?"

"Hey Bertie boy … you gonna handle this?"  MacGullicuddy snipes.

Bert puts down the paper he is reading.  "Handle what?"

"Your little woman here doesn't know why we have lines."

"They were promoted, Agnes.  I told you that."


"Yeah … They have speaking parts now."

"Doesn't it have to have merit … like to advance the case, the plot, the sub-text?"

"Nah … just a couple of lines here or there."

"That's stupid."

"To you … but my paycheck has doubled."

"OK … the ten minutes are up … let's go."

The staff file out of the office leaving Agnes dumbfounded.  The phone rings.

"Blue Moon …. No I am sorry they have left for the day.  I can leave them a message. … Tina LaSpring?  … If this is important I can reach them at home. … Are you sure you don't want to leave them a message … They'll get it Monday morning.  OK … Bye."

Agnes looks a little confused.

  à à à  Commercial  à  à  à

Act IV

Scene 1 - Hayes/Addison Bedroom - Saturday Morning

Maddie is sitting at her vanity putting on the last of her make up.  David's off key voice is echoing from the bathroom.

"WHOA CECILIA… you're breaking my heart. You're shaking my confidence daily.  Oh Cecilia, I'm down on my knees, I'm begging you please to come home.  Come on home."  

Maddie stares at the reflection in the mirror.  She is dressed casually - light pants, tank top and classic linen over shirt.  Her casual festive appearance is in direct competition with the scowl on her face.

"Making love - MAKING LOVE - in the afternoon with Cecilia up in my bedroom.  I got up to wash my face … when I come back to bed, someone's taken my place."

Maddie is attempting to put on mascara but her fists are so tightly clenched she can't get close enough to her eye without fear of poking it out.  David frames himself in the bathroom door.  A towel wrapped around his waist and shaving cream on his face.

"My razor?"

She jumps at his voice in the room but does not turn around.

"Top left drawer."

David bounces back into the bathroom.  "WHOA CECILIA… you're breaking my heart. You're shaking my confidence daily … down on my knees …   Making love - MAKING LOVE - in the afternoon with Cecilia up in my bedroom.  I got up to wash my face."  He hums the next verse.

Maddie gives up putting her make up on and goes to make the bed: yanking the sheets into place, slapping the pillows into position.   She constantly glares back toward the bathroom as she walks around the room picking up discarded socks, shoes, yesterday's T-shirt and boxers.  His suit coat and pants, which were left on the back of the bedroom door, she re-hangs.

David walks in from the bathroom freshly shaved and wet hair slicked back still humming and occasionally breaking into verse.

"Jubilation, She loves me again, I fall on the floor and I'm laughing.  Jubilation -"

"DAVID!!!"  Maddie screams.  


"WOULD YOU PLEASE?!  … You're driving me crazy."

"You like my singing."

"No - no I don't, and what I really don't like is having to pick up after you like I am your mother or your maid."

"So don't."

"You may like living in squalor  … but I don't."

"Oh ho … someone woke up on the wrong side of their cycle this morning."

Maddie turns to him with fire in her eyes.

"How dare you!!!  How DARE you write me off like that -- "

"Write you off?"

"You - you card carrying misogynist chauvinist egocentric adolescent dog."

"Misogynist?  I love women -- "

"Don't you dare dismiss me  -- "

"I wasn't - "

"Love women?  HA … All you love is getting your --- "

"HEY!!!"  His raised voice stills the tantrum. "TIME OUT."

They take a moment and then David starts.

"What's going on here?"

"I think you need to be a little more considerate now that we are living together."  She self-righteously snaps.

"Ainnnt … wrong answer.  But thank you for playing our game."

"Go to hell, David."

"Maddie - I am really trying.  God knows I am trying and if you were honest with yourself, you would admit it too."

"I can't."

"Can't be honest? Knew that."

"Can't admit that you are trying … my patience maybe."

"What's your deal?"

"What is that supposed to mean?  I ask you to pick up after yourself and you turn it around and say that it is me … that there is something wrong with me?"

"OK - OK - we can't talk about this now.  Fine."  He whips off the towel and pulls on some shorts.  "I am going - to go - take a walk - take the dog for a walk."

"That'll be a first."

He stares at her for a moment deciding if he wants to stay and fight.  He doesn't.

"Miss Me …  let's go."  The dog yelps, jumps off the chair and runs out of the room just ahead of David.

"We have to leave here in 45 minutes."  She calls to his back.  The door slam is her answer.

Cut to The Street Outside the Hayes/Addison Residence

David is walking quickly and Miss Me is running circles around him … off leash … but very happily sniffing and investigating everything.

"Excuse me … sir."  A voice calls from behind David.  "You need to put that animal on a leash.  Can I see your license to operate that dog?"

David turns to see Richie driving slowly next to him.

"So now you're the dog catcher?"

"I applied … never got a call back."  Richie parks his car and jogs to catch up to David.

"So … Dave … looks like you got a little domestic disturbance going on."

"What makes you think that?"

"You don't walk the dog."

"Should be a detective."


David glances at him.

"OK, OK … can't blame a guy for trying. … So did you get the old `I'm not your mother speech'? Or was it the garbage?  The toilet seat is my personal favorite."

David stops and looks away from Richie.  He is shaking his head.

"You see that's the thing … we don't fight like that."

"Meaning what?"

"Exactly that … we don't fight about stupid stuff like that."

"All couples fight like that … it is in the rule book or something."

"We don't."

"So you have never been told to ---"

"No … well yes … but no, not like that … not like she hates me or would rather I be on the moon … we save that for the cases."

"It's been three months … almost four … the honeymoon is over, little brother."

David looks at him quickly.  "THAT … OLDER BROTHER … will NEVER happen … not if I have anything to say about it."

"Trust me Dave --- you don't."

"Nah… it is something else … something's up … I have known that woman for more than seven years … know her better than I know myself … something's off."

"Think you are overreacting there, Dave."

Irritated, David snaps.  "What are you doing here Richie?  Don't you have a pool table to level?"

"Old news …"

"There's a surprise."

"Guess I should have done some market research first.  Addison Leveling has gone the way of milkman."

"So now what is it?  Renting skate boards on the pier?  Hot dog vendor at Dodger Stadium?"

"Now that's an idea … but I was thinking about being a personal trainer to the STARS."

"Training them to do what?"  

"Whatever … so we're free for dinner?"


"Yeah … Maddie said something about cooking last week … maybe that's the problem … having a Martha Stewart Panic Attack."

"Sorry Rich - you snooze you lose.  We made other plans."

"Without us?"  He looked very hurt.

"Get over yourself … Take your wife out."  David digs into his pocket and pulls out some money and throws it at Richie.  "And why don't you pay for a change?"

"I got cash."

"She deserves more than McDonalds for putting up with you. … Damn … where's the dog?"

They look around to discover that Miss Me is waiting patiently in the grass.  David whistles to her and scratches her behind the ears.  

"Wish all women were this easy.  … Gotta go … later brother."

David jogs off back toward the house with Miss Me in hot pursuit.  Richie stands for a moment with David's cash in his hand.  He stuffs it into his pocket.

Cut to Hayes/Addison Kitchen  

David is filling the water bowl for the dog when Maddie enters.


"You were expecting someone else?"  He gives her a sidelong glance as he puts the water down.  "Or just hoping?"

"David - "

"Hey … let's forget about it."  He walks past her toward the living room.  "Whatever that was about … is not what it was about."


"There is something up with you."

"With me?"  Her blood starts to rise.

He turns to look at her and sees the red building up in her face.  

"It could be me … not likely.  Could be the caseload.  Could be this 24/7 that we are doing … God knows we are on top of each other all day … everyday… not that I have a problem with the positioning -"


"Who knows… It could be a hundred things … but it ain't about hamper vs. not-to-hamper or hanger usage."

"No it wasn't.  It was about you dismissing me like some second class --"

"I was not dismissing you."

She mocks his voice.  "Someone woke up on the wrong side of their cycle this morning."

He grins defensively.  "That did sound pretty dismissive, didn't it?"


"Well that is not what I meant.  … Well, I mean I did mean it."

"You are not making a case for yourself David."

"What I mean is … Maddie … admit it … you are the queen of UMS's … you have got to give me that … And I have gotten pretty good at knowing when one is coming … and I know how to keep my head down … but-"

"But?  You better get to the point Addison -- quickly."

"But … you have never been irrational."


"Irrational ... illogical … unreasonable … well there have been times when you have been unreasonable - but that is just you."


"Or me .. but what I witnessed upstairs is … irrational."

"You think it is IRRATIONAL for me to -"

"Maddie … don't go to there … if you are going to try to convince me that you were THAT upset over socks and shoes … or some stupid sexist comment … one of a million …  then you need a shrink … or some other licensed professional."
"Fine - maybe I did overreact - a little."   Maddie is not convinced that she did.

"I bet that killed you to say."

"Look David … if you are going to be flip - "

"Just trying to lighten the mood."  He puts his arm on her shoulder and she stiffens.  He starts to pull away and she stops him.   

"Can we just forget about it?"

"I know I can."

"OK … it is forgotten."  They smile tentatively at each other.

"… So I get to keep my head?"

"Addison."  She smiles at him.  "Get dressed.  We have got to go."

"Don't want to be late for … C  E  C  I  L  I  A … we'll be down our knees … begging her please - "

He bounds out of the room and Maddie looks after him, glad that that little scene is over.  

  à à à à  à  à à  à  à

Scene 2 - Bistro on Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood - Lunch Time

Rachel Kingston is sitting at a table outside the bistro.  She is chain smoking and by the fullness of the ashtray; she has been there for a little while.  A very tall woman dressed in spangles, sparkles and heels that lift her almost six  inches off the street struts up to the edge of the café.  She reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ears with the familiar painted nails.  Rachel looks up at her and takes a moment to recognize her.

"I'll never get used to this new look of yours."

"You better … cause it's too late now."

"Too late is an understatement. … We've got a lot to discuss."

"Says you …  it is pretty clear to me."

"Look … TINA … I don't see it the way you do."

"That's why I am here - but this is the last time."

"You can't let this happen."

"I don't see that there is any other choice … not for Andrew.  He is all that is really important.  Not you … not anyone else … only Andrew."

"So Andrew doesn't need a grandmother?  He doesn't need his --- "

"He doesn't need to be confused or ripped away from another family."

"Sit down."

Tina drops her bag on the table and slides into the seat across from Rachel.

"So tell me about this new detective … what's his name?"

"Addison … David Addison … not your type, honey."  Rachel grins.  "But his little buddy might be a possibility."

  à à à à  à  à à  à  à

Scene 3 - Hathaway Estate in Isla Vista - Saturday Afternoon

It is mid-afternoon on the veranda at the Hathaway estate.  Maddie, Cecilia and Chloe are seated around the patio table near the built in bar-b-que.  Chloe is a younger version of Cecilia.  She has long dark hair and her eyes are little bluer but other than that, the women are identical.  Chloe is talking rather intensely to Maddie.  Maddie is looking back and forth between mother and daughter.  It is clear that Chloe is talking about Cecilia; who looks generally uncomfortable but jumps in to clarify for Maddie every so often.  At one point, Maddie reaches over to take Cecilia's hand and presses it warmly.  Cecilia smiles at her.  

Behind them is the pool and beyond that is a great expansive lawn leading to the bluff that overlooks the ocean.  David and Marcus Hathaway is a handsome young man with full beard and mustache dressed in jeans and polo.  The three Hathaway children (Dylan (7), Sean (5) and Miranda (4)) are playing a version of bocce on the lawn.  Little Miranda is hanging on to David's hand and forcing him to swing her.  Well forcing is not really right … David is in no hurry to turn the child over to her dad.  The men are laughing and seem to be enjoying each other's company.  Marcus is a very doting father and offers to take Miranda off David's hands several times.  David convinces Marcus that he is fine with her.

Fade to the BBQ - Marcus and Chloe are hovering over the grill playfully arguing about the doneness of the steaks and burgers on the grill.  The boys practice their diving for Maddie.  Miranda is floating around the shallow end under Maddie's watchful eye.  David and Cecilia can be seen just inside the house.  Cecilia is chopping vegetables for a salad with David's not so helpful assistance.   She is talking seriously and David looks a little uncomfortable.

Fade to just after lunch time … Miranda is sitting between David and Chloe.  Miranda's face and hands are covered with ketchup from her burger.  David is in a meaningful conversation with Chloe who occasionally checks on the child's progress.  Maddie is listening intently to Marcus who is clearly in the middle of a long drawn out tale.  Cecilia and the boys are clearing the plates.

Fade to late afternoon … the adults are sitting on the patio and the kids are nowhere to be scene.  David is very animatedly telling some story that Maddie keeps playfully interrupting.  With each interruption the laughing and silliness is amplified.  It has the vague appearance of a stand up act.

Fade to early evening … David is shaking hands with Marcus.  They are making plans for some male bonding event - baseball, basketball, hockey.  Maddie hugs Chloe and Cecilia and they make plans for lunch on Tuesday.  Maddie waves and slides into the passenger seat and David takes his position behind the wheel.  More waves and David slowly takes the car out of the drive.

Fade to evening … just outside of Santa Monica, Maddie's head is resting on David's shoulder.  She is fast asleep.  David watches the road intently, his hand gripped tightly on the wheel.   Something is on his mind.  He takes a quick glance at Maddie with a look of loving concern.

  à à à à  à  à à  à  à

Scene 4 - Cut to Hayes/Addison Bedroom - Saturday Night

Maddie enters from the bathroom in her bathrobe.  Her hair is pulled back and her face is freshly washed clean of make-up.  She is a stunningly beautiful woman, with or without the cosmetic improvements.  David is looking out the window, still dressed.

"Something out there?"  She calls gently to him.

He doesn't respond.

"David?  You OK?"

"Huh?  … Oh … No … just looking at the water in the pool."

She walks up next to him and wraps her arms around his waist.  "Thank you for today."

He pulls her into a tight embrace tucking her head under his chin so she cannot see his face.  "Thank me?  I just went along for the ride."  

"Cecilia really likes you."

"She is one fine lady."  

"She is … I'm very glad we found each other again.  She's like the sister I never had."

"One in a million."

"Chloe and Marcus are pretty great too."

"Good people."

"Chloe's a miracle.  She was a very screwed up teenager.  Ceci gave up her career and nearly destroyed her marriage to bring that kid back from the edge."

"They seem to be very close now."  

"They are both pretty passionate about their beliefs, aren't they?"  

He pulls her tightly to him.  "Not unlike someone else I know."   He kisses the top of her head.

"So they told you all about their mission too, huh?"

"It's a good mission."

"It is.  They're making a difference - the clinic, the programs, getting the word out.  Between Ceci and Chloe, they will reach every woman living on the west coast - and beyond.  There will not be a woman between the ages of 18 and 55 who have not been pre-screened for … well everything."

They are silent for a moment.  

"Cecilia was very lucky."  David said softly looking back over the years.

"Very lucky."  Maddie turns her face up to his.  "Are you OK?"

"Yeah … you done in the bathroom?"  He kisses her temple and walks away.

"So … I've got a little competition, huh?"


"Miranda.  She has got it bad for you."

"Yeah well … if I were thirty years younger, I would be looking twice at her too."

"Turning the heads of girls of all ages … there ought to be a law."

"Yeah … I guess."

"OK … what is going on?"

"Going on?  Coming off is the real question."  

"You have barely said a word since we left Ceci's."

"I have said at least seventy-five words … should we count?"  he calls back.

"Come on David.  Didn't you have a good time today?"

"What? … It was nice … at little tame for my taste … but ... no ... I mean … yeah … it was nice.  What do you want from me?"

"David … something is going on."

He walks out of the bathroom grinning.  "I just think you could be a little more considerate and leave the toilet seat up for me."  He grabs her playfully and they fall onto the bed.  David is of course nuzzling her neck.

"Are you MOCKING me?"

"Since when do I MOCK?"

They kiss.  David pulls back and looks at Maddie for a moment with a very serious expression.

"Would you do something for me?"

"Maybe … depends on what it is."

"That's my girl … never give an inch."  He grins.  "Do what Cecilia suggested."

"Let my hair grow?"

He laughs nervously.  "Yeah … need to have something to hang on to."  His expression changes, "You know what I mean."

"What is going on?"  

David looks away.  

"Why?"  She asks again.

"Because I asked you to."

Maddie sees that he is not playing.  Very sincerely she says,  "I will."

David kisses her - softly at first - but with her eager response … well… fade to the moonlight.

  à à à  Commercial  à  à  à

Act V

Scene 1 - Dr. Weeds Office - Tuesday at 10:18 AM

Dr. Weed enters with Maddie close behind.  The good doctor directs her to take a seat as she takes her place behind the desk.  Maddie's file is open and Dr. Weed is looking through it.  She doesn't look up as she starts to speak.

"I am sorry to keep you waiting Maddie."

"That's OK."

"It looks like here you weren't due for another couple of months … what's going on?"

"Going on?"

"Going on … I have been an OB/GYN for fifteen years … no one comes in early … unless there is something wrong."

"I am not sure if anything is wrong … necessarily.  I just feel different.  I am tired all the time and I feel … I don't know how to describe it … on edge.  Like I never have a moment to myself.  David says I am getting irrational."


"Says David … but it was also pointed out to me --- rather emphatically --- that since now I am over forty, I need to pay attention to the changes that my body is experiencing."

"Not bad advice … from David?"

"No … it was Cecilia Stansfield actually.  She told me that you were her doctor too."

"Oh yes … Cecilia.  She is a wonderful woman - a little zealous at times but for a good cause.  So … part of this visit is being prompted by Cecilia's mission to get everyone woman in America to be on a first name basis with their doctors, huh?"

"I suppose so."

"Well lets get back to you and the changes you are experiencing.  You say you are tired all the time?  And have the feeling of being on edge?  Well that could be signs of something … or nothing more than you are working too hard."

"I am working very hard these days … and David …"

"How is David?"

"He is the same … we are living together now."

"How's that going?"

"Good … well … better then I expected."

"Sexual relations are normal?"

"I don't know if I would call them `normal' … but they are fine."  Maddie says a little red faced.

"Have you two talked about having a baby yet?"

"No … I mean we will … I am sure we will … someday … soon … but we haven't talked about it … yet."

"You aren't getting any younger Maddie.  It is time to start seriously thinking about it."

"We will."

"What else is different?  About a year ago, you thought you might be pregnant.  Have your periods returned to a normal cycle?"

"Yes and no … I mean they are usually right around the same time … every 4 weeks ... but they seem to be heavier and the cramps are much worse than I remember.  Again … I wrote it off to not enough exercise or sleep or vitamins."

"All possible causes … but there are other possibilities.  Is the pain chronic or only during your cycle?"

"During the cycle, I guess."  Maddie says unconvincingly.

"There is no pain during sex?"

She laughs.  "No … no pain."  

Dr. Weed looks back at Maddie's file.  "You are not on the pill and you don't have an IUD.  What are you using for birth control?"

"David is taking care of that."  There is an uncomfortable silence as Dr. Weed continues to make notes on Maddie's chart.  "So what could be going on Dr Weed?"

"Well I can't say for sure until we do the exam, and run a some tests.  We'll take blood and urine along with the pap smear and we'll make a diagnosis when all the information is in."

"But what could it be?"

"It is too early to speculate.  There is not need to scare you--"

"Scare me?  Too late for that."

"It might be nothing … like you said … you are working hard, your home life has changed and your body is changing.  It could be something as minor as a cyst … a lot of women have them … they are more of an annoyance then anything else."

"But …"

"It could be a more serious kind of cyst."  

"More serious?"

"There is a wide variety.  It could be an ectopic pregnancy … but I think I can rule that out … your symptoms would be much more pronounced.  It could be something as serious as Endometriosis … but that normally would have been discovered years ago.  It is rare that a woman develops that at your age."

"Finally my age works to my advantage.  What else?"

"It could be that you are perimenopausal -- rare but non uncommon."

"She gives, then she takes away."

"Maddie … I don't want you to worry.  There is nothing to worry about until we know something for sure.  Again … it is probably nothing."

"You haven't said anything about -"

"Cancer?"  Maddie nods.  "There is no history of cancer in your family and you are at low risk … so I lets not even think about that until the tests come back, shall we?"


"Well …. I have kept you waiting long enough … "

  à à à à  à  à à  à  à

Scene 2 - Maddie's Office - Friday Afternoon

Maddie is stretched out on the couch and David is at her desk trying to balance a quarter on its edge.

"So do you think he is going to make it this time?"

"If not … we get another afternoon off."

There is a knock on the door.

"No such luck. IN!"  David barks.

Agnes pokes her head in.  "Mr. Archer is here."

"Thank you Agnes … please send him in."  

Maddie resumes her position at her desk and David crosses to the door.

ENTER Miles Archer Jr.

David is hard pressed to contain his amusement at the throwback to the 40's that stands before him; Maddie is less than amused.  Archer is a rumpled middle-aged man.  He is tall, barrel-chested and is wearing a fedora and a broad smile that seems permanently etched on his face.  His eyes are clear and are ogling Maddie up and down.  

"Mr. Archer."  David shakes his hand and gestures toward the chair in front of Maddie's desk.  "I am David Addison, and this is -"

"Madolyn Hayes."  Archer's smoky voice fills the room.  

He reaches across the desk to press Maddie's un-extended hand.  She recovers quickly and offers it halfhearted.  David comes behind the desk to sit on the credenza more to mark his territory than to be close to Maddie.  

"Mr. Archer." Maddie says, pulling her hand away.

"Miles, please call me Miles."

"Mr. Archer --."  Maddie counters

David cuts in, "We have not located Chris DeWinter but I feel that we have made head way."

"DeWinter is elusive.  You are not the first detective agency that I have hired for this case."  Archer can't take his eyes off of Maddie.  "I need to apologize about last week.  I had known how beautiful you were in real life --"

"Please don't apologize.  What can you tell us about Chris DeWinter?"  Maddie wants to get this man out of her office quickly.

David interrupts.  "Miles - I don't think you would be breaking any confidentiality agreements if you told us why we are trying to locate this DeWinter person and for who."


"Whom?  For whom."

"I'll tell you anything you want to know.  None of this is a secret.  Chris DeWinter kidnapped my client's daughter's kid."

"Kidnapped?"  Maddie was confused.  She is unaware that there is a child involved in this case at all.

"Let me start at the beginning.  My client is Jack Sparks."  He pauses assuming that Maddie and David will show recognition and be impressed; they aren't.  "… The Pontiac King? … Toledo Ohio's Man of the Year?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Archer … I am not up on Toledo's prominent citizens."

"He is a very wealthy man - must pull down two - two-fifty a year.  Anyway his daughter, Linda, got mixed up with kids she shouldn't have.  When her father got wind of who these kids were - he put a stop to it.  Linda - being a teenager … you know how teenagers are … ran away from home.  She would up out here in California with this Chris DeWinter person."

"How long ago was that?"

"About seven years ago.  He was a different kind of fella … different from the Toledo crowd … but much more dangerous.  Do you know what I mean?"

They nod, but they really didn't know what he meant.

"Anyway … she finds out that she is pregnant."

"She found out after she got to California?"  David asks.

"She was at least 3 months gone when she got here."

"Had she met DeWinter in Toledo?"

"No … met him at the bus station when she got here."

"I see."  

Maddie is beginning to feel like she has come in on the middle of a movie.  She sits back and watches Archer.

"Anyway this DeWinter person convinces her to move in with him and he will see her through this pregnancy.  Out of the kindness of his heart … right.  He keeps her locked away in his apartment ... no food - well not enough … no phone … no contact with another living soul except some strange woman who claims to be a Mid-wife.  Eventually the kid was born.  Less then 2 months go by.  Linda goes out for some diapers and stuff when she gets back DeWinter and the baby are gone.  She contacts her father … after trying to find her baby herself.  Sparks brings her home and spends the next four years tracking down DeWinter and the baby.  He finds them in a Trailer Park in Irvine.  There is a custody battle … Linda like a stupid foolish girl … had put DeWinter down as the father on the birth certificate … the court rules in Sparks favor and grants sole custody to Linda."

"So why are you looking for him now?  Three years later."

"Linda has married the kid's father … she want to have the birth certificate changed and wants to erase all contact with DeWinter from her life.  All I need him to do is sign off on an affidavit that he is not the biological father and relinquishes all claim on the kid."

"In exchange for?"

"Sparks will drop the kidnapping charges against him."

"Kidnapping charges?"

"He dropped it at Linda's request when she got custody."

"Isn't kidnapping a federal offence?"

"Because he was listed as the father, never left the state and didn't show any signs of trying to hide his where-abouts they wouldn't do anything."

"If he is the father shouldn't he have some rights?"  Maddie asks innocently.

"Father?  HA … now there's a laugh."

"What do you mean?  He was with the child for the first four years."

"DeWinter ain't a real MAN.  He is … funny? … You know … Happy?  … Swishy? … Batting for the other team? … Light in the loafers? … He is a HOMOsexual."

  à à à à  à  à à  à  à

Scene 3 - Maddie's Office - Moments later

Maddie is staring out the window.  David walks back in.  He has just seen Archer out.  Without turning around Maddie speaks clearly.

"David - I don't want any part of this case."

"How can you say that?"

"I just did.  Call Archer and tell him that we have decided not to take his case."

"Can't do that, Maddie."


"Can't  … we have already taken it … we are working on it.  You told him that on the phone."

"Well then I can UNTELL him that on the phone too."

She moves toward the phone.

"Just where are you going to call?  The lobby?  The elevator hasn't even hit the 5th floor yet."

"Addison!  I want off this case."


"I don't like him."

"He sure likes you."

"I don't believe him.  I think he is lying through his grinning pointy teeth.  And I don't want any part of a case that takes a child away from his father."

"Alleged Father."

"You are not buying that crap."

"Buying what?  That gay men aren't fathers … I've heard that."

"I don't want this case."

"Can we talk about this … like PARTNERS."

"Fine… partner … talk … but we are done with this case."

"As long as you're keeping an open mind."  David grins.  He is actually enjoying the fight with her.


"There is more to this case than Miles Archer.  Rachel Kingston has a different take on this thing altogether."

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning that she told me that DeWinter was the father and it was the mother who took off."




"What does that mean Maddie?"

"It means fine … I don't care who the father is.  I don't care who took off.  I don't want to work for that man or THE PONTIAC KING."

"We might get a good deal on a '92 Firebird."


"Sunbird? … Grand AM?  … Grand Prix?  … Le Mans?"  Maddie's glare has only intensified.  "No Pontiac? … Ok … look ... all I am saying is that we should find this DeWinter person and hear his version of events."


"For no other reason than to give him an opportunity to fight them on this.  Maybe he doesn't know.  He has been out of touch with pretty much every one connected to this case for the last two years."

Maddie thinks for a moment.  Her look softens and it is clear that the tension that she held in her body is released.

"You're right."

"I'm right?  Of course I'm right."

"One condition.  We speak to this Chris DeWinter person first and we don't give any information to Archer until we have all the facts."

"That might affect our fee."  She glares at him again.  "But … I am ok with that."  He walks over to her and puts his arm around her shoulder.  "Felt like old times just now."

"Old times?"

"Yeah … you and me fighting about taking or not taking a case."

She wraps one arm around his waist.  "Have we ever not fought about a case?"

"Nah recently is has been more bickering … the staff was starting to call us the Bickersons."

"Rather than the Bantersons?"

"Can't really call what we just did `banter.'"

"I suppose not. … But we don't `bicker' either."

"I never thought so."

"So now what?"

"Well … It's Friday night and I got me somebody … I got some money cause I just got paid … How I wish we could ---."

"Get what rhymes with `paid'?"

"You know what Goldielocks … I think we are beginning to think alike."

"Now that scares the hell out of me."

They start to walk out of the office arm in arm when the phone rings.

"Don't get it Maddie … whatever it is can wait `til Monday."

Maddie just smiles and picks up the phone.

"Yes Agnes? … Who? … Thank you."  

Maddie's smile drops immediately and is replaced with concern.   She does not meet David eye.  She knows he is watching her closely.  She pushes one of the lines on the phone.

"Dr. Weed? … I see.  … I don't know what that means. … Of course … No. … Monday … 11:30 AM … Of Course … Yes …  Thank You Dr. Weed."  

Maddie hung up the phone and sunk down in to her chair.


"Dr. Weed wants to see me again on Monday."

David comes over and sits on the edge of her desk.  "Maddie?"

Maddie looked up into his eyes.  "There are some irregularities in the tests."

Hold on Maddie and David looking confused, scared, nervous.

  à à à à  à  à à  à  à


There you go … the first episode of the Virtual Season 8.  The usual thanks go to Diane, Sue and Sarah.  What a great team to work with.  Sue gets special mention this time as the "technical advisor."  Thanks Sue.  And to Diane, collaborator and beta-reader extraordinaire … thanks and Happy Birthday, girlfriend.

It is gonna be one hell of a season, hang on folks your are in for a wild and wonderful ride.