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And the Fair Rose

Act I:  One week later in David's office

David sits at his desk, snarling at a newspaper.  He begins to read aloud.

David:  Sam Crawford, America's newest hero, was accompanied by Madolyn Hayes, former model and current partner in the Blue Moon Detective Agency.  When asked about their relationship, Crawford smiled slyly and responded, " We're just old friends….very old friends!"

David balls up the newspaper and hurls it towards the office door.  The door opens to admit Bert, who gets nailed right in the middle of his forehead by the newspaper missile.

Bert:  Ouch!

Bert holds his head.  He is wearing a rumpled trench coat and several days' growth of beard.

David:  Hey, look who dropped in……Mini-Columbo!  Sorry about the whack in the head.

Bert:  Yeah, you should watch it - a little lower and you might have put my eye out.

David (to the camera):  Any lower and I would have had to roll it across the floor.

He speaks to Bert.

David:  So what's the word, detective?

Bert collapses into a chair.

Bert:  I've got lots of words, Mr. Addison - overworked, underslept, overextended for frequent flier miles!

David:  I warned you, Bert, this was gonna be the case that makes you or breaks you.

Bert:  In about a million pieces - like a jigsaw puzzle.

David:  Yeah, tough gig!  Three days in Chicago, debriefing coeds!  

He winks at Bert.

David:  So, what did you find out?

Bert:  I found out that coeds aren't nearly as much fun as they used to be.  I talked to quite a few of Rose Spencer's friends - most of whom knew nothing!

David (disappointed):  Nothing?

Bert:  Nada…..zilch……but they sure could talk!

David (sarcastically):  So, I guess that's what took three days, huh - them talking?

Bert:  Yeah…….there was a common thread in all the conversations though.  All of these people say that Rose basically dropped out of their lives about a year ago - and that rumor had it that she was dating an older, VIP type guy, who wanted the whole relationship to be hush hush.

David:  And that's all you got?

Bert:  It almost was - until yesterday.  I finally found Rose's last roommate….and it seems the girl has a great memory for details.  She flew in this morning - we should be able to meet with her later this afternoon.

There is a knock on the door, and Agnes enters.

Agnes:  Excuse me, Mr. Addison, but I've got a call for Bert.  A Paige Oliver?

Bert:  That's the party we've been discussing, Mr. Addison.  Is Miss Hayes in this morning?

Agnes looks, first to David, then to Bert.

Agnes:  Not yet.

Bert:  Great.  Agnes, give me a sec, then put the call through in Miss Hayes's office, please.

Agnes looks again at David, who nods his assent.  She walks out the door shaking her head.

Bert looks to David.

Bert:  It is OK for me to take the call there, right Dave?

David:  One of those things is fine……one is not.  You figure out which.

Bert:  Sure thing, Mr. Addison.  OK, I'll go get that call.

David:  Whatever floats your boat, Bert - I'd really like to get this show on the road!

Bert:  Absolutely.  I'll get her in here as soon as I can.  How's two o'clock?

David:  Fine.

Bert:  Great - Mr. Addison, take my word for it - I think this is gonna be the info we need …the info that will expose Sam Crawford for the creep he really is….. the info that….

David interrupts.

David:  Bert, your phone call?

Bert:  Gee whiz, thanks, sir!

Bert exits the office, and closes the door behind him.  He is immediately slammed back against the door by a strong pair of arms - Agnes!

Bert:  Agnes, what are you doing?

Agnes:  I want some answers, Bert, and I want them now.  What the hell are you and Mr. Addison doing?

Bert:  I'm sorry, I'm not at liberty to ……….

He is cut off by Agnes's arm at his throat.

Agnes:  Don't even attempt to finish that sentence…..spill it!

Bert:  I can't, Agnes, it's top secret!

Agnes:  Stuff that top secret stuff, Viola.  I know this has something to do with that couple who was in here last week.  And while we're at it, Mr. Too Big for His Britches, I'm not buying that story about you spending the last three days in La Jolla investigating a divorce case.

Bert:  But, Agnes………

Agnes:  Don't "but Agnes" me.  Secrets around here can mean only one thing - trouble!  And that goes double when both you and Mr. Addison are involved.

Bert:  But, Agnes…….

Agnes:  Before you get in over your head, you'd better let me in on it.

Bert pulls himself up to his full height and acts wounded.

Bert:  There's no need for mean comments about my stature.

Agnes:  Sorry.  But I'm not kidding, Bert.

Bert tries to placate her.

Bert:  Agnes, sweetie, there's nothing to worry about.  This case needs to be handled with a little delicacy, a little discretion.

Agnes:  Fine………..if you won't tell me then maybe I'll ask Miss Hayes about it!

Bert (panicked):  No wait - Miss Hayes doesn't…….wouldn't…….isn't completely up to speed on this one yet.

Agnes:  Yet?  Aha!  …….I'm telling you one thing - you and the other Hardy boy, that is - if you are doing something stupid, and trying to do it behind Miss Hayes's back….if you've forgotten what can happen around here when people don't communicate……well, may I just remind you of seasons four and five?

Bert stops her.

Bert:  Agnes, Agnes, you worry too much.  Everything is under control.  

He kisses her on the cheek.

Bert:  Now could you please put that call through for me, honey?

He pats her on the shoulder, turns, and walks into Maddie's office.

Agnes stands seething, staring at the closed door for a moment.  She returns to her desk, muttering to herself.

Agnes:  Men…….if they were any stupider, they'd have to be watered twice a week!

She sits.  Maddie enters through the front door, but Agnes is distracted by a ringing telephone.

Agnes:               Blue Moon Detective Agency.

               Think that your hubby is out on a date
               He's got some excuses and always is late
               Don't forget he's a man - he's a sneak and a phony
               Don't call us, get a lawyer, and good alimony.

Maddie:  Agnes?

Agnes turns, surprised to see her.

Agnes:  Good morning, Miss Hayes.

Maddie:  Something wrong, Agnes?

Agnes (evading):  No, why would you think there would be anything wrong?

Maddie looks at her searchingly.

Maddie:  Possibly reacting to that diatribe on the male sex.  Everything OK with you and Bert?

Agnes:  Who knows?  Men - sometimes I just don't know………

Maddie:  Yeah, it's that old "Can't live with `em…..etc. etc."  But this isn't something serious, is it?

Agnes:  It could be.  What do you think of keeping secrets?

Maddie:  Well, it depends.  Everybody's got secrets.  I know I've got a few.  Do you think Bert's keeping secrets?

Agnes:  I know he is.

Maddie:  Well, Agnes, if you're asking my opinion, a few little secrets never hurt anything - in fact, they might add a little "spice" to the relationship - it's so much fun finding them out!

Agnes:  That's little secrets - like what celebrities you've dated…..artists you've posed  nude for…stuff like that.  But what about the really important stuff - things that have to do with trust?

Maddie:  Trust is important - it's the most important thing in a relationship as far as I am concerned.  It takes a long time to find it, and a lot of work to nurture it.

Agnes:  That's what I mean.

Maddie:  Agnes, I'm sure whatever you're worried about is not such a big deal…Bert is devoted to you - he would never jeopardize what you've got.

Agnes:  I hope not - cause I really think he'd be making a big mistake if he didn't confide in me about what he's doing.

Maddie:  I'm sure it's harmless.  Maybe the two of you just need to sit down and hash it out together.

Agnes:  Yeah, I'm sure you're right, Miss Hayes.  Thanks.

Maddie:  Anytime, Agnes.  So listen, anything going on?

Agnes:  It's been pretty quiet.

Maddie:  Mr. Addison's not here?

Agnes:  No, he's here.  Been holed up in there with a copy of the morning paper - nice picture, by the way.

She hands the page to Maddie, who looks at the photo, and then skims the article.

Maddie:  Hmmmm…….bet these comments went over like a lead balloon tied to the ground.

Agnes:  The jury's still out - nobody's talking this morning.

Maddie:  Well, I've got a couple of more important things on my agenda today.  Male ego problems will need to be penciled in later - I'll be in my office.

Agnes:  OK, Miss Hayes.

Maddie enters her office, and registers surprise at finding Bert at her desk.  He doesn't notice her entrance and continues speaking into the phone.

Bert:  Well, I'm glad you're all settled into the hotel, Paige.  I was gonna stop by and see you later, but I think it's better if you come here….yeah, here at the office……around two?…….great, the address is 15555 Century Park East in Century City, Suite 2016….wonderful, so we'll see you at two.  Thanks so much…..sure, bye!

Bert hangs up the phone and swings the chair around, now noticing Maddie at the door.

Bert:  Good morning, Miss Hayes.  Hope you don't mind me using your office.  Just needed a little privacy to set up a few things.

Maddie:  So I hear……do we have a client meeting this afternoon?  Something I need to be involved in?  Or am I intruding into something personal?

Bert starts to fidget.

Maddie:  Two o'clock……interesting, that's Agnes's lunch hour.

Bert:  That's right…..maybe you should take her to lunch.  She seems a little jumpy today.

Maddie stares him down.

Maddie:  Looks like she isn't the only one around here who's jumpy……she's worried about you.

Bert tries to pull it together.

Bert:  No problems, Miss Hayes.  We're just fine - everything here is under control - nothing for you to worry about.

Maddie:  Mr. Viola, you're sweating.

Bert:  Now that you mention it, I believe I've got a fever.  In fact, it is coming onto high season for malaria.  Maybe I'd better get home and get into bed.

He is edging towards the door.

Maddie:  Freeze, Viola!

She rounds her desk, and sits behind it, indicating a chair to Bert.

Maddie:  Sit………….Stay!!!

Bert:  I'm not really sure this is necessary, Miss Hayes.

Maddie:  Humor me, Mr. Viola.  I just completed a very strange and unsatisfactory conversation with Miss DiPesto - you know, the woman with the gold plated instincts?

Bert just nods.

Maddie:  She seems to think you're hiding something from her.  Now, it may be none of my business, but would the something that you're hiding be named "Paige"?

Bert:  No, you've got it all wrong, Miss Hayes.  Paige is someone who is helping me.

Maddie:  Is that what we're calling it nowadays?

Bert:  In an investigation, Miss Hayes.

Maddie:  What investigation?

Bert:  I'd prefer not to discuss that with you, Miss Hayes.

Maddie:  Let me reintroduce myself, Mr. Viola - Madolyn Hayes - the signature at the bottom of your paycheck!

Bert:  I understand that, Miss Hayes, but this is top secret.

Maddie (losing her cool):  From who?  Why do I see the fine hand of David Addison in this?

Bert:  I plead the fifth.

Maddie:  You're operating under the influence of a fifth if you think that is going to satisfy me!

Bert:  But Miss Hayes, I really can't.  So much of the information is confidential - NASA's files are almost airtight, and it's taken a huge effort to………

Maddie's eyes start to widen, and Bert realizes he has screwed up.

Maddie:  Did you say NASA?  Let me take a stab at this - I feel like I need to take a stab at something!  Are you investigating somebody at NASA?

Bert stands silent and red faced.

Maddie:  Do not tell me this has anything to do with Sam Crawford!  Are you investigating Sam?  Checking him out?  Oh, this is the limit!

Bert:  Miss Hayes……

Maddie:  And your partner in slime…..what is his part in all of this?

She rises from her chair, disgustedly.

Bert:  But Miss Hayes…..

Maddie:  Mr. Viola, if you don't mind, I'd prefer not to speak with you right now.

Bert:  Well, OK, Miss Hayes.  Should I tell Mr. Addison you'd like to see him?

Maddie:  No, Mr. Viola.  Actually, I can't think of anybody I'd like to see less at this very moment.

Bert:  But, Miss Hayes……

She has fire in her eyes.  She points one finger at the door and utters a single syllable.

Maddie:  GO!!!

Bert backs out the door.

Maddie stands rigidly still - emotions raging in her head.  She begins to pace as the music plays.

               Somebody told me
               Once in a lifetime
               Destiny finds you and blows you away
               Spins you in circles
               Pulls you in pieces
               Bleeds you like Jesus
               And goes on its way
               But it's, oh so simple sometimes
               Just to lay your heart open wide
               Then you gotta take the ride.

               Love lift me
               Wherever you are
               Convince me
               I'm safe in your arms
               Love lift me
               Make sense of it all
               Teach me to fly
               And don't let me fall.

               Somebody told me
               Love makes you stupid
               Makes you go crazy
               Makes you go blind
               Comes uninvited
               And leaves when it wants to
               Calls you at midnight and ties up your line
               But it's, oh so sweet when it's right
               And you swear you won't but you might
               Gotta fumble in the dark if you wanna see the light

               Love lift me
               Wherever you are
               Convince me
               I'm safe in your arms
               Love lift me
               Make sense of it all
               Teach me to fly
               And don't let me fall.

               And when it's all said and done
               It's just the same for everyone
               You're busy making your plans
               Love's like a bird, baby
               Flying out of your hands

               And it's, oh so hard to explain
               And your heart gets hold of your brain
               Better batten down the hatches, baby
               Here we go again.

               Love lift me
               Wherever you are
               Convince me
               I'm safe in your arms
               Love lift me
               I'm waiting on you
               Cause nothing can lift me
               The way that you do
               Love lift me
               Love lift me
               Love lift me
               I wanna fly.

               COMMERCIAL BREAK

Act II  Moments later
     David's office

David sits at his desk, feet propped up, playing with a handheld game.

Bert opens the door, peering in.

David:  Ha Ha……….Blackjack!  Take that you beady eyed son of a …….

He looks up.

David:  Yo, Bert, how'd ya do?  Did you get her?

Bert:  (distractedly)  No, I think she got me.

Bert stares into space.  David snaps his fingers several times.

David:  Hey, Viola!  Adjust the antenna….tune it in here!

Bert:  Sorry, sir.

David:  So what's with the girl….what's her name again?

Bert:  Paige Oliver.  She'll be here at two o'clock.

David:  Great - with any luck, Maddie has decided to work from home today.  Not that I wouldn't care to catch a glimpse of her.  These social engagements with Crawford are starting to eat into our time……besides, now that I know about Rose Spencer, I am even more creeped out by this guy.

Bert mutters.

Bert:  She's here.

David:  Bert, you gotta speak up, my man - unless my hearing's going.

David hits himself on the side of the head.

Bert:  I said, she's here.

David:  Who's here?

Bert:  Miss Hayes.  She came in while I was on the phone in her office.

David:  Talk about blonde ambition - I told her to stay home today.  Well, that kind of settles it for me.

Bert:  What do you mean, sir?

David:  I'm gonna tell her about this investigation, bring her into the loop.

Bert:  The loop - funny you should mention that.

David:  Funny haha?

Bert:  I don't think you're going to see it exactly that way.

He pauses, rather dramatically, takes a deep breath, and speaks rapidly.

Bert:  Miss Hayes knows about the investigation.

David:  She what??

He rakes his hands through his hair.

David:  Who told her?

Bert:  I'm afraid that would be me, sir.

David:  Bert, for the love of Mike…..

Bert starts to rattle on.

Bert:  I'm sorry, Mr. Addison, but you know how it is.  She just sits there, staring at you, with those big blue eyes, and……well, she just gets me so nervous….and you know what happens when I get nervous….stuff just pops out of my mouth like…well, like……

David:  Poptarts?…Bert, my man, it's a good thing you weren't in WWII, or we'd all be speaking German.

Bert:  Sorry, sir.

David:  OK, OK, let's regroup.  Tell me exactly what she said.

Bert:  Not much, not much at all…just that she couldn't believe it, and to, quote, get out of her sight.

David:  Where have I heard those words before?  So, does she think you're doing this on your own?

Bert:  She gave me the distinct impression that she knew you were involved.

David:  Great!  So what do you think my options are……..charming, amusing, penitent?

Bert:  I think absent - she said there was no one in the world she wanted to speak to less than you.

David:  Hmmmm - ok, need to call in a liaison for damage control

He pushes a button on his phone, and Agnes's voice comes over the intercom.

Agnes:  Yes, Mr. Addison?

David:  C'mon in here for a sec, will ya?

Agnes:  Yes, Mr. Addison.

Bert:  Sir, I think that may be another mistake.

David:  Meaning?

Bert:  I think this one's boys against the girls.

David:  Nonsense, Bert, Agnes is my rock…my most loyal supporter.

Agnes barges through the door.

Agnes:  OK, that's it!  Miss Hayes just slammed out of here like a bat out of hell.  Will somebody please tell me what is going on?

David:  Bert didn't tell you?  I thought he took out an ad in the paper.

Agnes shoots a look at Bert.

Agnes:  No, he didn't tell me….and I know you two are up to no good.

David:  No - we're up to good - honestly!

Agnes:  Then how come it's all a secret…how come nobody, including Miss Hayes, knows what you're doing?

Bert:  She knows now!

David:  Yeah, thanks Bert.  Agnes, we were trying to keep this quiet until we had more information.  There is a young woman missing, and Sam Crawford seems to be involved.

Agnes:  Oh, man….

David:  That's what that couple, the Spencers, were doing in here last week.  They came to get our help to find their daughter.

Agnes:  And how did they pick Blue Moon?

David:  it was just a fluke…a happenstance… unbelievable coincidence.

Agnes:  Unbelievable is right!

David:  Unbelievable but not un-true!  

Agnes:  So, given the circumstances, why didn't you turn down the case?

David:  This wouldn't be much of an episode if I had turned down the case, now would it?

Agnes:  And of course, you couldn't tell Miss Hayes because……?

David:  Because…….well, I guess I didn't want her to…no, that's not it - I couldn't ask her to….

Agnes:  You'd better stand in front of a mirror and practice, cause that answer's just not gonna fly, ace.

Bert:  Give him a break, Agnes.  Help us out here.  What should we say to Miss Hayes?

Agnes:  Thought you guys wanted to be on your own on this one?  I ought to leave you there - floating off into the Arctic on your own little ice floe.

Bert:  But Agnes……..

Agnes: Just listen, Bert. Maybe one of you should be taking notes. The one thing that all women want to hear is the truth, whether it's pretty or not.  And don't try to give it plastic surgery - we can handle the good, the bad, and the ugly.  My suggestion is, Mr. Addison, that you give it to her straight, and let her know that you need and want her help.

David:  And again, Agnes to the rescue.  Thanks, I owe you.

Agnes favors him with a lopsided smile.

Agnes:  You'd better be careful - I'm keeping track.  I gotta go - I'll give you the signal when she gets back.

Agnes exits.

David and Bert exchange glances.

Bert:  Well, that was kind of an intense dress rehearsal for the real thing, huh?

David:  Dammit, Bert, I told you from the very beginning this would come back to bite me in the ass - how could I be so stupid?

Bert:  Well sir, I think, quite rightly, that you were only trying to protect Miss Hayes.

David:  Yeah, and trying to help those poor people.  You and I have known for a long time that there was something "off" about Crawford.

Bert:  Yeah.

There is a long silence.

David:  She's gonna kill me, isn't she, Bert?

Bert:  Yeah.

David:  She's gonna chop me up in little pieces and drop them into the La Brea tar pits.

Bert:  Yeah.

David:  Gotta get my story straight…gotta make sure she understands…. I need some time to work this out, Bert.

Bert:  Sure, Mr. Addison.  You need some help, let me know.

David:  Little man, you've been quite enough help for one day.

Bert exits.

David starts to rehearse…

David:  Maddie, now I know it sounds hard to believe, but……

His voice trails off and he shakes his head.  He walks to the stereo, and twists the dials with a vengeance, until he finds his music.

He throws himself onto the couch, and lays back with his arms over his head

               Baby, do you understand me now?
               Sometimes I feel a little mad.
               But don't you know that no one alive can always be an angel?
               When things go wrong, I seem to be bad.
               I'm just a soul whose intentions are good.
               Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.

               Baby, sometimes I'm so carefree
               With a joy that's hard to hide.
               And sometimes, it seems that all I have to do is worry
               And then you're bound to see my other side.

               I'm just a soul whose intentions are good.
               Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.

               If I seem edgy, I want you to know,
               That I never mean to take it out on you.
               Life has its problems, and I get my share,
               And that's one thing I never meant to do.
               Because I love you.

               Oh, oh baby - don't you know I'm human?
               Have thoughts like any other one.
               Sometimes I find myself long regretting
               Some foolish thing, some little simple thing I've done.

               Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good.
               Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.

He props himself up on his elbows and speaks aloud.

David:  OK, logically speaking…….she loves me, right?  She'll understand…we've moved past having to worry about every tiny little issue…every word, every syllable.  

He rolls his eyes.

David:  Yeah, it's gonna be fine….Or she'll kill me…..just as long as she remains in the state of California, we can resolve anything…….I think.


Act III    2:00 PM
                David's office

Bert enters, followed by a pretty young woman in her early twenties.  She looks around the room nervously.

David rises and comes around his desk.  He approaches the woman with a smile.

Bert:  Paige, this is my boss, David Addison.  Mr. Addison, Paige Oliver.

David shakes her hand.

David:  Miss Oliver, thanks so much for coming to L.A.

Paige:  Call me Paige, please.  I didn't expect it to be so different from Chicago.  I'm worried that Rose is lost in a strange place.  I don't mean strange, I guess I mean foreign - oh, I'm just not sure what I mean!  I just want to help Rose.

David:  You're not far off - L.A. is both strange and foreign.  Now why don't you have a seat?  Can I get you something to drink?

Paige shakes her head.

Bert:  Don't you worry, Paige, if anyone can find Rose, it's Mr. Addison.  His track record for finding women - all kinds of women - is astounding.  I could tell you stories.

David:  Bert, let's save the RAH RAH ADDISON until after the football game.  Can we get down to business?  Paige, do you know when Rose met Sam Crawford?

As Paige starts to respond, the phone on David's desk begins to act as if it had a life of its own.  There is a series of long, loud buzzes from the intercom.  As David reaches for it, the office door swings open and Maddie enters.

This is Madolyn Hayes on her highest horse.  Her eyes sweep the room, taking in all present, and finally focusing on David.

David picks up the receiver, and hits a button on the phone.

David:  Agnes?………Yes, I see that.  There must be a seven second delay in the early warning system……..Yeah, thanks for trying.

He hangs up the receiver.

David:  Good afternoon, Miss Hayes.  I assumed that you had left for the day.

Maddie:  You know what they say about assuming, Mister Addison.  I had to take Miss Me to the vet - a distemper shot.

David:  You or the pooch?

Maddie:  Be grateful…we could be talking about mange.  So, what have we here?

David:  A meeting?

Maddie:  A meeting?  About a case?

She approaches the young woman.

Maddie:  You must be the client.  I'm Mr. Addison's partner, Madolyn Hayes.

Paige is awed.

Paige:  Wow - I know!  I've known you since I was a little girl.  I used to beg my mother to buy Blue Moon Shampoo.

David and Bert start to snicker, but are stopped by a look from Maddie.

Maddie: (drolly)  How nice!  And you are?

Paige:  Paige Oliver from Chicago.

Maddie:  Paige Oliver……I've heard about you from Mr. Viola.

Bert slumps down into his chair, trying to be invisible.

David tries to regain control.

David:  So Miss Hayes, we weren't aware that you'd be joining us this afternoon.

Maddie:  Hmmmmm…..yes, basic awareness is something that's been sorely lacking around here recently.  Well, go on, don't mind me - I'll just sit here as quiet as a little mouse.

David:  (muttering)  That'll be the day.

Maddie:  Excuse me?

David:  I said, that'll be OK.  We'll be glad to have you.

Maddie:  Good.  After all, I've got some personal interests to protect here.

For the benefit of Paige, she smiles at David, but the fire in her eyes tells a whole different story.

David:  We should provide some background information for Miss Hayes.

Maddie:  For me?  How kind.

David ignores her sarcasm.

David:  Paige was the roommate of Rose Spencer, who has not been seen by friends or family members in several weeks.  Her last known destination was L.A.  Her parents came here last week, and asked us……

Maddie shoots him a dagger of a look.

David:  Ummm…..asked me to help to locate her.  They had found some things in her apartment that disturbed them.  Bert has spent much of this week in Chicago trying to dig up some leads.  Paige agreed to fly back here to help in any way she can.

Maddie remains silent.

David:  Sooooooooooo….Ok, Paige, why don't we get back to what we were discussing?

Paige:  Rose's trip to Florida.  She was invited to attend an important Physics conference at NASA.  It was there that she met Sam Crawford.

David cast a sidewise glance at Maddie, who is trying hard to keep any reaction from showing on her face.

Paige:  Rose came home on cloud nine - she'd met this charming man who seemed interested in her.  And you'd just have to know Rose… was like a dream come true.  Not only was he handsome and successful, but he was both a physicist and an astronaut.  She was flattered and excited.  And the best thing was, when he wasn't working or training at NASA, his home was in Chicago.

Bert:  Did they spend much time together?

Paige:  Mostly a couple of days here and there - probably every few weeks.

David:  And Rose seemed happy?

Paige:  Almost deliriously so in the beginning.  She appreciated the fact that Sam was so mature and solid, both feet on the ground - not at all like the guys we went to school with.  Then, I started to notice the changes after the first couple months.

David:  What changes?

Paige:  Rose started to keep more to herself…withdrew from most of her friends.  She was almost obsessive with what Sam liked - wore only dresses and suits, started to grow her hair longer - everything for Sam.  It was a bit strange…she had always been quite independent before.

David:  The things we do for love.

David chuckles.  Maddie is clearly annoyed as she looks at him, and audibly sighs, and shakes her head.

David:  Did you discuss any of this with her?

Paige:  Yes, but she just laughed it off.  I didn't pursue it - didn't want to push too hard for fear that she'd stop talking to me.  I thought she needed a friend who wouldn't judge.

David:  Sounds like a good friend.

Paige smiles at him nervously.

Paige:  I tried, Mr. Addison.  But about a month later, after another of Sam's visits, Rose came to me and told me that she was moving out.  Sam wanted her to live in a better , more upscale neighborhood - and he wanted her to live by herself.

Bert:  This was when?

Paige:  About nine months ago.

David:  Hold on……her parents didn't know anything about this, did they?

Paige looks sheepish.

Paige:  No, she kept her phone line and an answering machine at my apartment.  She said she didn't want to deal with the hassles and the explanations.  I would check her messages, and call her with them.

She starts to tear up.

Paige:  Maybe if I had said something…hadn't hidden things for her…..maybe things might have been different.

Maddie:  (coolly)  You may be right - hiding things usually isn't the answer.

David seems stunned that Maddie could seem so unsympathetic, so unfeeling, so……forgetful!!  He speaks sharply.

David:  Something you've learned from personal experience?

Both appear ready to launch into a traditional banter battle, but Bert takes the reins, and steers the conversation back in the right direction.

Bert:  Paige, so in the last nine months how often have you seen Rose, talked to her?

Paige:  Well, until graduation, every day.  Since then, we talk usually once a week.

Bert:  Could the nine months time frame be significant?

Paige:  Nine months?  What…….oh, you mean was she pregnant?  No, definitely not…..she couldn't be…at least I don't think…..Oh God, I never even thought of that.

David:  We may be a bit off the track here.  When did you talk to her last?

Paige:  Right after the Space Shuttle Mission.  She was so excited - Sam was a hero, and he had asked her to come to Los Angeles with him.  She thought it meant some kind of a commitment.

David:  That's it?

Paige:  That's it.  She talked about borrowing a cocktail dress of mine.  When I didn't hear from her, I assumed she'd just changed her mind.

Maddie speaks.

Maddie:  Would you mind if I asked a few questions?

David:  Maddie…….

Paige:  Of course not, Miss Hayes.

Maddie:  Paige, can you be certain that Rose's story was for real?  What if she was making the whole thing up…inventing  an affair with a famous person…'s been done, you know.

Paige:  Oh no, Miss Hayes, I've seen them together.  In fact, I had dinner with the two of them in May.

Maddie:  Oh, you did.

Paige:  Rose planned it all.  It was a celebration for our graduation, and she wanted me to meet Sam.

David:  What were your impressions?

Paige:  I found him to be a bit cold.  He was charming when he put his mind to it, but for the most part difficult to talk to.  The part I found most disturbing was the way Rose acted - she kept looking to him for approval.  Once, she strayed onto a topic that must have been taboo - one look from him, and she clammed up.  He criticized her several times about simple things…about the meal, what she was wearing, her lack of knowledge in topics he was interested in………it was very uncomfortable, and I got out of there as quickly as I could.

Bert:  Anything else you can think of, Paige?

Paige:  I'm sure when I leave here, I'll think of a million things.  One thing, when Rose is hurt or upset, she needs to be by herself…..sometimes she barricades herself in her bedroom for days…sometimes she just takes off.  That's what I'm hoping, she's just holed up somewhere working on her own private demons.

David smiles silently to himself.

David:  Thanks again, Paige.  You've been a big help.

Paige:  I'll be here till at least next Monday, and I can stay longer if you think you need me.  Just let me know.

Bert:  Mr. Addison, how about if I walk Paige downstairs and get her a cab.

Paige:  That would be great .  I'm headed over to meet Rose's parents for dinner…..this is one meeting I'm not looking forward to.

David:  Keep a good thought, kiddo.  We'll let you know.  Thanks again.

Bert and Paige exit.

Maddie has risen and walked to the window.  She stares out and tries to sort through her emotions.  David watches silently, then decides to play it light.

David:  So, pretty lady, wanna go grab a late lunch?

Maddie:  No, David.

David: (hopefully) Not hungry?

Maddie:  David…if charming is the approach you're trying to pull out of your bag of tricks today, frankly it's not working.

David:  It always works.

Maddie:  Don't kid yourself, you're not getting out of this with a wink and a smile.

David tries a different tack.

David:  OK, so what do you think of our boy Viola?  Sent him off to the Windy City and he did himself proud.  Quite a big step for a little guy.

Maddie:  Attempt number two - avoidance.

She shakes her head.

Maddie:  Not working either.

David:  Something's working…'re not yelling yet.

Maddie:  It's still early.  So David, you've been quite a busy bee these past few weeks.

David:  Maddie, can I say something here?

Maddie:  No.  So, in all that time, while we've been working together, playing together, even sleeping together…you didn't think to take the time to tell me about this case.

David:  Maddie, I hardly think that would be anybody's idea of foreplay.

Her look would freeze water.

Maddie:  So, let's hear it now.  This couple just sought you out, coincidentally, to find their daughter?

David makes an "X" across his chest.

David:  Cross my heart.  They saw our advertising posters at the airport.

Maddie:  Hmph!  Addison's folly pulls in its first fish….which conveniently drags Sam Crawford into the boat.

David:  Strange but true.

Maddie:  That's a pretty bizarre coincidence, even for us.  

Maddie pauses for a moment.

Maddie:  Let me ask you a simple question - did you ever think of not taking this case, due to the circumstances?

David:  I tried, Maddie.  I told the Spencers you and I had a history with Sam.  I told them I would have to back off if I felt I was compromising the case or the agency.

Maddie:  So?

David:  So?

Maddie:  So why did you take it on at all?

David:  Because I felt sorry for the Spencers.  And also because I thought maybe we could find out the truth, solve the case, and keep Sam's name out of the papers.

Maddie:  What a crock!

David:  Pardon me?

Maddie:  One step too far.  You should have quit while you were ahead, Addison.  That pile is still steaming.

David:  Maddie, you're determined not to understand my motives here.

Maddie:  I understand your motives…they started about three years ago in a parking garage, and you still feel in some way, you need to triumph over Sam.

David:  That's not true…..entirely.

Maddie:  You're kidding yourself, David, if you really believe that.  The jealousy aspect is a given, and frankly, it's your problem.

David:  Meaning?

Maddie:  Meaning that you should know where we stand by now.  Meaning that everything that happens shouldn't cause a major upheaval.  Meaning that we should trust each other more than that by now.

She walks across the room and stands face to face with David.

Maddie:  Look David… are my partner - not Sam - in and out of the office.  But I'm not going to walk away from a lifelong friend because of your testosterone driven jealousy.  

David:  I'm not asking you to do that.  Have I made a single peep about you being out on the town with him every night this week?

Maddie:  No, but judging from your tone, you haven't been that happy about it either.

David:  Let's not go there, OK?

Maddie:  Fine, then let's go somewhere else.

David:  (hopefully)  Tahiti?

Maddie ignores him.

Maddie:  Make me understand why, when you considered taking this case, that you didn't consult me.

David:  Because I knew it would upset you, and I didn't want you to have to deal with it.

Maddie:  So now you're making my decisions for me?  Monitoring what I should and shouldn't know?  What are you - the Legion of Decency?

David:  When you think about this conversation later - and you will - you will realize that is one funny line - Legion of Decency……me?  Ha ha !

Maddie:  Stop changing the subject.  The only reason that I can see that you wouldn't tell me is that you wanted to use the opportunity to stick it to Sam, to bring him down a peg.

David (angrily)  I give up.  Believe what you want, Maddie.  You're going to anyway.

Some say there is an eerie silence just before a tornado strikes - and then chaos!!

Maddie:  You're annoyed with me?  Well,
that's pretty typical.     David:  You think I'd know better by    now than to try and do anything for you.
Maddie:  To do anything for me?  What a
      're trying to do everything
               for me.          David:  I just ought to figure out
                                                                                     what I think you'd want - and then
          do the exact opposite.
Maddie:  The logical thing would be not to
Guess, but to ask what I want.     David:  Yeah, that's right..say, Maddie, may I, every time I go to
                                                                   do something.

Maddie:  Don't be ridiculous!                                    David:  That's plain ridiculous!

Maddie takes a deep breath.

Maddie:  David, how long can we keep doing this?  How can you be so unsure of me?  I am not something you won from Sam and I am not someone you can lose to Sam - or any other man.  You and I are the only ones who can make this work - and it's going to take trust, and respect , and being totally honest with each other.

David is silent.  Visions of Chicago and season four float through his head, but he makes not a sound.

Maddie:  My God, David, how many times can this thing we have - this relationship - bounce back?  

David:  Did you ever watch a PONG game?  If you don't put a quarter in, the ball just bounces back and forth, back and forth.  But if you put in the quarter, you've got to get in there and take control of the game.  And it'll stay on as long as you've got electricity.

Maddie:  What if somebody pulls the plug?

David:  I think there would still be sparks.

Maddie finally smiles.

Maddie:  And where's our insurance policy - what's to say we don't go down in flames - crash and burn?

David:  I'm flapping my wings as hard as I can.  Just tell me what you want me to do and I will do it.

Maddie:  I want you to drop this case.

David:  Except that.  Maddie, it's too late for that.  We've done a lot of work on this case….and the expenses - Bert's airfare, his kid's meal on the plane…..

Maddie:  We can turn over all the information to another agency, and I'm willing to absorb all the expenses.

David:  (almost pleading)  Maddie, I can't.

Maddie:  Drop it.

David:  I can't.  I'm sorry but I made a commitment to these people.  And you're gonna hate hearing this, but my gut instinct tells me that there is some truth to this girl's story.

Maddie:  Well, lets not underplay the commitment you've made to these total strangers - much more important than my feelings.

David:  Maddie, don't do this.  Don't set up ultimatums, or make this be about choosing between you and this case.  Of course, you would win -- I would choose you.  But is that really how you want this issue to be resolved…… me a choice that is not really a choice?  I've started this….no matter what you think my motivation is, I've got to finish it.  I need to find this kid.

Maddie turns her back and walks away from David.  She is obviously deciding.

David:  Maddie, take a look at this.

He takes a folder from his desk, and shows Maddie the picture of Sam and Rose. Maddie's face registers some surprise, but she quickly composes herself.

David:  (quietly)  She looks like you, she has some of the same habits as you.

Maddie:  Don't get carried away, David.  I know Sam Crawford…'re inventing something that's just not there.

She pauses for an instant.

Maddie:  Ok, here's the deal.  We continue the investigation….just you and me.

David:  Can't do that to Bert.  He's  worked his tail off on this.

Maddie:  Am I a partner in this agency?

David:  You are the Queen Bee, Blondie.  But never underestimate the importance of drones.

David tries to understand her concern…...a light bulb goes on.

David:  Maddie, Bert already knows all of this.  He's uncovered a lot of this information himself.

Maddie: Fine………then all three of us.  If there are no results in forty eight hours, then we go to Sam and discuss it with him.

David:  I don't think confronting Sam…………..

Maddie's look cuts him off midsentence.

David:  I can live with that.

Maddie:  David, understand this.  I am going to be working very hard to find this girl as well, and I will prove to you that there is nothing sinister or strange about Sam Crawford.

David:  I hope you're right, Maddie.

Maddie:  No you don't.  But that's OK.  Because I'm going to be.  

She busies herself with details.

Maddie:  The three of us need to meet…….my office……half an hour….. and review.  I want to see all - and I mean all the information on this case.  Then we'll decide where to go from here………the three of us.

David:  That's three…..for……five…..right?

He's hoping for a smile, but Maddie just heads for the door.

David:  Maddie?

She turns back to face him.

David:  Are we OK?

Maddie:  We're OK…..we will be……I just need a little time to myself.

David:  OK.

Maddie exits, and returns to her office.

Split screen……….

Maddie sits at her desk.  While the music plays, she first makes a stab at doing some work, but ends up leaning back in her chair, looking pensive.  David paces back and forth several times, and ends up staring out of the window.

               We could tumble like a weed in the wind.
               Or we could scatter like the leaves in a storm
               Or we could stand like an oak, and laugh at the joke
               That the love we have is gone.

               We could buckle like a bridge made of tin.
               And we could shatter like a house made of glass
               Or we could stand like a rock, and weather the shock
               And try to make it last.

               We could crumble like a castle of sand
               And fade and wither like a rose on the vine
               Or we could stay with the dream, though lost it may seem
               And try a second time

               And give each other love every day
               A little goes a long, long way
               And we could have it all
               We could have it all, again.

               You stumble and you fall
               You add up your losses
               You gather your forces
And try again.

               And give each other love every day
               A little goes a long, long way
               And we could have it all
               And we could have it all again
               We could have it all….. again.


Act IV  Blue Moon Detective Agency
       The following morning

David enters the office singing.

David:  And they called it puppy love…………..

He tips his sunglasses at the office staff.

David:  Good morning ladies and germs.  Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas.  What he was doing in my pajamas, I'll never know.  

The staff groans.

David:  Hey, wait a minute, I don't wear pajamas.

David waggles an invisible cigar at Agnes.

David:  Good morning Miss DiPesto.  What's the forecast for this AM?

He motions in the direction of Maddie's door.

Agnes:  Seems a little overcast.  She was here very early this morning - earlier than me - and she doesn't look like she got much sleep.

David:  Maybe I'll go in and test the waters.

Agnes:  She's got company.

David:  Company?  Anyone I know and would absolutely hate to see this morning?  Rhymes with damn?

Agnes grins.

Agnes:  No, I think you'll be OK with this guest.

David smiles and walks to Maddie's door.  He opens it and looks curiously, but doesn't see anyone.  Maddie looks up as he enters.

David:  Heard we had company.  Glad I put on my brand new underwear this morning.

Maddie allows herself a small smile.

David:  So, where's the company? Hiding out under your desk I bet.  C'mon out of there before I come under and get you!

He hears a small whimper from behind him and turns.  Miss Me is on the couch, curled up on a blanket.  David walks over and sits beside her.  She rests her head on his leg, and looks up at him with those puppy dog eyes.  David ruffles her fur, but turns and focuses on Maddie.

David:  You look tired, Maddie.  Another big night on the town?

He looks down at the listless dog.

David:  And did you take her with you?

Maddie:  I've been up with her almost all night.  The vet says it's probably a reaction to the shot yesterday.
David:  Poor pup.  It was probably a big shock to her system.  Anything I can do?

Maddie:  No, the vet said just to keep an eye on her.  I couldn't leave her home.

David:  Well, if you need a sitter, I live right next door, and I've got references.

Maddie:  Thanks.

There is an uncomfortable silence.

David:  So, what about you?

Maddie:  What about me?

David:  You had a shock to your system yesterday, too.

Maddie:  I'm fine.

David:  Well, you don't seem fine.

Maddie:  Well, I am fine.  In fact, I'm finer than fine…..I'm ultra fine.

David:  Honey, they don't get any finer than you.

He winks at her.  She's not budging.

Maddie:  I've spent the last few hours going over all this information again.  Where's Mr. Viola?

David:  Don't you remember, he drew the short straw…so to speak.  He's checking out the hospitals and the morgue.

Maddie:  Right - so we proceed as agreed.  You're checking hotels, and I'm calling the rental car agencies, right?

David:  That's the plan…….unless you want to work together and….

Maddie:  I think we'll cover more ground if we work separately.

David:  You're the boss lady.

Maddie:  What time is it?

David:  The big hand's on the three and the little hand's on the nine.

Maddie:  Nine fifteen, wow……better get to it.

She picks up the phone and hits the intercom button.

Maddie:  Agnes, could you bring me a big cup of coffee, and the Yellow Pages.  Thanks.

She hangs up the phone and looks up at David.

Maddie:  Anything else?

David:  Are you sure you're OK?

Maddie:  I'm fine……I just need to get to work.

David:  Eight fines in one conversation, that must be a record.

He gets no response.  He starts to walk to the door.

David:  I can take a hint.  Send up a smoke signal if you need anything, OK? I'm going out for a while, but Agnes can get me on the cell phone.

Maddie looks over at him.

Maddie:  Sure thing.

David blows her a kiss as he leaves the office.  Maddie stares at the closed door for a moment, then gets down to work.

A clock with rapidly moving hands appears on Maddie's desk, while "Syncopated Clock" plays.  All the while, Maddie has been checking directory listings, talking on the telephone and making notes.

Maddie:  Good morning, is this Econo-car?  This is Rose Spencer.

Cut to car rental agency…a "Suzanne Sommers" type blonde has answered the phone.

Blonde:  Miss Spencer, I was just about to call you back.  I'm so sorry about the delay.  The mechanic should be there in about an hour.  I hope that is convenient.

Cut back to Maddie.

Maddie:  I guess it will have to be.  As long as he can fix the problem.

Cut back to the blonde.

Blonde:  If he can't we'll get you another car immediately.

Cut back to Maddie.

Maddie:  Fine.  Just so there is no confusion - can you verify the address you gave him?

Cut back to the blonde.

Blonde:  Absolutely.  It's 6406 Deep Dell Place, in Hollywood Hills.  Is that right?

Cut back to Maddie.

Maddie:  Perfect.  I'll be expecting him in an hour.  Thanks for your help.

Cut back to Blonde.

Blonde:  And thank you for choosing Econo-car, Miss Spencer.  Goodbye.

Maddie puts down the phone, and shakes her head.  This seems almost too easy.  A little deception that brings big results.

Maddie hits the intercom buzzer.

Maddie:  Agnes, I need you in here, fast.

Seconds later, Agnes shoots through the door.

Maddie: Agnes, I just got the information I need to solve this case.  Can you answer the phones from in here, and keep an eye on Miss Me?

Agnes:  Sure thing, Miss Hayes.  What should I tell……

They both speak at once.

Maddie:  Mr. Addison                    Agnes:  Mr. Addison?

Maddie stands and reflects for a moment.  This would be easier to handle on her own.  She makes her decision.

Maddie:  I'm going to go on ahead, so we don't lose this lead.  Will you please get in touch with Mr. Addison and Mr. Viola, and have them meet me in Hollywood Hills - 6406 Deep Dell Place?  Tell them everything is fine, nothing dangerous, and I believe I've found Rose Spencer.

Maddie grabs the files from her desk, and shoves them in her briefcase.  She grabs her purse, and is off on a dead run.

Agnes:  Sure thing, Miss Hayes.  Be careful.

Agnes sits down next to the puppy and rubs her head.

Agnes:  There goes Mom.  Better call Dad and break the good news.

Scene:  A secluded street in the Hollywood Hills.

Maddie drives up and parks at the curb, a little way out of view of the front door.  The house is set back from the street, a small trim rancher with a well-kept lawn.  Maddie walks up the pathway to the front door and rings the bell.

The door is opened by a tall pretty blonde.  Each woman gasps - they could each be looking into a mirror with a twenty year time warp.
Rose:  It's you.

Maddie:  I know you're Rose.  I'm Maddie Hayes.

Rose:  I know who you are.  I've seen your picture in the paper all week.

She gestures to a coffee table pile with several day's papers.

Maddie:  Can I come in?

Rose:  Did he send you?

Maddie:  Sam?  No.  Sam has no idea I know anything about you.  But there are a lot of people who are looking for you - you parents, your friend Paige.

Rose:  Come on in.

Maddie:  Thank you.

Rose:  How did you find me?

Maddie:  I'm not sure you're aware, but I run a detective agency.

Rose:  Of course I am…just another of the immeasurable talents of Madolyn Hayes.

Maddie looks at her curiously.

Maddie:  I'm not sure I understand.

Rose:  I've spent the last year listening to the stories……Maddie this, and Maddie that.  Sam's perfect woman.

Maddie smiles sadly.

Maddie:  Rose, I'm far from perfect.  Sam knows that.

Rose:  He doesn't act that way…….

Maddie:  Rose, tell me what's going on here.  Why have you come here….without telling your family and friends?  They're very upset.

Rose:  I didn't mean to make them upset.  I was really trying to make this a wonderful surprise.  Some surprise…for me!

Maddie:  Why don't you start from the beginning?

Rose:  I met Sam about a year ago.  We connected.  Sounds silly, but we saw each other across a crowded room, and moments later, he was by my side.  We had lots in common, and his home was in Chicago.  We became involved.

Maddies sits quietly, not pushing.

Rose:  I know you're wondering, why I didn't tell my parents.  Sam was worried, because of the space mission coming up.  He didn't want any tabloid publicity - because of the difference in our ages and all.  I hated keeping things from them, but I knew they would have a hard time approving too.

Maddie:  But you told Paige.

Rose:  I tell Paige everything……everybody has to have a friend like that.  But it was hard…..I could tell Paige didn't really trust Sam.

Maddie:  Why do you think?

Rose:  She thought Sam was trying to change me………

Rose starts to weep softly.

Rose:  Seeing you in person, I think she's right.  He told me how to wear my hair…long and straight, like your modeling pictures from the 70's.  He tells me how to dress, how to act……..and no matter what, I just can't seem to get it right.

Maddie:  Why do you need to get it right……why do you need to change?

Rose:  It's what Sam wants.

Maddie:  And what do you want?

Rose:  I want Sam…I love him.

Maddie:  Rose, tell me something.  What are you doing here in L.A.?

Rose:  After Sam came home from space, he was in seventh heaven………publicity galore…………hail the conquering hero.  When this trip came up, he invited me to come with him.  I thought it was so we could go public with our relationship, maybe even make a commitment.  But since I've been here, all I've done is sit in this house while he's out every night, having his picture taken with you.  He's not even staying here.

Maddie:  Rose, I'm going to tell you something.  Sam and I have been friends for over 30 years……I never dreamed he could treat anybody the way he is treating you.  You are a beautiful, talented young woman with lots of good things ahead of you.  Don't let him do this to you.

Rose:  But don't you think he's trying to help me?

Maddie:  This may be hard to listen to……..but I'm not sure that Sam even realizes what he is doing.  There have been some changes in him that I have found hard to understand…And if he does understand what he's doing, that's worse.  Your whole relationship confuses me.

Rose:  Confuses you…….I am in constant confusion.

Maddie:  That's wrong.  You don't know me from Adam, but I'm telling you…..if somebody loves you, they love you as you are……take the good with the bad…..because  it's what makes you you that they fell in love with to begin with.  Don't ever let anybody make you feel you have to reinvent yourself for them.

A voice comes from the front door.

David:  Very well put.

Maddie turns to see David and Bert standing in the front doorway.

David:  Everything OK here?

Maddie smiles at him.

Maddie:  Just fine.  David, Bert, this is Rose Spencer.

Bert:  Wow……the resemblance is just……………

Maddie:   Bert.

Bert :  Sorry Miss Hayes.

Maddie:  Rose, these gentlemen have done a lot of work to find you.  They've spoken with your friends and family, who are very eager to get in touch with you.

Rose:  I don't know what to do.

David:  Talk to the people you trust Rose.  They can help you make the right decision.

Rose:  And Sam?

Maddie:  That's up to you, of course.  If I were you, I'd walk away and try to clear my head.  Reason it out and decide what to do for the long term.

Rose:  It sounds really stupid and immature, but I think I want my mother.

Maddie:  I can sympathize with that.  How about if I help you get some things ready, and Mr. Viola can take you to her.

Rose:  She's here?

David:  About thirty minutes away.

Rose's face starts to crumble.  Maddie puts her arm around her shoulders, and leads her into the bedroom.

Bert:  So how do you like that, Mr. Addison?  We cracked the case.

David:  Where have you been Bert?  Maddie cracked the case.

Bert:  I was using the queen's "we", sir.

David:  And she's the queen, all right.  We never would have done it without her.

A voice comes from the bedroom door.

Maddie:  Very well put.

She walks across the room to David and Bert.

Maddie:  She'll be ready in a second.  Poor kid, she was ready to be rescued.  I never would have believed……..

She stops, and smiles sadly…

David puts his arm around her shoulders, then captures Bert with his other arm

David:  What a team…..what a trio!  The three musketeers, three amigos, three…..

Maddie:  Stooges?

David:  Never.  Geniuses, maybe.  We should write a detective manual.

Maddie:  A how not to book?  Let's file that suggestion.

She looks at her watch.  

Maddie:  Bert, you'll take Rose to the Holiday Inn to her parents?  I'll call and let them know you're coming.  I have another call to make also.

David:  I want sausage and sweet peppers on mine.

Maddie:  Later, David, we have something else to take care of first.

Rose emerges from the bedroom, carrying a small suitcase.  Her eyes are red rimmed but she is composed.

Rose:  I guess I'm ready.

Maddie:  I think you're doing the right thing Rose.  I think once you give yourself some time and space, you'll be able to make the decision that's right for you.

Rose:   Thanks.  I'm glad I met you.

Maddie presses a business card into her hand, then gives her a hug.

Maddie:   I want you to call me and let me know how you're doing.  I mean it.

Rose: I will.  Bye David.

David:  Bye, honey.  You take care.

David and Maddie stand silently for a moment, just looking at each other.  As if they were of one mind, they walk towards each other and hug, hard.  After a moment, Maddie looks into his face, and smiles.

Maddie:  We need to get moving.  I need to make that call.

David:  Where are we going?

Maddie:  Back to the office.  To put an end to this once and for all.

David looks confused.

Maddie:  I'll explain later.  Now, Addison, I've got three little words for you.

David grins.

David:  Which are?

Maddie:  Get the car.

David, laughing, walks out the front door, singing, "Ain't No Woman Like the One I Got"


Act V  Blue Moon Detective Agency
      45 minute later.

David and Maddie walk through the front door.  Agnes is at her console, and Miss Me is scampering around the office from one person to another, chasing a ball they keep throwing back and forth.

Maddie looks at David, shakes her head, and laughs.

Maddie:  Guess somebody's feeling better.  And I'm so glad we've got an entire staff here to amuse her.

David:  I've told you before - this is a group with some highly developed talents.

He grabs for the dog as she scampers by.

David:  C'mere you.  Calm down……..we have a business to run.  Can't all be set on our ear by a blonde ball of fluff.

He winks at the camera

David:  Second time in seven years I've called somebody in this office a blonde ball of fluff…… this one doesn't whack me though!

He cradles the puppy in his arms.

Agnes:  Miss Hayes, there's someone in your office.

Maddie:  Thanks, Agnes.  David, can you join me please?  

David hands the dog back to Agnes, looking at her for clues.  

Maddie and David walk across the room, and stop outside the door.

Maddie:  David, one thing.  This is very important to me.  Let me do all the talking.

David:  You mean you don't normally?

Maddie:  No comments, no funny business……please.

David:  You got it, Blondie.

They enter the room.  Sam Crawford is seated in a chair in front of Maddie's desk..  He rises, walks towards Maddie, and leans forward to kiss her cheek.  Maddie evades the kiss and walks around her desk, indicating that David should take a seat on the credenza behind.

Maddie:  Have a seat, Sam.  We need to talk.

Sam:  If we need to talk, what's he doing here?

David struggles to maintain his silence….

Maddie:  I asked David to join us.  This concerns him also.

Sam:  Fine, so what would you like to talk about?

Maddie:  How about Rose Spencer?

Sam is momentarily speechless.

Sam:  How do you know Rose Spencer?

Maddie:  I think the more appropriate question is, how do you know Rose Spencer?

Sam:  She's just a kid I met at a seminar at NASA.  Sweet, pretty…what else is there for me to say?

Maddie:  How about…living in an apartment you're paying for, hiding your relationship from her family and friends?

Sam:  Who told you that?  Oh, I get it…….the Great Mouth Detective over here……trying to dig up some dirt, Addison?

Maddie:  Sam, I'm asking the questions here.  

Sam changes tactics.

Sam:  Ok Maddie, you're right, I'm involved with her.  What's the problem?  She's a free agent, over twenty one……what's the harm?

Maddie:  Sam , she's a child….and you've encouraged her to break off ties with her family, her friends……you don't see anything wrong with that?

Sam:  Her choice.

Maddie:  Wrong - Sam, you're abusing her…….I spent some time with her this afternoon, and she is convinced that the only way she can please you is to turn into a carbon copy of me.

Sam:  I'm helping her…..advising her.  With my help, she will make some good contacts, become successful.

Maddie:  If you ever let her out of the house.

Sam:  You're not going to see this the way I see it, and frankly it's none of your business.  You don't see me sticking my nose into your unsuitable relationship with your "partner".

Maddie:  Sam, that's the last time you're ever going to speak that way about David in my presence.  We love each other, and we are two adults who have fought through some adversities to make our life together work.  We've done that through mutual respect and trust………not by intimidation, and certainly not by deception.

Sam:  And you think that's what I've done?  And you've never been deceptive, Maddie Hayes?  May I remind you of a morning over three years ago, when I caught you trying to sneak back into your house, into our bed, after being with this…this lowlife.

David starts to growl……stops on a dime with a look from Maddie. Sam continues.

Sam:  And that is the deception I know about.  Who knows what other things you kept from me?

Maddie: (angrily)  Enough!  I've spent over three years feeling guilty about what you intimated I did to you……….and you know what, Sam?  Tough………that's life, get over it!  You're a big boy……..but until just today, I didn't know you weren't a big man.

David:  Go, Maddie, go!!

She turns and looks at him.

David:  Sorry.

Maddie:  Let's get back to Rose Spencer.

Sam:  I told you that's none of your business.

Maddie:  I've made it my business.  She is no longer stashed in your little hideaway in the hills….she's with her parents.

Sam:  How dare you?

Maddie:  I dare because somebody very important to me made me realize that I had to do the right thing.  You can't make this kid me, Sam, no matter how hard you try.  And if you stop and look at it clearly, you don't want me anyway.  You want the idealized, homogenized, Sam Crawford version of Maddie Hayes that never really existed.

Sam:  Well, I definitely don't want what you've become - shrieking like a fishwife, compromising your standards….it's such a shame, Maddie.

Maddie:  And threatening, don't forget threatening.

Sam:  What do you mean?

Maddie:  The information I have in my possession is extremely powerful, Sam, and certainly could cause much damage for a politically motivated man like yourself.  It would probably put an end to all this hero talk once and for all.

Sam:  You wouldn't.

Maddie:  I would.  But I won't if you meet my conditions.  Number one… not have any additional contact with Rose Spencer…………leave her alone, Sam.  She's a good kid, and she deserves better than what you have handed her this year.

Sam:  And what else?

Maddie: I don't want to see you, hear from you anymore.  It's sad when a thirty year friendship becomes worthless.  I can't have you in my life any longer.

Sam:  You're making a big mistake, Maddie.

Maddie:  Will you meet my conditions?

Sam becomes cocky.

Sam:  Why not………….what do I have to give up anyway?  A star struck little climber, and an over the hill fashion model.  Two more little holes in my life that will be filled quicker than you can imagine.  There are lots of other women out there.

Maddie:  Get some help, Sam.  Try to save yourself from yourself.

Sam:  Whether I'm here or gone, I'll always be in your head, Maddie.

Maddie:  You're wrong, Sam.

Sam:  Look at you, Maddie.  Look what you've become.  Ugly.

Maddie looks at David.

Maddie:  You can talk anytime now, David.

David:  Crawford, get the hell out of our office, now.

Sam rises and heads towards the door.

Sam:  This isn't over.  Someday, sometime……..

David:  Not while I draw breath, Crawford.  Get out!!

Sam yanks open the door, and the eavesdropping employees scatter.  They form a small group and start to sing…….

          Hit the road, Sam, and don't you come back
                        No more, no more, no more, no more
          Hit the road, Sam, and don't you come back
No more.

Agnes walks over to the office, peeks in, flashes a grin, and close the door.

Maddie is leaning forward, two hands on her desk, and shaking.  David comes up behind her and puts his arms around her waist.  She turns, and puts her arms around his neck.

David:  Lady, that was one of the bravest things I've ever seen you do.

Maddie:  It was hard.  But it was right. It's hard to explain…but I kind of felt like a parent today……the responsibility…….Miss Me, Rose…….I liked taking care of them.

David:  You were like a lioness defending her cub.  

Maddie:  Maybe someday…………

David:  Definitely someday……..

They share a smile.

David:  So, isn't there somebody around here who owes me a pizza?

Maddie:  I owe you so much more than a pizza.

David:  Let's start with the pizza.  We've got a long time to tally up the rest.

They kiss for a moment.

David:  C'mon, get the mutt, and let's go home.

Maddie:  Race you to the elevator.

They exit the door as the Moonlighting theme plays.



A hotel banquet room.  The room is filled with large, round tables.  The décor is red white and blue.  There is a stage set up in the front of the room, and a banner is suspended over the stage.  It reads:


David and Maddie stand against the back wall of the ballroom.

David:  Tell me again what we're doing here.

Maddie:  Just making sure Sam is keeping his word.  He's so perverse, I half expected him to try something.

David:  But we talked to Mr. and Mrs. Spencer today.  Rose is safe and sound, back in Chicago.

 Maddie:  Thank goodness.

David:  No, thank Maddie.

She smiles, and takes his hand.

Maddie:  Look at that banner…..if only they knew what kind of a hero he really is.

David:  I like mine with.

Maddie:  With what?

David:  Cheese……..I've got to get you to South Philadelphia, woman.  A steak with…..what a hero.

Maddie:  David

David smiles.

David:  Not that kind of hero, huh?

Maddie:  I'll take mine loyal, trustworthy, ….kinda cracked.

David:  But in the best possible way……

Maddie:  But of course.

David:  Let's get out of here.

Maddie looks towards the stage and whispers to herself.

Maddie:  Bye, Sam.

They walk out as music starts to play, and the credits roll

               Take a look around now
               Change the direction
               Adjust the tuning
               Try a new translation
               Don't look at your man in the same old way
               Take a new picture
               Just because you don't see shooting stars
               Doesn't mean it isn't perfect.
               Can't you see……

               It's the stuff that dreams are made of
               It's the slow and steady fire
               It's the stuff that dreams are made of
               It's your heart and soul's desire
               It's the stuff that dreams are made of

               What if the prince on the horse in your fairytale
               Is right here in disguise
               What if the stars you've been reaching so high for
               Are shining in his eyes.

               Don't look at yourself in the same old way
               Take another picture
               Shoot the stars off in your own backyard
               Don't look any further
               And you will see

               It's the stuff that dreams are made of
               It's the slow and steady fire
               It's the stuff that dreams are made of
               It's your hear and soul's desire
               It's the stuff that dreams are made of
               It's the sails against the sky
               It's the stuff that dreams are made of
               It's the reason we are alive.

                               The end.

                    MUSIC SELECTIONS

               Love Lift Me by Amanda Marshall
Please Don't let Me Be Misunderstood by the Animals
We Could Have It All by Maureen McGovern

Puppy Love by Donny Osmond

Syncopated Clock by the Boston Pops

Ain't No Woman Like the One I Got by The Four Tops

Hit the Road, Sam (sic) by Ray Charles

The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of by Carly Simon

I can't even claim to have written this one alone.  It would never have made it to paper without Lizzie's most talented contributions. I wish I had half your gift.…thanks.  I owe you.

Nancy…..faithful beta…….song expert……friend…….you're the best.

Dana…….patient soul…..I constantly push the envelope…..and you're always supportive.

Hope you all enjoy………………….Bye, Sam!


Nightmare on Maddie's Street