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When Cowgirls Collide

Act I
The scene is Blue Moon Investigations outer office, a Monday morning in early January, 7:00 AM. The office is quiet and dark; no one is in yet, not even Agnes. Soft morning light is filtering through the blinds. Maddie unlocks the door and walks in. She stops at the front desk to pick up the mail, spies a leftover noisemaker sitting next to the phone, and smiles as she thinks of David and their New Year's Eve together as we dissolve…
They are dancing slowly in front of the fireplace at their mountain hideaway to Tina Turner's version of Let's Stay together. The dancing isn't really dancing. It is just the two of them holding each other, slowly rocking back and forth. David is softly singing in Maddie's ear.
David: Since we've been together, loving you forever is what I need…
Maddie: You know this night was close to perfect until you started singing.
David: Hey, just trying to keep you entertained until the main attraction.
Maddie: Which would be?
David: Moi… and toi… Doing that other dance we do so well. Do I have to draw you a picture?
Maddie: If it means you'll stop singing.
David: Oh yeah, I forgot you have no taste in music.
They turn around to the muted television as the ball makes its way down to the New Year.
David: Happy New Year, Blondie.
Maddie: Happy New Year, David.
They share a long, soft kiss. David pulls away and begins to tug her toward the bedroom.
David: Okay, now that that's over, can we get down to the good stuff?
Maddie: David, this is the good stuff. Dancing… you holding me in your arms, soft music, firelight. I guess I'm just not ready to conclude this evening yet.
David: Who's talking about concluding it? I'm talking about broadening it, expanding it, lengthening-
Maddie: I know what you're talking about, David. Everyone knows what you're talking about David. Believe me, we'll get there. But sometimes the anticipation is half the fun.
David: Not for me.
Maddie: It is for me.
David (a grin tugging at his mouth): Oh all right. We need to make resolutions anyway.
They move toward the floor in front of the fire, with its collection of pillows, candles, and what's left of a bottle of champagne.
Maddie: I never make New Year's resolutions. People always make them just to break them.
David: I'm stunned. The queen of control, Madelyn Hayes can't keep a resolution? Well, I can. And I say we resolve to…stay together. No fights. Bantering is fine. Arguing is okay. After all, it's what we do best. But no knock down drag outs, no brawls in malls, no barrages in garages.
Maddie (playfully batting her eyes at him): But if we don't fight, how will we ever make up?
David: You've got a valid point, Ms. Hayes. Scratch that.
He buries his face in her neck.
Maddie: I like the "stay together" part. I do want us to work at…this.
David (mumbling into her hair): That's my kind of work. (Pulls back to look in her face) Okay, how about this. We resolve to be honest with each other. Total honesty. Brutal honesty.
Maddie (with sarcasm): Oh yeah, that's a great idea. You want me to be brutally honest about your hair?
David: I'm not talking about superficial things like looks, Ms. Former Supermodel. I'm talking honesty about feelings, emotions.
Maddie: You don't think we're brutally honest now? Sometimes I think we're too honest about what we're feeling. Ergo, the fights!
David: Ergo? Who's he? Come on Maddie. If we're so honest why did we spend all those years apart? Bad breath?
Maddie: We're honest about our feelings now! We love each other. A year ago, we couldn't have said that!
David: Okay, so this resolution should be a piece of cake. No secrets-
Maddie: Well, that's an easy resolution to keep. I'm always honest with you, David. And I certainly don't keep secrets.
David: Too easy, eh? All right. I've got it. You need to do something you've never done before. Something reckless-
Maddie: Being with you doesn't count?
David: Cute. No, it doesn't count.
Maddie: And what will you do?
David: I'll do something responsible. I'll come in to work on time every day, and I'll work every case with speed and skill.
Maddie: This didn't work in My Fair David, but okay, deal.
As they shake on it the phone rings. Maddie walks over to answer it.
David: I could kill you for forwarding your phone calls.
Maddie: But what if it's Motown calling to finally offer you that contract? Hello…(looks pointedly at David) Annie! (cooly) How nice of you to call. But it's close to 3 AM in Connecticut……Vegas? With Mark?……Me? I decided to keep my New Year's celebration a little low-key this year……David…Yes, Addison…It's a long story…No, I don't think that's a very good idea. It sounds like the two of you are on a second honeymoon……(quietly) Yes, I guess I've missed you too…All right, I promise I'll think about it…You too. Thanks for calling, Annie.
Maddie hangs up the phone and just stands there looking at it. She's obviously deep in thought.
David (vehemently shaking his head): Oh no.
Maddie: What?
David: Uh uh.
Maddie: You probably gathered who that was and where they are. She sounds really happy. She sounds a lot like her old self.
David: No way.
Maddie: Knock it off! They're in Las Vegas. They're going to be there for awhile. Mark's on a job planning a hotel/casino there. She asked if we'd like to join them for a few days. What's wrong with that?
David: No more champagne for you. Maddie think about it. You and me and Annie and her loser-I mean husband-on a vacation together? Are you nuts? Do I have to give you a history lesson? Have you forgotten last Christmas?
Maddie: No, but she really sounded different, David. And she's my cousin and we used to be so close. I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she's changed.
David: Yeah, right. And maybe the pope's a Baptist-
Agnes walks in the front door and flips the light switch, startling Maddie out of her trance.
Agnes: Good morning, Ms. Hayes! What are you doing in the dark?
Maddie: Just getting ready to face the day, Ms. Dipesto. I'm afraid I was woolgathering.
Agnes: Are you taking up knitting?
Maddie: No, I meant I was daydreaming, you know?
Agnes looks at her blankly.
Agnes: Then why were you gathering wool?
Maddie: Never mind, Agnes. I'm going to go through the mail, make a few calls, and then I'm off to the airport.
Agnes: I have your ticket right here.
Maddie: Thank you, Agnes.
Agnes: You're welcome. Well, it's my turn to go downstairs to the bakery to bring back donuts for everyone.
Maddie: Okay, but don't you think it's a little strange that you always get the short straw in the donut draw?
Agnes: Well maybe. But if I didn't go, we'd never have any donuts. Everyone else is so cheap. And it's nice to be depended on for something. I'll be right back.
After Agnes is out the door, Maddie hears a faint noise behind David's office door. She decides to investigate. She walks up to the door and listens. She opens the door slightly and sees David sitting on his couch, animatedly talking to the television.
David: Oh man, you should have gone for door Number Three. Now what are you going to do with an avocado green refrigerator and a `72 Chevy Vega?
Maddie (standing in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest): I don't know which one is worse: Cartoon network or Gameshow network. Honestly David, can you explain to me why you love watching reruns of Let's Make a Deal?
David: Maddie, Maddie, Maddie. You obviously have never discerned the finer points of Monty Hall's strategy to get these people to choose exactly the door that's going to get them zonked every time. The man is a genius! Not to mention a pretty snappy dresser.
Maddie: You would know. (She eyes his attire: undershirt, boxers with fireworks printed on them, black socks)
David: Yeah, you love it.
Maddie: I was hoping you might come over last night but you never showed. Obviously, you stayed here all night. Why?
David : I was doing my job, Ms. Hayes. Being responsible. Mr. Simmons and his friends had an all night poker game. I kept the surveillance equipment on hoping I'd get something about the case, but he never mentioned it.
Maddie (dropping onto the couch): You thought he'd tell all his poker buddies about his mistress? The way this guy's sneaking around? He's being so careful we'll never get anything on him.
David (yawning): Yeah, I wonder if his mistress knows she's his mistress?
Maddie: I for one, wish we had never taken this case.
David (a look of mock surprise on his face): Now where have I heard that before? So…did you miss me last night?
Maddie: Me? Miss you? I had the dog for company.
David: Yeah, but I'm a better kisser.
Maddie: You are improving, I'll give you that much. So what's on tap for today? Does getting dressed enter into the equation?
David: All in good time, Ms. Hayes. Why don't you strip down to your skivvies and join me? No one will be in for another hour. We can get the day off to a good start. It beats eating your Wheaties.
Maddie: Yeah, that could happen. As tempting as that offer is to me, I'm afraid I'll have to take a rain check, David.
David: Well, you'd better have a good excuse.
Maddie: I have two. First off, Agnes is already here and secondly I only came by to look at the mail, then I'm leaving.
David (starts to get dressed): You're really going, huh.
Maddie: I feel like I have to, David. She's family. My mother has been inundating me with questions ever since we had our falling out. I'm going to have to deal with her sooner or later.
David: That doesn't mean I have to deal with her.
Maddie: No, you're right. It doesn't. But I'd really like to try and salvage what's left of our relationship. And if nothing else, I need closure with her.
David: What about our relationship?
Maddie: Our relationship is fine, David.
David: Yeah, but will it stay fine?
Maddie: Do you really think our relationship is that tenuous? You think reconciling with Annie will put an end to you and me? I thought we'd put all that debris behind us. I wish you'd reconsider and come with me. Las Vegas isn't really my kind of town.
David stares at her open-mouthed.
Maddie: I know it's your kind of town. That's why I'd like you to come with me.
David: Sounds great. You, me, Mark and Typhoid Annie. Not exactly the Rat Pack. Not even the Brat Pack. I'll pass. I'd rather listen to Bert wax poetic about his palm pilot all week. Besides, it wouldn't be responsible of me to leave here with this case hanging over our heads now, would it?
Maddie: I can't believe you're passing on your favorite destination resort, but if that's the way you feel then that's that. I'll see you in three days. That's three long days, Addison.
David: And three even longer nights, Ms. Hayes.
Maddie: Yes. Nights that could be spent dining, dancing, seeing shows-
David: If you're trying to convince me to come with you, you're cold.
Maddie: How about a romantic suite at the Bellagio with a jacuzzi spa overlooking the lakes and fountains of Tuscany-well, what passes for Tuscany in Las Vegas.
David: You're getting warmer…
Maddie: A king size bed…
David: warmer…
Maddie: Me waiting for you in the king size bed…
David: Mmm, very warm…
Maddie: Room service…
David: Lukewarm.
Maddie: Did I mention the jacuzzi?
David: Yep.
Maddie: Zigfried and Roy?
David: Ice cold.
Maddie: Well, what is it, David? What do you need me to say to convince you to come with me?
David smiles and looks her up and down. Maddie scowls at him for a moment, then a look of understanding mixed with dread comes over her face.
Maddie: You don't mean-
David: Yep. Something reckless…something we've had numerous bedroom discussions about, something that you've never done-
Maddie: I can't David. I find it sickening. I'll throw up.
David: Come on, Maddie. You've never done it! You should do it at least once in your lifetime. I bet Annie's doing it with Mark right now.
Maddie: I just can't David.
David: For me?
Maddie: I don't know…
David: It would mean so much to me, Maddie.
Maddie: But it frightens me, David.
David: I'll be there holding your hand.
Maddie: You mean holding my head-in your lap!
David: Whatever. Come on Maddie. Just once. Then you get bragging rights over Agnes.
Maddie: Agnes has done it?
David: Maddie, Agnes does it all the time.
Maddie: With Bert?!
David: Nah, but she's done it with MacGillicuddy.
Maddie: I guess maybe I could…
David: Sure you could. And I would love to be the first person to do it with you.
Maddie: Okay, David. I'll do it. But just this once. Never again. I mean it! God, I'm getting nauseous just thinking about it.
David: Maddie, it's only the roller coaster at the Stratosphere. I'll have Agnes call the airline, book another ticket and put us on a later flight so I can pack a few things. Do you think we can get her to look after the pooch…
He looks at the camera as they are walking out of his office.
David: What did you people think we were talking about?
The Scene: Later that morning, on the plane. Maddie is in the window seat looking out. David is looking at the in-flight magazine at the entertainment section for Las Vegas.
David: You know, Zigfried and Roy never did much for me. Must be that whole bestiality thing. (He turns a page in the magazine.) Jeez! Tina's playing Vegas!
Maddie: Could you keep your voice down please. People get a little nervous about nitwits yelling on airplanes these days. Look her up when we get there. Maybe she'll let you sing back up for her.
David: Yeah, one look at these legs and she wouldn't be able to resist me.
Maddie: That's right, David. You, Monty Hall and the common cold. You're all irresistible.
David: So you finally admit it.
Maddie: Admit what?
David: You can't resist me.
Maddie: Nothing a little penicillin can't cure. Who are you calling?
David is attempting to make a call on the airphone.
David: I'm calling the MGM to see if we can get reservations for Tina.
Maddie: Can't it wait until we're on the ground? You don't know what Mark and Annie have planned for us yet.
David (putting the phone back): I can't wait to find out.
Maddie: David, could you please try to be civil to her?
David: I'll try but if she makes any moves on me-
Maddie: Oh please! With her husband right there?
David: He was right there last Christmas. It didn't stop her from putting the moves on Richie.
They begin talking at the same time:
Maddie: I don't think so. Besides, I know Annie pretty well. She's not as vindictive as you seem to think. She said she has a surprise for me and she sounded very excited and happy when she called on New Year's Eve.
David: She must be nuts. I bet she's figured out a way to kill me and not get caught. If I know Annie she has me scheduled as the main course at the Mirage shark aquarium.
Maddie: It's all about you, isn't it David. You're so full of yourself, Mr. Irresistible. Maybe it's the other way around. Maybe you can't resist her.
David brings her hand up to his lips and kisses her fingertips.
David: There's only one woman in the universe I can't resist.
Maddie's irritation dissolves instantly and she smiles at him lovingly.
David (going for the phone again): Tina.
Maddie (shaking her hand away): Thanks a lot.
David: I just don't trust her.
Maddie: Tina?
David: I know she wants revenge on me.
Maddie: Revenge? I doubt it.
David: I don't.
Maddie: You don't get it, do you? I really didn't want to go down this road again, but I think you're totally off base about her, David. Poor Annie. I don't think she ever saw it coming.
David: Saw what coming?
Maddie: You! She comes to LA for an innocent visit with her cousin and winds up getting broadsided by the David Addison Seduction Brigade. I think you really hurt her. And I think that goes a long way in explaining why she acted the way she did last Christmas.
David: Hey, wait a minute. What road is this, Alzheimer's Lane? What's with the "poor Annie" crap? She's a big girl. She's capable of making her own decisions. Besides, she was the one that was married, not me. I hurt her? I think I was just a convenient excuse for her to step out on her husband and end her marriage.
Maddie: Which, if you recall, she did not do. She went back to Mark. They've had a rough time the last couple of years but they're working things out. There's something to be said for that kind of commitment.
David: When you talk about Annie and commitment in the same sentence all I can picture is her in a strait jacket. Why are you sticking up for her Maddie? You should have heard some of the things she said before she left me.
Maddie: Such as?
Dissolve to Annie and David in a scene from Little Problem Annie (Season Six):
… "You were never going to get what you wanted with Maddie."
"Can we stop talking about Maddie, please?"
"I thought you wanted the white picket fence and the station wagon. So do I David. I can make you happy David, she can't. I want to marry you, David. She doesn't. I can have your children David…."
David snaps back to the present.
David: Never mind. Great, we're not even there yet and you're already eyeballing me like I'm slime. Oh, yeah, we're just fine.
Maddie: Now I am having second thoughts about this trip. Maybe I should keep the two of you apart. I'd hate for something to slip and Mark find out something she doesn't want him to know.
David: I disagree. Maybe it would be better if we just all came clean. Tell him exactly what happened. I think the poor schmuck deserves to know the truth.
Maddie: Don't you dare, David.
David appears to be ignoring her as he puts on his headphones and starts singing while she continues to berate him:
David: Honesty… is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard and mostly what I need from you…
Maddie: I mean it, David. Not a word. Not a syllable.
Maddie slumps back in her seat and looks back out the window, and David sits with his eyes closed, smirk on his face, listening to his headphones.
Act II
The scene: David and Maddie sit in a crowded, dimly lit cocktail lounge decorated to look like an old Italian village. David has a beer, Maddie a glass of wine and she is looking around the bar. Maddie is in awe.
Maddie: This looks just like a place I stayed in Italy when I was on a shoot. I can't believe how authentic…and romantic this place is.
David (listlessly): Yeah, but it's still Vegas. If you listen you can hear the bells going off on the slots upstairs.
Maddie: What's with you? I thought this was your town? I thought you loved it here. You used to spend all your lost weekends here as I recall.
David: Not all of them. I had a circuit. San Diego to Tijuana to… where was that place again? (Perking up) Then there was that one little jaunt down to Buenos Aires that could have been a lost weekend except the big blonde I was with wouldn't play.
Maddie (smiling, whispering in his ear): Well, she's playing now.
He smiles back at her when a voice comes out of the darkness behind them.
Annie: So, you two are back together. I could have made money on that bet.
David: Every once in awhile a longshot comes in.
Maddie and David give each other a warning glance, sit back in their seats and turn around, taking deep breaths and gearing up to greet the Charnocks. They see Annie standing alone, her arms crossed over her chest, a frown on her face. Mark comes up behind her, wraps an arm around her midriff and her expression changes instantly into a smile.
Annie: Maddie, David! How are you?
She wraps Maddie in a hug and eyes David suspiciously.
Maddie: We're fine, Annie.
Annie: Honey, would you get me a club soda please?
She waits for her husband to leave before she leans down to speak. Her demeanor is much more aggressive out of his presence.
Annie: Look, the last time I saw you two I got drunk and stupid. I'm not going to let that happen again. David, you need to know that I'm very happy in my marriage and I'm not going to jeopardize it. And I won't let you jeopardize it either.
David: What the hell are you talking about?
Annie: Just what I said. Please don't say anything that would let on that you and I were…involved.
David: I wouldn't dream of it. Sure as God made little green apples, you're-that's-the last thing I'd dream of.
Maddie: David, behave yourself.
Annie: It's all right, Maddie. I've got his number.
David: Oh, you do, huh. Would you give it back please?
Maddie: David…
Annie: Really, David. I wish you'd grow up.
David: If I did that, Maddie wouldn't kiss my boo boos and make them better.
Maddie: Shut up, David!
David: Ooh, that's right. Wouldn't want to upset her. She may not have had her medication today.
Angrily, Maddie stands up, pulls him out of his chair by his collar and takes him aside.
Maddie: I mean it, David. I need to work this out with her. And since you're here with me that requires your cooperation. Please.
David: Maddie, I warned you about this. I don't know what it is about her-
Maddie: But she brings out the worst in you. How well I know it. And you're doing your best to support my theory that the phrase "adult male" is a contradiction in terms. Please try to rise to the occasion.
He smirks and starts to open his mouth to respond.
Maddie: Don't say it! Don't even think it, David. I'm warning you.
David: Oh, all right. It's all out of my system now anyway. I promise I'll be good.
Maddie: You better!
They sit back down at the table across from Annie, who is now shaking her head slowly back and forth. David slumps down in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest.
Annie: God, I wish Mark had never suggested this.
Maddie: Why didn't you just tell him no?
Annie: He's seen how you and I used to be and how we've been ever since that visit two years ago. If I had told him I didn't want to see you then he'd know for sure that something was wrong between you and me. And that would start another fight…
And Maddie, I can't move forward with my life until I fix what's wrong between us. I want that more than anything.
Annie puts her hand over Maddie's and smiles at her sincerely. Maddie softens but tells her sternly:
Maddie: I do too, Annie. I'm glad you called, but if you really want to work this out you're going to need to try a little harder than this. You need to accept that David and I are together.
Maddie looks back and forth between the two of them sulking. She feels like she is the only one big enough to get beyond their shared past. She attempts to lighten the topic of conversation.
Maddie: I don't know. Maybe I should have left this one (cocks her head in David's direction) at home. He has a knack for getting himself into trouble.
Annie: Yeah, I remember the stories you used to tell me. Remember how we used to laugh over the phone for hours?
Maddie: Well, David always has provided plenty of topics for discussion. There was this case once, with this little old man in a nursing home who wanted us to witness his murder…
Annie: How awful.
Maddie: Yes, isn't it? Of course, I didn't want to take the case, but David…
She rolls her eyes in his direction.
Annie: Don't tell me. He went through with it?
David gestures for the cocktail waitress.
David: Can I get a bottle of Tequila over here, please?
Cocktail Waitress: You mean a shot, sir?
David: No. I mean the bottle-with the worm.
Maddie (to Annie): One of your ex-boyfriends I presume.
Annie: I sure know how to pick em.
Maddie: Must be a family trait.
The women giggle, suddenly feeling that old camaraderie returning.
David (Testily): Hey, ladies. What am I, invisible?
Maddie: Sorry David.
Annie: Yes, sorry David.
Mark: Boy, this bar is busy. Sorry about what?
Maddie: Annie and I were just catching up and leaving David out of the conversation.
Mark: Get used to it David. When these two are together it's hard to get a word in edgewise.
David (sullen once again): Or lengthwise or any other wise.
Annie: Hey, I resent that. We sometimes allow you men to talk. When we think you have something intelligent to say.
She looks around the table playfully.
Annie: So… It's pretty quiet at this table. Why don't we go shopping Maddie? Leave these two to their own devices.
Maddie: That sounds dangerous to me, Annie.
David: Yeah, you going shopping sounds dangerous to me too.
Maddie: Annie, we need to find out where all the police stations and bailbondsmen are located before we go.
David: Hey, this is Vegas. There's a bailbondsman on every corner. Right next to the neighborhood strip joint.
Maddie (burying her face in her hands): Oh God.
David: You know I didn't get any sleep last night. I think if it's all the same to you, I'll go up to the room and take a nap. (Maddie looks at him with an expression of shock on her face.) Maybe Mark and I can get filthy drunk, go gambling and pick up some hookers later on. Okay with you, Mark?
They laugh after a short but awkward silence as a cocktail waitress dressed in a very short roman toga approaches the table with a bottle of champagne.
David (under his breath as the waitress walks away): I didn't know togas came equipped with wonder bras.
Maddie glares at him.
Maddie: Apparently they do in this town. (pointing at the champagne) What's this? Does this have anything to do with the surprise you told me about on the phone, Annie?
Mark: We're celebrating! (He looks down at Annie, who is staring down at the table.) Do you want to tell them or do you want me to? (Annie lifts her hand to Mark.) We're pregnant! Sorry, honey bun, no champagne for you.
Neither Maddie nor David says anything for a moment.
Maddie: Congratulations you two. Annie, I'm so happy for you. (She hugs Annie.)
Annie: Thanks, Maddie.
Maddie: David, isn't that wonderful news?
David: Yeah, it's wonderful. (mumbling to himself) Wonderful that it'll keep her busy for the next twenty years.
Mark: I didn't catch that, David.
David: I said you guys are going to be pretty busy for the next few years.
Mark: Yes, but we're really looking forward to it. We've wanted to start a family for years. I can't believe we waited this long.
Maddie: Me either.
Annie: What do you mean by that?
Maddie: Nothing…I just meant that I know you've always wanted children.
Annie: And I'm not getting any younger, right?
Maddie: None of us are, Annie. Honestly, I'm just happy for you.
Annie: I'm sorry I snapped. Must be my hormones.
David (mumbling): Or you need to take your crazy pill.
Mark: It's too noisy in here. I missed that again, David.
David (yelling): I said: A baby, what a thrill!
Maddie: Well, maybe we should start that shopping excursion right now. Don't they have a baby store here somewhere? Let's go look.
Annie: Are you sure you're up for that Maddie?
Maddie: Of course, why wouldn't I be?
Annie: Well, it's just… you know. That maybe…well, I'm sure you'll be a mother too someday.
David rolls his eyes; Maddie feels like she's just been sucker punched.
Maddie (gritting her teeth): When the time is right. Sure.
David (mumbling): God, Annie. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
Mark (yelling): What?
David: I said this table's made of granite…
The Scene: Annie and Maddie inside a very chic baby store. Annie is talking a mile a minute. Maddie is barely listening. She looks at the price of a crib comforter and has to stop herself from whistling out loud.
Annie: Actually, I feel pretty good. I get a little nauseous every now and then and cucumbers give me heartburn but other than that-boy, this is nothing like the last time.
Maddie (suddenly very in tune with what Annie is saying): What last time?
Annie: Huh? Um…Oh, that's right. You didn't know. We weren't really speaking then. It happened after-I mean about two years ago… I had a miscarriage.
Maddie: When exactly did you have this miscarriage?
Annie: You want the exact date? I don't remember exactly.
Maddie: Funny, I remember exactly the date that I-I think most women would remember.
Annie: Well, I just decided to put it out of my mind. I decided it wasn't meant to be so I shouldn't dwell on it forever.
She sighs and relents when she sees Maddie's intense glare.
Annie: It was late summer.
Maddie: After your visit with me. And after your affair with David. Soon after your affair with David.
Annie: Maddie, keep your voice down please. I know what you are thinking and you're wrong. I was very careful with David. This happened two or three months after I went back home.
Maddie: So what was it? Two months or three? And why did Mark say you hadn't started trying to have a family until now? Could it be that he didn't know about that pregnancy?
Annie: God, Maddie, what's with the third degree? Even if it was David's, and I'm not saying it was, I didn't have it so what does it matter?
Maddie: It matters, Annie. Was it really a miscarriage?
Annie: What are you saying?
Maddie: Did you miscarry or did you terminate the pregnancy because you didn't know who the father was?
Annie: You didn't know whose baby you were having either and that didn't stop you.
Reacting without thinking, Maddie slaps her across the face. All conversation and movement in the shop comes to a halt as the other customers in the shop stare at them.
Maddie: You've been acting like a spoiled little brat all afternoon. Now tell me the truth.
Annie (rubbing the side of her face, tears welling): You hit me! I'm pregnant and you hit me. I don't believe this. You hit a pregnant woman.
Maddie: Believe it babe. You've been asking for it. Now are you going to tell me or should I ask Mark?
Annie's eyes widen.
Annie: Okay. Look. I wasn't sure. David and I…well, I was very careful but… you must know how he is. Morning, noon and night.
Maddie: I don't need you to tell me how David is. I know him much better than you ever will. And I think that fact is very upsetting to you, even though you have a husband who, for some unknown reason, loves you and wants to make a life with you. You better think about that, Annie. AND GROW UP!
Maddie storms out of the store, Annie and the other customers ogling her as she goes.
The Scene: Maddie and David's hotel suite. Maddie unlocks the door with her keycard and quietly opens the door. David lies asleep on the king size bed on top of the opulent bedspread. She approaches him and looks down at him while he snores. She looks at his open mouth with a little trail of drool puddling on the pillow under his head. An uncontrollable warmth overcomes her, and she's disarmed by her feelings for him. Her own words from New Year's Eve ring in her ears:
Well, that's an easy resolution to keep. I don't lie to you David. And I certainly don't keep secrets…
She continues to look down at him for awhile, thinking about the bombshell that Annie has just dropped on her. She and David have both been through so much to get to this point together. And he's lived through two pregnancies that ended in tragedy. He needs to know that it's possible there was a third. Maybe there's a problem… Maybe he needs to be tested… He needs to be told. But not now. This trip has been disastrous enough without adding to it. Who cares about the damn New Year's resolution? But she can't stay here either, pretending that nothing is wrong.
She touches his face tenderly as unexpected tears poise to spill down her cheeks. David stirs and Maddie moves toward the bathroom.
David: Goldilocks, is that you? Or is it the maid coming back for more?
Maddie can be heard blowing her nose in the bathroom.
Maddie: Very funny, David. You're the only person I know who has a one liner ready the moment he wakes up.
David (stretching): When you're good, you're good. So what did you buy me?
Maddie: Buy? For you?
David: Yeah, you know for a souvenir. The shirt with the donkey on it that says I lost my ass in Las Vegas? Or a wall clock made out of dice?
Maddie: David this is the Bellagio. The shops here are named Prada, Gucci, Chanel. I doubt they have any tacky t shirts or dice clocks. Sorry.
David: So did you at least buy me a little something from Armani?
Maddie: I didn't buy anything, David. I just window-shopped.
David: Too bad. I was going to take you to Tiffany's after dinner, but if you didn't buy me anything…oh well.
He listens to the water running in the bathroom and Maddie bustling around.
David: Hey, you know Mark and I sat at the bar and talked for awhile after you left. He's a pretty nice guy. He and Annie seem happy about this kid. Hey, Maddie. Did you hear me? I'm starting to think this trip wasn't such a bad idea after all. If we could just get Annie to shut up. Hey, how `bout we ditch her. Maddie? Why are you hiding out in the bathroom? What's the matter?
Maddie: Nothing. Well…not nothing. I guess… I'm upset…because I've realized Annie and I will never be close again. It's sad for me, that's all.
David: Well, you still have me. Maybe I'm a little too butch to be your best girlfriend, but hey, maybe a little make up, a short skirt-
Maddie (Sticks her head out the bathroom door): A perm? Let's go home, David. This isn't working out.
She comes out of the bathroom carrying her cosmetic bag, which she shoves into her suitcase.
David (sitting up, alarmed): What did she say to you? Was it that crack in the bar? Did she rub this whole pregnancy thing in your face? Because if she did, I'll kill her.
Maddie: No David. I don't need you to come to my rescue. I'm fine. I just want to go home. Did you unpack anything?
David: Just the important stuff.
He shows her the box of condoms on the nightstand, then he starts whining:
David: But we didn't get to ride the roller coaster yet. We didn't get to order room service. And most importantly, we didn't get to try out the bed.
Maddie: I'm sorry, David. I'll go downstairs and check us out while you pack.
David: Are you sure, Maddie?
Maddie: I'm sure. Meet me at the front of the hotel when you're done.
The Scene: Lobby of the Bellagio. Maddie and David are heading for the taxi stand at the front of the hotel with their luggage. Mark comes running up to them.
Mark: She's gone.
David: And this surprises you because...
Mark: She was very upset. She just took off in the rental car.
Maddie (apprehensively): Did she say what happened to upset her?
Mark: No. She made a phone call. She started whispering, hung up the phone and said she was leaving. No explanations. That was an hour ago. Will you help me look for her?
David: In Vegas? A million people live here, man. It's like looking for a raving lunatic in a haystack.
Maddie: David...
David: Sorry.
Mark: Annie may be a little troubled and impulsive but I've loved her for a long time. I know her. She's run off before, like when she went to LA. I guess I'm paranoid when it comes to my wife, but you have to admit, I have reason to be.
Maddie: It's only been an hour, Mark. She probably just needs some attention. Okay, we'll wait in your room for her to come back. When she does, we're leaving.
The Scene: The Charnock's hotel room, two hours later. Mark is lying on the bed. Maddie is standing beside the window looking at the street below and David is next to her at the table, drumming his fingers impatiently on the tabletop.
Mark: The last two years have been pretty hard for Annie. After she met that guy in LA… even though she came back to me, that affair has always been between us. And if I try to talk to her about it, or suggest counseling she clams up and walks away. She's tried to push it all away, but you know what happens if you don't really deal with something.
David (looking pointedly at Maddie): It drives you CRAZY.
Maddie glares back at him momentarily.
Maddie: Where could she have gone, Mark?
Mark: I have no idea. Which reminds me, why were you two leaving? Did something happen between you and Annie?
Maddie: No. Something came up at the office… a break on a case, which requires our attention-
David: Hey, I just thought of something. That rental car, did it have one of those satellite locating systems?
Mark: A GPS? Yes, it did.
Maddie: But that just tells you directions.
David: It also tells the rental car company where the car is. If we call and report it stolen-
Mark: And get her arrested? I don't think so.
David: Maybe Bert could help us out. I'll call him.
David makes a call to Bert in LA explaining the situation and asking if there's anything he can do from there. We hear lots of "uh huhs", David starts pacing and rolling his eyes at Maddie.
David: Bert, Bert, the geek-free version please…What's a fire wall?…Uh huh…Bert...does this involve hacking?…Okay, give it a shot, Mr. Viola, but if the FBI shows up at the office, I disavow all knowledge of it.
Mark: I just thought of something. I think I heard her say something about Tonopah during her phone conversation.
David: What the hell is Tonopah?...What Bert?…okay, thank you Mr. Viola, once again I bow to your mastery over world geography and useless knowledge. Let's forget about the illegal hacking activities for now.
He hangs up.
Maddie: Well?
David: Tonopah is a small mining town about 250 miles north of Vegas. Mark, you could be there in about three, four hours. (Looks over at Maddie) And we could be home in about the same time.
Maddie: Home?
David: Or not.
Maddie goes into take charge mode.
Maddie: Mark, do you have a photo of Annie in your wallet?
Mark: Yes.
Maddie: Good. Give it to me. I think you should stay here in case she comes back. David and I can go to this town and see if we can find her. Does this town have an airport?
David: How should I know. I've never even heard of it. Call Bert and ask him.
Maddie: Well, it's always possible that she'll catch a plane for Connecticut. Mark call everyone you know and tell them to call you here if she shows up. We'll be in touch when we get to...whatever it's called.
The Scene: On the road to Tonopah. Maddie is driving the rental car. David is in the passenger seat fiddling with the car radio.
David: Maddie, tell me something for future reference. Does insanity run in your family?
She takes her eyes off the road briefly to scowl at him.
David: I was just wondering. Maybe she fell out of the family tree and hit her head. Why the hell can't I find a decent station?
Maddie: Look around. We're in the middle of nowhere. I'm amazed you can find anything on the radio. Why don't you just turn it off?
Suddenly the radio blares a country song:
Good bye, Eaaaaarrrrrrl!
David: Oh man, what's that?
Maddie: I thought you knew everything there was to know about music, David. That's the Dixie Chicks.
David: The Dixie Hicks? That's not music. That's someone killing a cat with a fiddle.
Maddie: Just turn it off then.
David: Good idea. I'll serenade you while you drive. (in a redneck twang) All this sand and sagebrush makes me want to sing you a song about my pick up truck.
Maddie: On second thought...
David: Mom, are we there yet? I have to pee.
Maddie (looking heavenward): What did I do to deserve this?
David: You volunteered our services to find your kooky cousin, that's what. So for that, you get to be hassled and abused.
Maddie: And I get to drive in this heat too? How can I resist an offer like that?
David: Oh, all right, I'll throw in all the sex you want. But you have to promise to want a lot.
She rolls her eyes in his direction again.
David: When I think about what we could be doing right now: riding roller coasters, seeing Tina live in concert. And do I even need to mention what we could be doing to each other right now? But no, here we are in the boonies tracking down little loony Annie.
(mumbling to himself as he pushes the seek button on the car stereo) Man, they have secret air bases and 400 UFO sightings a day out here, but not one decent radio station. I don't get it.
Seriously, Maddie, what if we find her and her head starts spinning around?
Maddie: Oh brother…
Late that night, they pull into a one-stoplight town where the one stoplight is not working. They drive up and down the grid of streets that cross the highway until they find themselves on the outskirts of town.
David: Wow! That's gotta be a record. We saw the whole place in just under six minutes.
Maddie: Thank you for the travel log of Tonopah, David. Where do you think we should start looking for her? I don't see any cars on the street that look like her rental car. I'm at a loss as to where we should go from here.
David: I think we should start by finding a place to stay tonight.
Maddie: That should be pretty easy. I saw only one motel.
David: Just a no-tell motel.
Maddie: As long as it has a bed.
David: And "magic fingers".
Maddie: And no cockroaches.
David: Hey, you really want a lot.
Maddie: Let's go.
David: You're the driver, Kimo Sabi.
The Scene: A room at the Sugar Pine Inn. Which is basically a queen-sized bed, a TV set, and bathroom along with the built in scent of disinfectant. David and Maddie enter their room and drop their suitcases on the floor.
David: Not exactly the Bellagio.
Maddie: I'm so beat I don't exactly give a damn.
David: We can still go back you know.
Maddie: No we can't. You stole the towels. We're hot.
David: I like the sound of that.
David bounces on the bed, then grabs the remote for the TV.
David: I wonder if they have dirty movies.
Maddie: Give me a break.
David: Then let's go eat.
Maddie: It's too late. I'm tired. I just want to get cleaned up, go to bed and get an early start in the morning.
David: You wanna take a shower? I'll give you a complete tour of the bath, madam, and I'll even lend my back scrubbing services free of charge.
Maddie (angrily): I'll bet you will. You and that one-track mind of yours. We're here on serious business, Addison. I'm really worried about Annie.
He pulls her to him, hugs her and begins to rub her back.
David: I'm sorry, Maddie. I know you're worried about her. So am I.
She gives him a dubious look.
David: No, really I am. But I have to be honest with you. I get the distinct impression that she doesn't want to be found.
Maddie: Maybe not, but her erratic behavior warrants at least an attempt to find her, David. Besides, Mark is counting on us.
David (pulling out of the embrace to face her): You mean he's counting on you-to save the day-
Maddie: What do you mean by that?
David: Nothing. I meant nothing. I'm tired too. (He pulls her close again and whispers in her ear) Now about that shower…
Maddie: I can't believe you!
He continues to rub her back, but plants a few well-placed kisses around her neck.
Maddie (succumbing to his touch): Although… I suppose we'd save water if we both got in there. And water is precious out here in the desert.
David: That's very true. We'd be doing it for the environment.
Maddie: True. Well, if it's for the environment...
The Scene: The next morning, someone is banging on the motel room door at seven o'clock. David looks over at the alarm clock, groans and stumbles out of bed to open up, his hair still a mess from the night. He appears at the door in his t-shirt and boxers, one sock on, one sock off.
Maddie (cheerfully): Sorry, I forgot my key. You look terrible, David. I got up early and went for a brisk walk. It really helped to clear my head.
David: Good, then you must be thinking it's time to check out and go home.
Maddie: One thing about the boonies. The air is clean and the sky is so blue-What? We're not going home. I have a feeling we're going to be very successful today, David. You should have gotten up and come with me. Sounds like you could use a little attitude adjustment yourself. And this is the best time of day to exercise.
David: God will someday strike you dead for this kind of behavior, Maddie.
Maddie: Come on, sleepy head. Get dressed. I'll drive again.
David (yawning): If you drive, we might survive.
Maddie: So I'll drive. C'mon, c'mon, let's go.
He turns back to the room and she slaps him on the butt.
David (looks into the camera): Christ, it's like having a coach…
He turns away and closes the door.
The Scene: Irene's Diner, the same morning. The diner is busy and bright, with green formica counters, green plastic booths lining the walls and checked curtains in the windows. Very fifties. Music is coming from somewhere. Country music, of course.
Cowboy, take me away…
David: Calgon, take me away. Is that the Pixie Sticks again? God, haven't these people ever heard of R & B?
Maddie: It's just the writer messing with you. You know these women love to do that.
David: Well, she better knock it off or I'll go on virtual strike.
Maddie: Boy, you're pretty surly this morning.
David: That's because this road trip is going to be a total waste of time. Come on Maddie, what would Annie be doing in a town like this? Mark must have misunderstood her. After breakfast, let's check out of here and get back to civilization.
Maddie: I wouldn't feel right about leaving until we've at least shown her picture around. Maybe getting a little food in you will help your disposition.
David: I know what could help my disposition. We could go back to the room and I could show you the shower again.
Maddie (smiles): That's not a bad idea; I only got part of the tour last night.
David: Did we get to the soap on a rope?
Maddie: I don't believe we did…
A waitress approaches their booth, laughing and joking with some locals sitting at another table. Maddie and David don't notice her immediately since their faces are buried behind their menus.
Waitress (talking cheerfully to the other booth): So, you two are back together. I could have made money on that bet. (to Maddie and David) Good morning, folks! Should I bring you some water? How about coffee?
Maddie and David slap their menus down on the table and stare at each other, wide eyed.
Waitress: Coffee?
They look up at her simultaneously, still not speaking. The waitress is very young, pretty and innocent looking. Her bright smile turns to confusion then to understanding.
Waitress: Oh! You don't understand English. She holds up the coffee pot and points toward their cups. They nod at her. She pours two cups of coffee, looking at each of them nervously.
Waitress (speaking very loudly and slowly, performing exaggerated sign language as she speaks): I'll let you look at the menus some more and I'll come back for your order.
She walks away, smiling nervously.
Maddie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
David: That I've heard that voice before? Seen that face before? This is Area 51 country. Do you think we've stepped into a parallel universe?
Maddie: More likely we've found the reason Annie came to Tonopah. I think it's very likely that someone who's related to Annie is waiting on us.
David: Related how?
Maddie: Well…You don't think…
David: She's your cousin, you grew up with her. What do you think?
Maddie: Well, there was that one summer when she was around sixteen or seventeen and Annie's parents were having marital problems. Annie and her mother left home and were gone for about six months.
David: Long enough for Annie to have a baby then come back home like nothing had ever happened. How old do you think this girl is?
The waitress comes back to their table, ready for another round of menu charades.
Maddie: I think we're ready to order now.
Waitress: Oh, you do speak English.
David (smiling broadly): Not until after that first sip of coffee. And you serve a mighty fine cup of coffee here. In fact, I'm feeling downright talkative now. So what's the specialty of the house? How good are the waffles? How old are you anyway?
Waitress: The special is country biscuits and gravy, the waffles are great and I'm fifteen, sir.
Maddie: Thank you. He'll have the waffles and I'll have some eggs and whole wheat toast please.
Waitress: Coming right up.
She eyes them both warily and walks away to place their order.
Maddie: Well, that was smooth. Don't scare her David.
David: Why would she be scared of me?
Maddie: I don't know. Could it be that lecherous grin?
David: Maddie I'm not going to bring out the "seduction brigade" for a fifteen year old. I'm not into jailbait. Besides, you wore me out last night. I'm not going to be any good to any woman for at least another-
Maddie: Minute and a half. Yeah, right, David. Get serious. Annie must be here. But maybe we've just seen why she doesn't want to be found. I think we should follow Jenny when she leaves here. She could lead us right to Annie.
David: Boy you're loving this, aren't you. And who's Jenny? And what's the point of following her? What are you going to say if we do find Annie? That you found out her little family secret? Man, I thought my family was dysfunctional.
Maddie: Jenny is the waitress. I read it on her name tag, Sherlock. And my family is not dysfunctional. If Annie had a baby out of wedlock, no one would have disowned her. I come from a very understanding family.
David: Uh huh. I'm sure the upstanding Hayes family would have understood. And probably made a martyr out of her. Set her up as an example of what not to do with your life. Just like you were the perfect example of what to do.
Maddie: Me? What does this have to do with me? You think Annie kept this secret because of me?
David: Well, you have to admit it must have been pretty difficult growing up in the shadow of the beautiful, perfect angel, Maddie Hayes.
Maddie: I don't claim to be perfect, David. I never have. And you know better than anyone that I'm no angel.
David: No, but I bet you're the one that all the relatives want to have their picture taken with. The one they fight over to have at their table at wedding receptions or family reunions.
That last comment stung. Probably because she sees the truth in it.
Maddie: That's enough. Why are you suddenly sticking up for Annie?
David: I guess I'm just seeing her from a different perspective. Maybe she has her reasons for being crazy. As someone who's been knocked down by the shine off that halo once or twice myself I can relate to why she'd want to keep something like this a secret.
Maddie: Halo? Hardly.
David: Okay, so maybe halo is the wrong accessory. Maybe it's a magic wand, maybe it's a broom stick, but whatever it is, you got it and she ain't. And she knows it.
Maddie: You're being ridiculous. And we are jumping to conclusions. We don't know anything for certain. I say we follow this girl and see where she goes after work. She might lead us right to my wayward cousin.
The Scene: Maddie and David's rental car, early afternoon. They are parked across the street and around the corner from the back of the diner, waiting for the waitress to end her shift.
Maddie (stretching in her seat): I'm starting to feel this in my back.
David: Yeah, you're getting too old for this kind of thing.
Maddie: And the glare off your forehead is giving me a headache.
Oh-here she comes.
The young waitress gets into a beat up old Toyota and drives away, toward the edge of town.
She drives about five miles down the highway then pulls onto a dirt road with a sign and an arrow pointing down the road. David pulls off the highway.
Maddie: What are you doing? We'll lose her.
David: I don't think so. There's only one place at the end of this road. See, there's only one mailbox on the fence.
Maddie: Well, we still need to follow her to see if Annie's at the end of that road.
David: If Annie's down there I'm not sure you want to find out.
Maddie: What are you talking about David?
David: Look, Maddie. I just don't think you want to go down that road. The mailbox says the Gold Hill Ranch. Just like the billboard we saw when we drove into town last night.
Maddie: I was driving, not reading billboards.
David: This is not the kind of ranch with cows and pigs and Aunt Bea in the kitchen making apple pie.
Maddie: Well, what other kind of ranch is there?
David: There's another kind of ranching that's legal in these parts.
Maddie: Quit being so obtuse, David.
David: It's a brothel, Maddie.
Maddie: Well, Annie surely wouldn't be at a brothel. She's pregnant, for God's sake!
David: Well, this is where Jenny led us. I'd better go and check it out.
Maddie: Oh no. I'm not staying in the car.
David: But you'd just cause a stir. The girls would all be jealous. The men would be throwing money at you. Let me just peek in and ask a few questions.
He turns the car down the dirt road.
Maddie: Not without me, you're not…
The Scene: The interior of the Gold Hill Ranch. It is a dark, smoke-filled bar with pictures of nude women lining the red wallpapered walls. A few scantilly clad young women stand around a couple of truckers. A heavily made-up older woman is behind the bar leafing through a magazine. David and Maddie approach her.
David: Look Maddie, we're in Dodge City. There's Miss Kitty. Excuse me, ma'am, I'm looking for a woman.
Maddie rolls her eyes.
Maddie: Very funny, David. We're looking for a specific woman. Here's her picture.
Madam: She's very pretty. Just like you, Honey.
Maddie: Thank you. Have you seen her? We just want to talk to her. Her husband is very worried about her.
The madam studies the picture for a moment, then goes back to her magazine.
Madam: Sorry, I've never seen her around here. Maybe her husband should stop worrying. Maybe she'll be back in a day or two.
Maddie: Well, it's really difficult to tell him to stop worrying about her if we can't find her and talk to her ourselves.
David (in a conspiratorial whisper): She has a history of erratic behavior.
Maddie glares at him.
Madam: I'm sure she's fine.
Maddie: How can you possibly know that if you've never seen her? Besides we have reason to believe she's here.
Madam: Well, she's not.
Maddie: But how-
The madam interrupts her by grabbing her hand and looking very piercingly at her.
Madam: I bet she just needs to lay low for awhile for whatever reason. And I bet she wants to handle things alone.
Maddie: I see… Well thank you very much, and perhaps if you do meet her, you'll let her know her cousin is staying at the Sugar Pine Motel for one more night and would really like to talk to her.
David: We'll just be moseyin' along now, Miss Kitty.
The Scene: Back in Tonopah, around dusk. The Little Ale'Inn Bar. The neon sign on the outside buzzes incessantly and works only sporadically. The interior is dark and empty of customers. The present bartender is watching The X-Files on a portable TV while he polishes glasses. The jukebox in the corner is blasting out -what else- country music.

…Lord, I sure was glad to hear them air brakes come on
And I climbed in that cab where it'd be warm…

David: See? All these songs have a truck in there somewhere. What are we doing here, Maddie? You had that interesting conversation with Miss Kitty. It's like I thought. Annie's fine; This is her private business and she just doesn't want to talk to us. Let's call Mark, let him know we found her-
Maddie: But we didn't find her. What if that woman is lying? I need to get to the bottom of this, David.
David: You need? What you need is to be the hero, excuse me, heroine, find Annie and show her how magnanimous and understanding and superior you are and bring her back to her husband. Maddie, I think it's pretty obvious she just wants you to butt out.
Maddie (petulantly): Well, I'm not. (to the bartender) Excuse me, we're looking for a friend of ours.
Bartender (sarcastic, arms open): Maybe she's coming with the happy hour crowd.
Maddie: I was wondering if you'd seen her before. She's in her thirties, very pretty, curly blonde hair-
Bartender: Sounds like one of the girls over at the ranch.
Maddie (coldly): I don't think so. Here's her picture.
Bartender: Sorry, lady, I haven't seen her in here. Did you check Irene's?
David: You mean the diner around the corner, right?
Bartender: Right.
David: Been there. Done that. Look, Maddie. We're going around in circles. I need a beer.
Maddie: David, we can't stop now.
David: Sorry, Ms. Hayes. I'm not going anywhere until I get a little sustenance for the road. Barkeep, one long cool one if you don't mind.
Bartender: Coming right up sir.
Maddie grudgingly follows David and his beer to a table beside a worn-out, rectangular dance floor in the middle of the bar.
Maddie: Well, this is lovely. We've been in a lot of crappy bars together David, but this may be the worst yet.
David: Hey don't knock it Blondie. The beer's cold, and I reckon you are the only former super model-slash-lady detective in the joint. And if you play your cards right, you may get to take home the best looking hombre in here.
Maddie (looking around the bar): I don't know, he looks like he might be working pretty late tonight.
She smiles slyly at him. He grabs her hand and tugs her out onto the dance floor as a slow song comes on the juke box. He pulls her forward gently, but firmly, until they are standing toe to toe. He curves his arm around her waist, and raises her arm to his shoulder.
Maddie: David, I'm not in the mood. What are you doing?
David: I'm dancing with the purtiest gal in Tonopah. Hell, maybe the purtiest gal in the wild, wild west.
Maddie: Flattery will get you nowhere.
David: Wanna bet? (He dips her backwards almost to the floor)
Faith Hill's vocals start after the brief intro:
Baby I've been drifting away
Dreaming all day
Of holding you
Touching you
The only thing I wanna do
Is be with you
As close to you as I can be
Let's make love
All night long
Until all our strength is gone
Hold on tight
Just let go
I want to feel you in my soul
Until the sun comes up
Let's make love…
Maddie: What are you smiling about?
David: This song. Now this definitely is not about a truck.
Maddie doesn't respond with a snide comeback. Her only response is a sultry look deep into his eyes that he returns with a burning gaze of his own. He draws her closer. He feels the imprint of her hand at the base of his neck. They are so close that he feels her heart beating and her warm breath mingling with his own. She watches his adams apple rise up and down as he swallows hard, then she closes her eyes, sighs and puts her head on his shoulder.
Tim McGraw starts singing his part:
Do you know what you do to me
Every thing inside of me
Is wanting you
And needing you
I'm so in love with you
Look in my eyes
Let's get lost tonight
In each other
Let's make love
All night long
Until all our strength is gone
Hold on tight
Just let go
I want to feel you in my soul
Until the sun comes up
Let's make love…
They continue to sway, pressed tightly together until the song ends. Maddie raises her head off David's shoulder. Their eyes and minds are locked on each other.
Maddie (breathlessly): David?
David: Yes, sweetheart.
Maddie: Let's get the hell out of here.
David: Where do you want to go?
Maddie: I want to go back to the room. Now.
David: Good, because I'm having a little bit of trouble concentrating on your cousin at the moment.
Maddie: Shut up, David.
She starts yanking him to the exit.
David (to the camera): It's the slide guitar. Gets `em every time.
Act IV
The Scene: Irene's, the next morning. Maddie and David are at the same booth as yesterday. The Dixie Chicks musical selection today is:
Hello, Mister Heartache, I've been expecting you
Come in and wear your welcome out, the way you always do…
Maddie is looking around the restaurant for Jenny. David is busy ripping up paper napkins and sticking the pieces in his ears.
Maddie: Maybe she's off today. Or working a different shift.
David: Or she got abducted by aliens.
Maddie: I really blew it yesterday going into that brothel. I should have gone in there posing as a hooker looking for a job.
David starts choking on his water.
David (sputtering and laughing at the same time, pulling the napkins from his ears): Did I hear that right? You? A hooker? Okay, an expensive call girl, maybe. But a hooker in a brothel?
Maddie: What's so funny?
David: Although I like the implications for our sex life, I just can't see you playing a hooker.
Maddie: I certainly could.
David: Sorry, Maddie. You're good, but you're not that good an actress.
Maddie: Just because I never got an Emmy…I am so that good an actress.
David (still chuckling): Yeah, whatever, honey.
A waitress approaches their table.
Waitress: May I take your order, folks?
David: Where's the girl who was here yesterday morning? Jenny.
Waitress: Uh, she called in sick. Would you like to order now?
David: Hope it wasn't something she ate.
Waitress (her eyes darting nervously toward the kitchen): The biscuits and gravy are really good this morning.
Maddie: We'll just have coffee for now, thank you.
The waitress pours their coffee then leaves.
David: I'm hungry, Maddie.
Maddie: Something is going on here, David. I have a feeling Jenny's avoiding us. I'm going to check it out.
Another waitress walks by and Maddie grabs her attention.
Maddie: Can you tell me where the lady's room is, please?
Waitress: Sure. It's that door to the left of the kitchen.
Maddie gets up, but instead of the restroom door, she heads into the kitchen. Once in there, she looks around. She spots Jenny on the phone in the corner. She has her back to Maddie. As Maddie gets closer to her, the girl turns around and sees her. She drops the phone and runs out the back door.
Maddie: Jenny! Stop! I just want to talk to you!
She runs after her. David hears her yelling and follows her out the back door. Maddie and Jenny are way ahead of him. Jenny is fumbling with her car keys, but realizing Maddie is too close, she stops trying to open her door and begins to run down the street.
Maddie: Hey!
Jenny runs into the street, which is also the highway, from between two parked cars and is narrowly missed by a semi truck. The trucker lays on his horn, startling Maddie, who plasters herself against the parked car to avoid being hit herself. As soon as the trailer is out of the way, she darts into the street and winds up on the hood of a small car going the opposite direction.
David: Maddie!
Jenny turns around, sees Maddie lying in the street and immediately turns and runs back toward her. Maddie sits up and wipes off her clothes.
The old woman who was driving the car is still sitting behind the wheel.
David: Maddie, are you okay? You look okay.
Maddie (irritably): I'm fine! The car was barely moving. I just bumped my head.
David: Someone get a doctor!
Maddie: I said I'm fine!
David: Hey, Blondie, didn't your mother ever teach you to look both ways before you cross the street?
He pulls her to her feet.
Maddie (suddenly very wobbly and woozy): Where am I? Who are you?
David: What? Oh my God, get an ambulance, get a helicopter, call 911. Maddie, it's me, David.
Maddie: Who?
David: David! You know me! We've known each other forever! We're partners, pals. You're madly in love with me.
Maddie (looking him up and down): Oh please. I think not.
David: Really! We work together! We've seen each other practically every day for the past eight years.
Maddie: Are you my chauffeur?
David: Your what?! Come on, Maddie, you have to remember. Remember hanging off the clock tower? The shootout with the two hitmen? The dead DJ that wasn't really dead? I'm not going to go through every episode.
Maddie: Wait! I do recall a very handsome man…
David: That's me!
Maddie: No, this man had lots of hair. He looked a lot like Mark Harmon…
David: Great. Him, you remember. Well, you must remember this-
He grabs her and gives her a passionate kiss.
David: That's all I can show you out here in the street without getting arrested.
Maddie (gasping for breath): Sorry, doesn't ring a bell.
David (taking her hand and rubbing it against his face): I don't know what I'll do if you don't remember…us. Come on, Maddie.
Maddie: Not that good an actress, huh David? Gotcha.
David (unceremoniously dropping her hand): That is so not funny, Maddie.
Jenny: Is she all right?
David: She's fine-for now.
An ambulance pulls up.
David: Maddie, you go with these guys and get checked out.
Maddie: I told you I'm fine. Jenny, I want to talk to you.
David: No, you could have a concussion, or a broken…fingernail or something. Make me happy and go get an x-ray. And you (pointing at Jenny), I've had about enough of this. I'm done pussy footin' around this town. You tell Annie this town ain't big enough for the both of us. Tell her to meet me in the Little Ale'Inn Bar. At high noon.
The Scene: Little Ale'Inn Bar, at high noon, of course. David sits at a table by the front door. An untouched beer sits in front of him. No one else is in the bar. The jukebox is playing an old Patsy Cline selection:
For thinking that my love could hold you
I'm crazy for tryin'
And crazy for cryin'
And I'm crazy for lovin' you…
Annie walks in the front door of the bar and stands in front of David.
David: Annie. Right on cue.
Annie: Is Maddie all right?
David: She's okay. She has a bump on the noggin and a few scrapes, but she's okay. No thanks to you.
Annie: I didn't want you two to follow me David. How did you find me anyway?
David: Mark heard you mention this town. Maddie was so worried she insisted on coming after you. Believe me, if it would have been my decision, we wouldn't have come here either.
Annie: Well, I wish you hadn't. And as you can see, I'm fine. I've called Mark and let him know that I'm on my way back. He was supposed to let you know but I guess you missed his call this morning.
David: So are you going to tell me what this hide and seek crap has been all about?
Annie: I don't really care to discuss it with you, David.
David: Well, I got news for you, Buckaroo, you can talk to me now or you can talk to Maddie later. I know who I'd choose.
She sighs deeply and sits at the table.
Annie: There was someone here I needed to see.
David: Okay. Who?
Annie: Someone I've wanted-no dreaded- meeting for a very long time. I never had the guts. Or maybe I just wasn't ready until now.
David: So you just lit out of Vegas like a bat out of hell with no explanation to meet someone. What the hell were you thinking?
Annie: It was an impulse. Funny, whenever I get one of those it always seems to come back and bite me in the ass. You'd think I'd learn.
David: Yeah, but some of us never learn.
Annie: Actually, I was thinking about something Maddie said. Something she was right about. I'm having a baby, David. It's time to grow up.
David: Glad to hear it. So who is this someone? A waitress in the restaurant? Looks an awful lot like you? Sounds a lot like you? Name of Jenny?
Annie: Yes. When she described a couple she had served yesterday morning, I suspected you and Maddie were here. Then when Loretta told me you had come to the ranch-
David: Who's Loretta?
Annie: The woman you talked to at the ranch yesterday. Jenny's mother.
David: Miss Kitty? She's Jenny's mother? But I thought you were Jenny's mother.
Annie: I'm not her mother! I'm her sister. I told her I didn't want to see you. That's why she ran from Maddie this morning. So it's my fault that Maddie got hurt as well.
David: Sister. Okay, now I'm confused.
Annie: A long time ago, my father had an affair with Loretta. It almost ended my parent's marriage when my mother found out there was a child…Jenny. I used to hear them fighting about it when they didn't know I was around. Then I guess it just got swept under the rug. They stopped fighting, took a second honeymoon to Europe and that was the last I ever heard about it. My home life was always very civilized from then on. Their marriage became very…quiet. God, I couldn't wait to go away to college. But I always knew I had a sister. My father never attempted to contact her, never supported her. I felt so ashamed that I never tried to see her even though I knew where she lived. When Mark and I came to Las Vegas I knew she was only a few hours away, but I still couldn't get up the nerve to talk to her. Until Maddie reminded me (she rubs her cheek) in no uncertain terms that I'm going to be a mother and I have some things I need to face. My cousin's really something, isn't she? (She starts to look like she might cry.) I wish I hadn't messed up our relationship so badly.
David: Hey, you had some help in that department.
Annie: I did, didn't I. But whatever I did, I did it willingly. I can't deny that.
David says nothing. He looks down at the table, reaches for his beer and takes a sip.
Annie: I'm going to have to tell Mark about you and me. I really do love him, David, but I can't continue in this marriage with the ghost of you between us. I don't want to wind up like my parents. I know it means he may leave me and the baby but I need to tell him anyway.
David: If you want me to be there-
Annie: No. I think it would be better if I tell him alone. I've had a long time to prepare a speech. David, there's one other thing. It's about what I told Maddie when I was mad at her.
David: When you went shopping?
Annie: Yes.
David: I knew there was something she was upset about but she didn't tell me what it was.
Annie: She didn't tell you?
David: No. Tell me what?
Annie: Would you do me a favor? Just tell her that what I said in the baby store was a lie. I just wanted to hurt her. I wanted to hurt you too. But she didn't tell you…She's very protective of you, you know.
David: Yeah, she's got it bad.
Annie: I think you've got it pretty bad too.
David: Yeah, maybe.
They smile a knowing smile at each other and David wipes a tear from her cheek. At that moment, Maddie walks in the door of the bar, a large bandage on her forehead, her hands on her hips.
Maddie (angrily): I'm not interrupting anything here, am I?
The bartender looks up from his soap hoping that what's about to happen in his bar is going to be even more interesting than the TV-
COMMERCIAL BREAK (They always put the damn commercial in right when it's getting interesting, don't they?)
The Scene: The Little Ale'Inn Bar. The bartender is back to his soap. Apparently the showdown didn't materialize.
Maddie: Annie, why didn't you explain all this in Vegas? I would have understood about your sister. Mark would have understood.
Annie: I told Mark I'd be back. I didn't know he'd get so freaked out and get you two involved. I'm sorry, Maddie. About everything. But when I saw you and David together in that bar…It's not like I still want him…
Maddie: But you didn't want me to have him either.
Annie: Pretty childish, huh. Then I started thinking about having a baby and telling Mark about David, that stupid lie I told you while we were shopping.
Maddie: What?
Annie: Yes, I was lying. It seemed I was just digging myself deeper and deeper into this hole. I felt like I had to get away from everyone and everything just to sort it all out. So I took off.
David: I'm getting a sense of Déjà vu here.
Maddie gives him a dirty look.
David: And what's this little lie? The one I've been hearing so much about, but haven't actually heard.
Maddie: It's not important, David.
David: What ever happened to "I don't keep secrets, David".
Maddie: All right, if you must know-
Annie: I implied to Maddie that you got me pregnant.
David's dumb struck expression passes back and forth between the two women.
David: But how is that possible? We've never slept together.
Now it's Maddie and Annie's turn to look dumb struck.
David: I mean, that was the other Annie. Look around, this must be a parallel universe. The three of us are sitting in a bar, having drinks, talking quietly. I couldn't be sitting in a bar with Maddie and that other Annie. One of us would be getting murdered about now.
Annie: Or castrated.
David: Please don't say the "c" word in the presence of my-
Maddie: You sure you don't want him, Annie? He's all yours, really…
The Scene: A few nights later, back in LA. Maddie and David are curled up on the sectional in David's living room. He is watching the NFL playoffs. She is reading Vogue. He jumps up and starts yelling at the TV, startling and annoying her.
David: Oh man, you should have caught that pass!
Maddie: David, what am I doing here?
David: I don't know, Maddie, what are any of us doing here? That's one of the mysteries of life. Like why can't a women put on mascara with her mouth closed.
Maddie: I meant what am I doing here with you watching football.
David: Maddie, it's the playoffs. And it's your hometown team against my hometown team. I thought that would make it interesting for you.
Maddie: And why did you think that David?
David: Ah, you're just mad because the Bears are losing by sixteen points.
Maddie: Sixteen or sixty, it makes no difference to me.
David: It'll make a difference to your dad. Especially when he has to shell out fifty bucks to yours truly.
Maddie: You made a bet with my father? And you're making him pay you?
David: It was a gentleman's agreement, Ms. Hayes. It would not bode well for the family honor if he welched on a bet. Speaking of the family honor, have you heard from Annie?
Maddie: Uh, yes.
David: I guess I'm not going to be invited on any more family vacations.
Maddie: Probably not. Unless Mark's as magnanimous and superior as I am.
David smiles but feels it would be prudent not to comment.
Maddie: I had no idea that part of what was going on with Annie went back to her childhood. Annie's been let down by so many people in her life. Her father…you-Are you listening to me, David?
David (straining to hear the TV above her voice): Hmm? Yeah, I'm listening.
Maddie: And I didn't want to be someone else in her life that was going to let her down. If that makes me look like I'm trying to act heroic, then so be it.
He cocks his head at her, grins and swipes a non-existent hair away from her face.
David (clicking off the TV with the remote): Well, this game's all but over. I guess my team's advancing, and yours…well, better luck next year, Blondie.
Maddie (shrugs): So what do you want to do now?
David: There's still that little matter of you doing something reckless.
Maddie: Hmm, I don't see any roller coasters in your living room. Besides, you haven't fulfilled your part of the bargain either, Mr. Responsible.
David: Pardon me? When you get to the office on Monday you'll see the report on the Simmons case sitting on your desk. Transcribed-in triplicate.
Maddie: I don't believe it. When did you have the time? We've been gone all week.
David: It's even in a little manila folder. With the name typed on the tab.
Maddie: But how…Bert! You had Bert do it. I don't think that's fair, David.
David: Whoa, I think delegating duties is very responsible. To have a case handled in a speedy and efficient manner is what we agreed on.
Maddie harrumphs
David: Gotcha. So what's on tap for our reckless evening, Ms. Hayes?
Maddie: I don't know. I have to think.
David: Well, while you're thinking, I'll just turn on the stereo.
Once I thought that love was something I could never do
Never knew that I could feel this much…
But this yearning in the deep part of my heart for you
Is more than a reaction to your touch…
Maddie: David, is that a country song?
David: The last time I heard a country song I seem to recall that I got lucky. And this one isn't about a truck either.
Maddie: So you think every time you hear a country song-
David: That's not about a truck.
Maddie: -you get "lucky".
David: Actually, luck has nothing to do with it.
Maddie: Do tell.
David: It's all that charm and pure animal magnetism. I'm full of it.
Maddie: You certainly are.
David: That's why you were so jealous when you walked in and saw me sitting with Annie the other day.
She stands up.
Maddie: I was not jealous. I was angry. There's a difference.
David (smugly): Yeah, and the difference is you love me.
Maddie: Okay, I admit it David. I love you. But I wasn't jealous.
David: Were too.
Maddie: Was not.
David pulls her into an embrace. He places his hand behind her neck and gives her a long, passionate kiss. His hands begin to wander south to her derriere.
Maddie: David? What are you doing?
David: I'm getting you worked up for our reckless evening.
Maddie: I'm not sure-
David: Well, I am.
Maddie: I don't think I want to know…
David: You'll figure it out, Maddie.
He starts spinning her around the room as the music volume increases.
I love your attitude
Your rose tattoo-
David (slaps her rear end): That's it!
Maddie: Ow! That's what?
David: A tattoo!
Maddie: Oh no! No way, David.
David: It doesn't have to be a rose…
Maddie: I am not getting a tattoo!
David: I'll get one to match…
Maddie is still haranguing him as she's being twirled around the room as the music comes up one last time:
Maddie: Not in a million years, Addison…
The way you look
The way you laugh
The way you love with all you have
There ain't nothin' bout you
that don't do somethin' for me…
The way you kiss the way you cry
The way you move when you walk by
There ain't nothin' bout you
that don't do somethin' for me
The way you look
The way you laugh
The way you love with all you have
Your dance, your drive, you make me feel alive
The way you talk , the way you tease
By now I think you see
There ain't nothin' bout you that don't do somethin' for me
Okay, David and country music is a stretch, a long stretch, but I just wanted to have a little fun with him. I also have a few disclaimers. The Little Ale'Inn actually exists, but it's in Ruth, Nevada, not in Tonopah. And Tonopah's really not that bad. I know-I spent a week there one night.
Thanks for letting me exorcise some Annie demons. And thanks for giving us all a long holiday. And thanks, Sarah, for this new virtual home.
Hope y'all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Oh, and apologies to the country music fans in the audience. ---Sue
Song Credits:
Tina Turner Let's Stay Together
Billy Joel Honesty
The Dixie Chicks Goodbye Earl
The Dixie Chicks Cowboy, Take Me Away
The Dixie Chicks Hello, Mr. Heartache
Red Sovine Phantom 309
Patsy Cline Crazy
Brooks & Dunn Nothin' Bout You