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Episode One   |   Episode Two   |   Chairman of the Bored   |   Chairman of the Bored II   |   Smeared Window   |   Episode Six   |   Gosh Golly Gee, Maddie   |   Cold Feet, Warm Heart   |   Episode Nine   |   Episode Ten   |   Dog...Cat...Man...Woman   |   She's a Little Bit Country, He's a Little Bit R&B   |   Episode Thirteen   |   Scenes of the Crime   |   The Wedding: Part One   |   The Wedding: Part Two   |   The Wedding: Part Three   |   Episode Nineteen   |   Episode Twenty   |   Maximum Insecurity   |   Hooked on a Feeling
Smeared Window

"I do not want to take this case, David!!"

SLAM!!! The door to Maddie Hayes' office bangs shut in David Addison's face. David smiles at the staring staff.

"Don't worry, she just hasn't had her morning dose of Ole Dave yet."

David nonchalantly opens the door and walks into the office, shutting it quietly behind him.

"Just a hunch, but you seem a trifle disturbed."

Maddie glares at him.
"We're not taking this case, Addison, and that's final."

"Just because of one tiny mishap..."

"WHAT?? One...tiny...mishap??"

"Ok, maybe a couple little accidents..."

Maddie walks up to him and they stand inches apart, almost touching noses.

"Accident? You call murder an accident? It doesn't matter, we're not involved, and we're not taking this case. Understand??"

David just stands there, looking at her, silently.

"Well? Do you understand?"

David moves toward the door, he grasps the knob and opens it an inch.

"Yeah, I understand. I understand that you have weird issues with cases like this, and I can't figure out why. I also understand that we need this case, and that I am taking it. With or without you."

The door slams shut and we hear heavy footsteps and then a second slam as the door on David's office slams also. Picking up her purse, Maddie walks out of her office.

"Ms. Hayes?" Ms. Dipesto asks hesitantly.

"I'm leaving for the day."

"But you just got here."


"Yes, Ms. Hayes."

(Cut to the hotel, outside of Maddie's room, number 209)

Maddie sighs as she digs in her purse for her hotel room key. It had been a long day, no matter how short, and the business with David wasn't making her life any easier. With Annie gone, it was just awkward, at least with her here, Maddie had some reason to stay mad at David. Sighing again, she slips the key into the lock and lets herself into the hotel room. Taking off her shoes, Maddie walks over to the phone and picks it up.

"Room service, please. Yes, I'd like to order a bottle of red wine. Thank you."

Setting down the phone, Maddie picks up the remote to the television; she flicks it on and flips through the channels. There is a knock on the door and Maddie opens it with the chain still on.

"Room service."

"Just a minute." She undoes the chain and lets the young man in. "On the table will be fine. Thank you."

He puts down the bottle of wine and a glass and exits the room; Maddie puts the lock back on and sinks down onto the bed, the glass in her hand threatening to spill over with red liquid. Maddie takes a sip and sighs contentedly, reverting her attention to the television; she changes the channel again. Going past an old movie, she flips back to it. Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window is on. Maddie leans back into the pillows propped behind her, sipping her wine. The movie has just started and she quickly becomes engrossed.  Maddie sets the wineglass on the table beside her and yawns. "Accident, HA!" Slipping into sleep, she thinks about the movie...

~ ~ ~

(In color but obviously a dream sequence. David as LB Jeffries [Jeff] Maddie as Lisa Fremont, Agnes as Stella [Nurse] Bert as Lars Thorwald, Annie as Mrs. Thorwald, MacGilicuddy as Officer Doyle) Takes place in David's apartment, the living room.

Stella wheels Jeff through the door of his apartment. Jeff's leg is in a cast.

"I will be here whenever you need me; I will be serving as your nurse from now until you get the cast off."

"Falling down those stairs was so unlike me. I am usually a lot more..."

Lisa breezes into the room, "No, Jeff, you're not."

Jeff smiles and reaches for Lisa's hand.

"It's so nice to see you too, Lisa." She jerks back from his touch, "What, have you no pity for the crippled?"

Lisa sneers. "Not when you probably fell down those stairs trying to grope innocent women."

Jeff puts a hand over his heart, "I'm wounded. You know you're the only one that won't willingly let me grope you..." he reaches for her hand again, and she slaps his away.

"Stella, if you want to go now, you can, I'll be here in case something...unfortunate... happens."

"Thank you, Ms. Fremont. If you're sure you'll be ok..." she says tentatively.

"We'll be fine." Jeff pats the nurse's hand reassuringly. "She may seem a little cold, but she really just needs to be thawed." He wiggles his eyebrows at Lisa.

"Believe me, Jeff, when and if I get `thawed', you'll be the last person I call."

"She loves me! Go on, Stella, we'll be fine."

Stella picks up her purse and walks out the door.

"We're alone now, you can stop being the ice princess."

Lisa appears to ignore him and looks around the room with disdain. "You really ought to get more furniture, and who picked out that couch? It's hideous!"

"As usual, you're compliments leave me speechless."

"Well, I had the deliveryman bring up the chair you ordered last week, at least you won't have to sit on...that." She points to the couch.

"This is just a feeling, but I'm guessing you don't like my couch?" Jeff says, amused. "Why is that?"

"It gives me bad vibes, reminds me of someone I don't want to be reminded of, I don't know who though." Lisa shudders.

Right then the deliverymen come in carrying a black leather Lay-z-boy recliner.

"Where do you want this?"

Jeff scratches his head and appears to think for a moment. "Over there by the window. At least I'll have something interesting to look at." He grins and Lisa looks out the window to see a young woman exercising in her living room.

Lisa glares at him. "That is sick and deranged."

"Yeah, it's a dirty job, but someone has to do it."

Lisa looks out the window at the apartment building across the alley. "Does no one have curtains anymore?"
We get a close up on the first window, a man is playing a piano, every now and then stopping and writing something on a pad nearby. Next window: The woman dancing ballet. Next window: Two people sleeping on the balcony of the apartment, an alarm goes off and they both scramble to get up. Next window: A woman putting a little terrier into a basket and lowering him to the ground with a rope. Next window: A man bringing his wife breakfast in bed, the woman makes a rude gesture and the man throws his hands up and walks out of the room. Next window: A woman dressed in a green house dress, setting the table for breakfast.

Jeff reaches out and grabs Lisa's hand, spinning her around and setting her on his lap, she makes no move to get up. "It's for poor detectives like me that can't detect anymore," he sticks out his lower lip, "You will visit the cripple every now and then, won't you?"

"Every day." Lisa promises, she turns the chair so they are facing the window. "What do you know about your neighbors?"

Jeff smiles, "Well, the man with the piano is a musician, he lives alone, and doesn't have much company. He gets drunk a lot. The woman that is dancing is a ballet dancer, she practices whenever she can, she gets a lot of male company. She also lives alone. Those two sleep on the balcony every night, except the rainy ones, then they scramble to get inside before they get drenched."

"Have you ever actually met any of these people?" Lisa asks with genuine curiosity and a touch of disbelief.

"Nope, to the next window..."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Yep, the woman putting the dog in the basket, she does that about three times a day. She is married, he works, comes home about five. The man with the sick wife, mean too, he hardly ever leaves except to go to work, he`s a salesman, I don't know much about them. They keep to themselves. The woman is a real witch though. Then there is the woman in the green dress, she`s a real nut job. She sets the table every morning, every night. She lives alone though. No husband or boyfriend. I feel kind of bad for her. She must be lonely."

Lisa sighs and kisses him on the cheek before carefully getting off of his lap. "Well, Mr. Jeffries, unlike you, I have to work today. I'll come by with dinner tonight?"

Jeff brings her hand to his lips, "I'll look forward to it."

Lisa smiles and walks out of the apartment.

(Later that night)

Jeff is sitting in front of the window, watching the people in the building across the alley. (He has designated each a nickname) The dancer (Ms. Torso) is dancing, the musician (Mr. Music) is drinking shots of whiskey and pounding on the piano keys. The nut case (Ms. Lonely heart) is setting the table for dinner, two plates, two glasses, two of everything. One of her. Jeff raises his eyes to the window above that, there is no sign of the sick wife, but the husband is sitting in the living room. The bedroom window is dark.

"Jeff, are you still sitting there? That's where I left you this morning." Jeff jumps at the sound of Lisa's voice and turns his chair to face her.

"I was wondering when you were going to get here. I thought you were going to get off around five?" Jeff says, alluding the question.

Lisa sighs, "A new client walked in around four-thirty. I couldn't very well send them away, could I? It was a waste of time, anyway, I didn't take the case."

Jeff gapes at her, "You didn't take a case? You must really be worried about me."

"Don`t flatter yourself, it just wasn't something that I wanted to do by myself," she shrugs, "She wanted us to investigate her son's suicide. I just wasn't comfortable doing it." she sets the big paper sack on the table and takes off her coat.

Jeff whistles, "Is that a new dress?"

Lisa twirls around and smiles charmingly at him, "Do you like it? It's right off the Paris plane. A steal at $1,100."

"I don't think I've ever seen you wear the same dress twice. It's beautiful, a great choice for a beautiful woman. Have you thought about what I asked last week?"

Lisa starts to take things out of the sack, two Styrofoam boxes, and a bottle of red wine. "I have thought about it, yes."

"When are you going to cut the crap and marry me, Lisa?"

Lisa drops her hat on the table and turns, eyes wide and brimming with tears. "It's not crap, Jeff-"

"Yes it is!"
She continues, "I can't just make a decision-"

He interrupts again, "God knows that would be too easy."

"-I have to think about it first, that's the way I am. I have to think, weigh the possibilities..."

"Are you saying that if a richer more eligible man came along, you would drop me like raw meat?" Jeff asks, incredulous.

Lisa sighs and turns back to the bag, "I don't want to have this conversation now, not right this minute, ok? It's been a long day and I'm not up to another pointless argument with you."

Lisa freezes and whirls around to face him, "Jeff, I didn't mean that this is pointless..."

"I know what you meant. Just forget it, we'll talk about it later." Jeff turns back to the window, "His wife has disappeared."

Lisa walks into the kitchen, "Who's wife disappeared?"

"The salesman, with the mean sick wife? She's gone. I haven't see her all day." Jeff pauses and motions with his hand, "It's starting to rain."

Lisa renters the living room and sets a plate of what appears to be some sort of Chinese food on his lap, "It's been raining, and just because you haven't seen her, doesn't mean she's not there. Maybe she's been napping."

"Thanks. Napping? All day? I don't think so." Jeff forks a bite of rice into his mouth.

"Have you been doing this all day? This is sick, Jeff, you need a hobby." Lisa sits in the chair beside him, "Those people deserve their privacy, you know."

Jeff shrugs, "Not all day, I made a sandwich earlier, he had the blinds closed for an hour this afternoon. And if they want privacy, they should shut their curtains."

"Your depth of sensitivity is staggering. How would you feel if they watched you every hour of everyday and considered it their hobby?" she asks him.

"It would be my own fault for not shutting the blinds, that's what I think." Jeff says.

Lisa rolls her eyes, "Really, Jeff. Have a little respect for privacy. I can't imagine it feels too good to be looked at all the time."

"You should know."

"I should?" she looks perplexed.

"Never mind. Are you coming tomorrow morning? Or are you going to make me wait to see you until tomorrow night?" He looks at her, his eyes wide and his lower lip stuck out.

Lisa laughs, "If you promise not to stare out that window while I`m here."


Lisa is sitting on Jeff's lap, they're kissing (Basically making out), when Jeff opens his eyes and stares out the window. Lisa jerks back and looks at him questioningly.

"What's wrong?" she asks, offended at the manner in which he pulled away.

"What would a man be selling in the rain at nine o'clock at night?"

Lisa looks at him, perplexed, "Jeff, what are you talking about?" she twists around on his lap and looks out the window.

Going out of his apartment, was the salesman. Lisa jumps up from Jeff's lap, making him wince.

"That's it! I have had enough. This isn't healthy, Jeff! Staring out and invading peoples' lives like this. It just isn't right!" Lisa grabs her purse and walks out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her.

Jeff sighs and turns back to the window, the man has already gone and the whole apartment is dark. Jeff leans his head back against the chair and closes his eyes, he drifts into sleep...

He wakes at 2:35AM to see the salesman coming back into his apartment, and leaving again at 3:00AM.

Jeff dozes...

He awakens again at 4:30 and see the salesman coming back into the apartment, sample case in hand, and leaving about thirty minutes later. Jeff is thoroughly confused. "What in the world would a man be selling at four o'clock in the morning?" he wondered aloud. He wasn't awake to see him coming home again...

"You know, Mr. Jeffries, you would be a whole lot more comfortable if you'd just sleep in a bed for once." Stella's voice broke through Jeff's sleep and woke him with a start. "I'm starting to agree with Ms. Fremont, staring out of that window at all hours of the night, it's not healthy."

Jeff waves off Stella's lecture and turns his attention to the window, Ms. Torso is dancing as she goes about her morning chores, Mr. Music is pounding away on his piano, Ms. Lonely Heart is setting the table for yet another lonely breakfast, the salesman's apartment blinds are shut, keeping Jeff from seeing what's going on.

Jeff is finishing his breakfast when the salesman's blinds go up. Stella comes into the apartment carrying a load of laundry, "I'll fold these tomorrow morning, I'm going to go now, Mr. Jeffries."

Jeff nods absently, engrossed in straining to see what the salesman is doing. Just as Stella is walking out the door, Jeff calls, "Stella, can you hand me my binoculars from the shelf?" Stella sighs and hands them to him.

"I still say it's a bad idea." she mutters as she walks out the door.

Jeff raises the binoculars and peers through them, he see the salesman in his kitchen, carefully wrapping a knife in newspaper, when he is through with the knife, he moves on to a small saw. Jeff puts the binoculars in his lap and appears to think.


Lisa is again sitting on Jeff's lap, kissing him. Every few minutes, Jeff manages to pull away and get a sentence out, "And then he wrapped the knife-" Lisa kisses him, "Then the saw-"

"I get the feeling I'm being ignored." Lisa sighs and leans her head against his chest, "What do I have to do to get your mind off of your neighbor?"

Jeff wiggles his eyebrows and Lisa sighs again.

"You could stay tonight." Jeff says in all seriousness.

Lisa looks directly into his eyes, "I don't think that's such a good idea, Jeff. Besides, I didn't bring anything to sleep in."

Jeff pouts, "It would get me away from the window..." Jeff snaps his head back to the window, "Lisa, tell me, what does that look like to you?"

Lisa rolls her eyes and turns her body towards the window, "It looks like a man with a  rope, Jeff."

"Walking into his the bedroom where his wife supposedly is, what do you think he's going to do with that rope, Lisa?"

Disgusted, Lisa gets up from his lap, "Maybe he's going to tie something, I don't know, I don't care. Lots of people have knives and saws around their houses. Lots of men come home at night and don't speak to their wives. Lots of wives nag and then hate them and trouble starts. But very, very few of them end up in murder if that's what you're thinking."

"You like using that word, don't you?"

"You saw all that he did, didn't you? Every move that he made?"

Jeff looks confused, "Yes, of course, I-"

Lisa shakes her head in exasperation, "You could see because the shades were up and he walked along the corridor and the street and the back yard. Oh Jeff, do you think a murderer would let you see all that? That he wouldn't pull the shades down and hide behind them?"

"That's where he's being clever, he doesn't want anyone to get suspicious." Jeff explains.

"A murderer would never let you see so much, Jeff. You know that." Lisa sighs and sits down on the couch.

They both watch as the salesman walks into the bedroom and ties the rope around a crate sitting next to the bed, "Now what do you think is in that crate, Lisa?"

 Seeing Jeff won't let go of the subject until his curiosity is appeased, she relents, "Ok, Jeff, start from the beginning, tell me everything you saw, and what you think it means..."

Through the window we see Lisa going into the apartment building across the alley, a few minutes later, the phone rings in Jeff's apartment, Jeff picks it up. "What's the name?"

"The name on the second floor rear mailbox reads Mr. and Mrs. Lars, that's L-A-R-S, Lars Thorwald...125 West 9th Street. Is that ok?"

"That's great, come on back up." Jeff smiles as he hangs up the phone.

A few minutes later, Lisa comes through the door, a wary smile on her face, "What now, Jeff?"

"Now we sit and wait for something to happen, and I call our friend down at the police station." Jeff winks at her and picks up the phone.

Lisa looks perplexed, "We have a friend at the police station?"

"Doyle please. Yeah, hey, Jeffries here. I have something I want you to check out for me, a little neighborhood murder, if you will...What? Yeah, tomorrow is fine. I'll see you then." Jeff hangs up the phone and turns to Lisa, "Tomorrow at four, can you make it?"

Lisa sighs, "I'll be there."


Doyle is standing at the window, using Jeff's binoculars to look out into Thorwald's apartment, "If you didn't see the killing or the body, how do you know there was a murder?" he puts down the binoculars and turns to look at Jeff.

"Because everything this man's done has been suspicious. Trips at night in the rain, knives and saws, trunks with rope, and now this wife that isn't there anymore." Jeff motions to the window and Doyle rolls his eyes.

"I'll admit, that does sound suspicious, but there are a number of things that could be going on in that apartment, Jeff, murder being the least likely. I'm sure that there's a simple explanation for all of this."

Jeff sighs and rubs his temples, "What are you saying, Doyle?"

"I'm saying that I've seen morons commit a better murder than what you're telling me. It's a stupid way to murder someone, in front of at least twenty windows? And then sit back and wait for the police to come and get you?"

"Well, you're not doing a very good job, then. Go pick him up!" Jeff nearly shouts in frustration.

"You know, for a detective, you don't know much about homicide. That man would not have just knocked his wife off after dinner, crammed her in a crate, and put her in storage."

Lisa gets up from the chair she had been sitting in, "I'll bet it's been done."

Doyle turns to Lisa, "Most everything has been done, Ms. Fremont. Under panic. This man isn't panicked."

"You think I made all this up, don't you?" Jeff asks.

"I think there has got to be a simple explanation for everything that you've seen." he pauses, "I'll snoop around a little and tell you what I find."

Jeff nods and Doyle walks to the door, turning he says to Lisa, "It was nice to see you again, Ms. Fremont."

"You too, Mr. Doyle." Lisa closes the door behind him with a bang, "It's ok, Jeff. I'm sure-"

Jeff cuts her off, "I just know something funny is going on over there, I just know it." he watches as Doyle comes into sight in the alley, `snooping', and then as the little terrier sniffs and digs furiously in Thorwald's flower garden. Thorwald comes up to the dog and pats him on his way.

"Jeff, I've come to a decision." Lisa announces.

"You've concluded that green ice cream was a bad idea too, huh?" Jeff smiles as he turns to look at her.

Lisa smiles and takes a suitcase out from behind her back, "If it's ok, I'm going to stay here tonight."

Jeff reaches out and takes the suitcase from her, grabbing her hand, he pulls her over to the chair. Lisa sits on the arm of it carefully. He kisses her lightly on the nose and she jumps up from the chair quickly.

"Lisa-" Jeff protests.

"You might have more than just me on your mind tonight, but I won't give you anything else to think about." she says as she shuts the blinds on the window.                                                                           


Jeff is sitting in his usual place by the window, but the blinds are shut and he appears to be daydreaming, he jumps when the phone rings, "Hello?"

"Jeff? Doyle here. I think I have some good news." he pauses, "I found three witnesses that say Mr. Thorwald escorted his wife to the train station to put her on a train to the country."

Jeff sighs in exasperation, "Did anyone actually see her get on that train, Doyle? I mean, can you really trust anything the guy says? He's a murderer!"

Doyle sighs, "Did anyone, including you, actually see her murdered?"

"Why don't you just go over and search Thorwald's apartment? That place has got to be drowning in evidence."

"Jeff, you can't just burst into someone else's home and demand to look around. You have to get a search warrant from a judge, and all of that takes time, and evidence."

Jeff becomes exasperated, "What do you want, Doyle? Bloody footsteps leading up to the door?"

Doyle sighs loudly, equally irritated, "What I don't want is to be nagged." he pauses, "And, Jeff? I also found in my research this morning that Thorwald received a postcard from his wife, Anna, this morning from Merritsville, telling him that she arrived safely and was feeling better already."

Jeff hangs up the phone and sits back in his chair, glancing up, he looks out the window, Mr. Thorwald has come home and is packing his shirts into a suitcase, worried that he is leaving town, Jeff picks up the phone and dials Doyle's home number.

Mrs. Doyle picks up the phone, "Oh, Jeff. Tom's not home yet. Do you want to leave a message?"

"Just tell him I called, tell him to get over here as soon as he gets the message? Thanks Jamie." Jeff smiles and hangs up the phone, looking out the window again.

The woman is lowering the terrier to the garden again, Jeff looks up and sees Thorwald watching the little dog with a glare.

Lisa and Stella walk into the apartment and Jeff fills them in on what's been happening. "Well, if he got a postcard from her-" Lisa says hesitatingly.

"Maybe she isn't dead? No, Lisa, she's dead alright. I know it."

An hour later, Jeff and Lisa are eating dinner, Stella is folding sheets, and there is a scream from across the alley. Lisa drops her fork and Stella gasps, they all turn toward the window, everyone is out on their balconies, looking down into Thorwald's garden. There lies the little dog, dead.

The owner is sobbing, her husband is trying to pull her back into the apartment, but she resists and says, "Which one of you did it? Which one of you killed my dog? You don't know the meaning of the word 'neighbor.' Neighbors like each other, speak to each other, care if anybody lives or dies, but none of you do. But I couldn't imagine any of you bein' so low that you'd kill a little helpless, friendly dog - the only thing in this whole neighborhood who liked anybody. Did ya kill him because he liked ya? Just because he liked ya?"

Jeff leans back into the chair and sighs, "Lisa, if I asked you to do something, would you do it without asking why?"


"We need evidence, Lisa."

Lisa's eyes widen in understanding, "You can't expect me to go rifle through that mans things, Jeff."

"Why not? Lisa, that's what we do. Photographers photograph, teacher teach, doctors doc--"

"Do you have a point?"

"--detectives detect. It's what we do."

Lisa rolls her eyes, "That man didn't do anything wrong. We have no evidence."

"That's what you're going in there for, Lisa. This is our big case. You don't even have to go in to his apartment, all you have to do is dig up those flowers."

Lisa is hesitating. "I don't know, Jeff..."

"Sure you do, looks just me."

Lisa glances at him, amused. "You're running out of new lines, Jeff."

"No, I've never used that one before." Jeff says, perplexed.

"Hmmm, I could have sworn..."

"Yes, you could have, but you didn't. I like that."

Lisa looks out the window down onto the flower garden, then back up to the window, where she can plainly see Mr. Thorwald standing in the bedroom, packing.

Stella pipes up from Lisa's side, "I hate to burst your detecting bubbles here, but if he happens to glance out the window and see us, what do you suppose his reaction would be?"

Lisa turns to Jeff, worry apparent on her face, "He'd know then that we are on to him."

Jeff smiles and shakes his head, "No, because he won't be there."

Lisa and Stella both gape at him and say at the same time, "What?!"

"Am I the only one who read the script?" Jeff sighs, "Come here, I'll tell you during the commercial..."

Commercial: (Voice speaks while showing clips of Moonlighting) They're detectives, they're professionals, they're back! For another season, you can enjoy the usual banter, the romance, the door slamming, the mystery. Tuesdays at nine. (A scene from `Chairman of the Bored`) "I wouldn`t miss this for all the bagels in Brooklyn!" (Voice) Moonlighting, a whole new season, Tuesdays at nine. What? Oh, Sundays at nine. Dana is apparently very busy. (Fades and we go back to Rear Window)

Jeff and Stella watch as Lisa sneaks over to the other building, she disappears into the building and reappears in the hall outside of Thorwald's apartment. She is holding a piece of paper, she folds it and slides it under the door, turning, Lisa runs around the corner and down out of the building.

Meanwhile: Mr. Thorwald has read the note and is obviously mad about it's contents. He runs out of the apartment and down the stairs after Lisa. She hides around a corner and he doesn't see her. He looks around and walks back into the apartment, clearly agitated. He sits back down in the chair and appears to think for a minute. Lisa leaves the corner and runs back to Jeff's building. A few minutes pass and Lisa enters the apartment.

"How did it work?" she says as she hangs her coat up on the rack.

Jeff smiles at her, "Like a charm. Let's finish this episode up, the writer's getting tired." he picks up the phone and dials a number, in Thorwald's apartment he picks up the phone. "What have you done with her?"

"Who is this?"

"Did you get my note? Where is she, Thorwald?"

"Do you want money?"

"Meet me at the cafe across from your apartment building in five minutes, don't be late." Jeff hangs up the phone and all three of the observers turn to the window to see a furious Thorwald grab his coat and walk out of the apartment. Jeff turns to Lisa, "That ought to give you about ten minutes. Be careful."

Lisa smiles at him, "Aren't I always?"

Through the window, we see Lisa and Stella down in Thorwald's garden, Lisa begins digging and Stella keeps an eye on the window, waiting for a sign that Thorwald has come back. Lisa stops digging and looks up at the window, shrugging. There is nothing there. She suddenly looks up at Thorwald's apartment and Jeff feels a stab of fear in his chest. He can see the window is half open on the balcony and knows what Lisa is thinking. "Don't do it, Lisa." Jeff mutters to himself even as he watches her climb the fire escape. Lisa gets safely inside the window and dusts her hands off on the skirt of her dress. She looks directly at Jeff's window and waves, smiles nervously, then turns and starts to go through Thorwald's dresser.

Stella enters Jeff's apartment, "Is she ok? I tried to talk her out of it, Mr. Jeffries, but she wouldn't listen..." Jeff waves away Stella's apology and turns his attention back to Lisa. "Uh-oh. Looks like Ms. Lonely Heart had a bad night." Stella says a minute or so later. Jeff directs his gaze to the apartment below Thorwald's and sees Ms. Lonely Heart with a bottle of pills, pouring out about a dozen into her palm and picking up her water from the bedside table. "We ought to do something, Mr. Jeffries."

Jeff nods and picks up the phone. Forgetting about Lisa for a moment, he dials a number, "Hello? Police? No...don't put me on..." he takes the phone away from his ear and glares at it, "Hold."

Stella gasps loudly, "Mr. Jeffries, it's Mr. Thorwald! He's coming!" Jeff jerks his head up and stares helplessly into Thorwald's apartment, where Lisa is busily going through Thorwald's nightstand. Thorwald himself is standing on the other side of the door, unlocking it. Lisa hears the noise and whips her head around, just in time to see him come through the front door.

Jeff hears a voice on the phone, "Hello? Yes, this is an emergency, there is a woman being attacked in an apartment over here." he gives the address and hangs up. He watches out the window, never taking his eyes off Lisa's face. Lisa is looking around frantically, searching out a place to hide, there isn't one. She stands frozen in place as Thorwald comes into the apartment and stops, looking right at her. He stands there for a minute and then, as if pushed from behind, lunges at her.

Jeff says nothing, but his hand is gripping the edge of the recliner so hard his knuckles have turned white.

Thorwald is shaking Lisa by the shoulders, seemingly asking her questions as he does so, and Lisa makes motions with her hands. Thorwald glares at her and throws her down on the couch. We see a word escape Lisa's lips right as Thorwald raises an arm to hit her, and Jeff recognizes his name. He looks over to see the police at Thorwald's door, they knock and Thorwald freezes, he walks over to the door, opening it he looks surprised and dismayed to see police. The police ask questions and Lisa puts her hands behind her back, pointing to a gold ring on her finger. Mrs. Thorwald's wedding ring.

Thorwald sees this gesture and glances towards Jeff's window, quickly, Jeff turns the recliner and turns off the lights.

"Do you think he saw us, Mr. Jeffries?" Stella asks with a tremble in her voice.

"I don't know, Stella, I don't think so." he sighs, letting out the breath he was sure he had been holding since Lisa had climbed in that window, "You better go down to the jail and bail Lisa out." Jeff can't hide a smile, Lisa in jail was something that would be amusing. He hands Stella money and watches her walk out the door. He turns back to the window, Thorwald's lights are on. The phone rings, Jeff picks it up excitedly, thinking it's Doyle.

"You won't believe this, Doyle! I have all the evidence you could ever want...Hello?" the phone goes dead and Jeff's eyes widen, realizing the mistake he's made. He turns hurriedly back to the window. Thorwald's lights are out. Swallowing oncoming terror, Jeff glances towards the door, it's unlocked. Trying not panic, he looks for a place to hide. He laughs at himself, hiding him wasn't the difficulty, it was his leg that was the problem.

The door knob turns and Jeff looks up, waiting. Thorwald appears in the doorway, carrying a gun.

"Oh, so you want to play like that, huh? Celia, get my mop!"

"What do you know?" Thorwald says as he cocks the pistol.

"Africa is a continent, this is a dream sequence, and that gun's not real." Jeff says with a smirk.

Thorwald grimaces, "Damn." he throws down the gun and the muzzle breaks off.

"See? Plastic."

"Your girlfriend could have turned me in tonight, why didn't she?" Thorwald asks curiously.

Jeff shrugs, "She's blonde."

Thorwald advances on Jeff, "Enough games."

Jeff snaps his fingers, "And I was just starting to enjoy myself."

Thorwald grabs Jeff by the collar and yanks him out of the chair, pulling him over to the window. Jeff sees Lisa and Stella walking towards the building, both smiling.

"Stella!!! Stella!!!" Jeff yells and then smiles at the camera, "I've always wanted to do that."

Stella and Lisa look up and their smiles disappear. "Jeff!" Lisa screams as she stands frozen in place. "Jeff, hang on!"

Jeff rolls his eyes at the camera, "Of course I'm going to hang on." Thorwald gets Jeff halfway over the window and flips him, so he's just hanging on by his hands.

"A little help here, please?" Jeff mumbles as he hangs.

 Thorwald disappears from view, returning with the plastic gun, "I knew I brought this for a reason." he starts repeatedly beating Jeff on the hands with the gun. Jeff groans and his hands slip from the railing just as the police burst into the apartment.


Lisa sits on the side of Jeff's hospital bed and looks at his sleeping face. She can't wait to see his face when she shows him the ring on her finger. He had been patient with her, and she was ready to give her answer. Smiling to herself, Lisa thinks of how she will tell him that the couch was ruined after he fell out of the window. She leans over to kiss him on the cheek. At the last moment before her lips touch his cheek, he turns his head and they share a deep and passionate kiss.

~ ~ ~

Maddie jerks awake and slowly sits up in the bed. Glancing at the television, she sees Rear Window has just ended; the credits are rolling. Maddie flicks off the TV and leans back into the pillows. She slowly brings her hand up to touch her lips and we...


Credits: Story Idea: Carolina
               Director: Wendy
              Writer: Sarah
              Beta Reader: Crystal
Wendy, Carolina, and Sarah would like to thank; First of all, each other, none of us could have come up with this alone. We did good, guys! Crystal for beta reading, Dana for support and good ideas,  Isabel and Alisa for my new yellow napkin, and Diane for the title. Thanks guys!
Sponsors: Mulligan's Red Wine- The dream sequence starter
          Blue Moon Ale- The preferred drink of the `Yellow Napkin Heads'
          Chocolate Milk- Straight from the carton!

Episode Six