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Endo Life, As We Know It


Act I
Scene 1 - Blue Moon Outer Office - Monday Morning

Maddie calls from her open office door to Agnes.

"Miss DiPesto?  Is Mr. Addison back yet?"

"No Ma'am.  He should be here any minute."

Maddie enters with her bag and briefcase under her arm.  She is checking her watch.

"Well I can't wait any longer.  Call me a taxi, will you?"

"Mr. Addison said not to let you leave.  He made me promise.  He swore he would be back on time."

"Agnes, anything could have happened.  He could be stuck in traffic or had a flat tire or ran out of gas or the car could have broken down."

"Oh my.  Do you really think so?  Should we go out and look for him?"


"He made me promise, Miss Hayes.  He'll be here any minute.  I know he will."

"Five minutes Agnes … five minutes."


"Do I hear one?"  David's voice bursts in cheerfully from the hallway.

"It's about time.  The keys."

"I'm driving."



"Well that's going to be a pretty good trick since you're NOT GOING."

"I am."

"Are not."

"Am so."

"David, do we really need to do this?"  

She tries to grab the keys from his hand.  He pulls them away and puts them behind his back.

"Fine … I'll take a cab.  Agnes, the cab?  Then call Dr. Weed's office and tell them I am going to be late."  

"Yes ma'am."  Agnes picks up the phone and starts to dial.  Maddie turns on her heel and marches toward the elevator.

"Belay that order Miss DiPesto."

"Mr. Addison!"

"That's an order, Sailor."

"Aye, Aye Captain."

David follows Maddie down the hall and catches up with her at the elevator.

"Why can't I drive you?"

"We talked about this … we hashed and rehashed and over-hashed this all weekend."

"So HASH me again."  

Maddie gives him THE look that says that this is no time for humor, particularly bad humor.  She turns away from him and starts pushing the DOWN button furiously.  The elevator finally arrives and both get in.  Maddie pushes the lobby floor and David pushes parking level 3.  The doors close and they are alone - in close quarters.  She is not looking at him and clicking her fingernails on the wall.

"Maddie … I am trying to be … supportive."  He says in all sincerity.

Maddie breathes a huge breath out and drops her shoulders.  She turns to him.

"I know you are.  And I really do appreciate it.  But … you are not coming with me."

"I don't understand why."

"David - look … I will tell you everything … I swear … cross my heart and hope to die."

"Don't say that."

"David … please … I don't want you there."

David's face drops completely.  

"I'm sorry … I don't really mean that.  I mean …I want you … I just don't … damn it.  I'm not good at this."  

"This what?"

"This … THIS … This COUPLE thing.  I don't want to hurt you David … I just want to do this alone.  Ok?"

"I want to be ---"

"Supportive … I know.  But nothing is going to happen.  It is just a meeting ... an office visit.  She is going to go over the test results, probably take another quart of blood --."

"And other bodily fluids-"

"… And discuss … I don't know … stuff."

"Like what kind of `stuff'?"

"I don't know … options … doctors are always big on telling you the OPTIONS."

"Options for what? You see this is why --."

"David - please."

The lobby door opens.  She looks at David to see if he will give up the keys before she goes to get a cab.  He reluctantly hands over the keys but will not let go of her hand.  The doors close and they are alone again.

"I'm just worried."

"I know … I am a little off balance myself."

"Is that new?"  He smiles weakly.

She presses his hand tighter.  "… But there is really nothing to worry about until we know IF there is anything to worry about."

"When there is, will you let me worry?"

"IF … a BIG IF … then we'll both worry."

He wraps her up in his arms.  The look in his eyes that he is hiding from her is more than worried; he is down right scared.  

The doors open in the garage.  David walks her to the car and opens the door for her.  On the driver's seat is a single perfect long stem red rose.  Maddie picks it up and holds it to her nose.  She looks back at him with a reluctant smile.

"Still delivering your own flora I see."

"Trying to save a few bucks."  He kisses her lightly on the lips.  "Come straight home afterward young lady.  No stopping off at the Mall or to get your nails done."

She nods slightly and with a quick wave and a smile, she is gone.  David is alone in the garage watching the last place he saw her before she drove out of sight.  He shakes his head to get the thoughts he can't control to stop flooding him.  He drops his gaze and slowly retreats to the elevator.

Cut to Inside of David's Office Minutes later

David pulls a pamphlet out of his breast pocket and drops it on the desk face down.  He pulls off his coat, rolls up his sleeves and sits down.  Then he stands up and paces in front of the windows.  

We close in on the pamphlet.  The words "CANCER TREATMENT OPTIONS" are all we can read.  

He pulls juice out of the fridge and drinks quickly spilling on his shirt.

"This is ridiculous.  I should have gone with her."

He pulls on his coat and stuffs the pamphlet back into his coat.  He starts for the door when Richie bursts in.

"Hey there brother … buy your newly employed sibling some lunch."

"Rich … kind of in a hurry."

Agnes knocks on the door and pokes her head in.

"Mr. Addison … Miss Hayes just called."

"What?  What did she say?  Is she still on the phone?"

"No … She said that Dr. Weed was called away on an emergency this morning and is running late.  Her appointment is pushed back forty-five minutes so she may not make it back for the 1:30 with Mr. Johnson."

"Oh … Ok … thank you."

"Mr. Addison … is everything all right?"

"Sure … sure …everything is fine."

Agnes leans in to whisper in David's ear.  "Is Miss Hayes pregnant?"

"NO … No,  it's nothing like that … at least I don't think so … no … no … everything is fine.  Thank you Agnes."

Agnes leaves and David slumps down onto the couch.

"What is going on Dave?  Something you need to tell your brother?"

"Nothing … it's a check up … nothing."

"Then why are you acting like--?"

"Like what?" David snaps at him.  "How am I acting?"

"Well you are acting like something is wrong."

David leans back on the couch and covers his face with his arm.

"No … nothing … everything is fine … I don't like doctors."

"Doctors?  Yeah … you and Dr. Bornstein had a few … issues."

"That man was a quack … can't believe Mom kept taking us to him."

"He was better than Dr. Schneider."

"Schneider? Oh yeah … the dentist.  He hated children … refused to give Novocain to any one under the age of 17.  I'm surprised he had any fingers left."

"What about Dr. White?"

"Mom's doctor?"  David gets a very serious expression on his face.

"Yeah … he smelled like formaldehyde … like old Mr. Watkins … the biology teacher."

"White should have stuck with frogs."

"Dave … it was not his fault … you aren't still blaming him?"

"All I know is that Mom was fine until she started seeing that sawbones … he started cutting on her and --."

"She went to him because she was sick … he didn't cause it."

"I don't want to talk about this. Tell me about your new job."


"Richie … I mean it.  You and I will never see eye to eye on this subject, so let's drop it."  David is angry, angrier than he should be over an event that happened more than a decade ago.

Richie is silent for a moment trying to decide if he wants to pursue the issue.

"Tell me about this new GET-RICH-QUICK scheme of yours."

"I am working for Roller Coaster Company of America.  I'm a ride tester."

"Excuse me?"

"I am going to go to all the amusement parks west of the Mississippi, ride all the roller coasters and report back my findings."

"What the hell do you know about roller coasters?"

"What's to know?  You sit and try not to lose your lunch."

"Get a real job there, Rich."

"They are paying me $15. per coaster."

"Plus expenses?"

"Well … no … I gotta get there …"

"And pay to get in … wait in line … right … this is a career waiting to happen … bet you were hand picked from 3000 applicants."

"Well, when you put it like that."

David checks his watch again.  "Hey … not to burst your bubble and run … but I got somewhere to be and you are giving me a ride.  Let's go."

Rich and David leave the office nearly knocking down a woman coming through the door.

"Excuse me … um … ma'am…. Miss."

"Are you David Addison?"

David doesn't stop walking.  

"I am … but Miss?"  

"MS … LaSpring… Tina LaSpring."

"Right. Well Miss … Ms …  LaSpring … I am late for an appointment.  Please leave your information with Agnes and I will get back with you as soon as possible … or you can talk to Bert Viola."

With that the elevator door dings.

"Let's go Brother."  Richie calls from the elevator.  David is gone.

Tina looks into the office and Bert has risen from his desk and recognizes her immediately.

Scene 2 - Dr. Weed's Office

Maddie is led in to the empty office by the nurse and offered coffee.  Maddie refuses.

"The doctor should be here soon.  She called about 20 minutes ago and said that she was on her way."

"Thank you."

"Please make yourself comfortable and if you need anything …"

"Nothing … thank you."

The nurse leaves.

Maddie finally removes her hand from her arm where blood was just drawn.  She checks the bandage and rolls down her sleeve.  She tries to sit but can't, so she paces.  

On the table by the door is a display of pamphlets containing information relating to every woman's health issue known to man … well doctors.  Maddie pulls one out and reads, mumbling softly to herself.

"Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) … or UMS in David-ease  … mad, tense, nervous, or sad … hungry … changes in mood … heard that … crying spells …wanting to be left alone … trouble thinking or concentrating … trouble sleeping … yadda … yadda … yadda … no cure … don't I know it?  Doesn't every woman in the world know it?   Well none of this is news."  

She laughs and replaces it.  She pulls the next one off the top of the pile.

"Mammogram … there is a fun trip to the doctor.  Mmmmm … base line at 40, huh?  Guess I can't put that off any longer."      

She reads the next one to herself.  

Menopause … around 50 … sometimes between 35 and 59 …  irregular and stop … hot flashes, night sweats, blah, blah, blah. … Nervous, moody, tired, depressed.  

"This getting older stuff is for the birds."  Again she replaces it the display and pulls another one.

Ovarian Cyst … blisters … NOT forms of cancer … no symptoms … dull ache or a feeling of fullness  …  make sex painful …

"Why don't men have all these issues?"

She pulls another one out.  

Endometriosis … grows in places other than the uterus. … Most common in women ages 20 to 40 … no complete cure … goes away after menopause … symptoms … abdominal pain … comes and goes …  pain during sex, heavy bleeding … problems getting pregnant … shows up suddenly or develops over many years.  Care and Treatment … determined by age, symptoms, and desire to get pregnant medicine to reduce the amount of estrogen … not a complete cure. … A laparoscopy … examines your internal organs for signs  … severe … hysterectomy … no guarantees a permanent cure."

She tosses the pamphlet down in disgust.  Reading those is only making her more nervous.  She paces the room and checks her watch a lot.  Her chart is sitting on the doctor's desk.  She slides her fingers across her name and then walks away.  Eventually she makes her way back to the other side of the desk and very casually opens the file, but does not pick it up.  She shakes her head … none of what she is reading makes any sense to her at all.  She flips through a couple of pages and sits down at the desk to get a better look at the file.

"So what is your diagnosis, doctor."  Dr. Weed's voice calls to her from the doorway.

Maddie looks up non-plussed at being `caught' and immediately goes back to the file.

"I don't understand what all this means."

"That's what you pay me for."

"This does not look good."

"And your years of medical training brought you to that conclusion."

"What is a laparoscopy?"

"Maddie … you are getting ahead of yourself … lets go over this from the beginning OK?"

"But I don't understand."

"Don't worry.  It's not the end of the world."

"But it's not nothing."

The doctor shakes her head slightly.  Maddie sinks back into the chair with the chart still in her hands.

Scene 3 - David's Office

Tina LaSpring is led to the couch and Bert hurries Agnes out of the room.

"Thank you Miss DiPesto.  Thank you.  I can handle this from here."  

Agnes goes reluctantly and is clearly bothered by the attention Bert is paying to Ms LaSpring.  Bert giddily sits down next to her on the couch.  

"Ms Tina LaSpring … I am a HUGE fan.  HUGE.  I've seen all your shows."

"Thank you."

"The Manilow Medley that you did was … was … nothing short of inspired."

"Thank you."

"You have not been performing for a while."

"I was … out of the country."

"You know I have a little experience with that type of entertainment myself."

"Oh really?"

"A few years back, I did a bachelor party.  I got rave reviews."

"A bachelor party?"

"Well … it was sort of last minute and the `bachelor' was actually already married and no one really liked him.  I mean he was a nice guy and all … it's complicated. My routine lasted longer than the marriage.   But anyway I was great … I came out of a cake and did LADY IS A TRAMP with the gloves and the BIG hair … the whole bit… they were eating out of my hands."

"So you are a detective by day and a female impersonator by night?"

"Oh no … it was just the one time … I'm not … you know ... I mean … I have a girlfriend … Agnes … the receptionist … she's a girl … woman … she is female."

"I understand."

"But I developed a greater appreciation for what you do.  Being a female impersonator is hard work … all that make up … the stockings … shaving …  I mean you look great … beautiful … I mean like a woman … not like a man impersonating a woman.  You must be very dedicated."

"Well … you could say that … but I am not IMPERSONATING any more."

"Excuse me?"

"This is all real now.  What you see is what you get."  

She smiles seductively and leans in to give Bert a kiss on the cheek.  Bert jumps up and moves a few feet away from her, his hands instinctively covering his jewels.

"You mean …"

"Like I said … I was OUT OF THE COUNTRY."

"Oh."  He nervously takes a few more steps away

"Does that make you … nervous?"

"NO - I mean no … should it?"

"Of course not. … It is not contagious."

Bert laughs.  "I hope not."

"So as to the reason I am here …"

"Oh yes, I am so sorry.  How can Blue Moon be of service?"

"Well, your Mr. Addison paid a visit to my mother looking for Chris DeWinter."

"Yes … do you have any information … YOUR MOTHER?  So Chris DeWinter is your brother?"

"We are closer than siblings - I am - well I WAS Chris DeWinter."

Freeze on Bert's shock

à à à  Commercial  à  à  à

Act II

Scene 1 - Richie's Car - Later That Same Morning

David looks out the window as Richie sings off key and a half a beat behind radio.

"… Before the day I met you …Life was so unkind.  You're the key to my peace of mind cause you make me feel …You make me feel … You make me feel like a natural woman … Woman..."

David looks at him and rolls his eyes.


"Don't quit your day job Rich … if you ever get one."

"Great."  Richie thinks for a moment.  "Do you ever think about Mom?"


"I mean now that you an Maddie are living together … do you ever think about Mom and Dad and their … what … RELATIONSHIP?"

David's eyes widen.  "I make a point to NOT think of Mom and Dad and their RELATIONSHIP."

"I don't mean THAT relationship."

"What are you getting at, Rich?"

"I mean … well like Amy and me … I don't know …"

"Not what you expected?"

"I expected us to fall into that COUPLE thing … like Mom and Dad … you know."

"No, I don't know."

"Come on … the mortgage, the house, the garbage, the toilet seat, the HONEY-DO list … arguing about the remote or what movie to rent on Saturday night … did I remember her birthday … our anniversary."

"Not like that, huh?"

"No.  I see less of her now that we are married than I did when we were dating."

"You married a career woman."

"I thought it would change … or at least stay the same."

"I hate to point this out to you BRO … but you and Amy have almost nothing in common with Mom and Dad or with 99.9% of the married couples in America.  Your Amy is no Donna Reed and you ain't no Carl Betz.  This is real life Rich.  It is not TV."

"What about you and Maddie?"

"We aren't TV either … at least not 50's or 60's TV."

"Are you guys gonna get married?"

"All marriage is going to do is complicate it."

"What about kids?"

"What about kids?"

"Don't you want `em?"

"This is not about me and Maddie … are you trying to tell me that Amy is pregnant?  Didn't think you had it in you son … congratulations."

"No, no, no … she's not … we're not … she doesn't want kids - well, not right now."

"Do you?"

"Yeah … I guess I want kids.  I'm just confused."


"About when kids became a DECISION, a PLAN, convenience and not something that just happened."

"Welcome to 1991 and the backlash to the Women's Movement."

"Are you and Maddie … trying?"


"Well the last time -"

"The last time was enough to kill us … hell, it did for a while … I don't think either one of us is looking forward to rushing into that fray again."

"But things are different now."

"Not that different."

They drive in silence for a moment, but Richie just can't contain himself.

"Do you think Mom and Dad planned us?"

"NO … I think YOU were a night gone wrong and I was the miracle of redemption."

"You see … that's what I mean.  What ever happened to the good old days when kids were accidents?"

David glances at his brother. "Don't do it Rich."

"What?  What do you think I am going to do?"

"Don't - that is all I have to say.  Take a left up here and I will walk the rest of the way."

"Where are you going?"

"I have to meet … someone … for a case."

Richie pulls up to the curb and David gets out.  He leans back into the car before he walks away.

"Look Rich - `accidents' are not the way to get two people together or to keep the together.  It didn't work for me with Tess or Maddie and not for one third of all marriages in America.  And you can't use Mom and Dad as a ruler.  They were from a different generation.  Just look at Dad now … he's with Stephanie, they are happy and they have no kids to show for it.  No "accident" brought them or is keeping them together."

With that he closes the door and walks away.

Richie watches after him for a moment before pulling an illegal U-Turn.

Scene 2 - David's Office

Bert lowers himself down onto the edge of the desk (it isn't that far to go).

"Bert? Mr. Viola?  Are you ok?"

"Yeah --- fine.  You are … sorry, were Chris DeWinter?"


Bert gets up and paces the room nervously.  "You need to talk to Mr. Addison or Miss Hayes."

"That is why I am here."

"Oh ... yeah … right.  Well they are out of the office …."

Tina just nods.

"You have a son."

"I do."

"You are his … father?"

"Biologically speaking … yes I am."

"He is the only child you are ever going to be able to have."

"So I have been told."

"Is that right?  I mean they didn't … they can't … I mean -" Bert gestures to his lower abdomen implying that they might have put something in when they took the other thing off.

"No … I can't … unfortunately … maybe someday … with the miracles of modern medicine."

"You know why they are looking for you?"

"I do.  My mother told me all about it."

"Your mother?  Oh yes, Rachel Kingston."  He moves his arms to imply a large person.

"Yes … my mother."  She mimics the move.

"Archer wants you to sign away your rights."

"I know.  And I can understand that.  Can't you?"

"I … I … I don't know.   I wish Mr. Addison were here."

Tina just laughs.  Bert is trying to hard NOT to be rude but just cannot help himself.

"Should I make an appointment?"  Tina offers.

"Sure … yes … an appointment … that's a good idea.  Agnes!!  AGNES!"  

Agnes jumps into the room … she has obviously been listening at the door.

"10 o'clock … tomorrow morning."  She states.

"I'll come back then."  

Tina stands up and sashays out of the room.  Agnes turns and glares at Bert.


"A greater appreciation for what you do.  " She mocks.  "What is that about?"

"You were listening?"

"You bet your butt I was listening and you have some explaining to do little man."

Freeze on Bert and Agnes.

Scene 3 - Parking Lot Outside Dr. Weed's Office

David is leaning on the car … Maddie's car … the company car … the company that he is partnered in  … with the partner that he sleuths with … lives with … loves with … fights with … makes up with.  He is waiting … waiting for her … his partner … his lover … his friend … his life.  When did she get to be his life?  Is she really his entire life?  Could he LIVE without her?  Would he want to?  Is he sure?  Is she?  When exactly was that defining moment?  Was there really ONE moment or were there a hundred little moments or just a handful of medium moments?  A handful is enough … more than … more than something is a waste … but never wasted.  

He shakes it off.  He knows the past … all 93 million miles to the sun and back.  He has relived each and every scene a hundred times over … like reruns in syndication.  He knows all the things that she did wrong … he accepts many of the things he did wrong … but no matter …  the past is past.  They have a new life together with a future.  A future!  What does their future hold?  They are just starting out … like a couple of kids … only not.  They aren't kids.  And now … now this thing … this thing with Maddie … what could their future hold?  Is their time together … limited?  Will is be cut short?  Will he have to find out if he can live without her?

David pulls the pamphlet out of his pocket.  His attention is caught by the title: "Cancer in Women."  He can't bring himself to open it.  He tosses into the garbage.  Whatever it is …

"We'll figure it out" he says aloud.  His own voice is not comforting.

We'll figure it out: A platitude or just a way to deal with reality.  David wonders if that is what his father thought the day that his Mom told him that their time was … limited.  For that matter, did he think that when they HAD to get married?  Or when number two son was on the way?    Or when they had to take the second mortgage out on the house?  Or when he told her that the thing with Phyllis was over?  Or when she told him about the growth?  Or the first time they took her home from the hospital?  Or the last time they took her back?  We'll figure it out.  

Figure - HA … figuring has nothing to do with it … it's about moving forward … or backward … or sideways … just so long as you keep moving.  The trick is to keep moving together … until death do you part.  That's what they agreed to … promised each other … vowed before God.  They … his parents … were released from their promise sooner than either of them expected.  David wonders now … years later … after all has been said and done …  if they had really understood what that vow meant on the wedding day like they understood it that morning in the hospital when the doctor told them that it was only a matter of time.  

A matter of time.  What a stupid thing to say.  That's what it is all about … it's about time … and making the best of the time that you have.  David checks his watch again.  David has always been a master at making the best of the time he has.  Checks and taps his watch again.  He has been waiting now for over an hour.  He will wait for as long as it takes.  Waiting is the best he can do with the time that he has … right now.  He wishes he had a cigarette.  

And then … all of a sudden … there she is; walking toward him with an expression that he cannot read.  Is she upset?  Happy?  Sad?  She looks healthy … She looks like she will gone on forever … She is as beautiful today as she was eight years ago when she walked into his office.  He never really notices anymore … well, he notices.  He doesn't look at other women the way he looks at her.  After all this time … getting to know her … knowing everything about her … knowing how her body moves and reacts … the ebbs, the flows … God she is beautiful … he is the only one who truly knows … more than anyone she has ever known … he knows.  Does she know that he knows?

She walks into his arms and wraps herself tightly into his waiting embrace.  There were no words, no tears, no nothing; just two people hanging onto each other.  David tries not to let his fears run away with him … he just hangs on.  Making the best of the time he has.  

Neither one of them can tell you how long they stayed like that.  It can't have been more than a minute or so … but it could have been a lifetime to David and Maddie.  

"I'm glad you are here."  She whispers.

"Nowhere else to be."

"Do we have to go back to the office?"


"We have an appointment in 45 minutes."

"I am sure Mr. Viola can handle Mr. Johnson's detecting needs."

"I'm sure he can."  She pulls back and looks him in the eyes and smiles.  "Let's go back to the office."


"I just wanted to know that we didn't have to."

"What'd she say?"

Maddie swallows hard and steels her spine before she speaks.

"She thinks it might be a cyst … but it could be more serious than that."

"How much more serious?"

"It might be endometriosis."


"OK?  Do you know what that is?"


"Well, here."  She hands him several pamphlets that were given to her by Dr. Weed. "I did the leg work for you."

He looks briefly at them, but the word CANCER does not pop out at him.  He is still confused.  "So what's the next move?"

"She took more blood and wants to wait for those results.  They should come in today or tomorrow morning. But you can't diagnose endometriosis from a blood test."

"So why --."

"She is ruling other stuff out - again.  Then she wants to schedule an ultrasound in the next day or so and depending upon what that shows, a laparoscopy for Friday."

"A lapa-what?"

"There is information in there on that.  It is outpatient surgery."


"She needs to get inside and look around … it's all in there.  I don't want --."  Her voice trails off.

He flips to one that says "LAPAROSCOPY" and nods.  

"You'll be ok after this lapa-thing?"

"I guess.  I mean it will never be cured, it can only be treated."

"But you'll be OK?"

"I'll live."  She said snidely.

"What else?"

"Not much … said that I was no spring chicken."  Maddie's brave face is firmly donned daring him to make a joke.

"She didn't say that."

"I'm paraphrasing … She said that she wants me to start taking birth control pills … immediately.  It will help with whatever is going on.  She wants to give my body a rest.  … And -"

"And? … Come on Maddie … and what?"

"AND … She said that if I wanted to have a baby that I better start planning it sooner than later."

"A baby?"

"Yeah … a baby."

"Ok."  David looks away nervously.

"OK?  David, I am not getting any younger and there are no guarantees.  If it is endometriosis … even a mild case … I may have trouble conceiving."

"We'll figure it out ."  He takes a deep breath.  "That's all?"

"Isn't that enough?"

"More than … just want to make sure we have all the facts, Jack."

"Facts?  So glad I rushed to get this news."

"I am."

He pulls her back into a very tight embrace, buries his face in her hair and breathes in deeply.  This is not the news he was expecting.  He can't begin to explain what she just told him didn't matter… it is not cancer … it is not life threatening.  Certain roads might be barred to them … but their time together is not in jeopardy.

"We'll figure it out … we've got time."  He tightens his hold and she stiffens.

Freeze on David face over her shoulder.

à à à  Commercial  à  à  à

Scene 1 - Maddie's Office - Monday Afternoon

David and Maddie escort Mr. Johnson out.

"We'll be in touch Mr. Johnson."  Maddie shakes his hand.

"Thank you.  I can't impress upon you enough the need for discretion."

"Discretion is our middle name."  David takes his hand and leads him toward the door.  

"We understand."  Maddie adds.

"I look forward to your call."

Mr. Johnson leaves.

"Discretion is our middle name."  She mocks.

"What?  I can be discreet … I can … you wanna see discreet?"  

David grabs her around the waist and starts to lead her back into the office.

"Hold our calls Miss DiPesto … we'll be … in conference … for the rest of the day."

"The soul of discretion."

"Mr. Addison …  Miss Hayes … I need to speak with you."  Bert has been chomping at the bit since they came back to the office.

"Not now Viola … need to confer with Miss Hayes here-"

"What can we do for you, Mr. Viola?"

"I would like to go over my meeting with Tina LaSpring with you both."

"Who is Tina LaSpring?"  Maddie asks and David shrugs.

"Well … she is … it has to do with … can we talk in private?"

Bert gives a quick look to Agnes, who is glaring at him.

"You should take it behind closed doors."  Agnes offers.  "This laundry stinks."

Maddie and David roll their eyes and go into her office.  David takes a seat on the desk and Maddie in her chair.  Bert paces in front of them.

"Alone at last Bertie Boy … wha-chu got?"

"Well you see sir ... ma'am … well … um … it is like this …Archer … the guy from Ohio … well he has us looking for Chris DeWinter … and well there is no … I mean … well … there was … but … now --"

"Why don't you start with Tina LaSpring?"  Maddie tries to help.

"Oh no … it ends with Tina LaSpring.  That is the end … the last part … the denouement … the epilogue … if you will."


"Tina LaSpring is Chris DeWinter."

Maddie and David look at each other.  Maddie leans back her chair.

"OK Mr. Viola … start at the beginning."

"Ok … when you left today Mr. Addison?  You passed her in the hallway."

David shrugs.  He does not remember passing anyone in the hallway.

"If you say so."

"Well … Chris DeWinter is the father of Linda Sparks' baby … the one that Miles Archer says is NOT the father … but has his name on the birth certificate … anyway … he wants us to find this Chris DeWinter so that he can sign over his rights to the kid."

"We know all this Bert."

"Well the thing is we will never find Chris DeWinter … because he no longer exists … I mean he EXISTS but he … she is going by the name of Tina LaSpring."

"I see."  David says.

"You do?"  Maddie counters.

"Don't you?  DeWinter has turned to LaSpring."

Maddie rolls her eyes turns her attention back to Bert.  "Mr. Viola … how can Chris DeWinter be Tina LaSpring?"

Viola continues.  "Well … he … he always was Tina LaSpring … and damn good at it too."

"Excuse me?"

"That was his stage name … he's a headliner at the Pink Triangle … he is … rather was … or still is one of the top five female impersonators in the world."

"The Pink Triangle?" Maddie asks.

"Oh yeah … I know that place … it's suppose to have a great drag show."  David offers.


"I've never been there … but you hear these things.  I guess the place is kind of a dump though."  David says doing a nice back pedal.

"It's actually very nice … don't let the outside fool you.  Very classy on the inside."  Bert informs.

"Oh ho … Mr. Viola … where have you been spending your nights?"  David smiles.

"Guess we are getting to the dirty laundry part."  Maddie nods toward the door.

"I have been there once … well maybe twice … for a case … research."

"Please go on Mr. Viola … about Tina LaSpring/Chris DeWinter."  Maddie gets them back on track.

"Well now Chris DeWinter really is Tina LaSpring … officially … technically … biologically … "

"Got any of those Advil left, Maddie?"  David asks.

"He … well, she has been out of the country … you know … OUT OF THE COUNTRY … and …"

"Came back with a different passport?"  David offers.

"Exactly."  Bert sinks down into the chair finally feeling that he has been understood.

"David?"  Maddie still does not get it.

"Well, Maddie my dear … not to be INDISCREET … but it would appear that our Chris DeWinter … left the country … lets say for … mmmm … Denmark? … and when he came back he was no longer a he … he was a she."

Maddie still looks a little confused.

"Had some equipment removed … is a sitter not a stander anymore?"

"Oh."  She gets it.  "That certainly is throwing yourself into your work."

"How does that work … can you still be a drag queen if you no longer have the drag to be a queen?  Mmmmm … who can we ask about that?"  David muses.

"What else Mr. Viola?"  Maddie ignores him.

"Not sure I can take any more."  David grins.

"She has an appointment for tomorrow morning at 10 AM."

David wraps his arm around Bert's shoulders and leads him to the door.

"Good work Viola … there will be a little something extra in you paycheck this week … don't blow it all on tips for the `ladies'."

Maddie and David are alone again.

"Curious-er and curious-er."

"I still don't like this case."

"Really?  It's just getting interesting."

Scene 2 - The Pink Triangle - Evening

Tina LaSpring is alone in her dressing room.  She is putting on her stage make up - and there is A LOT.  There is a knock on the door and Rachel Kingston lumbers in without waiting for a response and heaves herself down onto the first seat available.



"Here for the show?"


"So why are you here?  This isn't your neighborhood."

"Did you talk to those detectives?"

"Tomorrow morning … 10 AM."

"You can't sign Andrew over to Sparks."

"Linda is his mother … he's not being sold into white slavery."

"MOTHER?  HA … She abandoned him when he was three weeks old."

"Postpartum … She was young … and scared.  She loves Andrew."

"By stealing him away from his father and grandmother?"

Tina breathes a heavy sigh.  "Mom … Mamma … we have been over this … her father is not going to give up."

"We'll never know … you won't fight."

"Mamma, I can't fight him.  He has too much money and I will not drag my son through a sordid custody battle.  I won't make him chose.  It's not fair."

"Not fair to who?  I dedicated myself to that little boy for five years.  We were a family.  He loves me as much as I love him.  What do you think he thinks happened to us?"

"Mamma … stop."

"You can't pretend like I don't exist ... like I don't have something to say in all of this."

"I know you do Mamma.  Believe I KNOW and I have heard every word."

"This is wrong Chris.  This is wrong.  I don't know how you turned out the way you did … gay and all … but I have learned to live with it.  And now my son is my daughter … and I will learn to live with that … you are my blood … I brought you into this world and I would never … NEVER turn my back on you."

"Oh right, like the ONE WAY TICKET to OHIO was loving and accepting."

"Don't you dare blame this on me."

"It's not about blame."

"I didn't raise you to turn your back on your family either."

"I'm not turning my back on Andrew!  Maybe when he is older ... when it can be his choice."

"If you sign your rights away … that's it.  Do you think he would ever forgive you for that when he is 18 … 25 … 65?"

"Mom … Mamma … this is not about what I want or what you want.  This is about a little boy, a six, almost seven-year old boy.  He has already been yanked from one home and dragged half way across the country.  Do you know how hard it was for him?  Do you remember the screaming and crying?  Well I won't do that to him … not again … never again."

"So you are just going to give up?"

"What do you want me to do?  No judge in the world is going to give me visitation much less custody… not with the lies that Sparks told.  And now that I'm not FATHER material..."

"You don't know that."

"Mom … I do.  And you do too.  They will say I am unstable on top of everything else.  The fact that I am co-owner of a club, have been in a committed relationship for five years, have money in the bank and have been saving for Andrew's college since before he was born will mean nothing.  NOTHING.  They don't give kids to transsexuals.  Even if he is mine."

Tina gets up and goes to the bathroom. She needs to be out of the room and to stop the tears from ruining her make up.  Tina looks at her mother's reflection in the mirror and shakes her head sadly.

Freeze on Rachel and Tina in the mirror.

Scene 3 - Hayes/Addison Bedroom - Monday Night

Maddie is lying on the bed with her back to the door.  She does not see David poke his head in.  She is too focused on her phone call.

"You are? … You are? … That's fantastic."   Maddie runs her hand through her hair.  "Why did I call?  I just wanted to hear your voice.  … No, nothing is wrong Mom. … I am sure.  No … no … will you stop.  David and I are fine … better than fine.  Yes Mother … I know you TOLD ME SO."

David chooses not to bother her … but does not want to leave either.  He sinks to the floor in the hallway and listens.  He knows he shouldn't … but how else is he going to hear what is really going on in her mind?

"Well there is one thing. … I went to the doctor today … she is concerned … no nothing like that … just … well … I'm fine … really … no … NO … I don't want you to come out here  … I mean yes I would LOVE you to come for a visit but not for this. … Well she thinks it might be endometriosis.  … I know … I know … … … … … … … … no it is not that severe … … … … a milder case … … … … … …."

Maddie gets up and starts pacing the room as she listens to her Mother's comments.  

"… … … … … … … … … … You are probably right … no I am sure you are … thank you … yes, yes I am … well … well … she said it might be difficult for me to conceive or carry to term."  

Maddie starts to tear up and moves the mouthpiece away from her mouth so her mother will not hear.  

"… … … … … … … … … … Yeah … I mean, yes … I always assumed that I would … No we haven't … I don't know … the last time was … I know … I know ... but … Mom I am not sure I could live though that again … I am not sure either one of us could. … I know … I know … I know … you're right of course … well … yes … what if I can't … I can't ask him to … Yes … Five years and that is only chronologically … Of course I do. … but … we could … but I'm not ready … he's not ready … Well, I don't know that for sure … but at the very least WE're not ready… I know because I know.  … Because we would have talked about it a year ago when… Yes, I know we should … looks like now we will have to … Mom we just started living together … well I thought we would have a little more time … yes that is what I want … time … I want more time … No … no … no … no … would you stop? … Of course I do, but it's not that simple … Well we've got at least six months.  Dr. Weed wants me on the pill to give my body a rest … it might be … it could be … who knows … four months ago neither one of us thought about living together so who knows what could change in the next six … the whole thing could be moot …  No, it is good … really … better than I thought it would be … well you saw when you were out here this summer. … right … Mom …  Oh hey … I've got to go and it's getting late there, you should be in bed … I will … as soon as I know anything different … Ok … I love you too … I will … My love to Dad … good night … thanks for being there."

Maddie hangs up the phone and after a long thoughtful moment; she calls for David.  He is still on the floor in the hallway.  She moves to the hallway and stands over him.

"How long have you been sitting here?"

"A while."

"Did you get an earful?"

"Heard enough."

"You know if I were in a different mood I would take you down a peg or FIVE for that."

"If you were in a different mood, I would have gone downstairs and watched the game."

"So you think you know me now."

David laughs.  "Lady, I could know you for the next 100 years and I still wouldn't know you … but I know you better than anyone else … including yourself."

"You think so, huh?

"Talk to me Maddie."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know … something."

"Alright ... how about this … I HATE that this is happening to me … I HATE that I have to think about this … I HATE that I still feel like a young woman and by body is telling me that I am not. … I HATE that I may have missed my only chance for a ba- … I just hate it …  is that SOMETHING enough for you?"

"Well … that certainly is something. Can I just say one thing?"

"Only one?"

"This is not just happening to you."

Maddie shakes her head and retreats back into the bedroom with a decided close of the door.

Freeze on David on the floor in the hall.

à à à  Commercial  à  à  à

Act IV
Scene 1 - Maddie's Office - Tuesday Morning

Maddie is flipping through paper work on her desk.  She is not really paying much attention.  There is a soft knock on the door.

"Come in."

"Miss Hayes?"

"Is David back yet?"

"No Ma'am."

"Why are men so predictable?"

"Are they?"

"Hit one little bump in the road, or God forbid a dip … and the whole thing is hanging on a thread."

"It is?"

"It is always about them.  What they want.  What they HAVE to have.  And how quickly can they get out of it."

"Out of it?"

"I knew I never should have … well it won't happen to Maddie Hayes.  I am taking the higher road.  I'll release him."


"What did you want, Agnes?"

"Cecilia Stansfield is here."

"Ceci?  Great."

Maddie gets up to greet her friend.

"Hi, Maddie.  I hope I am not disturbing you."

"Not at all.  Please sit down.  Can I get you something?"

"No, I am fine.  I just wanted to stop in since I was in town for the morning."

"I'm so glad you did."

"Chloe and Marcus really enjoyed the Bar-b-que."

"It was fun."

"Miranda hasn't stopped talking about David.  I think you may have a little competition."

"Well, she may get him."  Maddie's feigned smile is not covering up for her old friend.

"What is going on Maddie?"

"Going on?"  

"You look a little … I don't know … Sad? Mad? Certainly not glad."

"I'm not glad … but I'm not the one who is sad or mad."


"The cad?"  Maddie laughs.  "He's not talking to me … well I mean … we are not NOT talking … he pulled a disappearing act … He's been gone all morning."

"All morning?  It is only 9:15 … I don't understand."

"He left around 4 or 4:30 this morning."

"He didn't say anything?"

"He said something about finding the perfect croissant and that's all I remember."

"The perfect croissant?"  

"Has to be `perfect.'  Can't have anything less than perfect."

"Did you two fight?"

"When do we not …but this is a classic case of David and me NOT fighting; which is a hundred times worse."

"What happened?"

"Events happen … out of our control events … then we don't talk and one of us leaves."


"I guess I can't blame him."

"Blame him?  What are you talking about? WHAT EVENTS?"

"I saw Dr. Weed.  Apparently she thinks I have endometriosis."

"Oh honey, I'm sorry.  Why is that a problem for David?"

"The doctor INTIMATED that I might not be able to have a baby."

"I see.  So David wants kids?"  

"Who knows what David wants?  But what future is there for us?  It's better that we end it now before any more damage is done."


"Well … when I told him he had nothing to say … something about figuring it out … and we have barely spoken since.  Suppose he is "figuring out" how to end it."

"Honey, stop.  So you two have barely spoken?  Did you try to talk to him about this?"

"Of course … well, no  … I mean … I told you that talking is not our forte.  What is there to talk about anyway?"

"I have heard of throwing the baby out with the bath water … if you'll forgive the reference … but this is absurd."

"How can you say that?"

"Maddie you are talking about a relationship that as withstood some really terrible things.  I know marriages that have disintegrated for less.  But you think that your only option now is to END the relationship … for David's own good … because you THINK that you MIGHT not be able to have a baby."

"Shouldn't I?  It only seems fair."

"I think FAIR would be to put all the cards on the table and talk about it."


"Come on Maddie.  You're being ridiculous."

"How?  How is loving him enough to let him go … letting him have the life he wants … how is that ridiculous?"

"There are so many things wrong with your logic I don't even know where to begin."

"You want me to force a man to stay with me knowing that --."

"Wait … wait … wait.  Maddie … wait.  Endometriosis is not the end of your life … is the doctor sure that that is what it is?"

"Well … no."

"Has she told you that you definitely CAN'T conceive or carry to term?"

"Not yet … but that is just timing.  You, yourself said --"
Ceci shakes her head decisively.  "No, you need to talk to David."

"Talk to David about what?"    David's voice breaks into the room and both women jump.  Maddie recovers first.

"About going up next weekend for dinner."

"No … she hasn't."  He hugs Cecilia and kisses Maddie on the temple.  "But I think we will be lying low for the next week or so."

"Lying low?"

Maddie shakes her head and Ceci knows that it is time to go.  She checks her watch and jumps up.

"Oh my, would you look at the time?  I have to go.  Maddie call me tonight or tomorrow."  

"I will."  

"Good to see you again David."

"And you … say hello to Chloe, Marcus and the kids for us will you?"

"It will make Miranda's day."

Cecilia is gone.  David turns his attention back to Maddie.  "So … what was that all about?"

"What was what all about?"

"Talk to me about what?"

"About where you were.  Where were you?"

"The Johnson case?  The pastry predicament?  Partners keeping secrets? Stealing recipes?  The ultimate jelly donut landing in the wrong hands and breaching national security?  5AM flour delivery?  Blue Moon the soul of discretion?  Any of this ringing a bell?"

"You went without me?"

"You didn't want to go."

"When did I say that?"

"This morning."

"This morning?  You said something about a craving for Dunkin' Donuts."


"Do you honestly think I would let you go alone on a stakeout?"

"How am I supposed to know what is going on in that blonde brain of yours, you guard it like Fort Goldi-Knox."

"Admit it … you didn't want me to go with you."

"Why would I admit to anything like that …even if it were true?"

"You didn't want me there."

"Oh I wanted you there … it was dark and warm and the aroma of fresh baked bread has always been an aphrodisiac for me."  He moved toward her.

"Stop it."

"Stop what."

"Just stop it!"  Maddie pulls away roughly.

"Are we fighting because I let you sleep in?"

"No we are fighting about something else."

"Do I know what it is?"

"You know full well what it is."

"Guess I need to re-read the script."

Agnes knocks on the door and waits.  She knocks again.

"Who is it?"  He calls in a singsong voice.

"Agnes … DiPesto."  She chirps back.

"Agnes is not here."  David jokes.

"What is it Agnes?"  Maddie ends the play.

"Tina LaSpring is here."

"Send her in."

"Send her into my office Agnes.  Miss Hayes and I will be there in a moment."

Maddie glares at David.

"As not to confuse an already confusing issue … there is another surveillance tonight … the bakery … it starts at 11PM and could go `til dawn … interrupting your redundant beauty sleep … clothing is black or in your case optional … includes binoculars, listening devices and all the bad coffee you can keep down … it would be MY HONOR to escort you."



"Fine.  We have a client waiting."

"So are we still fighting?"

"Yes." Maddie sails through the door.   David looks at the readers.

"What?  I just work here."


Scene 2 - David's Office - 10:08 AM

David opens the door to see Tina LaSpring standing there with no make up, no nail polish, no jewelry, jeans, and sneakers, T and over shirt and hair stuffed up under a ball cap.  For all intents and purposes she's a he.  

"Hello … I am Tina LaSpring aka Chris DeWinter."

David studies her to see the her in him or the him in her.  Maddie pushes him out of the way.

"Maddie Hayes … and this is David Addison.  Please sit down."

The women sit down on the couch and David sits on the edge of his desk, out of the way.

"I understand you have been looking for me."  

"We have been asked to find you, yes."

"No need …let's just cut to the chase, shall we?  Do you have the papers that Sparks wants me to sign or do I have to contact him?"

"We have them."  Maddie offers.

"Then let me sign them and we can all go on with our lives."

"Miss LaSpring … are you sure you want to do that?"

"No … yes … I am going to sign them."   She pulls out a cigarette and lights it.  "The sooner the better."

"Have you talked about this with anyone?"  Maddie asks.

"Me talk?  There is no one that will shut up long enough to listen … my mother, my hus - partner, the girl at the checkout at Pavilion's.  They all have opinions … but none of them can possibly understand."

"I was actually thinking about a lawyer."  

Tina shakes her head.  "I refuse to drag that kid through a custody battle.  I won't do it."

"There is a big difference between a custody battle and signing your rights away."

"Not that big … not when Jack Sparks is involved."

"Why don't you tell us … from the beginning … we have heard your mother's version of the events and a completely different version from Miles Archer."

"Archer … what a loser.  Does that man belong in a Bogart film or what?"

"Exactly what I said."  David helps.

"Look … Rehashing the past is not useful.  Going over things and beating them into the ground is a waste of time.  Things are as they are and it really doesn't matter how they got that way.  All that is important is that Andrew grows us happy."

"Why does it mean that you have to give him up?"  David asks gently.  "Why is it all or nothing?"  

"Mr. Addison … put yourself in Andrew's place.  He is a seven year-old boy … he was taken away from his father and grandmother when he was four and neither one of us has been allowed to see him.  To be honest we did not try that hard, but 2000 miles is a long way to go for an hour in the park.  We've called and written and sent presents … none of which have gotten through.  So for the past three years he has been living with his mother … a good woman who loves him dearly.  I know his new father; also a very good man.  He has brothers and a sister.  He is part of a family … a Rockwell family.  You think I should fight to push myself into that family portrait?"

"I suppose you have a point.  Kids have a hard enough time growing up without having to explain to their friends why their father -."

"Has breasts?"  Tina finishes David's thought.  


"It's alright Miss Hayes; nothing that hasn't gone through my own head.  The truth of the matter was that Andrew always saw me this way.  He didn't know any differently."

The three are silent for a moment.

"Shouldn't Andrew have a choice?"  David asks gently.

"That is exactly what I don't want.  I don't want him to have to choose.  He's seven. He'll be making choices soon enough in life … he doesn't need to start now."  

"But to give him up…"  

"Do you have children Mr. Addison?"

David shakes his head and looks down.  Maddie watches him intently.

"Well … when you do … you will know what it means when parents say that they will give their life for their child.  I only want the best for him.  The best for him is to grow up in a loving two-parent home … something that I never had.  Believe me he will thank me for it rather than send me his shrink bills."

"So why can't you and his mother `figure' this out?"  Maddie asks.

"This is not about Linda and me … you know that right?"


"The Pontiac King is behind this.  Linda would never ask me to give up my rights to Andrew.  The last time I spoke with her … about two years ago … we were talking about joint custody … but Daddy Dearest nixed those plans."

"But I thought ---."

"I am sure you did.  I'll bet Archer's version said that I kidnapped her and stole her baby.  And my mother's of course was her playing the saving angel to Linda's wretched harlot.  Neither of which is true."

"What is true?"

Tina took a long drag off her cigarette and waited for a moment.

"This is information that you don't need to have but what the hell.  Linda was my best friend.  Better than my family.  Blood is not always thicker than water.  Anyway, she helped me settle after my mother banished me and sent me to live with my father.  I forgave her in time.  You see, in a fit of honesty, I came out to my mother and she thought that if I had MORE male guidance I would be NORMAL."

Tina laughs and David does too.  Maddie doesn't see the humor.

"Dad was not happy having his GAY son who acted more like a daughter move in and ruin his new life with wife number three - Miss Big Boobs and an IQ of a house plant.  Anyway …Linda was always there for me.  And I was there for her.  Her father was not a very nice man … Linda was his prize Pontiac.  He would have preferred her to stay in the garage and only come out on Sundays for a wax job.  Anyway … one night in our sophomore year … we were drunk and talking about sex … gay vs. straight and one thing lead to another.  It was awful … for the both of us … but we created Andrew that night and I will always love her for that.  I was there for her every step of the way: from morning sickness through postpartum.  And I understood why she needed to go back home.  I had four wonderful years with that little boy --"  Tina stops talking.  She is choked up.  "I also understand why she needed to get him back.  A mother's love … I understand."

"But to give him up ---."

"It's for his own good.  I need to put his needs above my own.  That's what real love is."

Freeze on Maddie and David looking in opposite directions

Scene 3 - Maddie's Office - Later

David enters yawning.

"I am headed home to get some sleep before tonight.  Wanna join me?  `Course then, we won't be getting much sleep."

Maddie is looking out the window, ignoring David.  He picks up the some legal documents on Maddie's desk and shakes his head before tossing them back down.

"I suppose he/she has a point."  He offers.

Maddie finally realizes that David is in the room.


"Tina LaSpring… custody battles tend to get really ugly … and this one has Jerry Springer written all over it."

"So you think she should remove herself from his life?"  Maddie challenges.

"Well -"

"You think that just because things are a little messy and hard that there is a reason to bail on another person."

"I didn't say that."

"That person - Chris or Tina - is his father."

"Who wears lipstick and a dress … not really GOOD courtroom presentation."


"The issue is not if Chris … Tina … whoever is a good father … parent … it's about what the justice system decides is in the best interest of the child."

"And you think --."

"I don't make the rules Maddie.  Chris DeWinter fathered that kid … and Tina LaSpring did not."

"So people aren't allowed to change … evolve … grow in relationships?"

"Marking a different box on the gender question is a little more than growing, Maddie."

"Tina LaSpring is still the same person."

"No Maddie, she is not … and that is the material point.  Different name, different drivers license, different bathroom habits."

"There is no talking to you."

"What are we doing now?"

"So you think I should send those papers back to Archer along with our bill and close the case."

"It is not our case Maddie.  We did what we were supposed to do.  We should be paid for it."

"It's that simple for you.  Just cut and run.  Cash the check.  Close the book.  Get out while the getting is good."

"What are we talking about?"

The phone buzzes.  And Maddie glares at David, who reaches over to answer it.

"Need to work on your timing, Corporal Radar O'Pesto. … Who? … Thank you."  He hangs up and looks gently at Maddie.  "Dr. Weed, line one."

Maddie goes over to pick up the phone.  David does not move away.

"Yes Dr. Weed.  … Ok … Ok … Friday … Ok … thank you for calling."

She hangs up the phone and sinks into her chair.


"Nothing conclusive … ultrasound tomorrow and the laparoscopy is scheduled for Friday at two."

They pause in silence for a moment.

"I am going home to get some sleep before the surveillance tonight."  Maddie states.

"Good idea … can I join you?"

"Do you want to?"

"No place I would rather be than in your bed with you in it."  

Her look softens.  "I need to finish a couple of things here first.  Can you give me 15 minutes."

"Take all my minutes.  I'll be in my office when you're ready."  He turns to leave and spies the legal papers on her desk again.  "I'll give these to Agnes to mail out."


Freeze on Maddie's sad face

Blue Moon Outer Office

David walks through the outer office to his, after gently closing Maddie's door.  

"Agnes … I need the Archer file."


"DeWinter, Archer, Sparks, LaSpring … whatever."

"Yes sir.  Jamie, could you ask Mr. I've-got-a-secret Viola to bring me the Sparks file?"

David looks back and sees everyone roll there eyes.  Bert looks sheepish.

"Ok ... you two in my office … NOW."

The three adjourn to David's office.  

"OK … love birds … how long have you two not been singing in two part harmony?"


"Did you share the sheets last night?"

"Kept company with Home Shopping Channel, sir."  Bert says.

"How much did you spend?"

Bert mumbles.

"Again for the mumbling impaired."


Agnes has a look of victory.  "On women's clothing no doubt."

"OK … I don't want to know the details … I mean I really don't want to hear the details.  But you two have to talk.  Talking it what it is all about."

"Is this one of your do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do speeches, Mr. Addison?"

"Agnes … love you like a sister … but I don't have a sister … so I am going to let that go.  Figure it out.  Go home and figure it out and I don't want to see you back here until you do. Capisch?!"

"Yes, Sir."


Agnes and Bert leave.  

David opens the file and flips through some pages.  Finally he finds what he is looking for and picks up the phone and dials.

Freeze on the legal papers on the desk.

à à à  Commercial  à  à  à

Act V
Scene 1 - In The Car - Thursday Morning

David is driving and Richie is in the passenger seat.  Richie looks like he has been up all night, has a black eye and a cut on his cheek.  There are bloodstains on his shirt.  He looks like he has been on the wrong end of a fist, several fists or the same one repeatedly.

"Sorry I couldn't get here sooner Bro.  We don't keep that kind of cash in the house."

"It's OK.  Did you get a hold of Amy?"

"Not yet.  I guess the phone lines are down in New York."

"She is probably working.  She often stays at the law library all night.  It is a really important case."

"Yeah ... that must be it."  David rolls his eyes.  "So tell me what happened.  All I got from the cops was that you picked a fight with the ride operator on the Colossus?"

"I didn't pick the fight.  I said that I needed to be in the front seat … it was my job… she said …"

"SHE?  You hit a girl?"

"I didn't hit her … didn't have a chance.  She was fast … you know ... wiry.  She must have taken some judo class or something."  He looks back at David.  "I never touched her."

"So you are banned from Six Flags?"


"So I guess that little endeavor is down the tubes."

"Thanks for your support brother."

"$1,500 bail is very supportive."  

"You'll get it back.

"It is amazing that I turned out so well with a role model like you."

"Showed you all the paths NOT to go down.  So what are the plans for the weekend?  Amy will still be in New York."

"Maddie and I will be lying low."

"What does that mean?"

"She is having a … a procedure done on Friday and will not be moving around for a couple of days."

"So it can be a boys' weekend … we can go drinking and carousing … like old times."

"We never went carousing Richie."

"We can start now."

"No can do … gonna stay in."

"You'd rather play nursemaid to Maddie?"

"Just want to be there if she needs anything."

"What kind of PROCEDURE is this … is she having her wisdom teeth out or is she finally getting her nose fixed?"

"What?  There is nothing wrong with her nose."

"Just a little nip and tuck around the eyes … she is looking a little baggy.  I suppose everyone woman has to get older."

"RICHIE."  He snaps.

"It's ok … they are making amazing strides in cosmetic surgery these days.  Hell, they'll be able to keep her looking 30 until she is 60.  You'll probably never have to trade her in on a new model … new model … hey that's funny."

"And people call ME a sexist."

"So tell me … what's she having done?"

"It's a woman thing … you know."

"Oh … Oh … Oh … you mean … Oh… is it serious?"

David shrugs.

"But it's not nothing."

"Yeah.  Well … no … I mean …how the hell should I know?"  

"But you're gonna stick close."

"As close as she will let me … closer if I get a chance."

Freeze on David
Blue Moon Office - Late Morning

Bert and Agnes are in a huddle by the desk.  They are smiling and whispering and generally acting like two people in love.  Maddie calls for Agnes from her office three times and Agnes does not hear.  Finally Maddie comes to the doorway.

"Miss DiPesto."

Agnes and Bert move in perfect synchronization to look at Maddie.

"Yes, ma'am."

"I have been calling you for the past three minutes."

"I'm sorry I did not hear you."

"It's my fault Miss Hayes.  Miss DiPesto and I were just going over -"

"I know exactly what you were going over.  Didn't you two get that out of your system yesterday?  I thought that was why you took off."

"Miss Hayes…"

"Never mind, Agnes could your TEAR yourself away long enough to help for a few minutes?"

"Yes Ma'am."  Agnes slowly walks toward Maddie's office and only lets go of Bert's hand at the very last moment.

Inside Maddie's Office

"What a man."  Agnes sighs as she leans her head against the closed door.

"Mr. Viola?"

"He is so sensitive … and very talented … and-"

"Agnes - please.  Can we focus here?  I will be out tomorrow and all next week and there are some things that I need you to do."

"I've got it covered Miss Hayes.  Mr. Addison has already given us our assignments."

"Mr. Addison?  What assignments?"

"We are to handle everything as if you two were making the decisions.  We are to take NO NEW cases, file, dust and otherwise stay busy and we are not to call, contact or otherwise disturb either one of you for the entire week."

"Either one of us?"

"Mr. Addison said he was going with you."

"Going with me?  Where am I going?"

"He didn't say … but I thought maybe you were going to Chicago - you know like last time."

"Chicago?  Last time?"

"Yeah … you know … with all these visits and calls from Dr. Weed.  I thought maybe …"

Maddie realizes that Agnes thinks that she is pregnant.

"Oh.  Did Mr. Addison say that?"

"No … Mr. Addison was very cryptic.  That's what clinched it for me."

"I am not going to Chicago.  And I am not --- you know."


"I am having a procedure done tomorrow and I will be … convalescing for a week."

"A procedure?  Are you having your wisdom teeth taken out?"


"OH … I get it … you are having something worked on.  Your nose?  Or is it just a little nip and tuck?"

"Agnes … what is wrong with my nose?"


"I really don't want this to get around so …"

"Mums the word, Miss Hayes."

"I am having a laparoscopy."

"OH? … OH … are you alright?  What is going on?  Miss Hayes are you---."

"This is exploratory … the doctor thinks I have endometriosis."

"Oh my God."

"Agnes … it's not the end of the world.  I will be fine.  It is just I need to do some things to reduce the symptoms."

"Like what things?"

"Well this laparoscopy will … help and birth control pills, eating right, exercise … you know all that stuff that we are supposed to be doing anyway."

"Miss Hayes forgive me … but you don't sound like this is not a big deal."   

"It is .. I mean it's not …It's OK."

"I don't know a lot about this thing … this endow-whatever … but I know it can be bad … and I know some women have to have the whole shooting match removed."

"No … Agnes … no one … not the doctor or anyone has suggested that I have to do that."

"But it is more difficult to get pregnant, isn't it?"

"Yes … yes it is.  That's what they say."

"But if you can … that also helps with the symptoms. Right?"

"I suppose so."

"How are you going to have a baby if you are taking birth control pills?"

"Let me get through the next day or so.  Then decisions can be made about what to do with the rest of it."

"Don't you and Mr. Addison want to have a baby?"

"I think … I don't know … sometimes yes and sometimes I wonder why we are still together."

"You know the answer to that better than anyone."

"I do?"

Freeze on Maddie
Scene 2 - Maddie's Office - Late Afternoon

Maddie is doing the payroll for the next day.  There is a knock on her door and Agnes pokes her head in.

"Miss Hayes, Tina LaSpring is here."

"Ms LaSpring?  Send her in."

Tina enters.  She is dressed very differently than she was two days before.  She is wearing a sundress with a matching jacket, her hair is softly flowing over her shoulders, heels and all the accessories are matched perfectly.

"Ms LaSpring, how can I help you?"

"Help me?  You called me down here."

"I did?"

"Well your partner did."

"David?  I don't understand."

"He called me yesterday and asked me to be here precisely at 3PM.  I'm a little early."

"Well, I'm sorry David is not here.  I do expect him back at any moment."

"Well, I have an appointment at 4 so if he is not here in 10 minutes I will have to go."

David walks into the office without knocking.

"Ms LaSpring.  Thank you for coming.  I am sorry I am late.  Traffic in LA is only getting worse."

"What is going on here David?"

"There is someone here who would like to speak with you."  David opens the door and a young pretty woman enters.



They embrace.  Maddie looks at David who has been watching Maddie since he entered.

"What are you doing here?"  Tina asks.

"I am returning these."  She pulls out the papers that Tina signed a few days ago.  They have been ripped in half.  "What in God's name were you thinking?"

"I want the best for Andrew."

"Don't be ridiculous.  You know what is best for Andrew … and signing over your rights is not it."

"But your father is relentless … "

"I have handled my father."  She smiles.  "It took me a long time to grow up but Daddy is no longer calling the shots."

In the doorway can be seen a young man (Linda's husband) holding a little boy's hand.


The little boy screams and runs to Tina who scoops him up into her arms and hugs him as tightly as she could.  David leans over to Maddie and whispers.

"They may want to rethink the DADDY calling."

Linda turns to David and Maddie.  "Thank you for contacting me Mr. Addison."  David nods.  "I have spoken with my father.  He won't be bothering you anymore."  She pulls a check out of her purse.  "You are paid in full … with a very sizable bonus."

David whistles when he looks at the check.

"Ought to be about to pick up a nice TransAm with that."

Linda takes her husband's hand and turns her attention back to Tina and Andrew.  David and Maddie leave this Modern Rockwell family alone.

Freeze on Tina and Andrew
Scene 3 - Hayes/Addison Bedroom - Night

David is lying on the bed flipping through a Vogue magazine … one of the thirty or so magazines he has picked up to help with her convalescence.  Maddie enters from the bathroom.

"That was a very nice thing you did today, Addison."

He does not look up.  "Yeah … that's me Mr. Nice Guy."

"Why'd you do it?"

"I don't know … it seemed like if everyone else would leave Tina and Linda and the husband alone … they would just work out."

"Well they did."

"It's still gonna be hard on that kid … but what the hell …"

Maddie sits on the edge of the bed brushing her hair.

"Well … it was a very nice thing you did."

"You have heard of the David Addison ONE ROOM Mediation Theory."

"Excuse me?"

"It's famous."

"Infamous … do tell."

"Well it is like this:  get the two people involved in any disagreement into a room and keep them there until they work it out."

"Just any room?"

"Well I have my personal favorite … but --"

"But THAT room wouldn't have worked in Tina's case."

"What about THIS CASE?"  He closes the magazine.

"What THIS?"

"You and me."

"We've got something to work out?"


"I don't mind … I love working out the kinks with you."




"What what?  You have been upset with me for days."

"I have?"

"You have."

"I'm not upset with you."

"Just around me?"

"Well … we haven't really discussed what is going to happen after tomorrow."

"You're going to rest."

"I don't mean that … I mean--."


"What if I can't … I mean there is a possibility that we can't …"

"OH … Is that what you have been stressing about for the last few days?"  

She looks away.  He sits up and slides over closer to her.  "We'll figure it out, Maddie."

"That's it.  That is all you have to say."

"What do you want me to say? … It's all speculation right now … so … when the facts are in we will decide what to do … when the time comes."

"When the time comes?  So we are not going to talk about it now I guess."  

She gets up to leave and he stops her.

"I'm not ready for that discussion right now… are you?"

"I wasn't but if it is now or never --- I'd rather push up the time line than lose the chance …"

"Maddie …it'll be ok … as long as we keep … as long as we are together to figure it out."

"How can you live like that?"

"Very easily.  You ought to try it."

"You know things could have gone very badly today for Tina and Linda and especially Andrew."

"They could have … but they didn't.  And if I had dwelled on all the possible HORRIBLE outcomes, I never would have picked up the phone and called her."

"Amazing.  You are just plain …."

"One of a kind."

"Thank God for that."  She reaches out to take his hand.  

"So can we put that other thing on hold for a little while?  Or do you really need to lay it out tonight?"

"If I said that I needed to have a plan tonight?"

"Then … we would come up with a plan … but we don't … not tonight."

"Do I get to choose when the time is?"

"The time, the place, what we should wear and … NOT wear."



"OK."  She smiles at him.  "So, any other ADDISON THEORIES you want to share with me?"

"Where do I begin?"

"How `bout here."

Maddie leans over and kisses him softly at first but with increasing passion.  She wants him, but David holds back.  Finally she pulls back.

"Am I not making myself understood?"  

"Loud and clear … but --."

"But what?"

"I don't want to hurt you. … you know HURT you."

"David … I'm not broken."

"But …"

"Is that why you haven't touched me for the past several days?"

"Maddie … touching you is not the problem.  It is stopping touching you ..."

"Who wants you to stop?"


"Addison … after tomorrow there will be TWO WEEKS … count them 14 days and nights before we can … you know … NOT STOP again."

"Two weeks?"


"Where does that place us … on the calendar."

"Middle of October."

"Two weeks huh?"

"14 long nights."  She is kissing his neck and sliding her hand up under his shirt.

"Mmmmm … I don't think … but … "

"Come on Addison … put that ONE ROOM theory to good use."

He reaches over and clicks off the light.


Sheets ruffling, magazines hitting the floor, moaning, heavy breathing, kissing

"Oh David … Mmm … Oh … Ow … Ow … OW."

"Did I hurt you?"

The light clicks back on.

"Are you alright?"

"David … what are you doing?"

"Did I hurt you?"

"You were pulling my hair."

"Jesus Maddie, I am so nervous."

"What is there to be nervous about?"

"I don't want to -"

"Yeah hurt me … I got it.  So you would rather drive me crazy."


"Fine.  Looks like I have to do this."


She clicks off the light.


"Maddie … Maddie … what are you doing?  … Maddie! …" (laughs) "What … wait … Oh … I like that … oh yeah … that too … Oh I love it when you get aggressive … no a little to the … right there … oh yeah."

"Shut up Addison and kiss me."


Maddie is lying in bed with pillows and magazines and stuff all around her.  She looks really uncomfortable.  David is standing near her checking to be sure that everything is in arms reach.

"David … the doctor said I should move around."

"Yeah … well … she also said you should take it easy."

"You are going to drive me insane if you don't relax."

"I'm relaxed … I am the epitome of relaxed."

"You are going to work Monday … in fact isn't there a surveillance that you need to check on?"

"My man Viola is taking care of that."

"Now I am not relaxed."

"What?  Another pillow?  I don't think we have anymore … I could go get some more."

"David … come here… sit down … you can sit by me."  She groans a little as she moves herself up on the bed.

"Are you sure?"

"David … sit … now.  Listen to me.  The doctor said that is was a mild case which is why it went undiagnosed for so long … nothing to be alarmed about … aches and pains from the procedure are normal … but nothing that I haven't experienced … well ok … I hurt … but not awful … all right it's terrible, but I'll make it.  Please … just back off."

"You'll tell me if something is wrong … if you need anything?"

"I will.  I promise."


"Ok … this is a whole other side of you that I have not seen before."

"Well you showed me a pretty interesting side of yourself last night too.  My girl … oh my nasty girl."

"Someone had to take the lead."

"With a lead like that … I would follow you to the ends of the earth."

He leans over to kiss her and stops just short of their lips actually touching.

"Better not.  Don't want to start something I can't finish."

"This is going to be a long two weeks."

"Let's talk about something else."


"Well … the Pontiac King gave us a pretty big bonus."


"Well … it was a big case with a big fee … so … how about we start shopping for cars."  David pulls out a bunch of brochures from under the pile of magazines from BMW, Mercedes, Porsche, Audi  and the list goes on.

"The '92 Porsche 968 Sport Coupe is very nice."

Freeze on Maddie looking at David.


Thanks for spending time with us.  As always a huge debt of gratitude goes to the Virtual Staff:  Sarah, web mistress extraordinaire, Sue, technical advisor to the stars and Diane, collaborator, keeper of the M&D flame and beta wizard.  Could not have finished this without you three.  Thanks.