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Nightmare on Maddie's Street

Act I

Late Afternoon, outside Maddie's front door.

Background Music: Don't Fear the Reaper (instrumental only)

A howling gust of wind comes up and blows dead leaves up into a small cyclone around the doorway. The afternoon sky darkens as storm clouds cover the sun. We hear footsteps trudging up to the house, and heavy, labored breathing as well. A shaky hand reaches up to the doorbell and presses it once. From inside we hear footsteps quickly approaching the door.

Maddie opens the door and an out of breath mail carrier stands against the doorjamb, panting. His hooded jacket covers him completely, so she cannot discern his face or his age.

Maddie: Hello.

Mail Carrier: That's quite a steep driveway you have there. With this heavy bag I wasn't sure I was going to make it. I have a package you'll need to sign for ma'am.

Maddie: Oh, thank you.

He hands her a clipboard and she signs for the package and accepts it from him.

Maddie tries to get a better look at the mail carrier. She can tell he's not her regular guy, and she can tell he's sweating but other than that, nothing. And it would appear he's hiding his face from her. You've been a detective too long, Maddie. You don't trust anyone anymore, she thinks.

Maddie: Strange weather we're having, huh. Pretty cold for southern California. Can I get you anything? A glass of water?

Mail Carrier: No ma'am. I'm fine. I'm just not used to all this walking anymore.

Maddie: Where's the usual carrier for this route?

Mail Carrier (shrugging): I dunno. Maybe he got sick of all these long driveways and vicious dogs.

Just then, Miss Me comes up to the door and starts barking at the mail carrier, sticking her little black nose between Maddie's legs, trying to get out of the house.

Maddie: Speaking of vicious! What's gotten into you, girl? Sorry, she's usually not like this. I guess it's because she doesn't know you. Anyway, thanks for the package.

She starts to close the door as the man skulks away. Suddenly another gust of wind comes up, blows the door inward and the dog escapes.

Maddie: Miss Me!

She drops the package onto the tile floor of the foyer and runs out the door as a clap of thunder sounds overhead. She chases the dog across the expansive lawn, over a short hedge and into the yard next door and sees her blonde stub of a tail disappear under a fence into the backyard.

Maddie's neighborhood is dotted with stone mansions set so far from their mailboxes that, according to David, they could be in another zip code. So it's not unusual that Maddie has never met these neighbors. She walks up to the front door and rings the doorbell.

An attractive woman in a black silk robe answers the door. She is quite a bit younger than Maddie. She has long, straight jet-black hair, a slender figure and huge dark eyes. She looks wealthy and snobbish, with full lips and cheekbones that could cut raw meat. Lightning strikes and another thunder clap booms overhead. Maddie ducks involuntarily, but the woman at the door doesn't move; she seems to be fascinated with Maddie. Putting on what she thinks is her most friendly, neighborly smile, Maddie tries not to become unnerved by the stare she is receiving from this young woman.

Maddie: Hello, I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm your next door neighbor and I'm afraid my dog got out and she went under your fence. I was wondering if I could go back there and retrieve her.

The woman is scrutinizing Maddie's face, not answering her.

Maddie: Hello…?

Woman (pointing at Maddie's face): Aren't you…didn't you used to be on television?

Maddie: I used to be a model. You may have seen me in commercials for Blue Moon Shampoo.

The woman's face lights up with recognition.

Woman: Oh yes, the Blue Moon Shampoo Girl. That was you?

Maddie: That was me in another life.

Woman: How exciting! What was your name back then?

Maddie: It was and is Madolyn Hayes.

Woman: Oh, of course. Now I remember you. I used to see those commercials when I was little. My mom used to buy Blue Moon Shampoo. You were always my favorite model. When I used to see you in commercials or in magazines, I was always struck by how sensual you looked. I saw intelligence in your eyes. You never struck me as an empty-headed ditz like Cheryl Tiegs.

Maddie smiles self-consciously, feeling flattered in spite of herself.

Maddie: Well, thank you. I did try to put forth a certain look. I'm glad you took notice.

Woman: I haven't seen you in any magazines for years. Did you retire?

The woman continues to stare at Maddie intensely, unsettling her somewhat. As she looks into her eyes, Maddie feels like she's looking down a long black tunnel, afraid of what she might see but compelled not to turn away.

Maddie: You could say that. Actually, I just changed careers.

Woman: What do you do now?

Maddie blinks and suddenly remembers her purpose for being there.

Maddie: I own a detective agency. I don't want to be rude but may I get my dog please?

Woman: Oh, of course. Come in. I'm Blaire.

Blaire opens the door to admit her. Maddie trips clumsily over the threshold as she walks in.

Blaire: Are you all right?

Maddie: Yes, thank you. I'm usually a little more graceful.

Blaire: Your dog was probably after Diablo.

Maddie: Diablo?

Blaire: My cat. He loves to lure dogs into his territory so he can fight with them.

Maddie (wincing): You have a cat that loves to fight with dogs? May I get her now please?

Blaire: Sure. The backyard is this way.

Blaire shows Maddie into a house that is a study in black and white, glass and tile. The lighting throughout is subtle and recessed. As Maddie follows her, Blaire slinks through the house like a model on a runway. Maddie is almost as intrigued with this young woman as Blaire is with her. She's unusually beautiful and graceful. And her eyes are actually black, as black as midnight. Maddie wonders if this attractive girl has ever been a model. She certainly looks like she could be one.

As Blaire opens the back door Miss Me zips past them with a big black ball of fur in hot pursuit. Maddie quickly turns around to follow them and trips over a chair, falling face first onto the kitchen floor.

Maddie: Miss Me!

She picks herself up and runs after the animals. Blaire runs close behind her, suddenly gushing.

Blaire: Since you're so famous do you know Tom Cruise? Or Harrison Ford? I just love him. Ooh, or Bruce Willis, do you know him?

Maddie (looking at the camera and rolling her eyes): No, sorry. I've been out of the limelight for sometime now.

Blaire: Oh. Well, what about-

Maddie stops abruptly and turns around to face her.

Maddie: Look-I don't move in the same circles with those people. Now I really need to get my dog and get out of here. (rubbing her knee) If I don't kill myself first.

Maddie reaches under a chair and snatches her trembling, frightened cocker spaniel. She searches through her fur for wounds from the ferocious looking black cat that is perched on top of the chair staring at her, purring, washing its face.

Blaire: Well, why don't you and your husband come over for drinks tomorrow night. I'm sure my Norman would love to meet you.

Maddie (distractedly): I don't have a husband.

Blaire: But I thought I saw…

Maddie: Well I do have a…(she ponders what to call David. Her lover, her beau, her steady… boyfriend is certainly out of the question) umm, a…guy.

Blaire: I am sorry. I just assumed you were married … a beautiful mature woman like yourself. And I thought I saw a great looking guy coming and going from over there an awful lot. So what about cocktails tomorrow? It seems the least I can do since my cat almost killed your dog. Bad Diablo.

Blaire picks up her cat and nuzzles it. The cat must weigh twenty pounds, and his whiskers look a foot long. He's making a sound like a hum deep in his throat. Miss Me begins to growl. Blaire smiles and gives Maddie the same piercing stare with her black diamond eyes. Only this time the cat is also in on the act.

Usually Maddie is very adept at turning down these types of invitations, but she's caught off guard and though she'd hate to admit it, is a little flustered by this woman. She also feels an attraction to her for some reason she can't quite understand. She stands there for a moment but can't seem to come up with an excuse to say no.

Maddie: Well, okay. What time?

Blaire: How about seven o'clock.

Maddie: Seven sounds fine. We'll see you then.

She turns to leave, and feels a sharp pain in the back of her head.

Maddie: OW!

Blaire: Sorry, you had a dead leaf in your hair. I was just getting it out.

Maddie thinks, did you have to take half my scalp with it?


As Maddie walks back to her house with the dog, she thinks about Blaire. On the one hand, she's very lovely and charming and seems like the type of woman Maddie would like to get to know. But Maddie also feels old, clumsy around Blaire. Couldn't be all that tripping around could it, Maddie, she lectures herself.

On the other hand, what is with love for celebrity? She's a little star struck. But she's also quite young. She reminds Maddie of herself at that age, when she was starting to make serious money, was being recognized wherever she went and she didn't know how to handle all the attention yet. When she had first moved to Los Angeles she had been quite enamored with Hollywood and celebrity worship herself.

Maddie is in deep thought as she enters her foyer and spies David's brief case lying just inside the front door. She walks into the house and notices David's suit jacket lying across the back of the sofa. She goes into the living room where she sees David lying on the sectional, his tie loosened, his feet up, his face buried in her high school yearbook.

Maddie (grabbing the yearbook out of his hands): David! Where did you get that?

David: It was lying on the floor when I walked in the house. It appears you forgot to lock up. McGruff the crime dog would be very upset with you.

Maddie: Just lying on the floor, huh. Was it maybe in a box that you had to break into to get it?

David (grinning): Nope. The box was already broken open. It looked like it had been thrown to the ground. I had to check to make sure there wasn't a bomb in it or naked pictures of you when you were young and broke and couldn't pay the rent.

Maddie: So you were snooping to protect me and my honor, is that it, Mr. Boy Scout?

He grabs the yearbook back.

David: Yep. That's about it. Little did I know what I was going to find was almost- and let me emphasize almost- better than naked pictures. So Maddie, why didn't you ever tell me you were Homecoming Queen?

Maddie: David. Give that to me now.

She grabs for the book but he sticks it between his backside and the sofa cushion.

David: I've always wondered what you were like in high school. I'm so glad your mom found these yearbooks and was thoughtful enough to send them to you.

Maddie: How did you know they were from my mother? There was no return address. Did you read my mail too?

David: No. But who else would send you your old yearbooks? It's just simple deductive reasoning, Watson.

Maddie: So I guess that would make you Sherlock? That's a laugh.

She reaches around him, and he snags her arm and pulls her over the back of the sofa on top of him.

David: Now I can see if my fantasies about you are true.

Maddie (squirming in his grasp): David, if I wanted you to see these yearbooks I would have shown them to you at some point. But you invaded my privacy. You opened my mail in my house, on my couch. You're not my warden or my keeper or my husband. You don't even live here. You have no right!

No I don't, he thinks. And it hurts that she is so adamant about what's hers and what's not his. His smile fades and he drops his arms from around her. She tumbles onto the floor.

David: Okay, Maddie. I'm sorry. I had no idea you were so sensitive about being seen in some old book.

Maddie: You're missing the point, as usual. The point is that what you did, you did without my permission.

David: You're right. But I didn't mean anything by it. I came home. I mean I came over to your house. You weren't here. The front door was wide open. This box was lying open on the floor. I didn't know what was going on or where you were-

Maddie: Okay, I admit that must have looked pretty strange. But…you opened the box, saw my yearbooks inside, decided you had the right to look through them, and couldn't miss a perfect opportunity to mock me-

David: Mock you? Why would I do that? I was just curious. Where the hell have you been any way?

Maddie: I was chasing Miss Me. She ran next door after a cat. I met one of my neighbors. She invited you and me for drinks tomorrow night.

David: That was nice of her. What's she like?

Maddie: She's a very illogical person.

David: In what way, Mr. Spock?

Maddie: I just mean at first she looks so, I don't know, polished? And I felt an instant attraction to her. But as soon as she opened her mouth…she reminded me of a teeny bopper. She's very young and immature.

David: So why are we going over there for drinks tomorrow night?

Maddie: I don't know. It's weird. I just couldn't come up with an excuse. My mind went totally blank.

David: Boy, if she can make the unflappable Madolyn Hayes speechless, I can't wait to meet her.

Maddie: She seemed pretty anxious to meet you. She said she's seen you coming and going from here. What's she been doing? Spying?

Actually, I'm sure you'll like her. She's kind of sultry, kind of mysterious. And did I mention young? Just your type.

David: Now Maddie. My type is you. Only you. Always will be you.

He bats his eyes at her and smiles sweetly.

Maddie: You should really learn how to bottle that BS, David.

She grabs the yearbook from him and throws it unceremoniously back into the shipping box. Then she notices another large box on the floor beside the sofa.

Maddie: What's in there?

David: It's a surprise. For the Halloween party on Friday.

Maddie: Daaaaviiiid? What kind of surprise?

David: You said you'd let me pick out our costumes.

Maddie: Was I awake when I said that?

David (slowly brings her hand up to his lips): Actually, you were…satisfied…fulfilled…gratified…

Maddie (shivers): Oh yeah, then. But-

David: Nuh, uh uh. You promised. Although now that I see these yearbook pictures, I'm getting a whole new set of ideas about what we should be for Halloween.

Maddie: Oh really. What kind of ideas?

David: I wouldn't mind seeing you in one of those little cheerleading outfits. Maybe you'd even let me grab your pom poms.

She stands up and puts her hands on her hips.

Maddie: Keep it up, Addison, and the only thing you'll be grabbing is a cab home!

David takes her hand in his and sits up on the sofa.

David: Come on, Maddie, lighten up. I'm just teasing you a little. Your cheerleading uniform probably wouldn't fit anymore anyway.

Maddie: I wasn't a cheerleader.

David: I'm crushed. But I bet I know what you were…

Maddie: Watch it David.

David: I have a feeling that you were probably the most popular girl in school. Model student, no pun intended. Got all A's. All your teachers loved you. Probably had all the boys after you with their tongues hanging out. Homecoming queen we already know. I bet your boyfriend was the captain of the football team, probably the quarterback, maybe even a future spaceman. I bet you never gave the poor slobs in the math club a passing glance.

Maddie: Those poor slobs are the ones I should have been dating. They're all millionaires now.

David: Ah, the homecoming queen rears her ugly head. So the most important thing in life is money, huh Maddie?

Maddie: Of course not. I just meant that they've made something of their lives that's all. Unlike most of those jocks the girls used to ogle.

David: Yeah, right. So, how am I doing as far as what you were like way back when?

Maddie: Well…I preferred basketball players to football players, but other than that you're doing pretty well.

David: I knew it. I know you.

Maddie: Boy, you sound cynical. Why? You sure weren't one of the math club guys. Not unless you cheated to get in. Now it's my turn. I don't have the advantage of having your yearbook in front of me but I bet I know what kind of guy you were in high school…

Maddie sees a picture in her mind of the Van Halen video for Hot for Teacher. But instead of David Lee Roth standing on the desk, directing the debauchery, there is David Addison in his place.

Maddie: I'd say you probably owned a leather jacket or two. Probably played harmonica in a band. Probably-no strike that-undoubtedly, you were the class clown. Probably had the homecoming queen and her court mooning over you and chasing you all over because you were the cute but dangerous guy in school. Probably had a motorcycle that you drove too fast. How am I doing?

David: Terrible. I went to a Catholic all boys school, remember? The only girls after me were nuns. And they weren't mooning, they were praying for my eternal soul and chasing me around with rulers. I didn't drive a motorcycle and I didn't have a leather jacket. I couldn't afford those things working part time for my old man in the fish business. However, I did play harmonica and I was unbelievably cool, of course.

Maddie: Of course. I'm sure it took years to perfect that grin alone. (She sighs and gets up from the floor.)

Look, I've been working on the month end billing all day. Getting stressed over our overhead is making me hungry.

David: Hey, everything's okay at the office. We're just in a little slump, that's all.

Maddie: I've heard that one before. Anyway, I'm tired of thinking about it. How about I get the dog her dinner then see what I can find in the kitchen for us. Interested?

David: I don't know…if you make me dinner…

Maddie: Uh huh.

David: and I survive…

Maddie: Cute.

David: …then you might expect me to put out after dinner. I promised my mom I'd come right home after I finished my homework.

Maddie approaches him with a seductive smile on her face. God, is she ever going to get to the point where this adolescent/man doesn't drive her crazy every time he uses one of his stupid lines on her? She wraps her arm around his waist and begins to walk him into the kitchen.

Maddie: Maybe you should call and say you'll be late. I may be in the mood for a little tutoring myself later on.


After a dinner of pasta primavera, salad and a little merlot to wash it down, Maddie and David retire to the living room in front of the fireplace to finish the wine. The thunder rumbling in the distance and the fire in the fireplace make it a very cozy, romantic spot to be waiting for the storm to let loose.

Maddie: So, how was dinner?

David: Not bad. Who knew the cover girl could cook?

Maddie: Hey, I took a class, remember? I just didn't get to finish it due to a small problem involving hit men in parking garages.

He's only half listening. He has other plans on his mind.

David: How about we finish this, then go upstairs?

He gently swirls the wine in its crystal glass, watching it glide smoothly over the sides. They kiss languidly as the stereo plays softly in the background…

I keep on fallin' in love

With you

Sometimes I love ya

Sometimes you make me blue

Sometimes I feel good

At times I feel used

Lovin' you darlin'

Makes me so confused

I keep on fallin' in and out of love

with you

I never loved someone the way that I love you

I never felt this way

How do you give me so much pleasure

and cause me so much pain

just when I think

I've taken more than would a fool

I start fallin' back in love with you

I keep on fallin in and out of love

with you

I never loved someone the way that I love you

I'm fallin'…

I keep on fallin' in and out of love

with you

I never loved someone the way that I love you…

Maddie: You like the wine?

He comes up for air from the depths of her cleavage and looks penetratingly into her eyes.

David: It's darker than the deepest sin. On second thought, who needs upstairs?

He begins to lie her down in front of the fireplace, but she resists. She is suddenly very tired and not at all interested in taking this interlude to its foregone conclusion.

Maddie: David, can we please for once finish a bottle of wine and talk a little?

He sits up, obviously disappointed.

David: What do you want to talk about, Maddie? We talked all through dinner.

She gives him a stern look.

David: Okay, let's talk.

The box full of Maddie's yearbooks is still sitting on the glass coffee table in front of them. David looks bored, but he can't help himself but open one up and leaf through it looking for a certain blonde.

Maddie: Can we put these things away now? It's silly to look back on the past. Besides, looking through these makes me feel old.

David: Since when are you concerned about getting old?

Maddie: I'm not. I don't know; maybe it's this time of year. You know how I hate Halloween. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood.

David: Why? I think this is fun. Don't you like seeing how you've evolved from that little princess into the sophisticated, gorgeous woman you are now?

Maddie: Oh keep it coming, pal. Wait, I may need my wheelbarrow.

David: It's true! The first day I met you, you sat in my office primping, looking at yourself in a mirror. I think you were still pretty close to that girl, but over the years you've really turned into a person with depth and character.

Maddie: I think my character is sitting here next to me. Honestly David, are you trying to tell me that I had no depth until I met you? Is that what you are implying?

David: If the crown fits, your highness.

Maddie: You have no idea what I was like back then. I wasn't some shallow, vapid little girl without a care in the world. I marched against the war you know.

David: The civil one?

Maddie: You're asking for it, buddy.

David (kissing her neck): I'm begging for it, Maddie.

Maddie: I also volunteered as a candy striper at a hospital.

David (suddenly sitting up, very interested in this subject): Oh God! You're kidding me. You don't still have that uniform do you?

Maddie: Degenerate. Put that book away. I'm going to bed. I'm really tired. Besides, isn't it past your curfew?

David: Maddie you can't just tell me you were a candy striper then go upstairs and go to sleep.

Maddie: Watch me.

David : I'm getting quite an image in my mind. Young, sweet, sexy but innocent Maddie with her long blonde hair tied back in a pony tail, walking down the hospital corridor in her red and white uniform with those white stockings on her long beautiful legs.

Maddie: And orthopedic shoes on her feet.

David: Shhh, you're ruining the image here, honey.

Maddie: David, it's been a very long day. May I please go to bed now?

David: Why? You said you wanted to talk. Don't you want to talk about what it would have been like if we had met in high school?

Maddie (stifling a yawn): How about I dream about it instead. Besides, I know what it would have been like. You wouldn't have looked twice at me. You would have thought of me as just an empty-headed teenager with no "depth or character".

David: Babe, I didn't care much about depth and character in high school. It doesn't matter much to me right now either. Believe me I would have looked at you twice. Maybe even three times. But I would have known that I didn't have a chance with a girl like you.

Maddie: Why is that David? I thought you were unbelievably cool.

David: I was, but I always smelled like fish.

She giggles, then stops suddenly when she spies something through the french doors. Two glowing yellow eyes are staring at them. At that moment the storm that has been brewing begins to unleash sheets of rain onto the patio. Miss Me comes running from the kitchen barking. Maddie runs to the door and turns on the outside light just in time to see a black blur running away from the glass.

David: What was that?

Maddie: It was that damn cat from next door. I think he's stalking my dog. It's pretty alarming looking up and seeing those eyes glaring at us.

She grabs his hand and begins to drag him toward the stairs.

David: Are you scared? Want me to protect you? I thought you were sending me home. I thought you were tired.

Maddie: I am tired. I just thought it would be nice if you stayed. I'm getting used to sleeping with you. We don't have to make love every time you spend the night, do we?

He gapes at her like she just asked him if the earth is round. She laughs nervously.

Standing at the foot of the stairs, he wraps her in his arms and kisses her deeply.

David: I'm getting pretty used to sleeping with you too. In fact, I kinda like it. I kinda like you too.

They walk up the spiral stairs together, arm in arm. Once they get to the master bedroom they separate, each one performing all the usual nighttime rituals, getting undressed, brushing teeth, Maddie brushing her hair. She sits on the bed putting on lotion while she watches David in his underwear in the bathroom smoothing what's left of his hair in the mirror. She realizes they are becoming more comfortable with each other the more practice they get at this domestic thing. She smiles to herself as she thinks that they have reached a level of true intimacy she never thought they would. As long as he doesn't leave the bathroom door open all the time…

David turns off the bathroom light and jumps into bed.

David: Here I am…

Maddie: Yes, there you are, all right.

David: Wanna talk some more?

Maddie: I'd prefer to sleep.

David (pouting): Sleep?

Maddie: Sleep. I love you David, but I'm just not the night person you are.

David: I love you too, Maddie.

She kisses him softly, lies down, pulls the covers up to her neck and turns off the light. He now sits in the dark, looking down at her.

David: Don't you wanna…

Maddie: I'm honestly too tired, David. Talk to me tomorrow.

David: Tomorrow I won't have just found out you were a candy striper. You have to strike while the iron's hot, sweetheart.

Maddie: I'll take my chances. Good night, David.

He lies down and pulls her to him, and she lies snugly in the crook of his arm.

David: Did you wear a little nurse's hat too?

Maddie: Good night, David.

David: How short was your uniform?

Maddie: Go to sleep!

David: Okay, okay, I can take a hint. Good night John Boy…

He smiles, closes his eyes, happily drifting off to sleep while Maddie stares off into the distance, her eyes wide open.


Act II

The next evening, 7PM, the neighbors house

Maddie and David arrive next door, Maddie carrying a bottle of chardonnay, David carrying a six pack of Blue Moon beer. She yawns as David pushes the doorbell.

David: I'm not keeping you up am I?

Maddie: I don't know why but I'm really tired tonight.

David: Good, we'll have an excuse to leave early.

They are welcomed into the house by a very tall man at least fifteen years older than Blaire. As he shows them in Maddie once again trips over the threshold. She rights herself, both men reaching out to help her up.

David eyes their host's attire: horn-rimmed glasses, a Hawaiian shirt, plaid shorts, black socks and brown sandals.

David (under his breath): Well, so much for the neighbor guy being cool.

Maddie (through a clenched smile): Wait til you meet the wife. She'll make up for it.

Neighbor: Come on in. I'm Norman, Blaire's main man.

Norman shows Maddie and David into the living room and moves to the bar which is set up with an array of spirits, glasses, delicate cups and small serving plates. On the bar itself is a tray of tiny sandwiches cut into equilateral triangles, baby vegetables and dip, and a freshly opened box of Godiva chocolates. David starts probing the box of chocolates, until Maddie lightly slaps his hand. Norman gives David a beer and Maddie a glass of wine. Their backs are turned as Blaire walks into the room and turns on the stereo. Norman looks up and Maddie and David turn around to greet their hostess.

…You always keep me guessing

I never seem to know what you are thinking

And if a fellow looks at you

It's for sure your little eye will be a-winking

I get confused cause I don't know where I stand

And then you smile… and hold my hand

Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you…

She is dressed in a very short, very clingy, black mini dress. The color of the dress, the almost blue-black color of her hair, and her luminous ivory skin make for a very striking portrait. She is holding the cat, scratching under his chin. They can hear him purring from across the room, even with the music playing. Maddie notices David noticing Blaire. Her dark eyes fix on David for about five long seconds, making him feel rather flattered and Maddie rather uncomfortable. She sways to the music as she glides into the room.

Norman: Hi Honey. So glad you could make it. (To Maddie and David) She always loves to make an entrance. Come over here and meet the neighbors.

Maddie: Well, we've already met of course, but Blaire, this is David.

Blaire: Hello, David. I've only seen you from afar. It's so nice to finally meet you.

Blaire is still staring at him as David decides to pull out all the stops and kiss her proffered hand. Maddie is not half as impressed as Blaire is.

In fact, Maddie is somewhat shocked. Did this woman take a crash course in Sophistication 101 over night? Her voice is lower, and her demeanor is much more grown-up tonight. Where's the star struck teenybopper? And why is Maddie instantly feeling so jealous and old?

David: It's great to meet you. You have a beautiful home and I hear you have quite a watch cat. Must come in handy to scare away all those pesky trick or treaters.

David scratches Diablo's head, and the cat actually starts purring louder.

Blaire (kissing the cat): Oh, Diablo is really a lover. He just doesn't like dogs. Very smart of him, I'd say.

Maddie: I guess some people are cat people and some people are dog people.

David and Blaire look over at her like they just noticed her presence in the room. She starts to regret accepting this invitation. Norman clears his throat to bring their attention back to his side of the room.

Norman: So, David, what do you do?

David: I'm a private investigator.

Norman: Wow, that must be interesting work.

David: It can be.

Norman (chomping on a carrot while he talks): Do you get to follow beautiful women and take pictures of them having sex with married men?

David: My partner doesn't like to take cases like that.

Norman: Your partner sounds like a drag, know what I mean?

David: Not really. Maddie is my partner.

Norman chokes on the gulp he just took from his drink. Blaire glares at him, sighs and rolls her eyes in David's direction. David slaps him on the back until he stops coughing.

Norman: Oh! Now that does sound interesting.

Blaire: I didn't realize you two worked together. I thought you were a couple.

Maddie (chattering nervously): We are. But before we…got together, we worked together too. I mean we still work together. But now we work together and…and…(and what, Maddie? Sleep together? Is that really what was coming out of your mouth, she thinks to herself, horrified.)

Blaire: Live together?

David: No, we don't live together. I still have my own place and she has hers.

Blaire: How convenient. Sometimes I wish I had a man who would come and go when I wanted him to.

She looks pointedly at Norman, who looks down and pretends to be very interested in the ice cubes floating in his drink. Maddie could swear she saw a look of dread on his face before he lowered his eyes.

David: Your accent sounds like New York, Norm.

Norman : Well…you're right. Born and raised. I haven't lived there since junior high, but I guess you never lose the accent. I went to high school and college in…the Midwest. Then when I met Blaire we decided to move. We should have gone somewhere with a cheaper cost of living but Blaire wouldn't hear of it. She said if she was going to move it was going to be to sunny southern California. And I must say I agree with her. It may be a little more expensive to live here but the perks are sure worth it. We're just blown away by how beautiful everything is. Even the people are beautiful. Take Maddie, know what I mean?

He toasts her with his drink, and Maddie smiles over at him, grateful to finally be a focal point of conversation. Very irritated over the way this guy is leering at Maddie, David says sarcastically:

David: Yeah, I'll take her, Norm, know what I mean?

Maddie: David!

Maddie smacks David's arm.

Maddie: So Norman, where did you live in the Midwest? I grew up in Chicago-

Blaire: Maddie, I have something I'd like to show you. Do you like jewelry?

Blaire firmly takes Maddie by the arm and leads her away. Maddie looks back at David as she's being led, and trips again as she walks out of the room.

Norman (laughing, after the women are out of earshot): Boy, and here I thought all you Californians were into kinky stuff like wife swapping. I was hoping, know what I mean?

David: I think I do. Sorry she's not for lease.

Norman: Don't get me wrong. Blaire is a beautiful woman, but there's just so much tempting merchandise here, much more than back home, know what I mean?

David: Yeah. I'm not tempted, though.

Norman: Why would you ever be tempted by anything else with her around?

David: It's taken me a long time to convince her of that. I'm not going to blow it now.

Norman: Boy, you sound bewitched Dave.

David (looking toward the exit Maddie just went through): Maybe I am.

(He turns back around to face his host.) So what kind of business are you in?

Norman: I'm a researcher. Pretty boring stuff, actually. Not half as exotic or should I say erotic as your work must be. Say, maybe I should hire you. We've been having some burglaries at my lab and the cops haven't been much help. They can't watch the place twenty-four/seven, know what I mean?

David: Well, why don't you call the office and make an appointment.

He hands Norman a business card.

Norman (nodding toward the exit): Can she take my case?

David: Not without my close personal supervision.

David starts feeling anxious to find Maddie and get the hell out of here.

Norman: I bet she's pretty high maintenance, right?

David: What?

Norman: Like with Blaire if I don't tell her I love her and how beautiful she is at least once a day, I'm in the dog house, know what I mean?

David: Maddie's had men tell her she's beautiful all her life. She knows what she looks like; she doesn't need me reminding her.

Norman: Yeah, but I bet you have to pay for a lot of facials, manicures, hairdos, clothes, lunches out with the girls, stuff like that.

David: She owns her own business. She has her own money, man. She doesn't come to me for handouts.

Norman: Well, what does she need you for Dave?

David is getting more annoyed with this guy by the minute. And he hates that he has to look up at him.

David: Aside from the obvious, she keeps me around for basic home repairs.

Norman: That's her house too?

David: All hers. She earned every penny that went into it.

Norman: You must be a pretty secure guy to be able to handle such an independent woman.

David: I don't handle her. I let her handle me.

Norman: Yeah, I guess I wouldn't mind being a kept man.

David: Whoa-

Norman: She looks like she could raise the Titanic, know what I mean?

He elbows David and raises his eyebrows suggestively.

David: That is my-(What? Girlfriend? Yeah, right. Lover? Mistress? What do you call a mature woman you're in love with but not married to?) …partner you're talking about Norman. I'd appreciate it if you could keep your comments to yourself.

Norman: Hey no offense. I'm just saying you're a lucky guy that's all.

David: Then just say I'm a lucky guy and leave it at that…

He thinks: "Kept man"? I've got to get out of here before I pop this guy. I don't care if he is a foot taller than I am. Where the hell is Maddie…

The women are in the study, looking at some jewelry that Blaire has removed from the safe.

Blaire: Maddie, I have to say you are a lucky woman. David is so handsome. Just the type of man I, oops, I mean any woman would be proud to be seen with at any occasion. I'll bet you have a very active social life. Lots of business dinners, galas, Hollywood parties. Ooh, have you two ever attended the Oscars?

Maddie snorts, then quickly brings her hand up to her face, embarrassed.

Maddie: David Addison at the Oscars? I don't think so. He'd be challenging Steven Spielberg to a drinking contest. I went once, a long time ago. Before I knew David.

Maddie looks wistful as if she's thinking back to a happy time.

Blaire: Too bad. I bet he looks luscious in a tux.

Maddie's mind drifts back to the few times she's seen David in a tuxedo. Buenos Aires…his father's wedding…Walter and Terry's wedding.

Maddie (smiling): Yes, he does.

Blaire, these pieces are beautiful. Are they family heirlooms?

Blaire: Some are. Some are just things I've picked up at estate sales. I love jewelry. Some of the pieces I have are very rare and exceptional.

Maddie: They're all very lovely. This ring here is so unusual.

She picks up a heavy wide band ring with a rich lavender gemstone set in it.

Blaire: I was hoping you'd notice that one. It's a very rare two carat purple sapphire, bezel set in platinum. My maternal grandmother gave it to me.

Maddie: I think it's just about the most beautiful ring I've ever seen.

Blaire: It's my favorite too. I knew I felt a connection to you. You know this ring is supposed to have mystical properties. It is supposed to make you very powerful spiritually.

If Maddie thought this woman was strange before, she knows it now. She begins to feel very uncomfortable in her presence.

Maddie: Really. That's very interesting. Don't you think we should get back to the guys now?

Blaire is staring her down once again.

Blaire: Maddie, I want to give you this ring.

Maddie: No, I'm sure it has enormous sentimental value for you. I couldn't accept it.

Blaire: Yes, you could. It will look beautiful on you. Wear it until the end of the week, and if you don't like it bring it back to me.

Blaire places the ring on Maddie's left ring finger. It fits snugly, like it will never come off.

Maddie: Honestly, Blaire. I couldn't. What if something happened to it? What if it got stolen or lost? I'd feel awful.

Maddie tries twisting the ring off her finger, but she can't get it off.

Blaire (smiling like the cat who ate the canary): You're a private detective, right? If it got lost or stolen, you could find it. Besides, it fits perfectly. It won't fall off. I think you'll be surprised at what a ring like this could do for you, Maddie. It is very powerful. It can bring you whatever your heart desires. It might even be able to bring back your fame.

Maddie: You've got a lot to learn, Blaire. Sorry, fame and fortune never did much for me.

Blaire: What do you mean?

Maddie is confused by her own openness toward Blaire. It's as if she's hooked up to a lie detector when Blaire fixes her with her hypnotic stare. Her mind goes blank, then the only thing that comes out of her mouth is - unfortunately - the truth!

Maddie: Well, when I was a model I had my house, a large staff to take care of it, lots of jewelry, clothes, cars, men. I traveled a great deal which was fun, but I wasn't really happy. I thought I was, but my life didn't really begin until I lost it all.

Blaire: You lost it all?

Maddie: Well, almost all of it. My accountant embezzled just about every penny I had, and at the time I was devastated, but I'd never be where I am now if it hadn't happened. (She looks toward the living room.) And I can't imagine not being where I am now.

Blaire: I can't imagine losing all my money like that. You can't possibly be happier now, after losing everything. Although I have to admit, maybe a man like David could make up for a lot. He's pretty easy on the eyes.

Maddie: Yes he is, isn't he? And yes, I am happier now. I never would have met David if I hadn't lost my money. Besides, I'm doing all right. I have enough money to live the way I want to.

Blaire: It must have been fate. Well, I think I'd kill myself if I lost everything. My things are so important to me. Sometimes I think about what I would save if there was a fire. You know how most people would save family photos, legal papers, stuff like that. I know the first thing I'd go for-my jewelry. Then probably my mink coat, I don't know.

Maddie: How about Norman? Or Diablo?

Blaire: I think he'd grab his baseball card collection. Diablo wouldn't want to grab anything now, would he?

Maddie: That's not what I meant-oh never mind. Okay, if you insist, I'll take the ring, but I'm bringing it back at the end of the week.

All of a sudden, Maddie isn't quite so enthralled with her hostess. She just wants to get away from her as soon as possible. If she could only get this ring off her finger.

Blaire: Wear it until Halloween night and promise me you won't take it off until then. If you do, bad things could happen.

Maddie: That seems pretty silly. Okay, since I can't seem to get it off anyway, I won't take it off until I bring it back on Halloween.

Maddie looks down at her hand. This certainly is a beautiful ring. The stone has a soothing quality. The color is so fascinating; the emerald cut makes it look like there are steps leading down to the depths of it. Wearing it makes her feel…what? Beautiful? Young? …What is she thinking?

The women rejoin the men in the living room and both Maddie and David look much more uneasy than they did a few minutes ago.

Blaire: Norman, where is my drink?

Norman: Right here, honey.

Blaire: The ice has melted. Fix me another one now, please.

Maddie and David (simultaneously): I think we should be going.

Maddie: I'm sorry. I haven't been feeling well today. If I'm coming down with something I don't want to give it to either of you.

Norman: Unfortunately, you haven't been close enough to me to give me anything, Maddie. I guess we'll just have to make it another time.

After they say their goodnights and Maddie carefully steps over the threshold, they stand outside the neighbors' front door, look at each other and shake their heads.

David: Are those two a marriage counselor's dream or what?

They begin the walk home, hand in hand. Maddie looks up at the clear night sky, noticing there's no moon lighting their path. Then she stumbles down the porch steps.

David: Have a nice trip, Grace?

Maddie: Shut up. It turned into a beautiful evening. I thought I heard it was supposed to be stormy all week. Oh well, can't always believe the weatherman.

They walk along in silence for a few moments.

Maddie: Everything in that house is black and white.

David: Including her eyes.

Maddie: You noticed. I thought you'd take a strong interest in her.

David: I wouldn't call it an interest, more like a curiosity. She reminds me of someone.

Maddie: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark?

David (thinking seriously): I was thinking more like Angelina Jolie. What's with you? Except for that Virginia Wolfe scene at the end she seemed all right. But what do you make of her thing with her cat?

Maddie: What do you make of this?

She holds out her hand and shows him the ring.

David: Wow.

Maddie: She insisted I take it and wear it all week until Halloween. It's supposed to bring me luck or some such nonsense. It is really beautiful, isn't it?

David: Yes, it is. It's pretty weird though, to give something like that to someone you don't even know. It was really generous of her.

Maddie: Generous? I think she feels sorry for me. She thinks I have to be miserable because I lost all my money, and this is supposed to bring all that back I guess. And here I was thinking I could like her, that we might have something in common. How could I be such a bad judge of character?

David: Years of practice.

Maddie: Jerk. Talk about shallow. What a twit!

David: Twit? I didn't get that impression at all. In fact, she's not at all like you described her. I didn't see no star struck teeny bopper in that living room tonight.

Maddie gives him a look that could freeze water from fifty paces.

David: I think she's trying to be friendly.

Maddie: Yeah, and all the while she's trying to make friends with me, she's checking out your ass……I mean assets.

David: What, are you jealous?

Maddie: Jealous? Of what? Of her? No way.

David: Yes way.

Maddie: You're being ridiculous. I just didn't like the way she stared at you all night with those cobra eyes. Like you were the rat she was going to have for dinner.

David: So now I'm a rat. Thanks a lot. And you're jealous because you think I like her.

Maddie: Like a rat likes cheese.

David (smiling): Not as much as I like you. Never as much as I like you. I'd go to the ends of the earth for you, Maddie.

Maddie: Yes, but would you stay there?

This conversation is taking a definite downturn he thinks. She sounds a little too much like the old Maddie. A little too cold, a little too contemptuous. David thinks he must be getting soft if he can't take one of her barbs anymore. Oh, forget it. She didn't mean anything by it.

David: Now, about that husband of hers…All he's missing is the tape around his glasses and the pocket protector. He's Lurch in a lab coat.

Maddie: He was a nice guy. She treated him horribly, don't you think?

David: Nice guy? You should have heard the sexist comments he was making about you.

Maddie: Jealous?

David: Me? Nah, I just think he's a moron. And I want you to promise me that if he ever comes over when I'm not around, you won't answer the door.

She's touched by his concern, but a little irritated at his possessiveness. He stops walking, turns her around, wraps his arms around her and kisses her intensely.

Maddie (breathlessly): What was that for?

David: I'm a lucky guy, Maddie and I don't need a stupid ring to prove it. (grinning) ) I'm young, healthy, unbelievably good looking, I have a pretty interesting job. (touching her cheek) I have you, finally. I'm pretty satisfied with my life.

Maddie: Other than the good looking part, I'll buy that. So what's wrong, David?

David: I guess spending time with those people tonight made me realize how good we have it. They seem so unsatisfied with their lives and each other-

Both at the same time: know what I mean?

They chuckle and resume the walk home.

Maddie: She's so materialistic.

David: And he must never get laid.

Maddie: At least we did our duty and met the neighbors. Now we don't have to spend any more time with them.

David stops dead in his tracks again.

Maddie: What is it David?

David: Our good buddy Norman has a case and wants to talk to us about it. If he calls, Bert and I will handle it.

Maddie: Still being the boy scout, David? I can manage him.

David: No way. I don't want you anywhere near that guy.

Maddie: I swear, testosterone should be a controlled substance. If you don't want me to have anything to do with him why don't you tell him you don't want his case? Tell him we're too busy.

David: Things have been a little slow lately. We could use a new case. Bert can take care of it.

Maddie: But David. Don't you think he'll be offended if the agency takes his case and then you and I don't even work on it for him?"

David: I don't care if he's offended. There's just something about this guy that rubs me the wrong way.

Maddie: His wardrobe maybe?

David grabs her by the arms.

David: Promise me you'll kill me and put me out of my misery if I ever start acting like that. Or dressing like that.

They stand at the front door.

Maddie: I promise, David. Do you want to come in?

David: Only if we're not going to sleep.

Maddie (yawning): What do you want to do? I'm not watching that Dracula marathon on TV.

David: Use your imagination, your highness. How about you tell me a bedtime story. How about "The Candy Striper and the Bad, Bad Patient"?

Maddie: Really, David. Would you just give it up?

David: I promise not to be a jerk and I'll let you sleep.

Maddie: Well, I believe half of that.

He gives her a sad puppy dog look and she sighs and takes his hand, leading him into the house.



The next morning, Maddie's bedroom.

Maddie awakens feeling refreshed, like she's had the best night's sleep in months, even though she didn't sleep much last night. She looks over at David, still snoozing, his mouth wide open, his body arranged in what cannot possibly be a comfortable position. But that's David. And he's hers, whether she wants him or not. Now, what made her think that?

She gingerly gets out of bed and goes into the bathroom to take a shower. When she's getting dressed for work, he walks into her dressing area, a towel wrapped dangerously low around his waist, dripping water everywhere. He kisses her good morning.

Maddie: David, you're ruining my make up, not to mention my clothes.

David: Oops, sorry your highness. Just couldn't wait for that good morning kiss. I hardly got any last night. In fact, you didn't seem very interested in what we were doing last night. That's not like you.

Maddie (irritated): Are you finished with the editorial comments, David? I just have a lot on my mind. Okay, you got your kiss, now go away.

David: That's not very nice. Especially after how nice I've been to you. See, you can't wipe the grin off your face.

Maddie: I'm not smiling because of that. Look what I found this morning in a purse I haven't used in awhile.

She produces two one hundred-dollar bills.

Maddie: It's not like me to forget about money like that.

David: It sure as hell isn't. Pretty lucky don't you think?

Maddie: It's fortuitous that's all. How about I treat you to dinner tonight at a restaurant of your choice? Pick somewhere romantic and we'll meet around eight.

David: You want me to pick the restaurant? Aren't you afraid I'll pick somewhere inappropriate for an ex homecoming queen?

Maddie (holding up her ring finger): I'm feeling lucky, remember?

Maddie's in her office late that afternoon playing her tenth game of spider solitaire on her computer.

Maddie: I haven't lost a hand yet. (She looks at the ring twinkling on her finger.) Must be a glitch in the computer.

There's been a flurry of activity all day, and new cases are suddenly appearing out of nowhere. David has been out of the office most of the day, schmoozing with various clients or potential clients. She looks at the pile of new cases that sits on her desk.

Maddie: Boy, it's feast or famine around here lately.

Exhausted and ready to go home, she's not very happy when Agnes' voice comes over the intercom.

Agnes: Ms. Hayes?

Maddie: Yes, Agnes?

Agnes: There's someone here to see you. Says he knows you from your modeling days. His name's Mr. Monte Cristo.

Maddie frowns. She can't recall a Mr. Monte Cristo. She hears a muffled discussion from the intercom. Maybe it would be easier if she came out of her office and handled this in person.

She walks into the outer office, and sees Ms. Dipesto being scolded by a man who looks up and smiles when he sees Maddie. He looks vaguely familiar. He holds out his hand for Maddie to shake.

Man: Chadwell Montcrief, (he looks sharply at Agnes) Ms. Hayes. I don't know if you remember me, but I certainly remember you.

Maddie smiles with recollection as she hears his name said correctly. He had been a handsome young executive when they had known each other. And he is still quite handsome. Tall, blonde, a dazzling smile, chiseled features; he started out as a model himself. Which is why he and Maddie had gotten along so well, why she had even considered him dating material at one time.

Maddie: Oh, of course I remember you, Chad. It's okay, Ms. Dipesto, I'll take Mr. Montcrief into my office. This way.

She shows him into a chair in front of her desk. She sits down and folds her hands in front of her as she takes in his aristocratic features. Why is it that some people age so much better than others she wonders. He says nothing for a moment; just sits and stares at her, making her feel slightly uncomfortable. All these people staring at her lately, she's not used to it anymore.

Maddie: So, what can I do for you Chad? And please don't call me Ms. Hayes. It's Maddie, okay?

Chad (still staring): Maddie, if I may be so bold, I just have to say that you are even more beautiful than I remember. The years have been good to you indeed.

Maddie: Thank you.

Chad: May I inquire…well…I don't see you wearing a wedding ring. That's not a wedding ring is it?

Maddie looks down at her hand and quickly removes it from the desk.

Maddie: No it's not.

Chad: Well, I'm happy to hear that. I can see why Blue Moon Shampoo was a best selling product when you were endorsing it. And actually, I'm here because I have a proposition for you.

Maddie: What kind of proposition?

Chad: As you may recall, I work for Blue Moon Shampoo's parent company. We've been doing some market research and you'll never believe what we've found.

Maddie: And what is that?

Chad: We found that Blue Moon Shampoo sales were never so high as when you were our spokesperson.

Maddie: How interesting.

Chad: That's not all we found. We found that sales have been decreasing progressively ever since you left.

Maddie: Huh. Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

Chad: That's where my proposition comes in, Maddie. We're starting a new ad campaign. We'd like you to be the focus. We'd like to bring you back.

Maddie: What?

Chad: Further research showed that there is a large share of mature women out there who don't relate to twenty year old models and who would go back to buying our product if you were endorsing it again.

Maddie: Chad, I'm flattered, but I haven't modeled in… well, in years. And I have a new life now. A business to run, people who depend on me…

Chad: Well, I can assure you, we'd definitely make it worth your while. This could be very lucrative. We're talking seven figures.

Maddie: Are you kidding me?

Chad: No I'm very serious. And we want to get going on this ASAP. Of course, if you turn us down, we'll try Cheryl Tiegs or possibly Cheryl Ladd.

Maddie: Please don't do that.

Chad: You're our first choice Maddie. I'd like to discuss this further with you over dinner tonight. And then maybe we can discuss things that have nothing to do with business… if you're free.

Maddie is still in shock.

Maddie: Okay…


Maddie's bedroom, that same evening. 7:30 PM.

Maddie is sitting at her dressing table, putting the finishing touches on her make up. A songs drifts from the speakers of her stereo in the bedroom.


sailing softly through the sun

in a broken stone age dawn

You fly… so high

I get a strange magic

Oh, what a… strange magic

Oh, it's a… strange magic

Got a strange magic

Got a strange magic


walking meadows in my mind

making waves across my time

oh no, oh no

I get a strange magic…

She puts down her lipstick and examines herself intently in the mirror. She says out loud:

Maddie: Well, Maddie, what do you think? Still got it?

David (singing in his falsetto voice): You got a strange magic. It's magic, it's magic, it's magic.

He's leaning against the doorjamb, admiring her. He's dressed in slacks and a sweater, much more casually than she is.

Maddie: David you scared me to death!

David: You look pretty good for a cadaver. You're a little overdressed for the place I picked for dinner though. Here, let me help you out of that dress into something more comfortable.

Maddie: What? Oh God, I forgot. Someone came in to the office today with a business proposition. I accepted a dinner invitation with him tonight. I'm sorry David. It's too late to cancel on him now.

David (looking hurt and disappointed): Oh. Well, since it's business, didn't I leave a suit over here last week? I'll just change and then when dinner is over-

Maddie: It doesn't have anything to do with the agency, David.

David: Okay…I'll bite. What does it have to do with?

Maddie: I'm really quite excited about it, and I do want to tell you about it. But I think I'd like to wait until I know more details about the offer. And I'd like to handle this alone.

David: Maddie, what's going on? It must be pretty big if it made you forget all about yours truly.

Maddie: David, stop. If you knew what this proposition was you'd forget a few things too.

David: Okay now you have to tell me.

Maddie: Well, I can tell you it involves a great deal of money.

David: Ah, your highness, you're back. I almost didn't recognize you without your crown. I thought money didn't matter that much to you anymore, Maddie.

Maddie: I have to be practical. Face it David. Where else am I going to get financial security? From this up and down business? From you? We're talking about a lot of money here. National exposure.

David: What are you thinking of exposing?

Maddie: Me.

David: This guy's name wouldn't be Hugh Hefner would it?

Maddie: Of course not.

David: Larry Flint?

Maddie: Would you get your mind out of the sewer for a moment please?

She is very excited, grinning ear to ear.

Maddie: Blue Moon Shampoo is asking me to come back and do some ads for them. I don't know if they want print or television or what. That's what this dinner is about. To iron out the details.

David: Sounds like you've made up your mind to do this. So what happens to the business while you're off traipsing around getting your picture taken?

Maddie: You can run things by yourself. You've done it before.

David: But I don't want to run things by myself. That's why I have a partner, partner.

Maddie: I'm sure this is a one shot deal David. I won't be gone for long.

David: I've heard that one before. (He looks into the camera) They've heard that one before.

She suddenly lashes out at him in a way that he feels is way out of proportion to their conversation.

Maddie: God, you are so infuriating! Why is it when something good happens to me, you are always threatened by it? I swear, sometimes I think you don't want me to succeed. You're so selfish!

David: Me? Selfish? Sounds to me like you've got some private demons you never exorcised in your youth, Maddie. Otherwise, why would you want to take a step backwards?

Maddie: Backwards? You just want me to be dependent on you!

David: But-

Maddie: Well, I sure as hell can't depend on you Addison. The only backward step I took was when I got involved with you again.

David: Whoa, whoa, whoa, where the hell is all this crap coming from?

The doorbell rings before she can respond. Maddie walks downstairs in a huff and opens the door. David stands on the landing and sees her angry expression suddenly change into a beaming smile as she greets an arrogant looking man in a tuxedo, holding a bouquet of flowers. This guy looks like Maddie's type, he seethes.

Chad doesn't notice David at first. He takes Maddie's hand and kisses it, then presents the flowers to her, all the while never taking his eyes off her face.

Maddie: Chad, how lovely. Please come in and meet my…(Lover? Boyfriend? Guy?) …partner, David Addison.

The men introduce themselves and shake hands, then wait silently for the other shoe to drop. David can't believe her aloofness.

Maddie: Well, I guess we're off. David, are you going to stay here and wait for me?

David: What for? No, I'm leaving.

Maddie: Okay. I'll probably be out pretty late anyway.

He wants to tell her to stay so they can talk about that train wreck that just happened upstairs. Instead, his old defensiveness takes over; he decides to put on a show for Maddie's date.

David (in his southern twang): Just look at you two. All dolled up like Barbie and Ken, ready for a night on the town. You make a pretty cute couple. You two kids could be bookends.

Chad: Excuse Me?

He spies a limo waiting outside. He looks over at Chad and says,

David: Just make sure you have her home by midnight, or this here homecoming queen may turn back into a regular old filly. And that thing out there might turn into a pumpkin.

Chad: I beg your pardon?

David walks over to Maddie, takes her hand, brings it to his lips, then kisses the ring on her finger instead. He looks deeply into her eyes.

David: Hope you get lucky. Have a good time your highness.

Maddie glares at him. He turns around and walks out the door.


Blue Moon Investigations, the following morning, 9:00

Maddie walks into David's office, an indignant look on her face. He's in his chair facing the window.

Maddie: Hi.

David (as he turns around to face her): Hi.

Maddie: Still mad at me? Well, I'm not too thrilled with the Billy Bob impression you did last night, David. You may think it's hugely funny to embarrass me in front of other people, but I have to tell you, I don't appreciate it one bit. However, I guess I did treat you somewhat shabbily as well, so if you have anything to say, lay into me.

She flops down on the couch in front of him, expectantly.

David: Me? Mad at you? It's going to take more than one prima donna moment to get rid of me.

Maddie: Prima donna? You're calling me a prima donna?

David: Just because you blow me off to go out on the town with Prince Charmless and his limo so you can hear about how beautiful and wonderful you are and how much money you can make hawking shampoo. Nah. By the way, how is Thad this morning?

Maddie: It's Chad, David, and you know it. And since I haven't seen or heard from him this morning, I have no idea how he is.

David: Good.

Maddie: I guess I look perfectly disgusting to you.

David gets up from his desk and joins her on the couch.

David: Maddie, you look perfectly perfect to me. You're acting a little weird though. Come on. You don't need to do this Hollywood shuffle to know you still have it. Whatever "it" is.

Maddie: David, it's a lot of money.

David: You said that already.

Maddie: And I have to admit that I'm flattered. It's awfully hard to turn away from all this attention.

David: But you did come to your senses and decide to turn it down, right?

Maddie: Well…

David: You said yes? You want to go back to being the homecoming queen, don't you?

Maddie: (angrily) It would be totally irresponsible of me to turn them down. Think of what this could do for us, for our future.

David: Funny, I saw our future pretty clearly up until now. Now it's getting a little blurry.

Maddie: David, would you turn down millions of dollars for a few months of work?

His eyes widen and he stares at her.

Maddie: Yeah, I thought so. If the shoe were on the other foot, you'd bolt out the door so fast you wouldn't give me a second thought.

David: So are you?

Maddie: So am I what?

David: Going to bolt out the door and not give me a second thought.

Maddie: Believe it or not, you're all I've been thinking about. I don't want to hurt you, David. But I can't understand why you feel so intimidated. Do you feel this gives me more leverage in the relationship?

David: "More leverage in the relationship"? God, why does this sound so familiar? Maddie, my concern has nothing to do with who's got the leverage in the relationship. Whatever the hell that means. I just don't want to see you get hurt. I'm just thinking that at your age-

Maddie: Are you telling me I'm too old? That I'm over the hill? Well, I think you're scared I might be more fulfilled if I do this. Maybe it will lead to other opportunities that have nothing to do with you.

David: But-

Her temper flares in another quick flash.

Maddie: You're threatened by my success, especially if it has nothing to do with you. You want to sabotage me. You acted the same way when I went to Buenos Aires!

David: Threatened? If I'm so threatened by your money why didn't I sabotage this joint? God, Maddie, your mood swings lately are going to drive you to Prozac. Or drive me the hell out of here.

Maddie looks at him for a moment, then says quietly:

Maddie: I'm sorry. What was I thinking? But, this offer is so tempting! Part of me thinks this would be a big mistake; people might laugh at me. I might wind up as a running joke on Jay Leno. But another part of me… maybe the vain homecoming queen part, feels like this is my last chance to do something with my life.

David: Haven't you done enough already?

Maddie: I don't know. I told them I needed some time to think about it. But they want my decision before the first of the month.

David sighs and rubs his hand over his face.

David: Maddie, what ever you decide to do, I'm behind you. I'll even let them call me Mr. Hayes. I'll even take care of the mutt while you're away. Speaking of which, while you were on your way in to work, Blaire called. Apparently, the dog got out again. She said she'll keep her there until you get home tonight.

Maddie: But I worry about her being around that cat.

David: Okay, well, how about I go get her, then pick us up a couple of steaks for dinner tonight. You finish up the monthly billing with Bert.

Maddie: Thank you David.

David: No thanks necessary. It'll give me a chance to make sure your bed was slept in last night.

Maddie: Well, I was in it, but I didn't sleep much.

David: Oh really, what the hell were you doing in it?

Maddie (yawning): Tossing and turning. Dreaming about you.

David: What a coincidence. I was dreaming about me too. Were you also dreaming about money and power and fame?

She says nothing. Now it's her turn to stare.

David: So, are you going to let me ride in your limo?

Maddie: Of course.

David: You offering me a job as your driver? Mmm, I feel another sex game in the works, "the Chauffeur and the Rich B-"

Maddie: You really are a degenerate, Addison. Well, I'd better get to the billing statements.

David: And I better get going. Norman also called about his case. So I'll need to head to his lab too.

Maddie: Sounds great. Dinner sounds great too. After spending all day with my nose to the grindstone with Bert, I probably won't feel much like cooking.

David: Thank God.

Maddie: Very funny. Go. I'll see you tonight.

David: I love it when you get authoritative.

She kisses him on the cheek and walks out of the office. He sits on the couch looking after her, his expression changing instantly as she shuts the door. In place of his trademark grin he is wearing a worried frown. What's with her lately?

Maddie returns to her desk and her pile of paperwork. She thinks:

Things have been going so smoothly for us lately. Why am I suddenly feeling so unsatisfied with my life? Why do I feel like I'm not in control of what's happening?

She broods for a minute, looking down at her hand.

Maddie: This is stupid.

She goes into the bathroom, soaps up her finger and removes the ring Blaire gave her. She sticks it in her pocket and gets down to work. The camera pans to her office window, where storm clouds are gathering.


Act IV

6:00 PM that evening, Maddie's house.

Maddie is pulling up to her house with her windshield wipers on high, as bullets of rain hit the hood of her car. She sees police cars, gawking neighbors and yellow crime scene tape wrapped around Norman's front yard. Media vans are pulling up to the curb as she runs into her own house and sees David sitting in the living room on the sectional, surrounded by police officers.

David: Hi, Honey. Sorry about dinner. We've had a slight change of plans. A little homicide next door kind of put a damper on things. This is Officer Welsh.

Maddie: Homicide? Whose?

Welsh: The owner's.

Maddie: Norman? How awful. What did she do, shoot him?

Welsh: She?

Maddie: His wife, Blaire. I knew there was something sinister about her.

Welsh: Mr. Beights wasn't married. He lived alone.

Maddie: No, he didn't. We went over there the other night for cocktails. With the both of them and their cat. He said she was his wife-Wait a minute. His name was Norman Bates?

Welsh: Beights. Spelled B-E-I-G-H-T-S.

David: Maddie, remember, he introduced himself as her main man. He never said he was her husband.

Maddie: But she lives there. I know she does. When I went there earlier that day, she answered the door. He wasn't even home. Wasn't she there today? Didn't you talk to her?

David: Actually, that's the weird part, now that you mention it. When I went over there to get the dog, the door was hanging open, Blaire was in hysterics, and then it gets a little fuzzy. I know she showed me a rather large pool of blood in the living room.

Maddie: Oh my God, David. How awful.

David: And then I turned around and she wasn't there, Maddie. I looked for her all over the house and I couldn't find her. That's when I called these guys.

Welsh: Look, ma'am. I don't know what you two are trying to pull here, but no Blaire lives there. All his employees said he lived alone, no wife. And we've been dusting the whole place for prints. So far all we've come up with are Mr. Beights', the cleaning woman and Mr. Addison's. No one else. And no women's clothes in the closet, toiletries in the bathroom. And no cat hair. No evidence whatsoever that a woman or a cat ever inhabited that place. And unfortunately, no body. Just blood.

Maddie: What about the safe in the study? It was full of women's jewelry.

Welsh: Even if we do find that to be the case, that's still not evidence that a woman was cohabiting there. Frankly, since we found Mr. Addison's fingerprints and business card in the middle of the pool of blood, he's looking like a pretty good suspect.

David: (looking at Maddie imploringly) Pretty weird, huh Maddie?

Maddie: This is absurd. What possible motive could David have for killing a perfect stranger?

Welsh: Jealousy maybe? The neighbors have seen Mr. Beights hanging around in front of your house at night. Maybe Mr. Addison found out that he was part of a love triangle and didn't like it.

Maddie: That is so ludicrous it's almost funny! I don't even know the man. I met him for the first time the other night.

Officer #2: Hey, Welsh, come here.

Officer Welsh confers with his partner who has been thumbing through Maddie's old yearbook. He points at something; Welsh looks down, frowns and looks back up at Maddie.

Officer Welsh: Did you say you didn't know Mr. Beights, Ms. Hayes?

Maddie: That's right.

Officer Welsh: You sure about that? Because I swear I see his name and photo in this yearbook.

Maddie: That's impossible. I told you we'd never met until the other night.

Maddie and David both look at the photo at which Officer Welsh is pointing. They scrutinize it for a moment. Then they exchange bewildered looks.

David: Guess you should have paid more attention to the guys in the Math Club, Maddie.

We fade to black as the theme from the Twilight Zone plays.


Maddie's house, 11:00 PM

After hours of questioning by the police and reporters at the door, the house is finally quiet. Maddie and David sit in the living room, staring off into space.

David: You okay?

Maddie: I'm okay. How about you?

David: Well, I can't believe you didn't know you went to high school with a guy named Norman Bates. Also, I can't say I'm feeling too thrilled about being a murder suspect.

Maddie: David, they have no evidence. They know that. That's why they didn't arrest you tonight.

David: My memory about this afternoon is real foggy. I need to find out what happened in there. I've got to get into that house.

Maddie: You mean break in?

David: Hey easy with those terms. We call it searching for the truth. It's sort of my specialty. Go put on your blackest outfit, Goldilocks. We're going in.

Maddie: You make it sound like a suicide mission.

David: Hopefully not. But we need to find something to show the cops that she pulled a disappearing act.

Maddie: More like she ran away after killing poor Norman.

David: Don't you think it's a little strange that they can't find a trace of her there? And no cat hair. I can't believe Catzilla didn't cough up a few fur balls. It's all pretty weird.

Maddie: I'm sure there's an explanation. A logical explanation.

David: Like what? LA cops can't be that incompetent.

Maddie: What are you suggesting? She's a witch or a ghost or something? I think your imagination is running away with you.

Suddenly, there is a clap of thunder and a simultaneous flash of lightning. Maddie jumps.

Maddie: Oh David, look!

Maddie points toward the french doors where the glowing golden eyes are staring at them again. They jump up and run out the doors, following the cat into the shadows of the storm that's starting up a new head of steam. They run across the lawn as a sheet of rain starts pouring down on them. David trips over a lawn chair and Maddie topples over him.

Maddie: David! Are you all right?

David: (scrambling to his feet and pulling Maddie up) I'm fine! Follow that feline!

Maddie, do you know what this is? It's a virtual chase scene!

Maddie: I hope we can pull it off without the stunt people and the soundtrack.

David: And without the milk truck, or hot air balloon, or soap bubbles or the beemer.

They climb over the six-foot concrete fence separating Maddie's yard from her neighbors, Maddie going first. She gets stuck at the top; David has to push her by the behind to get her over. She lands with a thud and a few seconds later he lands on top of her.

Maddie: Get off me please.

He rolls off her and she gets up and starts moving slowly toward the house.

Maddie: Some chase. God, I wish there were a moon tonight so we could see where we're going. How-

He squints into the darkness looking for her.

David: Maddie? Maddie, where are you? I can't see a-

He disappears. Next we see his head pop out of the water of a swimming pool. Maddie's head bobs up and down beside him.

Maddie: Didn't you hear the splash when I went in?

David: What, in this downpour?

Maddie: Help me out of here, will you please?

He pushes her out of the pool, then pushes himself out, landing on top of her.

Maddie: Get off of me, David! Is this your subtle way of trying to tell me something?

David: Hey, I know things have been a little off in the bedroom lately, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind.

Maddie: Sssshhhhhh!

As they stand up there's a flash of lightning, and they see a black form in the shadows next to the house. The glowing eyes shine at them for a moment, then are gone. Maddie and David split up and slow to a creep hoping to corner the animal.

David: That's a hell of a cat, but I think I can take him.

David hurls himself at the cat like he's throwing himself on a land mine, but Diablo escapes his grip.

Maddie tries another tack.

Maddie: Diablo, here kitty, kitty, kitty.

David: Yeah, that could work.

They hear a meow from the bushes. Maddie gives David a superior look, stoops down and puts her hand out toward the frightened cat. He immediately hisses and scratches her.

Maddie (sucking on her finger): Ow! That damn cat!

The cat cowers away from her, hissing. David is lying on the ground on his stomach, his chin propped on his hand, an amused look on his face.

Maddie: Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

David: Kitty doesn't quite suit him, Maddie. Try calling him what his mother used to call him: Meatloaf.

Lightning and thunder strike again. The cat claws at Maddie's outstretched hand, drawing blood, then runs along the foundation of the house until he finds an open basement window and ducks through it.

David: He showed us a way into the house. Put on your gloves so you don't bleed everywhere. There's enough blood in there all ready. Come on.

He grabs her free hand and they eventually make it through the narrow window into the pitch black basement. David turns on a penlight and shines it around the large room. It is full of boxes, furniture, and a large freezer in the corner. Except for their breathing and the water dripping off them the house is silent as a tomb.

Maddie (hits him on the arm, points at the penlight): You had that the whole time we were fumbling around out there in the dark?

David: Yeah, and it's a good thing it's waterproof. Let's go upstairs to the room with the safe.

Maddie rolls her eyes and follows him. Staying close together, the penlight illuminating their path, they make their way up the basement stairs and through the kitchen. Maddie's stomach does a slow turn as she sees the pool of blood in the living room where just three nights ago they shared drinks with the couple they believed lived together in this house.

David: Well, except for the red stuff in here someone really went through and sanitized this place.

They walk into the study and David shines the light around the room until he sees a painting on the wall behind which is a small wall safe. Maddie places something on a shelf.

Maddie: Okay, I understand that breaking and entering is your specialty, but you don't know how to crack a safe David.

He's looking around the room.

Maddie: David? Are you listening to me?

David: I know what's wrong with this room, it just hit me. There are no books.

He walks around the study, checking the shelves full of ceramic figurines.

David: They got a couple of bookends, with no books between them-they got these damn Keebler elves, or whatever they are.

Maddie: Hummels.

David: Hummels?

Maddie: Yes, David. I had a collection of them too. I know what they are.

David: Didn't you mention collecting these in your yearbook? Somewhere in there between marching for world peace and meeting the Beatles?

Maddie: Will you stop babbling.

David: Maddie I think this guy was obsessed with you. Maybe he didn't have an "in" with the Beatles so he figured these were the next best thing.

Maddie: That's absurd. I've given that yearbook picture of his a lot of thought and I'm sure I never even met him. It's just a weird coincidence. Now are you coming up with anything?

David: Yeah, the willies. This place is way too clean. Either this chick was incredibly anal or a phantom house fairy got here before anyone else.

Maddie: Well, what are you looking for?

David: I'm not sure. Something that would prove to the police that Blaire exists.

Maddie: Like a witch's caldron, a broom, something like that?

David: Like a photo, driver's license, credit card bill, bank statement, appointment card.

Maddie: A psychiatrist's card no doubt. David, I think we're grasping at straws here and I'm afraid that cops guarding the house are going to notice us in here. We'll look guiltier than ever if they find us rummaging around in this house.

There's a movement behind Maddie. The cat seemingly darts from nowhere and jumps up on one of the bookshelves, knocking over a shelf full of figurines in the process. Startled and without thinking, Maddie screams. David slaps his hand over her mouth and glares at her. The sound of a slamming car door and feet running up the walk can be heard.

David: Didn't I teach you any better than this Blondie? Never scream when the cops are waiting outside unless you want them inside. Amscray!

Maddie nods her head vigorously.

They rush through the house, and into the basement just as the front door opens and two police officers come rushing in, guns drawn.

Officer #1: I'll check over here, you go that way.

Officer #2: Looks like something happened in the study. There's a mess in here.

Officer #1: What are those things?

Officer #2: Keebler elves, how should I know?

David gives Maddie a self-satisfied look as they close the basement door and listen from the other side.

Diablo speeds past the officers into the unyielding darkness outside the front door.

Officer #1: That cat must have been the sound we heard. But how'd it get in the house?

Officer #2: Must be a window or door open somewhere. We'd better check the whole place.

David's foot slips through the basement window just as an officer turns on the light and starts making his way slowly down the stairs. Maddie and David run across the lawn and jump over the fence, landing in another heap in her backyard.

David: Well, that was fun. Want to do it again tomorrow night?

Maddie rubs her foot, which was tangled with David's in the fall.

Maddie: You don't know the meaning of the word fear, David - but then again you don't know the meaning of most words.

Another snide remark from her. He gives her one of her own stern looks. He edges closer to her on the wet grass and rubs her foot but she doesn't want to feel his touch. She moves away from him.

David: I'm sensing we're not going to hit the sheets again tonight.

Maddie: What?

David: You sure are acting like a…

Maddie: Bitch?

David: You said it. Not me.

Maddie: Do you blame me? Look at us. Soaked to the gills, freezing, crawling around in the dark-

David: Kinda reminds me of that time when we were surveiling that psychic guy and had to jump off the roof into his pool.

She looks at him like he's something she might scrape off her shoe.

David: Well, it does, doesn't it? Remember? Except we're not getting shot at…and we're not in our underwear. But we could remedy that situation in a hurry.

Maddie: David stop trying to undress me all the time! God I hate Halloween.

David: It will all be over after tomorrow. Then are you going to go back to loving me again?

Maddie: What the hell are you talking about?

David: I'm talking about you. Treating me like I'm some loser who's not even qualified to carry your books home from school.

Maddie: Oh we're back to the high school analogies again.

They start talking at the same time: (You knew they would)

Maddie: Just because I haven't wanted sex lately.

David: Do you have terminal PMS or what?

Maddie: To you a relationship is completely centered on the bedroom.

David: Not a whole lot going on in the bedroom lately, but that's okay.

Maddie: Some things never change. I'm sick of this whole thing, David.

David: Every relationship has peaks and valleys. I guess we're in Death Valley right now, but that's okay.

Maddie: I shouldn't be breaking into my neighbor's house, even if he is dead. We almost got caught. But to you it's all a game. You'll never grow up, will you?

David: At least we're having fun. To bad we didn't get to search the joint since someone had to bring in the cops. So I guess we'll just have to go back in tomorrow.

Maddie: I can't believe I'm making this decision on the spur of the moment. I'm leaving tomorrow.

David: What?

Maddie: I'm leaving tomorrow, David. I'm accepting Blue Moon's offer. I'm leaving for a shoot in Hawaii.

David: When did you plan on telling me? Or did you plan on telling me?

Maddie: I'm telling you now.

David: How long will you be gone?

Maddie: I don't know. A couple of weeks I guess.

David: You guess. Well, I guess I'll get going. You must have a lot of packing to do. And I need to get a good night's sleep since I'm flying solo starting tomorrow.

Maddie: David, it's only for a couple of weeks.

David: If I get arrested, I'll have Agnes call and let you know. That is… if we know where you and Chip are staying.

Maddie: It's Chad, and I'll keep you posted.

David: Sure you will.

Maddie: David, you can stay with me tonight.

David: Nah, don't do me any favors. You're a big girl. You can stay by yourself tonight.

He picks himself up off the lawn then holds his hand out for her to take. She stands up and they face each other somberly. She moves in to kiss him, but he lowers his head.

Maddie: Okay, if that's the way you want to be about it.

David: Good bye, Maddie.

Maddie: Good night, David. I'll call you tomorrow.

He turns around and walks away. She stands in the mist for a long time, looking after him.


Maddie's bedroom, middle of the night.

Maddie is dreaming and mumbling in her sleep. The bedroom window opens slowly. Blaire appears in Maddie's dream.

Blaire: Maddie, wake up. The plan has finally been set in motion.

Maddie: What, planning another murder? You need a job, Blaire.

Blaire: I told you not to remove the ring Maddie. Now look at what you've done. You need to put it on now.

Maddie: You killed Norman. You're the one who's done something. And because of you, David is suspected of murder.

Blaire: That's your fault. You removed the ring. You changed the spell.

Maddie: You must be joking.

Blaire: I'm not and you know it. Now put the ring back on.

Maddie: I can't. I don't have it. I left it at your house tonight.

Blaire: You what? You idiot! You need to retrieve it!

Maddie: You're nuts if you think I'm going back over there. That steroidal cat of yours tried to kill me tonight, there are cops all over the place- How come there were no signs of you or that cat in the house?

Blaire: Stupid woman. Didn't you notice the central vacuum cleaner in the basement?

Maddie: How did you know we were in the basement? What vacuum cleaner?

Blaire: The cops didn't notice it either. But they will. Then they'll know David wasn't lying about a woman living in the house. They'll have the evidence they need to exonerate him.

Maddie: And convict you. Why did you do it? Were you jealous because Norman was obsessed with me?

Blaire: Oh get over yourself. You're such a foolish woman you know that? Norman wanted me to help him get to you. That's true. God knows why but he had a crush on you back in high school. He was a loser, and who pays attention to the losers, right? He said you never noticed him, even though he went out of his way to impress you. He said hello to you every day and you never even looked at him. You'd just walk by with your girlfriends and laugh. He spent thousands on that Hummel collection just because you loved the silly things so much.

Maddie: I haven't thought about that collection in years. I left it at home when I moved out.

Blaire: Typical. You were so self-obsessed how could you know there was anybody else on the planet of importance but you?

Maddie: I was never like that-

Blaire: Oh really? You still didn't recognize him when he came to your house.

Maddie: He's never been to my house.

Blaire: He delivered something to you a few days ago.

Maddie: You mean he brought those yearbooks?

Blaire: Do you know what the losers are doing while no one is paying attention, Maddie? They're imagining getting back at all the women who didn't want them and would never love them. GO GET THE RING!

An instant later Maddie finds herself in her nightgown standing in the living room of the house next door. The room is lit by tall candles flickering in the darkness.

Maddie (sheepishly): This isn't going to turn into another "netherworld" sequence, is it?

She turns around in the direction of the study and trips over her nightgown.

Blaire: Oh, I just love doing that!

Maddie looks around, a chill washing over her. She tiptoes into the study, finds the ring where she left it and puts it back on her finger.

Maddie: There! I did it. Now fix this mess! I can't believe I'm saying this. This is the weirdest dream ever.

Blaire appears behind her in a swirling mist.

Blaire: Believe it or not, Norman's moving next door to you was a coincidence. Or as I like to call it, fate. But he didn't want to have you, he wanted to ruin you. You made him miserable, so he wanted to make you miserable too. That's why he had me revive your career.

Maddie: How's a million dollars going to ruin me and make me miserable?

Blaire: Because you'll lose David in the process.

Maddie: You don't know David. He's very loyal. He'll never give up on me.

Blaire (smiling): He already has. Loyalty only goes so far. He's noticed the contempt in your voice when you speak to him. How quick you are to get angry at him. Didn't you wonder why you were tired all the time, or why you lost interest in sex? David is sure that you've given up on the two of you. Of course, I planted a little seed in his mind this afternoon when he came over just to be sure. Now that the ring is on your finger the course has been set.

Maddie: You witch!

Blaire: What is it you Californians say? Duh. Now you'll keep falling in love with the idea of getting back what you had a long time ago. And David will fall in love with me.

Maddie: Is that why you got rid of Norman?

Blaire: He wanted me for himself. Can you really see me with him? Please!

Maddie: So you admit you murdered him!

Blaire: Did I say that? I just made him go away, that's all.

Maddie: But you want David.

Blaire: And you want fame and fortune.

Maddie: No I don't. You are the one who's obsessed with fame.

Blaire: That little show was just for your benefit. I needed to plant a few seeds with you as well. To make you start thinking about those things again. To make you want them again. And now you'll have them.

I have to admit, Maddie, you've been a challenge. Usually a few strands of hair do the trick. (Maddie's hand goes to the back of her head.) But you're a tough woman. You needed a little extra push. That's why I gave you the ring. It possesses very powerful magic. It was starting to work, but not fast enough to suit me, so I had Diablo procure your blood tonight. Now, this is the strongest spell I've ever conjured, and still you resist me. Your feelings for David must be very strong.

Maddie: I don't believe this-

Blaire: Just because you don't believe in something doesn't mean it isn't true. Come on Maddie. Admit it. Don't you love being sought after? Wouldn't you love to attend the Oscars again, be a social butterfly? Wouldn't you love your old career back? Wouldn't you love to be young and rich again? These last few days have been really fun for you. Limo rides, nice dinners, handsome men groveling at your feet. You won't get those things with David. You don't need him.

Maddie: You don't get it. Life's not about money or fame or prestige or youth. It's about saving your heart and soul in a world that doesn't put much value on either anymore. For that I need him. Now you don't have any power over me or over David. So get the hell out of my dream!

Maddie starts trying to pull the ring off her finger, but it is stuck.

Blaire: NO!

She licks her finger and finally twists the ring off it and throws it at the image of Blaire. As soon as the ring hits her, the burning candles fall to the floor. Maddie falls back and puts her arm up to her face to shield herself from the fire. She hears a cat hissing behind her. She screams and sits up and finds herself in her own bed. The curtains are billowing in a soft breeze, and dawn's light is coming through the window.

Maddie (breathing heavily): Wow! What a nightmare.

She looks down at her hand. No ring. Of course not.

She thinks: My heart's pounding louder than a runaway train. My adrenaline level was so high there for a while, I bet I could have flown right out of this window.

What is that light coming through the window?

She looks at the clock beside her bed. It reads 2:35AM. Too early for daylight.

Maddie: You're losing it Maddie. Just go back to sleep.

Then she hears sirens in the distance. She gets out of bed and moves toward the window.


Act V

Halloween night; Blue Moon Investigations

David sits in his office, alone in the dark. His chair facing the window, he can hear the office party getting pretty raucous outside his door, but he has no desire to be there orchestrating the fun. He's got the stereo blaring, attempting to drown it out. Rob Thomas's voice fills the room.

I think I've already lost you

I think you're already gone

I think I'm finally scared now

You think I'm weak, I think you're wrong

I think you're already leaving

Feels like your hand is on the door

I thought this place was an empire

Now I'm relaxed I can't be sure…

There's a knock on the door.

David: Come in.

Agnes comes in dressed as Zena, Warrior Princess. She goes over to the stereo and turns down the volume. David doesn't turn around.

Agnes: Mr. Addison? Are you going to join the party?

David: I'm not in much of a partying mood, Agnes.

Agnes: You have to save us. It's no fun without you and Bert has had too much to drink and he's taken over the party. He keeps trying to drown MacGilicuddy in the apple bobbing bucket.

David (turning around in his chair, looking Agnes up and down, smiling): Well, why don't you take control of those two. You look qualified.

Agnes sighs, noticing that his smile doesn't hide the sad look in his eyes. She sits on the couch and joins the reverie.

…And I think you're so mean

I think we should try

I think I can need this in my life and

I think I'm scared

I think too much

I know it's wrong, it's a problem

I'm feeling

If you're gone

Maybe it's time to come home

There's an awful lot of breathing room

But I can hardly move

If you're gone

Baby you need to come home

Come home

There's a little bit of something me in everything in you…

Agnes: I wonder what Ms. Hayes is doing right now?

David: Probably lying on a beach getting a cocoa butter back rub from some cabana boy.

Agnes: She'll have a nice tan when she comes back.

David: Uh huh.

Agnes: She said a couple of weeks, right?

David: Right.

Agnes: Mr. Addison, what's wrong?

David: Huh? Oh, nothing Agnes.

Agnes: I know you miss her, but I guess she couldn't give up such a great opportunity. She'll be back soon.

David: Will she?

Agnes: You men are so insecure. Of course she's coming back. She wouldn't leave us for good. She wouldn't leave you. Not after everything you've been through together. Not after that big dip in the ratings we took in season three.

David: You think so?

I bet you're hard to get over

I bet the room just won't shine

I bet my hands I can stay here

And I bet you mean more than you mind…

Agnes: Yeah, I think so, and I'm hardly ever wrong about these things.

Bert pops his drunken head through the door. He's dressed as the Hunchback of Notre Dame. A fitting costume if ever there was one.

Bert (slurring): Hey Zena! (hiccup) Get your warrior ass (hiccup) out here. It's time for the (hiccup) scavenger hunt.

Agnes: Cool it Quasimodo! Please Mr. Addison! I don't think any of us are ready for Bert's scavenger hunt.

David: Okay, I'll be out in a minute. Find us a limbo pole, would ya?

Agnes: Gladly. Here, I found these stuffed in the back of the filing cabinet. Put them on so you'll have a costume.

She hands him a set of devil horns. God only knows how they wound up in the back of the filing cabinet. He thinks about last Halloween when he wore these. Maddie's dad had had a heart attack. She'd been frightened and devastated…and she'd needed him. Maybe that's what it all comes down to after all. He wants her to need him.

David (mumbling): Don't hold your breath, Dave.

If you're gone

Maybe it's time to come home

There's an awful lot of breathing room

But I can hardly move

If you're gone

Baby you need to come home

Come home

There's a little bit of something me in everything in you

David turns back around in his chair, gazing out the window, twirling the devil horns. As Agnes goes out the door someone silently enters the office and approaches his chair. The person is dressed in a long flowing black dress with pointy shoes and a pointy hat. The hair is a wild rat's nest. The person grabs the back of David's chair and quickly turns it around. He's staring into the face of an old hag.

David: What the-

Witch (whispering hoarsely): Would you like a bite of my magic apple young man?

David (smiling): Well that depends…Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Witch: I've been told by some that I'm a very good witch.

David: In that case…what did you want me to bite again?

He grabs her around the waist and sits her on his lap.

Maddie: Hey, how did you know it was me?

David: I'm a detective, Watson. I also rented the costume.

Maddie: Oh yeah.

She looks down at her costume.

Maddie: Well, it's not the costume I would have picked but a promise is a promise.

So this is what I remind you of?

David: Just the opposite. I thought it would be interesting to see the beauty queen as a crone. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever known, Maddie, even if I don't find you the least bit attractive right now for some reason. I do like the nose wart though.

Maddie smiles, revealing a blacked out front tooth. David laughs out loud.

Maddie: David, you always know the right thing to say. I guess that's why I love you.

David: I thought it was because of my big-

Maddie: Watch it David. This is still a family show.

David: What? I can't talk about my big salary in prime time? What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be in Hawaii right now.

Maddie: I decided that going back to Blue Moon Shampoo was just that. Going backwards. I don't go backwards, David. I only go forward. You reminded me of that the other day. I just had to figure it out for myself.

David: Boy, old Chad must be heartbroken.

Maddie: So what? He'll get over it. He had Tiegs on the phone before I even walked out the door.

David: So you can't go back again, eh, your highness?

Maddie: No. Not to high school and not to modeling. Maybe I did make some mistakes and hurt some people along the way, but I can't fix those things now. I have to move on. They have to move on. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Life is too short.

David: And there's no place like home.

Maddie: What?

David: Oh, sorry. I thought we were trading clichés. And I can't quite take you seriously when you're dressed like the Wicked Witch of the West. Maybe if I close my eyes…

Maddie: Sure, make fun of me. I guess I earned it.

By the way, I think the police are going to leave you alone now. They discovered evidence in the basement that led them to believe there was a woman living with Norman.

David: What kind of evidence? You and I were down there. We didn't see anything.

Maddie: Umm, well it hit me last night while I was sleeping. Oh forget it. It's a long story.

And here's something odd. I called my mother. She never sent that box of yearbooks, but she can't find them at home either.

David starts humming the theme to the Twilight Zone.

Maddie: Oh stop it. There was a fire next door last night too. They discovered the cat in the house. They figure he's the one who started the fire somehow. Still no sign of Norman or her.

David: The Blaire witch?

Maddie: They also opened the safe but never found the jewelry. I wonder if they'll find the ring?

David: What?

Maddie: Never mind.

David: There's something you're not telling me, Maddie.

Maddie: The only thing I'm not telling you is what I can't understand myself. I'm going to have to think about this one for awhile. Now the employees are out there waiting for us. Shall we make an entrance?

She begins to rise off his lap. He pulls her back down.

David: In a minute.

He places his hand on the back of her neck and brings her face toward him. They share a long, steamy kiss.

Maddie: I'd like to put these last few days behind us, David. I'm finally beginning to feel like myself again.

He looks her up and down.

David: Yes, you are.

Maddie: Are you feeling okay?

David: Me? I'm feeling great. Why don't you give me a try and find out for yourself.

Maddie: Later.

As her fingertips graze his cheek a grin tugs at his mouth.

David: I think dressing up in costume is good for you, Maddie.

She gives him a dubious look.

Maddie: Oh really.

David: Yes. I think this could be therapeutic… liberating. In fact I think you ought to do it more often.

Maddie: Don't push your luck David. This is a one time only offer.

David: Now, don't be so quick here. How about next month we try something different. Say…how about…a candy striper!

Maddie: David, are you ever going to give this up?

David: Not while there's breath in my body, partner.

Maddie places the horns on his head.

Maddie: You really are a horny little devil, Addison.

David: Oh, that's original.

Maddie: I don't need to be original; that's why I have you.

David: Hey, at least you need me for something.

Maddie has a faraway look in her eyes.

Maddie: Yeah, you come in pretty handy every now and then, David.

They get up; she pulls him to her by the front of his shirt and kisses him one more time.

They start to walk outside, arm in arm.

David (singing): Got a black magic woman, I got a black magic woman, Yes, I got a black magic woman, Got me so blind I can't see, but she's a black magic woman, and she's trying to make a devil out of me-

Hey MacGilicuddy! Unhand that hunchback…

And we fade to black.


Song Credits:

Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult

Fallin' - Alicia Keys

Spooky - Classics IV

Strange Magic - Electric Light Orchestra

Theme from the Twilight Zone

If You're Gone - Matchbox 20

Black Magic Woman - Fleetwood Mac/Carlos Santana

 Diane and Lizzie,

Thanks for your valuable insights and ideas. Thanks to all the writers for your inspiration. And thanks for giving me the opportunity to participate in Season Seven!

Up the Down Rabbit Hole